Confession.

[Xin Rong]

Eight or nine years ago I discovered Buffy-Boards and became a member, after a few months I got into an argument with some of the boards mods and was very abusive, and massively out of order. Therefore I was banned from the Buffy-Boards, a few months later I came back on the boards, using my sisters name. It has now been eight years and I thought it was time I owned up to my mistakes. I was a tool who deserved banning from the boards, I would like to apologise to those I offended back then, and also would like to apologise to all other members on these boards that I have decieved over the past eight years. I was an idiot and am a different person now than I was at sixteen, hope everyone can understand and forgive me, as I am genuinely sorry.

 

[Taake]

Well I think it is good that you aired this out and that you owned up to your own mistakes, it takes a lot of heart to do that.

🙂

 

[Enemies]

Thank you for you apology it takes a lot of guts to admit to a mistake.

 

[Xin Rong]

I appreciate the comments, but to be honest I am not wholly worthy of them... I was a massive douche and it did take me eight years to come clean... although as I said I do appreciate people being forgiving 🙂

 

[Summerlilly]

Hey, all that matters now is that your back and I'm sure will enjoy BB in a whole new way. Everyone deserves a second chance! 🙂

 

[WileyDairyGnome]

Welcome back to the boards. Everyone makes mistakes, and I'm sure we can all look back at our younger selves and regret things we wish we didn't do. It was really great of you to own up to your mistakes, something many people are unable to do. 🙂

 

[Willow My Love]

I'm sorry. I'm going to put the opinion up that banned members are supposed to be banned. They're not supposed to jump on their sister's name to continue posting, even if it is to apologize. If Darla says it's okay, maybe it's fine for you to come back. But as I understand from your post, you were banned, but continued to post anyway, which is very much against the rules here.

It's a nice sentiment, but I think it's wrong. Yes, people deserve a second chance, but you've been on the boards still for eight years. What was the purpose in banning if you're just going to come right back and continue to post?

I don't mean to be rude. I just think it's unfair to allow banned members to continue to post simply because they're sorry for how they acted.

 

[InsaneMystic]

[MENTION=10498]Willow My Love[/MENTION]... I basically get the impression from XR's posts saying "if you want to ban me for it now, I fully understand and won't raise a fuss about it cause I deserve it". Which does take a lot of guts to clean with and own up to, especially after eight years of deception. Still, I agree with everything you said in your post. 🙂

 

[Ripper666]

Ok I see what you mean [MENTION=10498]Willow My Love[/MENTION]. Banned members should not overplay the banning by getting a new name.
But on the other hand we have to see that [MENTION=5421]Xin Rong[/MENTION] was a silent member for YEARS!!! That's quite impressing. And he never gone offensive again. This fact shows me that he is really sorry. And that he really loves BB. I think so loyal members who just want to be part of the BB fangroup should get a second chance. Xin Rong could keep his past silent and that would have been it. But he found the courage to open and say the truth. And that's why he has a sort of respect from me.

But I have to admit that if you make the mistake again, we will judge you very hard Xin and then a third comeback won't be very welcome!

Xin, you get my respect because you keept silent for so long. That shows me that you are really sorry because you had no other reason to say the truth. Welcome back.
And to all others: We talked right here more than just once about forgiving. For example when Buffy forgave Faith and Spike. And I think now it's the time to to it "Buffy-like"! Forgive Xin and show him that he's still welcome and that everyone deserves a new chance.

 

[Harley]

I'm sorry. I'm going to put the opinion up that banned members are supposed to be banned. They're not supposed to jump on their sister's name to continue posting, even if it is to apologize. If Darla says it's okay, maybe it's fine for you to come back. But as I understand from your post, you were banned, but continued to post anyway, which is very much against the rules here.

It's a nice sentiment, but I think it's wrong. Yes, people deserve a second chance, but you've been on the boards still for eight years. What was the purpose in banning if you're just going to come right back and continue to post?

I don't mean to be rude. I just think it's unfair to allow banned members to continue to post simply because they're sorry for how they acted.

Maybe I misunderstand but from what I got, he isn't on his sister's name now. He's on his. He got on his sister's name back then. Also, not all bans are "forever" bans. Some are temporary.

 

[sisterofmercy]

Welcome back, I think it's good to just move on from all that drama and make this stay more fruitful.

 

[Taake]

It's a nice sentiment, but I think it's wrong. Yes, people deserve a second chance, but you've been on the boards still for eight years. What was the purpose in banning if you're just going to come right back and continue to post?

