Chapter 9: Missing Toys

[Kean]

::Buffy's dreams were divided into three seperate categories...freaky, wicked freaky and oh my God we're all going to die. It was for this reason that she would usually try to be as exhausted as possible before falling asleep...thus avoiding wicked-freaky-end-of-the-world dream-mares. Unfortunately for Buffy that system wasn't exactly fool proof and tonight happened to be one of those nights::

:: She knew it was a dream from the get go. Angel singing show tunes and busting out the Macerena to a rapt demon audience was the give away. She couldn't decide if it was the greatest image she had ever borne witness to or the most terrifying::

:: Buffy edged her way closer to the stage but it kept getting further and further away. She called out to Angel but his name would just reverbate around the room, echoing into an empty silence and seemingly swallowing the room whole. Buffy looked around for help but suddenly found herself in an old playground in Sunnydale. Well this is very wrong. The sun shun almost unbearably while Willow and Xander sat in a sand pit. Why is this so familiar?. They were building sand castles but everytime one was completed they would raze it back down to it's grainy depths::

It was after another brutal demolition that Xander pulled his hand away from the sand with a hiss.

"Ouch"

Buffy rushed to Xander's side to inspect his wound. Not that I would be much help anyway, I'm not exactly Meredith Grey here. He had nipped his thumb, a minor cut, yet there was blood smearing both his hands. Buffy looked to Willow for some sort of explanation.

Buffy: "He stole my Barbie"

Buffy looked a Willow slightly baffled and then returned her attention to Xander. He looked utterly dejected.

Buffy: " I'm a dope"

Buffy was about to respond but Xander cut her off.

Buffy: " She's in the sand. That's where I left her. I was looking for her, but I got cut. I'm not supposed to look,you shouldn't be careless with glass. You showed me that"

