Buzzfeed's: If BtVS were on TV today

[Taake]

Buzzfeed modernized Buffy for us with this awesome list, lol
If "Buffy The Vampire Slayer" Were On TV Today

Here are some of them:


2. Cordy would be low-key Instagram famous.
4. Jonathan would have a brilliant but under-appreciated Twitter account.
5. Xander would try to become a Vine star.
6. He’d also spend a lot of time on Reddit, and his username would be NobodysButtMonkey.
9. Buffy would love to point out the inaccuracies in all the Marvel superhero movies.
10. But she’d be a huge Jessica Jones fan.
12. Willow would binge-watch every season of Orange Is the New Black.
14. Riley and the rest of The Initiative guys would have Arrow viewing parties.
18. The Scoobies would have to battle a Tinder demon at some point.
19. And when Buffy killed him, she’d say, “This is me swiping left.”
20. Spike would still secretly shop at Hot Topic all the time.
21. Buffy would catch him.
22. Spike would secretly see all the Nicholas Sparks movies.
23. Buffy would catch him.
24. Spike would have a DVD of The Notebook stashed away in his crypt.
25. Buffy would find it.
26. Dawn would be a huge One Direction fan.
27. And so would Spike, secretly.
28. Oz would have a lot of feelings about the ethical representation of werewolves in mainstream media.
29. But he’d still watch Teen Wolf every week.
30. “Once More, With Feeling” would include some sort of Hamilton reference.
32. Angel would have a man bun.
33. He’d get so fed up with not understanding everyone’s Twilight jokes that he’d read the first book.
34. He’d be Team Edward.
35. Giles would try to transition to using the internet instead of books for supernatural research.
36. He’d have a whole speech about the factual inaccuracies of Wikipedia.
37. There’d be an entire episode dedicated to him buying a laptop, and the laptop would end up being cursed by Ethan Rayne.
38. Buffy’s home Wi-Fi password would be “MrPointy.”
39. “If the apocalypse comes, text me.”


The idea of Angel with a man bun will haunt me.

 

[Athena]

26 - But haven't they split up now?! 😱

 

[Taake]

26 - But haven't they split up now?! 😱

Something for Dawn and Spike to bond over!

 

[Athena]

18 & 19 - genius! That's exactly the sort of thing nowadays Buffy would 'quip'!

 

[Skanky Vamp]

18. The Scoobies would have to battle a Tinder demon at some point.
19. And when Buffy killed him, she’d say, “This is me swiping left.”

 

[brinkster130]

I don't think Faith would tell people about her love of Blair Waldorf.

 

[GwenRaiden]

39. “If the apocalypse comes, text me.”

Who still texts these days, though.

 

[Skanky Vamp]

@Athena I prefer to do it slowly... take my time. Do it right. Otherwise I end up calling Snooki Shooki.
 
Well, I didnt count, just scrolled through all of the texts and estimated.. so you are correct, I don't count.

 

[Fuffy Baith]

30. “Once More, With Feeling” would include some sort of Hamilton reference

I don't get this. Hamilton?

2. Cordy would be low-key Instagram famous

Considering that CC posts like 1-5 times a day on Instagram, I totally think Cordy would be into it.

22. Spike would secretly see all the Nicholas Sparks movies.

Yes! That would be his new thing instead of daytime soaps. lol

33. He’d get so fed up with not understanding everyone’s Twilight jokes that he’d read the first boo

Yes! I can totally see Angel reading Twilight, and being offended by the portrayal of vampires. lol

39. “If the apocalypse comes, text me.”

That's the one that really would be true, cause no one has a beeper anymore. Teens are all about their phones and texting friends, or snapchat or whatever.

 

[Taake]

I don't get this. Hamilton?

It's a reference to the Hamilton musical (as in Alexander Hamilton) by Lin-Manuel Miranda 🙂 Hamilton (musical) - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia

 

[Fuffy Baith]

It's a reference to the Hamilton musical (as in Alexander Hamilton) by Lin-Manuel Miranda 🙂 Hamilton (musical) - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia

Thanks. I've not heard of that. Not sure why OMWF would have to have a reference to it. It didn't reference any other well known musicals.

 

[Taake]

Thanks. I've not heard of that. Not sure why OMWF would have to have a reference to it. It didn't reference any other well known musicals.

From what I've gathered Hamilton is right now a pretty big, popular deal and very fresh (as opposed to many other well known musicals). It even won a Grammy this year I think. So I do think it'd make sense for a present day OMWF to reference it, if only because it's so present the popular culture mindset. 🙂

 

[Fuffy Baith]

From what I've gathered Hamilton is right now a pretty big, popular deal and very fresh (as opposed to many other well known musicals). It even won a Grammy this year I think. So I do think it'd make sense for a present day OMWF to reference it, if only because it's so present the popular culture mindset. 🙂

Wow, I'm really out of the loop. Lol. I don't watch the Grammy's though. Who would make the reference? Spike, Xander, Buffy? Idk.

 

[Taake]

Wow, I'm really out of the loop. Lol. I don't watch the Grammy's though. Who would make the reference? Spike, Xander, Buffy? Idk.

