Could you see Angel helping Dawn in season 5 like Spike did?

Benz

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Just say if Angel had no spin off and stayed on Buffy and no Spike as regular.

Do you think Angel would help Dawn out by finding out she was key and help Dawn bring Joyce back.

Let's say Buffy keeping truth about Dawn secret form Angel and Angel is late for Buffy party and bumps into Dawn and Angel decides he what's to find out what's Buffy keeping form him and Angel breaks into Magic Box and Angel reads out to Dawn about her being key and couses rift beetween Angel and Buffy but later they make up.

I reakon it would be funny Angel hugging Buffy and saying I do all I can to help with Dawn and very next mintie Angel bumps
into Dawn and says he help her bring Joyce back.
 
I do definitely think things would've been different..

I really can't see Angel being on board with bringing Joyce back from the dead. That seems like something that would earn Dawn a lecture from him lol.

I like your idea of what would happen with Angel and Dawn finding out she's the key. I feel like that's exactly what would happen.
 
I can't see Angel helping Dawn bring Joyce back. Helping people just plain isn't Angel's style, and, before someone jumps on me about Angel "helping the helpless,' let me explain what I mean.

Angel doesn't assist other people in doing things, he does things for them. The difference is, Angel has to be the one in charge, the one making all the decisions. He excuses it by saying that he is acting for the greater good, or that what he is doing is in someone else's best interest, but, whatever he does, it is entirely on his own initiative, with him having the final word. Even with Buffy, he often did things behind her back or made decisions affecting her, without asking or consulting her ("I Will Remember You") Angel can be a leader, or he can be an equal partner (but only the "equal" partner who ultimately has the final say in the matter) but he can never be the assistant, the helper, or in any way subordinate, to another . His ego just won't allow it. It's probably the single greatest difference between him and Spike, other than that "dull as a table lamp" thing.

If Angel had been there, and if he had decided that bringing Joyce back would, in his opinion, serve the greater good, then he, himself, would have set about bringing her back, or finding someone who would be able to do so, but it would have been his decision, just as it was his decision to cancel his humanity, to eliminate all memory of Connor, to join forces with Twilight, and to resurrect Giles. He doesn't help other people do things, he does them, himself, for those others, on the excuse that he knows what is right for all concerned.
 
Angel doesn't assist other people in doing things, he does things for them. The difference is, Angel has to be the one in charge, the one making all the decisions. He excuses it by saying that he is acting for the greater good, or that what he is doing is in someone else's best interest, but, whatever he does, it is entirely on his own initiative, with him having the final word.

Right, just like in S1: 'In The Dark' where Angel tells the abused girl that its up to her to believe in herself and go with faith' to get out a toxic relationship BY HERSELF or 'I Fall To Pieces', where the victim faced her creepy stalker on her own and overcame her fears after Angel told her that SHE is the strong one whilst the other guy was coming apart and weak.
or S2 'Untouched' where Angel helped Bethany to control her powers, not by doing things for her, but by persuading her that she already had the strength to do so.

Angel helps the helpless all the time (NOT the ones necessarily directed to in visions) and shows them, them, that they are not helpless. He's not just the guy who saves them

Or that time Angel just let Buffy kick Caleb's ass all on her own 'cause that's what she wanted? He just stood and watched (much like Spike did actually...)

I could go on, but why bother?
 
Right, just like in S1: 'In The Dark' where Angel tells the abused girl that its up to her to believe in herself and go with faith' to get out a toxic relationship BY HERSELF or 'I Fall To Pieces', where the victim faced her creepy stalker on her own and overcame her fears after Angel told her that SHE is the strong one whilst the other guy was coming apart and weak.
or S2 'Untouched' where Angel helped Bethany to control her powers, not by doing things for her, but by persuading her that she already had the strength to do so.

Angel helps the helpless all the time (NOT the ones necessarily directed to in visions) and shows them, them, that they are not helpless. He's not just the guy who saves them

Or that time Angel just let Buffy kick Caleb's ass all on her own 'cause that's what she wanted? He just stood and watched (much like Spike did actually...)

I could go on, but why bother?

Yeah, but you gotta admit - the guy DOES have a certain level of control-freak in him. More than most of the other characters, at least. Wesley has it too, BTW.
 
Right, just like in S1: 'In The Dark' where Angel tells the abused girl that its up to her to believe in herself and go with faith' to get out a toxic relationship BY HERSELF or 'I Fall To Pieces', where the victim faced her creepy stalker on her own and overcame her fears after Angel told her that SHE is the strong one whilst the other guy was coming apart and weak.
or S2 'Untouched' where Angel helped Bethany to control her powers, not by doing things for her, but by persuading her that she already had the strength to do so.

Angel helps the helpless all the time (NOT the ones necessarily directed to in visions) and shows them, them, that they are not helpless. He's not just the guy who saves them

Or that time Angel just let Buffy kick Caleb's ass all on her own 'cause that's what she wanted? He just stood and watched (much like Spike did actually...)

I could go on, but why bother?

In each case that you mentioned, and probably the others, that you couldn't be bothered with, it is Angel making the final decision. Angel decides that someone must help themselves, that they must confront their enemy, or that they have to learn how to control and use their powers. He doesn't relinquish that final authority. Very few, if any, are allowed to ultimately overrule him. Even Buffy can't always have the final say, as we have seen several times.

As for Angel "letting" Buffy beat up Caleb, he probably decided that it would serve the greater good, and be better for her ego to let her do it for herself. Besides which, as he said, it had been a long time since he had seen Buffy work, and he was enjoying the show (or maybe it was just strategy, the way that he "let" Faith fight the Beast first, then made his own move once when there was less risk for himself).

Angel is the classic alpha male. He was the leader of his vampire pack, even though Darla was his senior and sire, and he even defied the Master. He was the head of his team in Los Angeles. In Sunnydale, he worked WITH Buffy, but never actually FOR her. If he disagreed with what she wanted to do, he usually just did what he wanted to do in the first place.
 
Buffy Summers
Buffy Summers
Good point, I never thought of it that way :)
Yeah, but you gotta admit - the guy DOES have a certain level of control-freak in him.

He is the title character/protagonist so that goes with the territory I guess. He has moments where he unilaterally decides what is best for others. But then so does Buffy every time she decides to keep a secret that effects others besides herself.

Then there's Willow who's control freakery and using magic to fix people because of arguments level of control, etc.

I reject the notion however, that Angel's heroics are merely a side-effect of said control freakery, as was being implied.


As for the question at hand, no I doubt Angel would've let Dawn dabble in dark necromancy to get her Mom back- that would be short-sighted and immature. I think he might've been in a position to actually comfort her as she mourned, just like he did with Buffy.

I don't think that Angel would've helped Dawn break into the Magic Box though.
 
