Buffy's Friendships

[Wicked]

Whats all this crap about Buffy not caring about Anya? You cant possibly believe that. Anya was one of Buffys best friends. Remember the arguement they had in Selfles about killing her. She didnt want to do it but she couldnt see another way.

Maybe she didnt love Anya as much as Willow and Xander but Anya was loved just as much as Tara was.

Again, remember when Xander left Anya. They were heart broken for Anya! You couldnt feel like that if you dont care.

 

[zombie.apparatus]

Im with you Wicked.. I think like everyone else in the Scooby gang can get annoyed or fustrated with Anya.. but they are all close friends.. and she is as much of a scooby than anyone else... why are we off topic lol :silly:

 

[Jules]

Whats all this crap about Buffy not caring about Anya? You cant possibly believe that. Anya was one of Buffys best friends. Remember the arguement they had in Selfles about killing her. She didnt want to do it but she couldnt see another way.

Maybe she didnt love Anya as much as Willow and Xander but Anya was loved just as much as Tara was.

Again, remember when Xander left Anya. They were heart broken for Anya! You couldnt feel like that if you dont care.

I never got that impression. I don't think Anya was one of Buffy's best friends. Xander and Willow were Buffy's best friends. Anya was Xander's girlfriend. Buffy chose Xander and Willow as friends, Anya she had to hang around with because of Xander.

I'm not saying Anya wasn't a member of the Scoobie gang, but I don't think Buffy cared as much about her as Buffy did Xander and Willow.

Who wouldn't have been heartbroken with Anya after she was left at the alter. As a woman, I bet Buffy was very sympathetic...but Anya went missing after the wedding. I'm sorry, but if my best friend had took off and no one could find her I'd do more than occassionaly ask Xander has he heard from Anya.

And in Selfless, Buffy came to a really quick descision about killing Anya. It took Buffy months to prepare herself to kill Angelus, and she wouldn't let anyone stake Spike...but just because Anya had gone back to being a demon she was all for running her threw with a sword...doesn't scream best friend to me.

 

[zombie.apparatus]

well of course Willow and Xander are Buffys closest and best friends.. but i think just like Tara, Buffy considered them more than a friend but not a best friend.. if you get that? When Taras family was there Buffy was very protective and have actually said to others like the council.. taras family.. about Tara and Anya.. being friends and even family. Because Tara was Willows girlfriend.. because Anya was Xanders girlfriend.. they were around the scoobies and apart of buffys life and slaying...

 

[Jules]

well of course Willow and Xander are Buffys closest and best friends.. but i think just like Tara, Buffy considered them more than a friend but not a best friend.. if you get that? When Taras family was there Buffy was very protective and have actually said to others like the council.. taras family.. about Tara and Anya.. being friends and even family. Because Tara was Willows girlfriend.. because Anya was Xanders girlfriend.. they were around the scoobies and apart of buffys life and slaying...

Even though I love that episode were Buffy and the gang stick up for Tara when her family shows up, I think its a perfect example of how not close Buffy is to Tara. Tara and Anya spent as much time with Buffy as Xander and Willow do (barring the first 2/3 years), yet Buffy doesn't know what to buy Tara for her brithday...and not in an 'Oh, I don't know what to buy her this year', but as an 'Oh, I don't know the person well enough to know what to buy her.'

And I always wondered how much of Buffy's protectiveness towards Tara was just the Slayer protecting that which was weaker and protecting her best friend Willow from heartache.

 

[Wicked]

Ok, first the Anya thing.

In Selfless Xanders exact words were "...to kill one of your best friends". They didnt go looking for her after the not-a-wedding because they knew she needed space. They didnt go looking for Xander either by the way.

She was quick to decide to kill Anya, but she also told Giles she'd let Dawn die to save the world. Her priorities changed a lot from season 5 to 7. They changed even more between 2 and 7.

Now, the Tara thing. You talk about Family and how close Buffy and Tara werent. Youre right. Then, they werent. But after Family, they got close. Tara lived in her house.. TAra was the one she confided in about Spike. She loved Tara. Dawn loved Tara. Tara was family.

 

[zombie.apparatus]

Ok, first the Anya thing.

In Selfless Xanders exact words were "...to kill one of your best friends". They didnt go looking for her after the not-a-wedding because they knew she needed space. They didnt go looking for Xander either by the way.