::If Buffy was baffled before she was totally lost now. Hand still painted red, Xander dove back into the sand pit. Buffy tried to stop him but found herself desperately plunged into Xander's hopeless search. The longer she spent digging the colder she became. The sand turned damp and chilling. She could remember the sensation from somewhere but couldn't quite recall where. And then she knew. Her grave. As soon as the thought entered her head her newly recompossed hand shot through the soil to meet her and then the slayer woke::

~~~~~~~~~~~~~​

Buffy sat bolt up in her bed. He breathing was ragged and her body glazed over in a frozen sweat.

Jeeze Lousie

Buffy was sure her post resurrection dreams were behind her. While they had plagued her for months after her return to earth she hadn't had a single one in nearly two years.

I think I'll file that one under wicked freaky.

::She was still trying to regain her composure when she heard screams coming from outside. She quickly rose from bed and darted to her window. Bellow her she could see Willow, Xander and her fellow slayers taking on some nastly looking foliage::

Now there's something you don't see everyday...unless of course you're me.

:: Grabing the sword she keeps beside her dresser, Now how many girls can say that?, Buffy weighed up her options. Leap out the window in a waaaay over the top Indiana Jones type entrance or run down the stairs?::

It took her a half a millisecond to decide.

Indy it is.

::As luck would have it some of the ropes used to teach the girls the importance of proper breaking and entering etiquette were still attached to the walls. That helps a bunch let me tell you. Buffy took hold of said rope and tested it to make sure it would hold her, satisfied with it she hopped up on the sill and manouvered herself into position. A second later she was air borne. As she swung down she managed to take the head of some over-grown twig while she was at it. She hit the ground and rolled. When she was back on solid footing she found herself at the feet or roots, it's hard to tell, of a particularly nasty monster weed. She rose to her full height like the warrior she was. She may have been completely dwarfed by the evil shrub but it still stood back from her. She couldn't hide the smirk that made its way across her lips::

Shrub Monster: " Since I'm going with the Tarzan theme here let me put it to you real simple. Me Buffy. You dead."

And with that she swung into action, quietly wondering why she never thought of a career as a bushwhacker before.

 

[Mesektet Ra]

Spike folded his arms, watching the sunlight rise across the Scottish horizon. Before the sunlight was able to spill through the window, therefore making his injuries worse, he pulled the heavy velvet curtains over the windows.

He hadn't been in Scotland in, well...a lifetime. 1932. Drusilla. We found a homeless family...

He shivered. He still wore his duster - mainly because taking it off made his skin creak and crack like the leather of the jacket itself. Moving too much had not become much of an option as of late.

He sat on the end of his bed, arms still folded, face pensive. Images of the last battle with Indra flashed across his mind like a brand. Bloody hell, he thought acidly. Seems I've caught myself a case of the Peaches Complex. I should just off myself.

He grunted, laying back on his bed, letting his arms gently unfold as to not pull at his burns and healing sores. He closed his eyes, trying to will away the thoughts in his head. What the hell could he do about it at this point, anyway? He was a mess of raw pink skin, half his body still charred and his wounds closing. He wouldn't be any sodding help to anyone right now, not in the state he's in.

His eyes flickered open at the thought. That...now that pissed him off. He might've been a right prat in taking the sword from Faith's gut back there, but he wasn't a moron. And he wasn't sodding useless.

Stewing in his anger, his mind racing, he didn't heed the gentle knock on his door. The knock got a bit louder, and louder, until someone was damn near pounding his door off the hinges.

"WHAT?!" Spike barked, shooting up from the bed. He winced as the movement pulled on his injuries. "Can't a bloody creature of the night sleep in peace?!"

The door opened a crack, and all Spike saw was black. Black, and one blue eye. The smell of cigarette smoke.

"Oh, balls," he murmured. He flopped back down on his bed. "To what do I owe this lovely visit?"

Raven opened the door the rest of the way, a crooked smile fixed on her full lips. "Skipped out of training," she said, shrugging. "And brought you a present."

She stepped inside, closing the door. From behind her back she held a six pack of beer and the bottle of Jack Daniels Spike had been drinking from earlier. She held them in both hands, weighing them back and forth. "Beer or the real shit? I'd prefer the Jack, if you're up for sharing." She shook her head, making a disgusted face. "Beer tastes like piss."

Spike glanced sidelong at her from his position on the bed. Part of him was annoyed to death of this idiot bint following him everywhere. But...she had a heart. And alcohol. What was wrong with that?

Best to be safe, though. He sat up, making damn sure the pain didn't show on his face. "You should be down with the other Mini-Me's," he bit off, glaring at her. "Buffy'll-"

Raven rolled her eyes. "Have your balls on a platter, yea yea okay cool. I sicked out. Willow prolly knew it was bull, but hey. Thought I'd check on my fav vamp." She held out the alcohol in both of her hands, proffering it to him. "And I think you need some of this."

Spike rolled his eyes, settling back a bit on the bed. She was right. He hadn't really had the chance to right and proper sloshed since the episode with Indra. He stared at her for a minute.

His hand shot out like lightning. "Beer," he snapped. Raven smiled a wicked grin and handed him the beer. "Where's your other half?"

Raven moved towards him, uncapping the Jack and taking a swig as she settled down next to him on the bed, crossing her legs. "Is? Training. She wanted me to come with, but I told her what the what was. She didn't give a shit." She shrugged. "She knows."

She looked sidelong at Spike for a moment. "I'm not gonna try and get you to talk, y'know. That's your whole screwed up problem. Thought, maybe, you could use some company." She shrugged again, taking another swig. Spike cracked open one of the beers and chugged half of it down in one swig. She doth protest too much, Spike thought, narrowing his eyes at her. Of all people, Raven-bloody-Spencer. Fantastic.

 

[palabravampiress]

Xander was hacking bravely away at both an evil plant and his hangover when Buffy swooped down on a rope. She was wearing frilly pink pajamas with some under eye accent bags, sure, but she still made the grand rope entrance look easy.