In each case that you mentioned, and probably the others, that you couldn't be bothered with, it is Angel making the final decision. Angel decides that someone must help themselves, that they must confront their enemy, or that they have to learn how to control and use their powers. He doesn't relinquish that final authority.

Ah, I see. So if Angel makes the final decision, then he's a control freak. And if he doesn't, its only because he let that person make their own final decision. Therefore he's a control freak....
Yep, he can't win with some people. 😉

Do I think that Angel got into the hero thing just so he could tell people what to do? No, its an utterly laughable assertion that Angel always has to be in charge.
Like that time he went to work for Wesley and co. post Epiphany. Yep, that was just Angel 'letting' them take charge, because he's a control freak.

Sure, you can distort anything by saying 'probably' about character motivations, basically making stuff up, but that doesn't really lead anywhere productive.
 
Angel and Spike are so different it would have completely changed the story. Angel went on to become more fatherly on AtS because of Connor and to an extent Fred. If he had stayed on Buffy his character wouldn't have developed that way. Family was more important to Spike right from his human days. Angel is a loner, Spike is a people person invested in those around him. Example: never in a million years would a chipped Angelus go to the scoobies for help. When harmony and the other vampires weren't going to take him in he lasted about 5 minutes on his own.
 
Do I think that Angel got into the hero thing just so he could tell people what to do? No, its an utterly laughable assertion that Angel always has to be in charge.

And yet, ultimately, he winds up being he one in charge. As I said, Angel is the classic alpha male. It's in his character, the way that he was written. And, no, he didn't get into the hero business just so he could tell people what to do. He was doing it long before that, and everyone was accepting it. That goes with being the alpha male. It's not necessarily a character flaw, by any means, but it is most certainly a character trait. He doesn't assert his will over others just to be dominant, he does it because, right or wrong, he truly believes that his way is the best way. it's that self assurance that defines his character.

Like that time he went to work for Wesley and co. post Epiphany. Yep, that was just Angel 'letting' them take charge, because he's a control freak.

And, how many episodes later was it that he was, once again, the one giving the orders? Angel is a natural leader, and he will always trust his own judgement over the judgement of others. His actions prove that, time and again.

Visualize Angel and his team in the same situation that Buffy and her team were in in "Empty Places." Would Angel have meekly walked out of the Hyperion rather than force a confrontation with his friends? Would he have asked Cordy to "just hold him" the way that Buffy did with Spike? Alpha males don't do that, and Angel is an alpha male. Once more, that isn't necessarily a character flaw, but it is a character trait.
 
bespangeled
bespangeled
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He is the title character/protagonist so that goes with the territory I guess. He has moments where he unilaterally decides what is best for others. But then so does Buffy every time she decides to keep a secret that effects others besides herself.

Then there's Willow who's control freakery and using magic to fix people because of arguments level of control, etc.

I reject the notion however, that Angel's heroics are merely a side-effect of said control freakery, as was being implied.

Everyone has elements of control-freakery, as I said. It's just that Angel's are more prominent than most (Willow's are ALSO more prominent than most. Although in her case, I think that is something that developed over the years, whereas Angel's control-freakery was a pretty consistent trait throughout AtS. It was less prominent when he was on BtVS). And it's not because he's a main character - Buffy is also a main character, and she wasn't as control-y as Angel (except for in season 7, which was a result of her 7-year-long character arc). Buffy actually calls him out on that in 'I will Remember You':

Angel: "Well, umm, it's good to.. Can I get you anything?"
Buffy: "How about - an explanation? - Who do you think you are coming to my town and following me around behind my back?"
Angel: "I'm sorry."
Buffy: "What is this? Some new torment you cooked up just for me?"
Angel: "No, I don't want to torment.."
Buffy: "What is it? You can see me, but I can't see you? What are we playing here?"
Angel: "We're not. I'm not playing anything. I wrestled with this decision.."
Buffy: "Which you made without me."
Angel: "I tried to do what I thought was right. It's complicated how this all happened, Buffy, you know? It's kind of a long story."
Buffy: "Your new sidekick had a vision, I was in it, you came to Sunnydale?"
Angel: "Okay, maybe not that long."
Buffy: "You didn't feel that I was important enough to even tell me that you were there."
Angel looks at her: "I'm trying to explain. It's because I felt that you're important that I didn't tell you."
Buffy: "I'm a big girl now, Angel. I'm not in High School anymore. A lot has happened in my life since you left."
Angel: "I know. I respect that."
Buffy: "And I don't need you skulking around, trying to protect me. (Angel looks away, and Buffy looks down) Unless, of course, I'm in some gigantic fight to the death, which - I was last night. That was you, helping me, wasn't it?"
Angel: "I was in the neighborhood - skulking."

Angel meant well, of course, but he didn't seem to respect Buffy's free will.

And later in that same episode, he decides to turn back time so he could go back to being a vampire - without even CONSULTING with Buffy first. That's a really big action, which affects Buffy too, and Angel didn't even talk with her first. And in the middle of season 2, Angel goes on his crusade against W&H, in ways that affect his friends, but he never listens to his friends in the matter ("Let them fight the good fight. Someone has to fight the war"). In 3x21, Angel goes to kill Holtz while hiding it from Connor, who sees Holtz as an adoptive father. And in 4x22, he brainwashes his entire group of friends to make them forget Connor, and he essentially "reboots" Connor's entire personality (Adelle DeWitt would approve). In 5x21, Angel has no problem manipulating his entire group of friends so he could hatch a plot to attack W&H, and he even sends an ASSASSIN to attack Drogyn as part of that gambit, hoping that Drogyn would defeat him. He later asks the group's consent to join in the main attack, but he did a LOT without their permission first.

I think Angel is often so desperate to find a purpose that would redeem his sinful past, that he ignores the purposes that OTHER people pick for themselves. And this is a character trait that doesn't really get called out until 'Angel & Faith' in season 9.

Buffy, on the other hand, often tries to run away from her purpose ("I don't care. Giles, I'm 16 years old. I don't wanna die". "I would love to be upstairs watching TV or gossiping about boys or... God, even studying! But I have to save the world... again!" "If Dawn dies,
then I'm done with it. I'm quitting"). She does what's right because it is necessary, but she doesn't want it to define her life. She doesn't get addicted to it the way Angel does. Not until season 7, at least, and then she gets constantly called out on it by the narrative ("Maybe you think you're better than them"). Angel, on the other hand, is really all about the control ("Not in my city"), and he rarely gets called out on it... At least until season 9.

As for the question at hand, no I doubt Angel would've let Dawn dabble in dark necromancy to get her Mom back- that would be short-sighted and immature. I think he might've been in a position to actually comfort her as she mourned, just like he did with Buffy.

I don't think that Angel would've helped Dawn break into the Magic Box though.

That would be my guess too.
 