She was quick to decide to kill Anya, but she also told Giles she'd let Dawn die to save the world. Her priorities changed a lot from season 5 to 7. They changed even more between 2 and 7.

Now, the Tara thing. You talk about Family and how close Buffy and Tara werent. Youre right. Then, they werent. But after Family, they got close. Tara lived in her house.. TAra was the one she confided in about Spike. She loved Tara. Dawn loved Tara. Tara was family.

ok you make much more sense and put out a better arguement lol.. and im starting to agree about Buffy and Tara getting close after Family ...

what i also agree on is the fact buffy trusted Tara enough to tell her about her relationship with Spike... she didnt want to tell Willow or Xander or Dawn nor Giles.. but she was willing to tell Tara.. now this is either because she isnt that close to Tara and knows she wont have to face what the rest of the scoobies reactions are to what she would tell them and if they found out. OR she trusts her enough to tell her and knows she would understand and be there for her.. to help her through it..

ok i dont know if that made any sense.. but i rant :hehe:

 

[Wicked]

She didnt ask Willow becuase Willow was suffering through magic withdrawal.

She needed a witch to tell her if she came back wrong. But if she didnt trust Tara she wouldnt have confided in her. She would have found another way. But she told Tara what was going on. She didnt need to tell her she was sleeping with Spike. That shows she cared and trusted her.

 

[Jules]

Yeah, but did Buffy confide in Tara because she cared less about what Tara thought about her than Willow and Xander.

Buffy had no one else to go to, she couldn't go to Willow because Willow was dealing with magic withdrawl, plus there's that shame of having to tell your best friend that your doing something you can't stop yourself doing. Tara was a last resort to Buffy's problems. I think Buffy broke down in front of Tara. I don't think she meant to confide in her. If she did she probably would have gone to to Tara and said 'I need to know if I came back wrong because I'm letting Spike do terrible things to me.' Buffy's realisation that she hadn't come back wrong would have been an emotional overload. She just couldn't hold everything in anymore and Tara happened to be there.

I'm not saying they weren't friends. I'm just saying that Buffy didn't care as much about them as Xander and Dawn.

 

[zombie.apparatus]

Yeah, but did Buffy confide in Tara because she cared less about what Tara thought about her than Willow and Xander.

lol argh.. im useless.. ok this is what i was trying to ask? im not agreeing on it... im just curious to know if this was Buffys reason for going to Tara and not Willow and Xander

yet as wicked said.. "She didnt ask Willow becuase Willow was suffering through magic withdrawal."

 

[Wicked]

Like I said in the rep I gave Jules (which was meant to be neg but I was distracted) I would never trust someone I didnt care about and trust completely with something that big. It just wouldnt happen.

 

[Jules]

To reply to Wicked's comment, I'll give you an actual real life, personal, example of telling someone you don't know or trust a dark secret.

Something happened in my life that caused me a lot of guilt, and I let that guilt build up and build up. I went to my doctor and she confirmed to me that it couldn't have been my fault. I literally broke down in her office and confided in her, telling her everything. Now I see my doctor possibly once every 2 years, if that. She isn't my friend and I don't know her well enough to be that honest with her.

Your probably thinking...so what?

Buffy completely breaks down after Tara tells her she's not come back wrong. It's a huge relief to her and an added burden. Its an emotional overload. She needs a release and Tara is the only person there to listen to.

 

[Black Eye Guy]

I moved all of your posts into a new thread, cuz you guys went seriously off topic, but it was an interesting discussion.

I agree that Tara and Anya were outsiders to the group but I though Anya was more of an outsider then Tara. I'm think Buffy would have considered Tara more of a friend then Anya.

They certainly had more bonding moments, like in Family and The Body, then after she confided in her about spike, I think they became actual friends, not just 'friends-with-my-friends-girlfriend' type friends. And I don't think Buffy ever had that with Anya.

But I do agree with you Jules about that when Buffy was told she came back fine it was an emotional overload, and that's the reason she told Tara. But I think in doing that the two became closer.

 

[Angel's vision]

I guess Buffy was quicker to kill Anya this time cos she learned the hard way Reg Angelus and wasn't prepared to hesitate this time, but that is not saying that she liked killing her, i think she didn't want to but had to.

