Confidence

[Cast No Shadow]

Can you fake it? Is it important?

One of my friends thinks she's really ugly. She's totally not, but she won't hear it. So I told her, have confidence! Be a confident person, if you're confident, then that's definitely sexy.

Do you agree?

I'm fairly insecure about how I look, but I'm so confident that it doesn't bother me too much. I used to be really shy, like...horribly shy. Now I can talk to anyone, have a conversation with anyone, and it's fab!

Is it good to be confident? Are you confident?

 

[Bexieh]

I think it is good to be confident and I wish I was so. I don't think I'm confident in the slightest though. Apart from maybe online. I have a really hard time around people and it drives me insane because there's so much I wish I could do but I can't because I just can't make myself confident enough to do it. And it bothers me when people tell me to just 'be confident' or 'don't be shy'. I know people mean well but if it was as easy as that I wouldn't be sitting at home freaking out over the simple idea of going to the shop. I'm guessing it's possible to fake it, but I haven't a clue how. I just have a stupid mind that assumes the worst about everything, including myself, and gets paranoid :/

 

[sisterofmercy]

Confidence can be faked but not constantly. That can be rather draining if you have to put on an act all the time.

I've never been insecure about my appearance and when I'm in my hometown I'm fairly confident and outgoing. At uni however I'm not. I'm not shy, more ambivalent about the people in my classes. They don't like me and I don't like them- it works.

 

[Jodast]

Overall I would say I am not particularly confident, but it depends on the situation. Put me in a room full of strangers and ask me to make small talk and I will wander around awkwardly and am barely be noticed by anyone. Put me in a room full of strangers with a presentation to give and I will blow their socks off and get a standing ovation at the end of it.

Likewise on here I am a new member, but I am posting quite a bit partly because of the anonymity provided by the internet, but partly because I know that people on these boards are going to have at least one thing in common with me. If I were to join a board dedicated to something I am less interested in, I wouldn't be quite so forthcoming.

Oh yeah and the fact that I use sentences like "If I were to join..." in everyday speech usually has people rolling their eyes and running for the door.

 

[Bluebird]

I'd say I was quite confident. I didn't used to be, but I think it's just came with age and experience. There's way more important things to worry about that how you look or how you'll come across. I like to just enjoy myself, and forget about my worries. Worst that happens now is people think I'm a bit odd. That's only cos they don't get my sense of humour, and are therefore not as cool as me. 😉 So now I don't bother about hiding my personality in any way. You either like me or don't, there's not much I can do about that.

 

[Kean]

Fake it 'til you make it. 😉

To be quite honest, the sexiest thing in the world to me is someone who knows who they are. Someone who is confident and comfortable in their own skin. I don't care what you look like, if you can pull off that quiet sureness, without being arrogant, than you are sexy.

 

[Ripper666]

There was a time when I was a totally silent boy. I had convidence but never enough. One day I just said to myself: "Common, just do it"! and surprise, surprise it worked. And till there I had some amazing moments with friends and strangers. I am not the one with the biggest convidence but with enough convidence to go through the day. Ok to be honest, I still earned some views which said: "This guy is crazzy... ". But I don't regrett anything 😀

And be honest, I would prefer to fake convidence than keep calm. Cause you can only win with convidence, or at least you can fight and loose or win...

 

[This Year's Girl]

I'm sure of myself and my abilities and I like the way I look. I'm not a outgoing person that talks to everyone, but that doesn't have to mean I'm not confident. I'm just more of a calm person that keeps in the background in bigger groups. And that's ok too. But of course I can be insecure like everyone else. But it gets better and better and easier and easier everytime I do something I feel unsure about.

 

[sk]

A certain amount of confidence is of course good. You must have some belief in yourself and your abilities.

But I also think that it's good to have some doubts sometimes. I think that's kinda healthy. It makes, at least me, think more.
Like when I'm writing this post. I'm not super confident that I have anything good to add to this thread. That makes me think an extra time, or two, about what I really want to say. And hopefully that will help. (I can see some obvious jokes coming here... 😉)

When I see people who believe that they know everything and that they can't do anything wrong I've tendency to be a bit sceptical.
I often prefer those who has some doubts but still are confident enough to give it a try.

/SK

 

[Valjavertjinn]

I'm confident in most situations. I don't think that I'm the perfect person or the best person ever, but I'm happy with myself (in looks and smarts) and where I am in life, and that's what's really important, I think.
And I'm confident that I can take care of myself, should the need arise.

 

[kittenpoker]

I keep hearing "fake it till you make it" and i try really really hard, but I just can't seem to.... especially when it comes to confidence. I am very very not confident. And it shows. Much as I try to hide it.

 

[WWGD]

Confidence is absolutely attractive (to a certain extent). I lack it hugely in a social setting though. Even around my close friends, I tend to be pretty introverted. I'm trying to push myself though. I've got plenty of reasons to be confident so I've just got to get past whatever it is that's mentally holding me back. Practice makes... almost perfect 🙂

 

[SlayerFest]

Haha how could being confident possibly be bad? When it turns into arrogance...then you have a slight problem. I'm confident when it comes to my appearance, looks really aren't that important in my opinion, but I do wish that I could be more...energetic, I guess. Also, a lot of people think that I'm insanely shy because I don't talk a lot in certain environments. If I have nothing to say, I say nothing. So I'm known for being insanely quiet in math class, to the point where people think I'm a mute.

In film class, however, I never shut up. It really just depends. I'm not the type of person who talks to anyone and everyone. I mean if someone initiates conversation, I won't ignore them or anything haha...I'm just a quiet person, sometimes. Some people know me as the "quiet girl" and others know me as a total maniac. Anyway...yes, in general, I feel as if I have self confidence...and of course we all have our off days (or months) when we feel like absolute sh-guff.

 

[Jeff86]

These days I can be pretty confident. It's still a work in progress,though. I did used to kind of hate myself for the way I looked, not being the most talkative person on the planet, being gay, etc. Things got alot better once I got out of highschool, and got also when I started coming out. I'm not sure when, but I started to like myself. If you put me in a large group I'm not the most talkative person, mostly because if I have nothing to add, I just don't say anything. I don't talk just to talk in those situations. Now, in a small group, I become much more talkative. Especially if the conversation is about movies, music, technology, or Buffy. Not to sound corny or anything, but I do like who I am, which is always good. A little confidence is always a good thing. 🙂

 

[ashleigh]

I have more confidence than I used to 🙂 I would love to have more, but at least these days I can leave the house without panicking over things 😛