Stoney
Stoney
aaand Angel isn't up front in NFA even, despite people putting their lives on the line, he says his part is going to kill Sebassis, knowing he has already poisoned him. :(
And yet, ultimately, he winds up being he one in charge. As I said, Angel is the classic alpha male.

Nope, classic alpha males- in the strictest sense- are ALWAYS trying to assert their dominance in social situations, even if they're already in charge- think unsouled Spike leading a gang of vamps.
So if Angel were such a person, he wouldn't want Gunn anywhere near his gang- (too threatening being a leader of men himself), he would ignore Wesley instead of trying to build confidence in the guy and he would NEVER let Cordelia talk to him the way she's allowed to.
He would shout, throw he weight around and possibly threaten. Look at any Wall Street exec and you'll see typical alpha male behavior. It is not Angel's defining trait as you suggest.

Natural leader? Charismatic? Sure, but that doesn't mean the same thing.

He doesn't assert his will over others just to be dominant, he does it because, right or wrong, he truly believes that his way is the best way. it's that self assurance that defines his character.

You basically said that it is- its all about Angel feeling important and knowing what's best and the helping people is entirely secondary.
With all due respect we're watching different shows. I can give numerous examples of Angel helping people help themselves. If you want to disregard that go right ahead, but it is not controlling behavior, not at all.

Also Angel is not always self-assured. He can be, but he can also be full of self-doubt. It makes him an interesting, layered character in my view.

And, how many episodes later was it that he was, once again, the one giving the orders?

How about when Connor was born- so, well into the next season?

In the Pylea arc, although Angel was in charge for a little while, Wesley was also allowed to flex his leadership muscles plenty (Angel goofed about an awful lot).

In S3 Wesley is still regarded as leader firmly in charge of investigations- he's the one who makes Angel apologize to Merle in 'That Old Gang Of Mine' when Angel clearly doesn't want to (strange alpha male behavior I must say).

And then in S4 I can't remember Wesley being firmly under Angel's thumb or anything- and an alpha male type would insist on. Nope, he works with Wesley, asks for his help not demand it, etc.
Really, there are too many examples to mention.

In S5 Angel is the boss so yeah, I guess he is firmly reestablished as leader by then. So effectively that's about 2 and a half seasons until he's THE BOSS again.

Visualize Angel and his team in the same situation that Buffy and her team were in in "Empty Places." Would Angel have meekly walked out of the Hyperion rather than force a confrontation with his friends?

Maybe. Angel can. Angel can be humble, he can doubt himself.

Also you just picked one of Buffy's classic 'alpha male' moments, where she tries to bully everybody into backing her plan and then is shocked when they refuse.
That Buffy, if she doesn't get her own way she always runs off in a huff. Unless she doesn't run off in a huff and even then she secretly fumes because she's so arrogant. You can see it if you look closely enough...

And later in that same episode, he decides to turn back time so he could go back to being a vampire - without even CONSULTING with Buffy first. That's a really big action, which affects Buffy too, and Angel didn't even talk with her first.

Ah, the old classic. Angel wanted to be a vampire again. Nothing to do with the knowledge that Buffy was going to die, armies of darkness of the rise, the Oracles seeing the future et all, Nothing to do with the fact that perhaps he didn't feel he hadn't earned his redemption/forgiveness (the very theme that runs through S1!), nope, Angel just likes being a superhero, nothing more to it.

Putting motivation to one side: Angel's body, Angel is the one who is affected most by his humanity, Angel is the one who gets to make the call. It's strange to insist otherwise.
He had minutes to decide, he had an audience with the Oracles- who are prickly about having demands made of them- so he made a call. The shame of it.

And in the middle of season 2, Angel goes on his crusade against W&H, in ways that affect his friends, but he never listens to his friends in the matter ("Let them fight the good fight. Someone has to fight the war").

Angel fired them, as bosses sometimes do, because Angel was feeling weak- as he later tells them. He could feel the darkness coming out of him and wanted to send them away so they wouldn't see it or be hurt by it.
They, as is their right, kept right on doing what they were doing- helping the helpless. Angel eventually comes back and humbles himself and apologies- he was wrong.

In 3x21, Angel goes to kill Holtz while hiding it from Connor, who sees Holtz as an adoptive father.

Yep still, he tells Cordelia what he's going to do though and she tells him not to. I mean, he ignores her and goes anyway.
Perhaps he shouldn't have lied to Connor, that's a valid point, but its nothing to do with being some know-it-all, its about VENGEANCE. Angel wanted to confront Holtz, it can be argued that he had the right to confront him alone after all that.

And is keeping secrets suddenly the same as making arrogant, unilateral decisions? Well Buffy's got Angel beat there- there are countless times where she flat out lies to her friends (by ommision but still), Giles, Riley, about things that affect them or her relationship with them. Guess she's more arrogant that Angel then.

And in 4x22, he brainwashes his entire group of friends to make them forget Connor, and he essentially "reboots" Connor's entire personality (Adelle DeWitt would approve).

Yup, this was a straight-up unilateral decision that affected his friends and Angel had no right to do it.
That's one.

Angel has no problem manipulating his entire group of friends so he could hatch a plot to attack W&H

Really? I thought he was manipulating W&H to get close to them? He had to convince his friends to sell it but he tells the truth when the time is right.
Then gives them the option- walk away or we use this one chance to cut the head off the snake.

He later asks the group's consent to join in the main attack, but he did a LOT without their permission first.

Because it was necessary, as he explains. He had to be convincing to get close. But he DOES ask their permission when it matters. They join the fight of their own free will.

Btw- free will that Buffy never gave to thousands of girls. Never gave to poor Dana. We can all give examples but that will always be the biggest, and it had nothing to do with Angel.
But it was necessary- you want to condemn a character for acting unilaterally then condemn ALL characters that do it unilaterally.

Buffy, on the other hand, often tries to run away from her purpose ("I don't care. Giles, I'm 16 years old. I don't wanna die". "I would love to be upstairs watching TV or gossiping about boys or... God, even studying! But I have to save the world... again!" "If Dawn dies,
then I'm done with it. I'm quitting"). She does what's right because it is necessary, but she doesn't want it to define her life. She doesn't get addicted to it the way Angel does.

Maybe. You could also say that Buffy keeps secrets because she thinks she's better than her friends- she does it constantly and admits that she has a superiority complex, she's always making unilateral decisions that affect them.
Not telling them about Angel's return, not telling her friends about the Key, saying that anybody who goes near Dawn will be killed by her even though whole worlds hang in the balance, keeping triggered and dangerous Spike in the house and not heeding anyone's cautions. These are just a few examples.

It's easy to cherry pick and lambast a character as this or that, and sum them up as 'they are always like this' when they're not. There were situations, they made a choice, in a different situation maybe they make a different choice. It's easy to make sweeping statements about a character and their judgements.
Clearly I do not see Angel the same way you do.