I don't mean to be rude. I just think it's unfair to allow banned members to continue to post simply because they're sorry for how they acted.

I agree with you, cause essentially if you're banned.... well you're banned and it's for a reason. And circumventing that is quite disrespectful 🙂

What I do appreciate is owning up to what one has done and apologizing to the boards as whole, publicly acknowledging that they were wrong and most importantly the people who were ill-treated. All I can assume is that they're allowed back for a good reason and that they're sincere.

 

[Tome]

Welcome back Xin Rong! 😀 Enjoy your stay with us!

 

[david4wt]

I have no idea what you're talking about, but it takes time and guts to grow and mature.
And I don't think it should be a discussion among us regular users if he should or should not be back on the boards.

 

[Buffy Summers]

Maybe I misunderstand but from what I got, he isn't on his sister's name now. He's on his. He got on his sister's name back then.

No, this is the account he's been using pretending to be female for the past 8 years. He wanted to stop having to pretend to be a girl and so came forward to me about it. (One of) His previous username was faith/willowfan.

This was a difficult decision for us to make, and to be honest not all of us were in agreement about how this should be handled. However, looking back at what occurred

(Basically, faith/willowfan was upset about losing karma via a "points" system we used to have where you could "steal" points from others but there was a chance it would take them from your account instead. That happened to f/w and he was demanding the points back, which we refused. He then got Faith on MSN and called her a nasty word repeatedly.)

and the length of time that had passed, how others would feel were he banned at this point, the fact that we have had zero problem with him since, that it deserved more consideration. In the end, because Faith was the wronged party, we left the decision up to her and she decided that a public apology was what was required for him to be allowed to stay. We agreed that punishing someone for being honest wasn't something we wanted to do.

Should anything out of order happen with him again, Xin Rong is aware that he will be banned permanently and not given any second chances.

---------- Post added at 03:22 PM ---------- Previous post was at 03:21 PM ----------

And I don't think it should be a discussion among us regular users if he should or should not be back on the boards.

Part of owning up to this is facing how his fellow members feel about what he did. So people should feel free to say how they feel. The decision as to whether he stays or goes has been made, but people are welcome to speak up as to their feelings.

 

[Jodast]

To me, AtS and BtVS are about making mistakes, growing from them and making the best of second chances. Personally, I applaud the decision but understand why others may not.

 

[caitaintdead]

I just wanted to say that this such a good opportunity for us to all remember that with the rare exception most of us actually have no proof that we are who we say we are. I've never been friends with this member so it's no skin off my nose but I think it's incredibly disrespectful, sneaky and manipulative to lie about who you are to the degree where you're even lying about your gender for years on end. If this was one of the people I had been chatty with I would be absolutely LIVID. Good thing you never befriended me buddy cause I wouldn't be quite so calm.

I completely respect the decisions made by the mods, they are clearly much more forgiving than me, but I think that bending the rules this way is not okay and he should have been banned.

/me scurries back to IRC and Drogyn

 

[Tueuse de Vampires]

I just wanted to say that this such a good opportunity for us to all remember that with the rare exception most of us actually have no proof that we are who we say we are. I've never been friends with this member so it's no skin off my nose but I think it's incredibly disrespectful, sneaky and manipulative to lie about who you are to the degree where you're even lying about your gender for years on end. If this was one of the people I had been chatty with I would be absolutely LIVID. Good thing you never befriended me buddy cause I wouldn't be quite so calm.

A lot of people might not remember because this is before there time, but in that light, those of us who where here at the time probably all remember Al (whose username I can't remember) and what we found out about him. Ever since, it's been a lot harder to trust people online. Cases like this don't make it easier either.

 

[BuffyElevated]

I think it takes a lot of guts for you to come clean about everything. That being said, though, I do agree with [MENTION=7407]caitaintdead[/MENTION] and @Tueuse de Vampires that it doesn't make it easier to trust the "friends" we think we're making on this board.
I know people make mistakes and it appears you're truly sorry for what you did to Faith in the past and the rest of the staff. I know the decision has been made to let you stay on the board, so I will support that, but I do feel like you've been lying to everyone here about who you are and that makes me very wary of you and your intentions here.

 

[Buffy Summers]

What I would say to that is that, you really shouldn't completely trust anybody online, and you have to protect yourself. I don't think Xin Rong did anything maliciously, but he could have been anyone.

So when the staff gets on people about doing certain things that aren't very safe online, and we get plenty of flack for it, just know it's for a reason.

🙂