Cordy the bully

[Buffy Summers]

Guys, calm down, and leave belittling comments out of the conversation. Thank you.

 

[wickedtiger86]

I think that there is a difference between being honest because that's what you do . . . and being honest with the sole intent of hurting another person.

And I think that Cordy hops that line from time to time. Sometimes you can tell she's just saying something because it's funnier that way and sometimes she's just being ridiculously blunt. I have a friend a lot like her actually . . .

But I think that she rarely actually intends to hurt another person with what she's saying, especially after season 1 of Buffy, once she started to grow into her own character.

 

[EvilWillow]

Cordy to Doyle - ''you're alot smarter than you look, course, you look like a retard'' - Rm/wa/vw. Not dis similar to me saying ''you're alot straighter than you look, course, you look like a gay''. Or am i wrong?

Obviously that was a joke. Duh.

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[sosa lola]

I feel that "being honest" is just an excuse people use to bully and hurt others. Honesty and tact should go together. If someone was giving me an advice in a tactless manner, I'd be ticked off and stubbornly won't listen to them. Unlike an advice given to me in a tactful manner, that would actually make me reconsider my actions because that person called me on my mistake but still treated me with respect.


Let's leave Cordelia aside. Let's talk about Xander's "you wanna forget all about Ms. Calendar's murder so you can get your boyfriend back." He was saying the truth, but the way he said it was very mean and uncalled for. And his intent was to hurt Buffy, exactly like most of those "honest" people.


Honesty shouldn't be used to hurt people. There's a big difference between being honest and being rude. Honesty is a wonderful trait, but it doesn't give a person a license to put down others. You should be careful with the words you use and the place as well. For example: Finn telling Santana that she shouldn't hide who she is, that he knows she's a lesbian, was honest and something Santana needed to hear, but he should have said it privately.

 

[dexeded]

Cordelia never made fun of an overweight person (unless I'm forgetting something) which is something completely different than calling someone a nerd.

In 1990's North American society, it's generally unacceptable to call someone fat. Mainly because some people find it very difficult to lose weight and staying committed to a new lifestyle is very difficult (especially with all the temptations). Some people can't change their physical appearance and it's not okay to attack them on that. Being a nerd is something that North Americans have embraced and it isn't as much of an insult as being called fat. An example of nerds being cool is the 1984 film "Revenge of the Nerds"...those guys were awesome

So in summary, don't generalize bullying, there are "levels". In society being called a nerd is not as bad as attacking someone on their weight. Bullying is bad at any level, but it happens. Cordelia had enough sense to know when to not cross the line. Some would argue making fun of Xander because he's poor is going to far, but he insulted Cordelia equally as bad, neither are perfect.

Just because you didn't see it onscreen doesn't mean that she didn't bully overweight people. There are indeed "levels", but there is no evidence that Cordelia respected them. She'd always been blunt--sometimes, I enjoy it, like in "When She Was Bad", and a lot of AtS; sometimes, it crosses those "levels", like, as you said, of Xander being poor. She never stopped short of anything when it came to being tactless, intentionally harmful or not, so why would she have for overweight people? My point is, sometimes she really was just a bitca, but there were also times where she was a bona fide bully.

 

[Ripper666]

Well, without critzising anyone or any oppinion here, I was just surprised how many different oppinions are opened here! I always thought:" Of course Cordi was a bully, without any doubt." Now I read through some posts and see that there are some really big edges. Interesting. Very interesting. A very clear thing for me is seen very different by some of you. That surprised me more than I can say!

 

[This Year's Girl]

About Willows way of dressing in the earlier seasons: It isn't a fact that she didn't dress well. It is a opinion. And if you're going to say your opinion, do it in a tactful manner or don't do it at all. And for the record, I think she looked adoreable.

 

[Buffy Summers]

Okay guys, deep breath, let's all calm down and take a step back. The negativity has already been dealt with - no need to rehash it.

🙂

 

[Icarium]

Cordelia never made fun of an overweight person (unless I'm forgetting something) which is something completely different than calling someone a nerd.

It would have been a little hard for her to do otherwise since there were virtually no overweight people in Sunnydale. especially at Sunnydale High. 🙂 Cordelia made fun of Buffy for her parents' divorce (as if that's her fault somehow) and for not having a future, that to me is just as bad calling people fat. Especially since at that point Buffy had saved Cordelia's life on a number of occasions.

And if honesty is so great, should Willow call Cordelia an idiot then to motivate her to do better at school? Should Giles call her ignorant just for the sake of it? Should Willow make fun of Buffy's relative lack of book learning? Should Buffy call everyone without superpowers a wimp? We know that Cordelia can be a total poser when she wants to, so it's not as if she can't help being honest. She just liked telling mean things to people. If you like that trait, great, just don't try to tell me it was mere honesty, please.