The thing is leaders like Buffy and Angel often have to make tough choices that affect more than just themselves. That is their lot- BOTH of them, and they get crap thrown at them, but other characters- who are not leaders, make worse choices, and have the luxury of doing what please themselves and only them, they get away with a whole lot more.
I tend to take that into consideration as well.
 
Carrie Hopewell
Carrie Hopewell
I love it when you defend Angel. Saves me the trouble from doing that myself and you do it better ;)
Nope, classic alpha males- in the strictest sense- are ALWAYS trying to assert their dominance in social situations, even if they're already in charge- think unsouled Spike leading a gang of vamps.

I think the whole alpha male thing is a vampire trait though. In a pack, there will always be a dominant male. The only time we saw a dominant female was with Sunday and her gang in "The Freshman" but the males there weren't too bright. Darla took control of the whirlwind when Angelus left after being souled but then it seemed like she didn't spend much time around Spike and Dru if she could avoid it and left them to their own devices. They only banded together when it came to something big such as the gypsy massacre or the boxer rebellion. They all soon went their own ways with only Spike and Dru sticking together. In season 2, Spike was used to being the dominant male and you could see how annoyed he was when Angelus came back and displaced him.
 
Do you think Buffy would keep Dawn's identity secret from Angel? Maybe she'd want Angel to know since aside from Buffy, he'd probably have the best shot at protecting her. I know you could probably argue the same for Willow, but I'm not sure Buffy realised how strong Willow had gotten until later in the season.
 
I think the whole alpha male thing is a vampire trait though. In a pack, there will always be a dominant male.

I think- as demons- you're absolutely correct. Vampires tend to form into that pack mentality; an alpha (sometimes male) leader and all the followers. Sometimes a second-in command type. They keep control by bullying. Angelus and Spike were shown to be good at ruling through fear and intimidation. Although I think when the whirlwind was active Darla was a guiding hand as well, she had some sway over Angelus.

But you give them a soul and it changes. Angel and Spike- who both ran their own gangs- happily take orders from Buffy in S3 and 7 respectively. Buffy makes Angel work FOR Xander. He grouches and they bicker but he does it just fine.
Spike works with people who hate him in S7, does so without complain and gives Buffy advice anyways- they follow her lead.

There are more examples of Angel following when it is needed (on his own show); Guise Will Be Guise Wesley takes charge (its the coat, I'm sure) but usually he falls into a natural leader role with Wesley as his second later on.
 
Ah, the old classic. Angel wanted to be a vampire again. Nothing to do with the knowledge that Buffy was going to die, armies of darkness of the rise, the Oracles seeing the future et all, Nothing to do with the fact that perhaps he didn't feel he hadn't earned his redemption/forgiveness (the very theme that runs through S1!), nope, Angel just likes being a superhero, nothing more to it.

Putting motivation to one side: Angel's body, Angel is the one who is affected most by his humanity, Angel is the one who gets to make the call. It's strange to insist otherwise.
He had minutes to decide, he had an audience with the Oracles- who are prickly about having demands made of them- so he made a call. The shame of it.

I never said that Angel just wanted to be a superhero. I get his reasoning for turning back time, and I'm fine with it. But he decided to turn back time without even consulting Buffy, and that's shady. She's affected by this decision too, and he should have talked to her first. That doesn't mean he had to AGREE with her - he could have talked to her, and then if she said he shouldn't do it, he could have done it anyway. That would be fine. But not talking to her at all is shady.

Also - "he had minutes to decide"? Where do you get that idea? I really didn't see that in the episode. The so-called "armies of darkness" weren't beating down the door, they were a vague prophecy. Angel had the time to talk with Buffy first, and he CHOSE not to.

Angel fired them, as bosses sometimes do, because Angel was feeling weak- as he later tells them. He could feel the darkness coming out of him and wanted to send them away so they wouldn't see it or be hurt by it.
They, as is their right, kept right on doing what they were doing- helping the helpless. Angel eventually comes back and humbles himself and apologies- he was wrong.

Well, yeah. That's exactly how I see it too. And it IS a part of his control-y pattern - he wanted to protect them, so he fired them without explaining the reason, and went on his fanatic mission against W&H without consulting with them. He, again, made decisions that affected the rest of the group without talking with them about it. Because he was too concerned about "the big picture" and about his own "redemption".

Yep still, he tells Cordelia what he's going to do though and she tells him not to. I mean, he ignores her and goes anyway.
Perhaps he shouldn't have lied to Connor, that's a valid point, but its nothing to do with being some know-it-all, its about VENGEANCE. Angel wanted to confront Holtz, it can be argued that he had the right to confront him alone after all that.

And is keeping secrets suddenly the same as making arrogant, unilateral decisions? Well Buffy's got Angel beat there- there are countless times where she flat out lies to her friends (by ommision but still), Giles, Riley, about things that affect them or her relationship with them. Guess she's more arrogant that Angel then.

1) Vengeance is never a justified motivation. You don't get to hurt other people to make yourself feel better. But if your point is that Angel was motvated by anger and hate rather than control-freakery, then that might be a good point.
2) There's a difference between Buffy keeping her relationship stuff secret and Angel taking practical decisions of life and death that affect his friends' lives.

Yup, this was a straight-up unilateral decision that affected his friends and Angel had no right to do it.
That's one.

That's two, actually - rebooting Connor's personality, and erasing his friends' memories about him so they wouldn't interfere.

Really? I thought he was manipulating W&H to get close to them? He had to convince his friends to sell it but he tells the truth when the time is right.
Then gives them the option- walk away or we use this one chance to cut the head off the snake.

Tell that to DROGYN'S SNAPPED NECK! LOL, sorry, I had to. And Drogyn's neck isn't actually snapped, it's just bitten to death. Anyway - he was manipulating W&H to get close to them, sure... And he did it while doing things that affected other people dangerously without consulting them. He sent a demon to attack Drogyn, and that demon ended up attacking Spike and Illyria too. He was being WAY machiavellian in the end of season 5.

Also, he made a deal with a demon senator to make another politician think that HE WAS A CHILD MOLESTER. That's really, really, REALLY shady. In NFA, we find out that that politician went public about those false memories, which means he lost his political future, and probably his family too, and his entire life is ruined forever. That's beyond messed up. It might actually be the most despicable thing Angel ever did while ensouled (at least before the comics).

Because it was necessary, as he explains. He had to be convincing to get close. But he DOES ask their permission when it matters. They join the fight of their own free will.

That's the thing - it mattered BEFORE, too. Angel sent an assassin that wounded Drogyn as part of his ruse. Did Angel ask Drogyn before he sent a demon to cut him up?

Btw- free will that Buffy never gave to thousands of girls. Never gave to poor Dana. We can all give examples but that will always be the biggest, and it had nothing to do with Angel.
But it was necessary- you want to condemn a character for acting unilaterally then condemn ALL characters that do it unilaterally.

