Change

K

kittenpoker

Raising penguins in Guam
Joined
Apr 17, 2011
Messages
1,949
Age
50
Location
Boston, MA
Sineya
Hey everyone,

So, I was thinking. I believe it's possible in life to change, but so far, for me, it's more of a (seemingly endless) process of transitioning.... changing....

But, I'm wondering with you, if you look back on your life, and see yourself as you were however long ago, compared to now, would you say you changed in any fundamental way.

Can you honestly say, I used to be ____ but now I'm ____?

If so, please share.

(if you want, of course)
 
I don't think I've really changed personality or character wise. I've definitely experienced things that have had an effect on how cautious to be (or in some cases more of a risk taker) but I really feel like the same person I was at sixteen. I mean sometimes I feel more apathetic and less hopeful than I was when I was younger, but then my hope and zest for life always spring back. It just kind of depends what's going on in my life.
 
K
kittenpoker
yeah, I don't think zest for life can be maintained at a constant level...it rises and falls.
Other than very small things I am the same way more of in a constant state of flux. I am in general more apathetic though similar to caritas.

I can honestly say I used dream big and feel confident i would achieve those dreams, now i dream big and feel confident I won't achieve those dreams.

Sorry to be a downer.
 
K
kittenpoker
at least you're still dreaming. :-)
Lurconis said:
Other than very small things I am the same way more of in a constant state of flux. I am in general more apathetic though similar to caritas.

I can honestly say I used dream big and feel confident i would achieve those dreams, now i dream big and feel confident I won't achieve those dreams.

Sorry to be a downer.
Click to expand...

Yeah, it's kind of like that line Joss wrote in the Astonishing X-Men where it's like

" You keep waiting for the dust to settle and then you realize this is it; the dust is your life going on. If happy comes along -- that weird unbearable delight that's actually happy -- I think you have to grab it while you can. You take what you can get, 'cause it's here, and then... gone. " That's kind of how I feel....I keep waiting to be happy and have all my family and friends close by, but people keep moving away because of the economy, or something like health or divorce tears them apart and I just have to accept that that's the way life goes and it's never going to be perfect.

That's what I mean when I say I've become more apathetic...if I don't count on it, it doesn't hurt so much when it doesn't happen. I found a Buddhist quote that kind of sums up how I try to be "All conditioned things are impermanent. When one sees this in wisdom, then he becomes dispassionate towards the painful. This is the path to purity."

Woah, sorry. Didn't mean to get all existential there 😱
 
I've been striving to be a better person all my life, and I truly believe I've succeeded in so many ways.

I'm much more compassionate now. I understand when people are having a bad day, and that people have faults but shouldn't be disliked just because they have faults.

I've learned that people with disabilities are people and deserve the same respect as other people.

I've learned to take almost nothing personally.

I've learned to be happy. Pretty much on a constant basis.

I've learned to see things from the other person's perspective.

There are more but those are the main ones right now. Actually, I probably had the seeds of all of these all along, but I've refined them to the point where I'm proud of these traits.
 
I've changed a lot. A lot of it is based on what I read and watch actually.

I used to be a rather selfish pessimist. I was that way for valid reasons. But I can't see myself being that way ever again.

For the past couple years I've really focused on becoming more compassionate and to really SEE the world that we live in. To see that each and every person is complicated and intense, in their own worlds.

I try hard to be forgiving as well. I struggle with this sometimes, with certain situations. Particularly when someone has hurt a member of my family.

But yeah, I would go as far as to say that I even think differently than I used to when I was younger. The way I view the world is different. The things that I think and the way I react to things is different.

I try very hard to consider all the angles and to be a good and happy person. I think generally I succeed. I think that really, the root of happiness is to be a good person. If I am happy with myself then I find it much easier to be happy in general.

So yeah, long strange story short . . . I used to be a selfish jerk-face and grew up to be a somewhat good, compassionate and happy person. And I'm still growing and changing, but hopefully in a good direction.
 
I don't think I've changed much. I think about the future a lot more than I used to. I take life a little bit more seriously. I don't party quite as hard. I think I have more confidence. I don't believe we really change all that much to be honest.
 
Yes. Few years back, when I started High School I was this shallow girl who had no real opinion and just wanted to fit in. Soon, I realized none of that matters, because I was sick with myself, hating people just because others hated them.. I guess I grew up.
 
I used to be really really shy, couldn't talk to strangers or raise my hand in class. I think the change came from both places - acting class, and my job as cheese seller at the supermarket, where I had to talk to people all the time. I got more confident, much more, I can stand my own now, and now I talk too much. Even to people I just met.
 