Anya became part of the scoobies through Xander, and they came to like her through Xander, so i guess it is all Xanders fault she was an active member lol
ever since her locket was broken she lost her powers, so her attraction to him was part of the reason why she changed.
As for Buff'ys relationship with Tara, well Tara was warm and approachable so she felt able to tell her things, and she was like one of those freindly councillors you see.

 

[Edmund Blackadder]

I feel it safe to say that Tara took on some quasi-parental figure in both Buffy and Dawns eyes because of all the friends she showed the most maturity.

Buffy loved Tara, that is evident. She loved her enough to trust her with her deepest secret.
She would have told Willow but it would have burdened her more than she needed, where as Tara could handle it as well as not judge her.

If Tara was a complete outsider to the group OR indeed some anonymous member of society and/or psychiatric profession, its totally understandable that Buffy would tell her secrets for an unbiased, impartial comment BUT Tara is not that. Tara is someone deep in the group, connected strongly to core members of Buffy's world, so to unleash her deepest secret is not something she would do lightly. On the contrary, the position that Tara is in means Buffy must trust her completely and to trust someone that much requires the love one would have for their closest friends and family.
Like I said before, Buffy sees Tara in a parental position and her break down is very similar to the whole confiding in your mother when you need her support.

 

[Wicked]

And just in case you still dont get it,

We love you. And Tara. But we don't kill humans. It's not the way.

 

[Black Eye Guy]

No one said Tara was a complete outsider to the group, but she was a little bit an outsider.

And as soon as Buffy Tells Tara, she's asking her not to tell anyone. That doesn't really say to me that she has total 100% trust in Tara. But I do think she's trusts her.

But I definetly think it was more of a right place right time type thing, Buffy wanted to tell someone, had to tell someone. And Tara was there.

We also see a drastic change in their friendship after this.

 

[Schillaci]

Something happened in my life that caused me a lot of guilt, and I let that guilt build up and build up. I went to my doctor and she confirmed to me that it couldn't have been my fault. I literally broke down in her office and confided in her, telling her everything. Now I see my doctor possibly once every 2 years, if that. She isn't my friend and I don't know her well enough to be that honest with her.

Your probably thinking...so what?

Personally I'm thinking group sex, right? Somebody caught something and they assumed, based on you being the skankiest of the group, that they caught it from you. Of course it doesn't really matter if my interpretation of your story is not in sync with the possible reality of it. Just that I believe it strong enough is all that matters.

Buffy completely breaks down after Tara tells her she's not come back wrong. It's a huge relief to her and an added burden. Its an emotional overload. She needs a release and Tara is the only person there to listen to.

Given that I think you're a mite skanky, I will attempt an explanation of Buffy's feeling of Tara with a possible scenario from your own life. You see when you go out at night, looking for the first man you can find to let him park his pork in your entranceway? That is looking for a stranger that you do not care what their judgement of you is. See when you let one of your friends park their pork, where they do know you, and can judge you, that is what Buffy did with Tara.

Buffy broke down with Tara because she needed understanding and reassurance from someone close to her.

 

[Edmund Blackadder]

I literally broke down in her office and confided in her, telling her everything. Now I see my doctor possibly once every 2 years, if that. She isn't my friend and I don't know her well enough to be that honest with her.

See, this part I missed cause of all the other yapping.
Erm had you said that you broke down and told your deepest secrets to the Garbage man or even a local Councillor I would have not thought much about commenting, but you have said Doctor.
Not any Doctor either, 'your' Doctor.
The Doctor is akin to a Priest in that by their profession alone they illicit trust and confidentiality. I actually believe your comment here hurts your argument more because of the analogy.
hehehe...i said anal🙂

No one said Tara was a complete outsider to the group, but she was a little bit an outsider

Exactly....no one is saying she was.
Tara was an outsider for most of season 4 that she was in. Season 5 up to Family she was a semi-outsider, but after Family she was integrated into the group and the affections of the group. By the time that Buffy 'spills the beans' she is a valued and loved part of the groups life.

 

[nerd4hire]

I always wondered about this one from the 'tell it like she sees it' Anya in Get it Done.

BUFFY
Well, from now on, I'm your leader as in "do what I say."

XANDER
Ja wohl! But let's not try to forget, we're also your friends.

ANYA
I'm not.

On Tara though, there's this from Villains -

BUFFY: We love you. And Tara. But we don't kill humans. It's not the way.