As I said, Buffy wasn't control-y... UNTIL SEASON 7. And her decision in 'Chosen' DOES get criticized, HEAVILY, in 'Damage' and in season 8. Hell, the entire POINT of season 8 is that Buffy's decision in 'Chosen' had a lot of unintended consequences.

Also, Buffy's decision in 'Chosen' is at least different from Angel's unilateral decisions in that it was Buffy's way of having FAITH in humanity.


Not telling them about Angel's return

Which she gets criticized for. And it's a much less severe example than Angel's. Especially when compared to Angel in seasons 4 and 5 of AtS.

not telling her friends about the Key,

She does tell Giles. She consults with someone about it. And in this case, keeping the secret had very concrete reasons - keeping the secret was the only thing standing between Glory and victory (which would mean the apocalypse), since Buffy had no way of defeating Glory at the time. Angel's reasons for keeping secrets were usually much more convoluted and weak - he could have easily talked with Buffy in 1x08 before turning back time, and he could explain to his crew in 2x10 why he was doing what he did. And his actions in seasons 4 and 5 (the memory wipe, the ruse in 5x21) were far beyond anything Buffy ever did.

saying that anybody who goes near Dawn will be killed by her even though whole worlds hang in the balance

She's upfront about it. She makes a choice and talks openly with her friends about it. Angel's unilateral decisions were usually a case of him deciding something without consulting with other people first - turning back time in 1x08, firing his crew without explanation in 2x10, erasing his friends' memories without asking in 4x22, etc...

keeping triggered and dangerous Spike in the house and not heeding anyone's cautions.

That's season 7. In which Buffy IS control-y.

It's easy to cherry pick and lambast a character as this or that, and sum them up as 'they are always like this' when they're not. There were situations, they made a choice, in a different situation maybe they make a different choice. It's easy to make sweeping statements about a character and their judgements.
Clearly I do not see Angel the same way you do.

The thing is leaders like Buffy and Angel often have to make tough choices that affect more than just themselves. That is their lot- BOTH of them, and they get crap thrown at them, but other characters- who are not leaders, make worse choices, and have the luxury of doing what please themselves and only them, they get away with a whole lot more.
I tend to take that into consideration as well.

I'm not trying to demonize Angel. I'm just saying he has more of a tendancy to control people than most the rest of the cast, because he is very purpose-oriented. Giles also has it. Wesley also has it. Buffy also has it in season 7. Willow develops it over time too, and struggles with it. Xander had it in the beginning, and gradually loses it. Faith doesn't have it as much, although she does make many control-y actions simply because she's a very rash person. Spike doesn't have it as much, although he does make many control-y actions simply because he has issues with obsession and because he's often over-compensating for his lack of self-esteem.

It's true that Buffy and Angel both have to make a lot of hard choices simply because they're the leader. The main difference, IMO, is that Buffy is a lot less comfortable with it. Angel often EMBRACES the responsibility, because he sees it as an opportunity, a way of making amends for his sinful past. Buffy, on the other hand, sees it as more of a burden.

That's just how I see these characters.
 
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bespangeled
bespangeled
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But he decided to turn back time without even consulting Buffy, and that's shady. She's affected by this decision too, and he should have talked to her first. That doesn't mean he had to AGREE with her - he could have talked to her, and then if she said he shouldn't do it, he could have done it anyway. That would be fine. But not talking to her at all is shady.

I think it would've been worse if he's talked to her and then completely disregarded her opinion to be honest. That would've been greater evidence of a high handed controlling. And again IT IS HIS BODY, his destiny.
He told Buffy his decision, why he did it and she accepted it (tearfully, because she would forget her perfect day) but she understood his reasoning.

I mean, you don't have to view it as some noble self-sacrifice thing (which is clearly what the writers were going for with the doomed love angle) but trying to turn it into some Machiavellian mind-wipe is just tired, man.

Also - "he had minutes to decide"? Where do you get that idea? I really didn't see that in the episode.

I mean he was right there, in an audience with the Oracles. They brought up the option- the ONLY option and then said 'Well?'.
If Angel said 'Can I think about it?' do you really think that they would've gone 'Okay, sure man, It's not like we have better things to do that wait while lower beings iron out their love lives and get informed consent from their girlfriends. You go right ahead, take your time.'

It was strongly implied- decide now because we're doing you a massive favor just by listening. And they turned back the day and played with Angel's memory so he and he alone wouldn't forget. He's the one who gets screwed over whilst Buffy gets to move on with Riley.

Well, yeah. That's exactly how I see it too. And it IS a part of his control-y pattern

I don't see a pattern. You gave examples and I disagreed. Just because somebody does something without telling them the reason doesn't make them controlling. For example its hard to control people when you fire them and drive them away, in general.

I mean, was Buffy controlling when she ran away from Sunnydale at the end of S2? Nope, she couldn't cope so she snapped. Same with Angel, he had enough so he snapped.
Their friends had to deal with the fallout because they didn't tell them what the hell they did or why until much later.

1) Vengeance is never a justified motivation.

I agree. But it is an understandable motivation. And Angel pays for his choice. Holtz frames him and Connor sticks him in the ocean for a few months.
That's Angel paying for his choice just like Buffy sometimes pays for hers- if you want to see it that way.

2) There's a difference between Buffy keeping her relationship stuff secret and Angel taking practical decisions of life and death that affect his friends' lives.

Not really. The thing is- all those decision affect her friends, and she still doesn't tell them. It's a pattern of behavior with her, putting her opinion above them and not telling them. That ignorance can sometimes put their lives in danger and people can suffer as a result.

But do I think that means that she's controlling? No I don't, but I'm using the Buffy example to show that its easy to make generalizations about a character who happens to be the leader.

That's two, actually - rebooting Connor's personality, and erasing his friends' memories about him so they wouldn't interfere.

I don't have any problem with what Angel did to Connor. He turned a border-line psychotic broken kid into a happy kid with a nice family. More tellingly, Connor doesn't mind at all. He thanks his Dad in the end.
What he did to his friends? That was a bad move, and Angel pays for it because he has to get into bed with W&H.
He also gets access to a world saving amulet, which is handy.

Tell that to DROGYN'S SNAPPED NECK! LOL, sorry, I had to. And Drogyn's neck isn't actually snapped, it's just bitten to death.

Yes, Angel did kill Drogyn, another dick move. Never said the guy was perfect, but he isn't some controlling megalomaniac either.
The rest of it is evil- necessary evil to stop some greater evils taking place. Again

Angel knows that HE crossed a line and that there might be no going back for HIM. Man, if you look at it that way it almost seems like he's trying to protect his friends from having to make most of those uncomfortable choices.

Like I said, he still gives them the option. It's not like he said 'Well, I've pissed off the Senior Partners and their armies are gonna be here in about *looks at watch* five minutes. Meet me in the alley and bring your weapons, there's gonna be a brawl!'