Frustrated, Xander rolled his eye and ducked out of the way of a leaf with serrated edges of doom. It clipped his biceps, sure, but it wasn’t like he used those very often. So far so good…

At least I’ve avoided any major head konkage.

Thrusting out his uninjured arm, he blocked a flying root with a good, solid punch.

Knock on wood.

Buffy: “Nice entrance, lingerie girl. I guess that makes me Jane.”

Of course, he huffed and puffed a little between words. See, this was how he knew he wasn’t a super hero: the non-super types of heroes never get to swing in on ropes. Plus, they breathed heavy during fights, got the funny syphilis, and called the bad guys “Master.” He was like Little John to Robin Hood, Chewbacca to Han Solo, or Gabrielle to Xena.

Xander swung and chopped off a bit of root, raising a brow thoughtfully at Buffy when it came to that last simile. Now there was some subtexty goodness.

Before he could follow that thought to its logical, not very feminist conclusion, another razor sharp leaf edge came hurtling through the air. This one glanced off of Xander’s calf, drawing blood through his last pair of cargo pants.

Xander: “Ow! That’s it! I’m turning you into a toilet bowl seat, buddy!”

Or, to be more accurate, Buffy was turning the thing into a pile of useless sawdust.

Xander stepped back and sighed. It was okay. Buffy could steal all the action. No big. He’d just get his revenge later, in the wood shop… assuming medieval castles had wood shops. He still wasn’t clear on the whole lay of the land thing.


Buffy: “Umm… not to be cavalier about the mortal danger or anything, but do you mind maybe cutting along the grain? I’ll build you a neat new weapons chest.”

 

[Lyri]

::Gwen watched from her balcony as the demons Willow had conjured took on a mind of their own.::

"Oookay, something tells me things have taken a very wrong turn."

::She ducked suddenly as a pick pyjama clad female swung pver her head from one of the windows above. It was only when said female landed on the grass next to Xander that Gwen recognized Buffy.::

"Well, if all the big guns are playing..."

::Gwen dropped her coffee mug, ignoring the crash it made on the tiled floor, and vaulted effortlessly over the railing, and sprinted towards the fight. She watched in shocked confusion as the girls, Buffy, Willow and Xander defended themselves against the demons of the witches creation, apparently all three of the big wigs deciding the walking tree proposed the biggest threat right now. Nodding once, Gwen turned her attention towards the water demon, which was still using its own body mass to drown the Slayers. Gwen hiked her power up, and threw her hands towards the water demon...

::And stopped.

Water conducts electricity. I'll kill them all.

::Gwen stood helpless and watched as Isabel choked on the grass, as another girl's lifeless body fell from the demon's grasp. More Slayers rushed to tackle the water demon, knowing they risked their lives, yet Gwen stood still.

::Looking over her shoulder, she frowned at Buffy, Willow and Xander, still attacking the tree monster.::

"Devide and conqure, Gwen."

:: Decision made, Gwen was finally able to make her feet move. She raced across the grass to the three seasoned fighters, and took hold of Buffy's shoulder, spinning the Slayer around to face her. She pointed at the other demon.::

Buffy: "You take that one. Unless you find a way to get all the girls to leave it alone, I'm pretty much out of that fight. Not real sure I could kill it anyway, never tried to electrify water before. I'll stick with Xander. We can deal with Ed Wood, here."

::Without saying another word, Gwen turned top face the tree, walking up to stand next to Xander.::

Xander: Whatdaya say we turn this thing into a walking bonfire?"

 

[Mesektet Ra]

Spike rolled his eyes, for perhaps the hundredth time since Raven has taken up residence in his room. She was talking. Too much. As usual.

He took another gulp of his beer, his second to last. He gazed down at the remaining beer. It was lonely. It was a sad, sad, lonely beer.

He sighed and laid on his back. "That's great, love. What on earth makes you think I give a damn?" He bit, taking another chug of his beer. He crumpled the empty can in his hand without even thinking about it and tossed across the room, where it landed with a metallic clink amidst the other five empty cans.

Raven narrowed her eyes. "Shut up, Blondie," she said. "The TV here is worse than in England. It's like that episode of Family Guy...con...den...sa...tion...," She laughed a bit to herself. Bint sure does know how to amuse herself and no one else,, Spike thought, lolling his eyes to one side to regard her.

A scream and a crash outside made Spike bolt upright, pulling at his wounds. He hissed and grabbed at his shoulder. Raven's head whipped toward the window. "What the hell-?"

Raven jumped up and ran towards the window, pulling the curtain open enough to see outside. "Oh, shit!" She yelped. She turned to Spike. "Tree monsters. It's gonna be something Willow did that got screwed in a major way. I gotta go help Is." She was about to pulled open the curtains with a flourish, but stopped herself. "You might wanna duck."

Spike grunted and rolled off one side of the bed, hiding himself from the shards of sunlight as Raven tossed the curtains open and leapt through the open window. Spike closed his eyes and sighed. "Bloody hell," he murmured. "Now I can't move."

 

[Kean]

:😛j's and fighting Tree Monsters was not a good combination. Buffy had splinters everywhere and her Tigger jammies had dozens of tiny little gashes all over.::

On the upside the aftermath of battle would require shooping!

Buffy: "You take that one. Unless you find a way to get all the girls to leave it alone, I'm pretty much out of that fight. Not real sure I coulOn the upside the aftermath of battle would require shooping!
d kill it anyway, never tried to electrify water before. I'll stick with Xander. We can deal with Ed Wood, here."

::Buffy paused for a second and nodded at Gwen::

Gwen: "It's proabaly for the best anyway...Xander is getting into a tizzy cuz I keep kill all his timber. It's all yours''

::With that Buffy turned and took in the Water Demon rinsing the Slayer Army out::

The ability to swim should you really come with slayer powers.

Slayers: '' LADIES!!! At the count of three I want you all to run, swim , float...whatever, to the moat and jump over to the other side"

" ONE...TWO...THREE!!!"

::Buffy's voice carried over the castle's lawns. Immediately she saw the girls make their way to the moat that encircled the castle. Just as she thought it would the monster followed suit...right into the moat.::

:: The water monster seemed under control for now and so Buffy instructed the girls to head back down the lawn to help take care of the evil foliage::