Combating your Inner Demon

[jesterjay]

So I'm angry. I'm raging hot, seeing red mad.

Here's the Scoop. I work in an office with all women. I live with two roommates, both two women (neither of which I'm involved with). I think about women all the time (because I'm a guy), and lately, I've been snapping a lot.

I get angry at all the double standards, I get furious that I can't speak my mind without being attacked, and I'm absolutely 100% livid that I'm not being respected as a person. Not as a man, but as a person.

So what do I do? I clam up. If you don't have something nice to say, you might as well say nothing at all. But there's another double standard isn't there? If a guy doesn't want to discuss what's bothering him, he's in a "huff" or having a tantrum. Women on the other hand can be angry. So this just makes me angry, this word...huffy. I'm not being huffy, I'm just trying to a) get my work done, or b) be left alone. If a woman had done that, she'd get her space...but I get a crowded effort of "come on" and "talk about it." Another guy would leave you be, just say he's having a rough day, leave him alone. But that's not the nature of my burden.

Anyways, I'm not trying to put down women here...I'm really not - I'm sorry if it's coming out that way. Anyways, I finally lost it yesterday. Now, I've addressed many many times with both my roommates and my co-workers that I am not feeling respected. I'm feeling the double standards, and if I'm just being quiet it's because I don't feel like getting berated for the rip in my shorts, or that I found Star Trek amazing.

My question is...how do you combat your inner "Hulk?" When the rage builds, what do you normally do? And what do you do to keep your cool?

Guys and Girls, bring on your answers.

 

[Sweetescape]

My question is...how do you combat your inner "Hulk?" When the rage builds, what do you normally do? And what do you do to keep your cool?

Guys and Girls, bring on your answers.

What do i do to combat my inner hulk?-Nothing I'm really bad at not being angry and controlling it. lol

When the rage builds,what do you normal do?-snap at people,scream at people,have arguments,fights,make life as difficult for everyone around me. I've chased my brother with a knife before and thrown a chair at him.

What do you do to keep your cool?-I think it obvious I don't. Although sometimes I go sit upstairs and glare around my room.

 

[jesterjay]

Very helpful. I'll just kill everyone with a knife to make my problem go away - sounds like a plan. I love you sweetescape 😉

 

[Washburne]

Unless it's bitching to someone about what bugs me (you got to have people that can take that) I usually turn to music. Either listen to angry music very loud for a long time (happened more in younger years) or calm music and sitting comfortble or lying down (preferably in the dark) and just try to relax. Not easy if one is mad but it has worked sometimes. Or just put on music and go for a walk (I guess running can be good to. Or maybe work out in any way. Go to the gym might be a good idea).

What do I do if I'm in a group of people? Try to walk away but if that's impossible I'll probably end up screaming one way or another. But that's not controlling it. Try to think of something else I guess, but how easy is that?

 

[The_Final_Cylon]

What do i do to combat my inner hulk? Smoke, I smoke A LOT!

When the rage builds,what do you normal do? Scream, shout, rant, drink...smoke some more, possibly self-harm.

What do you do to keep your cool? Usually smoke some more and listen to music that suits my mood (usually the Manic Street Preachers)

I don't think what I do is very helpful...unless you're a smoker lol.

 

[Fusions2]

Have you ever thought about buying something like a stress ball to squeeze on really hard when you feel really angry?

I find those things work really well and can combat taking out the anger without actually hurting anything or anyone or saying something you might regret later on?

 

[definition of insane]

I agree with Kin on the music thing. Except I would say listen to something you love that is really, really silly because it there's nothing like a funny song that you love to make you forget you were angry.

When I'm angry at something...I bitch. I know I shouldn't but I can't help it, but it's better out than in. You can usually tell when I'm angry at something because my blog will have way more swearing in it than a normal day. Unless I'm angry at my dad (which used to happen a lot), I'll just scream and yell and punch things until I cry...my dad's the only one that ever manages to get me that angry.

 

[jesterjay]

I like the music angle. I can easily shut pop in my iPod and tune out all the crap that goes on in the office (it's open space which doesn't help).

I'm not very articulate when I'm angry...and girls usually are - so I usually just keep it in to myself rather than bitching at them. With that said, bitching comes later at the bar.

I also think that being around guys more often would probably help the cause - last night I had a boys night and I was exhuasted, but less tense when I got home.

 

[definition of insane]

I will say it is 100 times easier to work in an environment with more guys than gals. I'm not saying you should go find a new job where that would be the case, but I totally feel your pain on that one. I used to work in construction site offices...where there are way more men, and when they get angry, they yell and slam doors and then 5 minutes later they move on.

Girls in offices that I've worked in will niggle and bitch about what they're pissed about until they're pissed about something else. And the gossip and the backstabbing and the general pickiness over the goings on. I'm not proud to admit it, but I get suckered into as well...and will bitch and gossip with them all.

Just saying is all. Don't worry, it's not just you. 🙂

 

[jesterjay]

Example: I'm excited about Star Trek. So when people come into the room, I say when addressed "Dude, go see Star Trek"

Well after two times hearing "dude, go see Star Trek" I'm officially annoying and irritating.

But I have to over hear the constant conspiracies, gossip, bitching about women I don't even know, and that only they know...all of the time. over and over and over and over... it's disgusting to be honest. It's not right to be talking that much stuff about someone who doesn't know you're doing it without trying to resolve the situation. Agh! Anyways again, that's what this is - trying to find the resolve.