He gives them a choice. 'I';m doing this, you don't have to.'
But of course most of them had already signed up to W&H willingly (although a lot of people try to blame that on Angel as well) and they all judged that they couldn't just walk away when they had a chance to strike at the very heart. They all raised up their hands- willingly.

As I said, Buffy wasn't control-y... UNTIL SEASON 7.

You could absolutely make a case for Buffy being controlling before S7...if you also say that making unilateral decisions and keeping secrets can ONLY mean that somebody is controlling.

Also, Buffy's decision in 'Chosen' is at least different from Angel's unilateral decisions in that it was Buffy's way of having FAITH in humanity.

So it's okay to make a totally unilateral decision if its for the right reasons?
Dana suffers, girls die and yes, it is mentioned in S8 (and S9) where Buffy makes more unilateral decisions like boinking Twilight.
But that's another story.


Here's the thing, Angel can make unilateral decisions, but its not a pattern like his critics like to assert. He does it when it involves himself personally- I mean his body, his inner demons, or his son. He makes those decisions as a mortal man, then as a vampire and then as a father, NOT as some know-it-all leader.
You can take out context all you want but those are the facts that explain his actions.

And if all characters are controlling (I don't believe they are btw) then why is it such a big deal with Angel?

I don't think Buffy IS controlling, just that occasionally she keeps a barrier up between herself and her friends. She is the slayer, she is- to some extent- always alone. Nothing can change that and sometimes that can manifest in keeping secrets. Who else would understand?

Giles can sometimes be controlling, but compared to say, every other Watcher ever, he's actually rather flexible and relaxed in his thinking. He does realize when he methods are counter productive and tires another approach. This is frowned upon by other watchers- not controlling enough, 'too American', too emotionally involved or whatever. But he has his moments- killing Ben, the S7 stuff, etc.

Spike can be controlling about the people he loves- specifically Buffy, but that goes away after he gets his soul for the most part.

Willow is one of the most controlling I think, it comes from all that insecurity she has, but I would never say it was her primary characteristic, only its something that emerges and then she deals with it.

But if somebody does something that affects other people, that doesn't necessarily make them controlling, it just means that their important in the grand scheme of things.
 
Spike can be controlling

Willow is one of the most controlling I think,

Just about everyone in the entire Buffyverse, even Andrew, has been controlling at some point, imposing their wills on others. That's a normal human trait. No one denies that. Ange just seems to be the most consistent in that behavior. As I've said before, that is a character TRAIT, not necessarily a character FLAW. It's part of his character, the way that it was written, and the way that David played it. It's part of being the classic heroic figure. He always has a solution to every problem, an action for every situation, and he acts accordingly. Angel is a natural leader, and people follow him instinctively. He may be the perfect Chief, but he makes, at best, a poor Indian. At best, he is shown cooperating or working with others, but he rarely, if ever, actually follows orders. That's Spike's thing.

Even with Buffy, I always got the distinct feeling that he was in Sunnydale to protect her, not to be one of her followers, the way that Willow, Xander, Cordy, or even Giles were. Angel was never actually, in the strict sense, part of Buffy's team as much as he was her ally, fully equal, and not subject to her commands, unless he agreed with them.

But if somebody does something that affects other people, that doesn't necessarily make them controlling, it just means that their important in the grand scheme of things.

No, that makes him the (does it have to be said again?) alpha male. The Master made decisions that affected others, without consulting them in the matter. That wasn't because of his importance in any sort of grand scheme, except, maybe, his own. It just made him the alpha male in his group. Angel has always has far more faith in his own judgement that that of others, and his actions are far more often likely to be dictated by his own will and judgement than that of others. Whether those decisions are the right ones for all concerned, or whether the other affected parties would have agreed, if asked, is totally irrelevant in making his final decision to make. The classic example of this is what happened to Drogyn. Would he have agreed to Angel's plan, even to the point of knowing that it would result in his death? Possibly, but he never got the opportunity to voice his opinion. Angel made it for him, no discussion, no warning, and certainly, no choice. Was the greater good served? Possibly. Perhaps even probably. But that greater good was determined by one man, even though it affected many others. Excuse that by saying that there wasn't enough time for discussion, or secrecy was of the greatest importance, but the fact remains, Angel made the decision to end another man's life in order to further his own plan, which was, by his own definition, little more than a gesture, a slap in the face of the monsters who would no doubt kill them for making that gesture.
 
I think it would've been worse if he's talked to her and then completely disregarded her opinion to be honest. That would've been greater evidence of a high handed controlling.

How would it be worse? If he doesn't tell her first, then he's deciding for her AND without consulting with her. If he DOES tell her first, then he's just deciding for her. Not telling her first is clearly worse, because it's 2 questionable things for the price of one. Besides, if he talked with her first, I'm sure Buffy would eventually agree with him that he needs to turn back time - just like in 3x20, when she eventually agreed with him that he needs to leave.

And again IT IS HIS BODY, his destiny.
He told Buffy his decision, why he did it and she accepted it (tearfully, because she would forget her perfect day) but she understood his reasoning.

I mean, you don't have to view it as some noble self-sacrifice thing (which is clearly what the writers were going for with the doomed love angle) but trying to turn it into some Machiavellian mind-wipe is just tired, man.

I don't think it's some nefarious plot by Angel, just that he made a decision FOR Buffy, without talking with her about it first. He had her best interests at heart, sure, but he didn't respect her right to be in on the debate. Just like in 'Pangs', when he defended Buffy without even talking to her. It's not the worst crime in the world, but it's still control-y.

I mean he was right there, in an audience with the Oracles. They brought up the option- the ONLY option and then said 'Well?'.
If Angel said 'Can I think about it?' do you really think that they would've gone 'Okay, sure man, It's not like we have better things to do that wait while lower beings iron out their love lives and get informed consent from their girlfriends. You go right ahead, take your time.'

It was strongly implied- decide now because we're doing you a massive favor just by listening. And they turned back the day and played with Angel's memory so he and he alone wouldn't forget. He's the one who gets screwed over whilst Buffy gets to move on with Riley.

Well I rewatched it, and Angel clearly came to the oracles with the intention of asking to be turned back. He didn't even tell Buffy where he was going. Again, I'm not questioning his decision, just the way in which he came to that decision - without talking to Buffy.

I don't see a pattern. You gave examples and I disagreed. Just because somebody does something without telling them the reason doesn't make them controlling. For example its hard to control people when you fire them and drive them away, in general.

I mean, was Buffy controlling when she ran away from Sunnydale at the end of S2? Nope, she couldn't cope so she snapped. Same with Angel, he had enough so he snapped.
Their friends had to deal with the fallout because they didn't tell them what the hell they did or why until much later.

