I totally agree with you about bring your own experiences to the situation in the show. Whedon even encourages that and I try to with most episodes. I guess for me if I was really trying to convince myself that what someone said was wrong about my relationship with my boyfriend or now girlfriend, I would be AS intimate or MORE intimate with them as I was before the person said, if that makes sense. I would want to prove to myself and to them, that nothing was wrong and nothing was going to happen. Doing that would give me peace of mind and I would be able to ignore the nagging for awhile, you know what I mean? That is how I took Angel and Buffy's interaction, but as you said not everyone has that experience, so to each her own in this case 😀.