I just know because I follow a lot of news outlets and most newscasters have raved about it, I've actually not heard one bad word said about it. Not sure if it's just hype or if it's really that good.

Willow maybe? Or Buffy, Buffy's pretty hip to the pop culture 😀 And Spike may very well have some musical loving tendencies 🙂

 

[Skanky Vamp]

I just know because I follow a lot of news outlets and most newscasters have raved about it, I've actually not heard one bad word said about it. Not sure if it's just hype or if it's really that good.

It's because its the first kind really, or at least that I am aware of. Not to mention it has all of the caucasian founding fathers as african americans.

 

[Nix]

Lmao they are funny 🙂 Thanks for posting 🙂

 

[Blaze]

I 100% want to see man bun Angel.

 

[Professor Walsh]

And if BtVS had aired today, clearly a lot of the American pop culture references would have passed right over my head. Just like in the old days.

 

[Blair]

I think Willow would be more into The L Word than Orange is the New Black.

I can totally see Dawn being a 1D and 5SOS fan!

Also think how much easier each apocalypse would be if everyone could text or call each other to warn/how to fight each demon.

And Lorne would rule Facebook with Events of different karaoke comps

 

[Ethan Reigns]

I think this question has come up recently, but here is a sample screenplay:



BUFFY THE VAMPIRE SLAYER 2016


Day. Int. School Library at Sunnydale High. Giles is absorbed in one of his ancient books when Jenny walks in.

Jenny: Call the troops, Giles, we have a new threat coming up. Just got the message from Kent.

Giles: Kent? Who's Kent?

Jenny It's not a who, it's a what. Kent State University is just southeast of the hellmouth in Cleveland. They have a demon monitoring group in their grad school. They passed us a warning.

Giles: Well, Buffy isn't here now...

Jenny: No problem. I can IM them.

Giles: IM?

Jenny: Instant message. Like email but immediate.

Jenny types in "GET YR BUTT TO THE LIBRARY STAT". A few minutes later, Buffy, Willow and Xander arrive, summoned by the IM.

Buffy: What's up?

Xander: Doc?

Willow: Something we need to do?

Jenny: I got a message from Kent...

Willow: Ooh, you subscribe to their hellmouth warning?

Jenny: Yes and that is what this is about. They captured a demon who said Sunnydale was going to be hit by a Kantovin demon.

Giles: I think I have heard the name. Let me consult my books...

Willow: No need, there's an app for that.

Willow takes out her phone and flicks the surface a few times and taps the screen.

Willow: OK, got it. Ooh, looks like a big one. Ugly. With tentacles.

Giles: We should research this. I think we have something that will tell us what the vulnerabilities are and we should be able to find it in a couple of hours.

Jenny pulls out her own phone.

Jenny: OK Willow, caught up with you here and I have an advantage. I'm a gold level subscriber. I get all the notes.

Willow: You're a subscriber? Nice!

Jenny: Ten bucks a year. Pays for itself with the first use.

Xander: So what do we have to do?

Jenny: Uh, let's see. Not vulnerable to drowning, does not need air, can be pierced with a spear or knife with no effect because the body structures just shift aside and let the blade go through. Not susceptible to bullets but a rocket or grenade might knock it out. Ah, here it is, susceptible to fire. OK Buffy, you're going to lead this expedition, how do you want to handle it?

Buffy: Flash mob. Flammables required. OK Xander, we need a list of people with good throwing arms.

Xander: They would be jocks. And they don't tend to talk to me.

Willow: OK, I can hack student records for a list of all athletes in Sunnydale and a few other schools and anyone else who can help.

Giles: Wait a minute, what are you trying to do here?

Jenny: The guide from Kent says they like to hang around flat grassy areas, so the park near the school is probably where it will appear.

Willow: Just sent the message out for a flash mob at the park and to bring gasoline, alcohol, any liquid that burns in glass bottles.

Buffy: I can launch flaming arrows.

Jenny: Good. We have a plan.

Giles: Wonderful. What uh, is this plan?

Jenny: You'll see.

Ext. Night. The large park near Sunnydale High. A crowd of about 100 people have shown up along with Jenny, Giles, Buffy, Willow and Xander. There is a rumbling sound and the grass bursts up to make a ten foot diameter mound. The Kantovin demon steps out of the hole with its tentacles waving around.

Xander: OK, Buffy, do the honours.

Buffy: Everyone, throw your gas and alcohol at the demon.

The crowd tosses fuel at it. The containers shatter and spray fuel all over the demon. Buffy brings out a bow and arrow and lights the end of the arrow. Her shot catches in the body of the demon and the fire spreads. The demon starts to roll on the ground as it burns. It puts out about half of the fire, but can't do any better than that.

Xander (yells to the crowd): Second volley!

From high overhead, a vodka bottle spins slowly as it drops on the demon and shatters. The flames now envelop the demon, who burns furiously and finally dissipates into powder.

Giles: What was that last stuff that finished the demon off?

Xander: Let's just call it school supplies.