Angel's control-y-ness (as I see it) isn't a matter of him literally wanting to control other people (I mean, Angel isn't Loki), so much as him disregarding other people's will. For example, in 2x15, Angel goes to Wesley and Cordy's office and demands a book, and when they refuse he threatens them, and Wesley tells Cordy to give him the book (which made Wesley open his stitches). Angel doesn't want them to bow down to him, he just doesn't respect their wishes as much as he should.


Not really. The thing is- all those decision affect her friends, and she still doesn't tell them. It's a pattern of behavior with her, putting her opinion above them and not telling them. That ignorance can sometimes put their lives in danger and people can suffer as a result.

But do I think that means that she's controlling? No I don't, but I'm using the Buffy example to show that its easy to make generalizations about a character who happens to be the leader.

Buffy's actions in those cases can be compared to Angel's actions in 1x08 and 3x21, I'll give you that. 🙂 But Angel's action in the middle of season 2, and in seasons 4 and 5, are on a different level.

I don't have any problem with what Angel did to Connor. He turned a border-line psychotic broken kid into a happy kid with a nice family. More tellingly, Connor doesn't mind at all. He thanks his Dad in the end.
What he did to his friends? That was a bad move, and Angel pays for it because he has to get into bed with W&H.
He also gets access to a world saving amulet, which is handy.

Well, this plays into some philosophical questions. Angel simply erased his son's personality and gave him a new one, thereby (IMO) essentially killing him and creating another person in the process. The Connor that thanked Angel for the mindwipe is not really the same person that was wiped in 4x22, because that Connor died when Angel rebooted his personality. Can I understand Angel's reasoning for doing it? Yes. Is it messed up? Hell yeah. It brings to mind things like Dollhouse and A Clockwork Orange.

And the brainwashing of Angel's friends never really got a proper follow-up, IMO - Wesley discovers the truth and seems to be OK with Angel's actions, because the old memories were painful. And the rest of the group (Gunn, Lorne) either never get their memories back, or they get them back and don't have a problem with Angel's actions. Which is weird.

And again - my point is NOT that Angel is an asshole. My point is that he has a consistent character trait of being overly goal-oriented, often at the expense of other people's choices.

Yes, Angel did kill Drogyn, another dick move. Never said the guy was perfect, but he isn't some controlling megalomaniac either.
The rest of it is evil- necessary evil to stop some greater evils taking place. Again

Angel knows that HE crossed a line and that there might be no going back for HIM. Man, if you look at it that way it almost seems like he's trying to protect his friends from having to make most of those uncomfortable choices.

Like I said, he still gives them the option. It's not like he said 'Well, I've pissed off the Senior Partners and their armies are gonna be here in about *looks at watch* five minutes. Meet me in the alley and bring your weapons, there's gonna be a brawl!'

He gives them a choice. 'I';m doing this, you don't have to.'
But of course most of them had already signed up to W&H willingly (although a lot of people try to blame that on Angel as well) and they all judged that they couldn't just walk away when they had a chance to strike at the very heart. They all raised up their hands- willingly.

I have a LOT of problems with Angel's plan in NFA, but that's a big seperate issue. My point here is simply that he didn't consider other people's opinions when hatching the plan - attacking Drogyn, manipulating the gang, brainwashing the politician into beliving that he's a child-molester, etc... We can debate the merits of the plan on a different thread, but my point here is simple - Angel is very big-picture-y, which makes him disregard other people's choices, which makes him control-y. He asked the gang for their opinion in the end of 5x21, but that was VERY late.

You could absolutely make a case for Buffy being controlling before S7...if you also say that making unilateral decisions and keeping secrets can ONLY mean that somebody is controlling.

Did Buffy ever brainwash someone? Did she ever go on a manipulative, machiavellian plan like Angel does in 5x21? No. Buffy's main character conflict is almost opposite to Angel's - Angel constantly looks for his purpose, to achieve redemption, whereas Buffy constantly wants to escape her purpose as the slayer. Because of this, I think Buffy is not as control-y as Angel.

So it's okay to make a totally unilateral decision if its for the right reasons?
Dana suffers, girls die and yes, it is mentioned in S8 (and S9) where Buffy makes more unilateral decisions like boinking Twilight.
But that's another story.

Here's the thing, Angel can make unilateral decisions, but its not a pattern like his critics like to assert. He does it when it involves himself personally- I mean his body, his inner demons, or his son. He makes those decisions as a mortal man, then as a vampire and then as a father, NOT as some know-it-all leader.
You can take out context all you want but those are the facts that explain his actions.

And if all characters are controlling (I don't believe they are btw) then why is it such a big deal with Angel?

I don't think Buffy IS controlling, just that occasionally she keeps a barrier up between herself and her friends. She is the slayer, she is- to some extent- always alone. Nothing can change that and sometimes that can manifest in keeping secrets. Who else would understand?

Giles can sometimes be controlling, but compared to say, every other Watcher ever, he's actually rather flexible and relaxed in his thinking. He does realize when he methods are counter productive and tires another approach. This is frowned upon by other watchers- not controlling enough, 'too American', too emotionally involved or whatever. But he has his moments- killing Ben, the S7 stuff, etc.

Spike can be controlling about the people he loves- specifically Buffy, but that goes away after he gets his soul for the most part.

Willow is one of the most controlling I think, it comes from all that insecurity she has, but I would never say it was her primary characteristic, only its something that emerges and then she deals with it.

But if somebody does something that affects other people, that doesn't necessarily make them controlling, it just means that their important in the grand scheme of things.

It's not a matter of "OK" or "not OK". I'm not saying that Buffy is awesome and Angel is lame. (Well, I am saying that, but that's mostly because of my own subjective preferences, and it's a different topic entirely). I'm just saying that Angel is more controlling than Buffy. Angel is more of a big-picture, purpose-driven guy (whereas Buffy is a lot more grounded), and Angel's big-picture-ness often makes him disregard other people's choices. That doesn't mean that he's very special or very bad, it's just a character trait, and a lot of people have it (Giles, Wesley, Later Willow, season 7 Buffy, etc...).

Why
is he such a big picture guy? There are several theories.

Is it because he's an alpha male? Maybe. He IS kind of an alpha male - remember Liam? And when he had to serve under Wesley in seasons 2-3, it was very weird for him.

Is it because he's so fixated on redemption? That seems reasonable too, IMO. He always TALKS about it, after all.

Is it because of his curse, which prevents him from seeking happines? I mean, happines is the goal of MOST people, but since Angel literally CAN'T pursue happiness, it'd make sense that he'd be much more obsessive about his bigger purposes.

Maybe it's because of all of those reasons combined?


And again, that doesn't mean that Angel is an asshole, it's just a character trait. Just like Spike has the character trait of always trying to over-compensate for his insecurity by trying to be hyper-masculine and rebellious. It's an unhealthy character trait, and yet it's one of my favorite things about the character.
 