 

[Cast No Shadow]

The way I see it, Cordelia was immature to begin with. She was bitchy, but she was witty and dry too, and she said things that were hurtful when she was younger, as many of us have. I used to be pretty bitchy behind people's back when I was a lot younger, now I feel a lot more mature, and secure within myself, and being totally honest, you do it to make yourself feel better (at the expense of someone else).

That doesn't make me, or anyone else a bad person, sure, it's not nice, it's not cool and it doesn't make you any better than anyone else, but it definitely happens.

Cordelia got older and more mature, as most of have did, have done and will do, and with that came more responsibility for her actions, and more of a conscience.

 

[EvilWillow]

I agree it was a joke. Doyle was smarter than Cordy though 🙂

Actually, Cordelia was very smart. If you don't remember, in season 3 she got a high SAT score, and got accepted to really good colleges.

When did it ever indicate that Doyle was smart?

It isn't a fact that she didn't dress well. It is a opinion. And if you're going to say your opinion, do it in a tactful manner or don't do it at all. And for the record, I think she looked adoreable.

So you are saying, that you would wear that same outfit, and wear it happily, with pride?

 

[Living Dead Boy]

So you are saying, that you would wear that same outfit, and wear it happily, with pride?

Not to butt in or anything, but if she did wear it happily, what exactly would be wrong with that?

 

[EvilWillow]

Not to butt in or anything, but if she did wear it happily, what exactly would be wrong with that?

Because it's ghastly.

 

[Living Dead Boy]

Because it's ghastly.

In your opinion. What you might think is ghastly, someone else might think it's gorgeous. You should know that.

 

[EvilWillow]

In your opinion. What you might think is ghastly, someone else might think it's gorgeous. You should know that.

Well, to be fair, her's is the only positive opinion I've heard in regards to Willow's outfit in episode 1.

Willow, herself, is adorable. The outfit, not so much.

 

[Living Dead Boy]

Well, to be fair, her's is the only positive opinion I've heard in regards to Willow's outfit in episode 1.

That doesn't mean anything. Heck, the entire world can think my shirt looks butt ugly, but if I'm cool with it, screw what other people had to say. Know what I mean?

 

[Dagenspear]

Just because you didn't see it onscreen doesn't mean that she didn't bully overweight people. There are indeed "levels", but there is no evidence that Cordelia respected them. She'd always been blunt--sometimes, I enjoy it, like in "When She Was Bad", and a lot of AtS; sometimes, it crosses those "levels", like, as you said, of Xander being poor. She never stopped short of anything when it came to being tactless, intentionally harmful or not, so why would she have for overweight people? My point is, sometimes she really was just a bitca, but there were also times where she was a bona fide bully.

The very fact that we didn't see it and it was never hinted at means it didn't happen. And being a bully is intimidating those who are weaker and pushing them around. Cordelia was mean, she was a vicious bitch, but she was that way to everyone and she never pushed people around. She just wasn't nice to them. And she didn't have to be. It was her right. Freedom of speech.

---------- Post added at 08:36 PM ---------- Previous post was at 08:33 PM ----------

That doesn't mean anything. Heck, the entire world can think my shirt looks butt ugly, but if I'm cool with it, screw what other people had to say. Know what I mean?

Exactly. So why should Cordelia's insult matter?

 

[Hale Caesar]

Just because you didn't see it onscreen doesn't mean that she didn't bully overweight people. There are indeed "levels", but there is no evidence that Cordelia respected them. She'd always been blunt--sometimes, I enjoy it, like in "When She Was Bad", and a lot of AtS; sometimes, it crosses those "levels", like, as you said, of Xander being poor. She never stopped short of anything when it came to being tactless, intentionally harmful or not, so why would she have for overweight people? My point is, sometimes she really was just a bitca, but there were also times where she was a bona fide bully.

There are an infinite amount of things that could have happened off screen. We didn't see it happen, so I don't think it's right to fault her character for something we don't know for certain

 

[EvilWillow]

Just because you didn't see it onscreen doesn't mean that she didn't bully overweight people. There are indeed "levels", but there is no evidence that Cordelia respected them. She'd always been blunt--sometimes, I enjoy it, like in "When She Was Bad", and a lot of AtS; sometimes, it crosses those "levels", like, as you said, of Xander being poor. She never stopped short of anything when it came to being tactless, intentionally harmful or not, so why would she have for overweight people? My point is, sometimes she really was just a bitca, but there were also times where she was a bona fide bully.

This is a fictional character we are talking about, on a television show. To speculate what a fictional character did, that wasn't in the storyline or even mentioned by another character, is in fact absurd.

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[Buffy Summers]

Okay, I think we've had about enough of this.

Please feel free to start a new thread on this subject if you wish to discuss it further.