I haven't really changed that much. I'm a little nicer, I suppose...

and a lot weirder... >😀
 
Last edited:
Every time I think I have made a change, one so permanent that I simply could never go back to where I was, life happens and I am inevitably back at where I started. So, I've come to realise that fundamental, irreversible change doesn't actually exist. You simply learn how to be a better at being you.
 
L
Lindsey McDonald
[No message]
I used to think I was not worth loving. Now I love myself more than anything in the world.

I used to think geeky/nerdy things were stupid. Now I'm planning my trip to Dragon Con next month.

I used to be a pessimist. Now I'm an optimist.

I used to think my dreams were stupid, now I think my dreams are the most important things I have.
 
Taake
Taake
good changes! :)
I've changed a hell of a lot this year since I started uni. I'm more independent and self sufficient and have been (very) slowly increasing my confidence levels over the summer. I also speak my mind a lot more now which is good.

However, I used to be really confident an then changed into a cripplingly shy mute, so change hasn't always been an easy thing for me.
 
I call who I used to be my "past lives" because when I look back on them, they feel like a lifetime ago.

When I was growing up, I was super popular. I was that one girl everyone wanted to be, but it was like Cordelia implied. I didn't really have any REAL friends. Just a lot of people around me that wanted me to like them. So I got some real friends. I walked away from the popularity.

Then, after my Papal died, I got really depressed, and very angry. I bottled that up, and when I was a teenager, it exploded. I was SO temperamental. I was bitter, extremely cynical, and angry at everything and everyone. I've since changed.

Now, I'm a lot more peaceful. I've learned where to hold my tongue, and when to speak up. I've learned that anger is not productive, and worked through a lot of my issues. I've grown up a lot in the last few years. I can look at who I was at 19 and know that at 23 I'm a completely different person, for the most part. I think the core of who you are is always the same, but different aspects of your personality remain the same.

So yes, I can confidently I used to be different than I am now. But I like this life, this version of me, much better.
 
I'm definitely much more comfortable by myself nowadays. During my teenage years, I was with somebody constantly, and never really spent any time just by myself. Nowadays I love it - I'm quite happy to go shopping in town by myself, which at one point seemed like the most awful thing on the planet.
 
In the last few months I've had to change totally, and take more responsibility for myself.

3 months ago, I felt ill, always looked pretty drained, then now it turns out I have diabetes I've had to have a radical lifestyle change, no more alcohol, and actually looking after myself, which at 20, for me, was pretty huge.

I used to go out 5 nights a week and get p****d, not really caring about the consequences, and despite always being slim, I used to eat whatever I want, whenever I wanted. Not anymore!

Although it was awful at the time, it's definitely had some upsides to it, I eat much more healthily now and don't drink nearly as much, so change for me, has been good 🙂
 
People are supposed to grow and change in their lives. If you're not always changing and growing as a person, you're doing something wrong with your life.
 
kittenpoker said:
Hey everyone,

So, I was thinking. I believe it's possible in life to change, but so far, for me, it's more of a (seemingly endless) process of transitioning.... changing....

But, I'm wondering with you, if you look back on your life, and see yourself as you were however long ago, compared to now, would you say you changed in any fundamental way.

Can you honestly say, I used to be ____ but now I'm ____?

If so, please share.

(if you want, of course)
Click to expand...
I think I've changed a lot since I was younger. I've become more tolerant and understanding. I used to hold people to a pretty high standard, and as a result was always getting hurt by people I'd felt had "let me down." I've learned that people are fundamentally flawed and have accepted that.

I'm probably more careful and cynical than I used to be, which is not something I am proud of. I've always admired brave people. I am not brave, lol.
 
HisMrs said:
People are supposed to grow and change in their lives. If you're not always changing and growing as a person, you're doing something wrong with your life.
Click to expand...

Ok, I'm at work so this will be short, but I wanted to quickly respond to this. I read this and my feelings got hurt. Which shows exactly what I was trying to say in the original post here. Fundamentally, at my core, I am overly emotional, hyper sensitive and self centered. I've been working on changing these things my whole life. I've been trying to get a thicker skin, to toughen up and to not take things personally. For me, the path has been 2 steps forward, 1 step back, 1 step forward, 2 steps back, and often a few steps to the side...sometimes there are circles...

What I'm trying to say is that my immediate emotional reaction to this (this is about me. This person doesn't like me. There must be something wrong with me) is the same at 35 as it would have been at 15... Intellectually I can reason that your post probably has nothing to do with me and that I shouldn't take it personally... And yet...

Hence my question to others about change.

Does that make sense. If not I can elaborate when I get home.
 
You must log in or register to reply here.
Back
Top Bottom