I don't see Angel helping Dawn like Spike did in either way. At best he may outright tell Dawn she's the key because he thinks she should know, but he wouldn't help her try and resurrect Joyce.
 
How would it be worse?

IMO yes because Angel would simply be paying lip service to Buffy's opinion, going through the motions or whatever. He would be letting her opinion influence what he does with his entire existence thereafter.
Sorry, but Angel is not Spike, he's not all about the girl.

I don't think it's some nefarious plot by Angel, just that he made a decision FOR Buffy, without talking with her about it first.

Because it is his body. It is literally the biggest physical thing that happens to anybody on either show- it is like anti-dying, living again, becoming mortal, the Shanshu.
That is absolutely Angel's choice and it is SO big that I don't care if Buffy had stomped her foot and shouted NO from the rooftops, its ultimately Angel's choice entirely.

Well I rewatched it, and Angel clearly came to the oracles with the intention of asking to be turned back.

No he doesn't, he goes to the Oracles to specifically ask if what the Mohra demon said was true, when they battled. Was it smack talk or accurate.

The Oracles said sure, armies are on the rise, the slayer will die sooner than most. Big whoop.
THAT is when Angel makes his choice, he's desperate to avert the destiny as they have seen it and so he says all 'change me back', they say 'we can't go playing around with that' but one of them says that there is one way alone. Angel takes that- because its his destiny, its up to him.

Angel's control-y-ness (as I see it) isn't a matter of him literally wanting to control other people (I mean, Angel isn't Loki), so much as him disregarding other people's will.

See I like him, and I like Buffy, because they are leaders and their opinions/actions often affect more people than them. BUT those opinions always weihg heavily on them. They both feel that weight of responsibility; Buffy might be alone because of her slayer-ness (even now) but Angel is alone because of his circumstances, his curse.
Those decisions, their consequences, have to made by somebody and they got the short end because of who they are- chosen and cursed.

Man, I sound like such a Bangel, but I'm not.

Well, this plays into some philosophical questions. Angel simply erased his son's personality and gave him a new one, thereby (IMO) essentially killing him and creating another person in the process. The Connor that thanked Angel for the mindwipe is not really the same person that was wiped in 4x22, because that Connor died when Angel rebooted his personality.

Hmn, well in that case Buffy and co dies when Dawn showed up in S5.
Their previous selves were 'erased' and replaced with new people with new memories alongside those old ones. Because that's basically what Connor in S5 is, the same kid with other memoires to go along side his old ones. It's just that those new memories are a stabilizing influence (unlike Dawn! 😀)

Was what the monks did really necessary? We don't really know but they did what they did.

And the brainwashing of Angel's friends never really got a proper follow-up, IMO - Wesley discovers the truth and seems to be OK with Angel's actions, because the old memories were painful. And the rest of the group (Gunn, Lorne) either never get their memories back, or they get them back and don't have a problem with Angel's actions.

It's seems obvious to me that the spell was broken and everyone remembered the truth as it actually happened. I mean, Xander refers to what Connor did in S10, so HE knew the truth of it, I'm guessing everyboddy did.
But its like Cordelia in AtS S5- nobody even mentions her death, which is way bigger than all that Connor stuff.

As for the lack of reaction; bigger things. Fred is dead, Illyria is standing about in her corpse, Gunn in (at that point) a hell dimension (I think), they are all in deep with W&H.

Wesley is obviously the most affected by it because well, he gone and ballsed up Connor's life but good. An accident sure, but...well, Wesley thought he knew better than everybody else and made a unilateral decision and an innocent child paid the price....😉

Did Buffy ever brainwash someone? Did she ever go on a manipulative, machiavellian plan like Angel does in 5x21? No. Buffy's main character conflict is almost opposite to Angel's - Angel constantly looks for his purpose, to achieve redemption, whereas Buffy constantly wants to escape her purpose as the slayer.

You could make the argument is all I'm saying. You could say that Buffy makes more decision without the input of her friends than Angel ever has. The reason for that? Well, maybe she's controlling, like you say Angel is. She decides who knows what and who makes the big calls- mainly her and her alone.
It's a viable interpretation.

The only evidence that I see of Angel forcing his will on others- which is what we're saying here- is 'IWRY' (Again, its his body/destiny) and the end of S4 for his son's benefit.

I just don't see that as indicative of Angel's entire outlook or thought process.

. I'm just saying that Angel is more controlling than Buffy. Angel is more of a big-picture, purpose-driven guy

I agree with that last part.

Is it because he's an alpha male? Maybe. He IS kind of an alpha male - remember Liam?

Liam was a womanizing drunken layabout, doesn't really scream alpha male to me. He maybe would've turned INTO one- see Angelus' wish to be the biggest and most terrifying bastard ever.
Angel spent a hundred years or so not being very alpha male-y or controlling. If that was his personality, it wouldn't have remained dormant for so long.

Is it because he's so fixated on redemption? That seems reasonable too, IMO. He always TALKS about it, after all.

'If nothing we do matters, then all that matters is what we do.'
His obsession with big picture thinking/the future/ redeption comes and goes in waves, just like his need for a quick fix to his circumstance- death by sunrise, the war with W&H, trying to get his son back, joining up with W&H.
It's about how Angel sees himself and his circumstances, not everyone else.

Is it because of his curse, which prevents him from seeking happines? I mean, happines is the goal of MOST people, but since Angel literally CAN'T pursue happiness, it'd make sense that he'd be much more obsessive about his bigger purposes.

That's a point. Angel's curse means lack of progress in his life. Can he moves towards happiness? Is he allowed to since his curse won't let him (in his mind)?
Just that knowledge 'you get too happy, too content, and you lose everything' that's a weight no one else can feel, that's why I feel for the guy, I really do.
 
Just about everyone in the entire Buffyverse, even Andrew, has been controlling at some point, imposing their wills on others. That's a normal human trait. No one denies that. Ange just seems to be the most consistent in that behavior.

The only reason for that is that Angel's name is in the title- of course his decisions are going to affect more than other characters, same with Buffy.

By that same token, Buffy is a controlling personality, since I see little other evidence that Angel is overly controlling. Angel makes descions- as the leader- that affect others. So does Buffy, that is their lot. The burden of leadership.

And I will say that Angel was quite content to- in the latter part of S3- follow Buffy's lead/obey her in several different plans 'Enemies' (her idea), 'Choices', Graduation Day (where Angel has to take orders from 'Key guy' 'what fun').
Angel left Sunnydale because he wanted Buffy to move on from him and it would be too difficult for both of them if he stayed.

He developed into a leader AWAY from her, and that's how he stayed. But on BtVS, not really.

No, that makes him the (does it have to be said again?) alpha male.

And I rejected the assertion that Angel is, in fact, an alpha male, since his group dynamic has several strong leaders/voices that he very often listens to- Gunn, Wesley, Cordelia. If they were all lie Fred, then you might have a point.
 
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