Dating scene in your country/part of the country

[This Year's Girl]

I was watching Savage U on MTV which seemed to be some kind of sex ed program, really funny. As part of the program they visited different universities in America, and what stood out to me was that the dating habits in the north of america and south of america seemed to differ a great deal. When it came to heterosexual dating/sex it seemed to be a lot more "courtship" involved in the south for example. I thought that was interesting.

So this got me thinking. I come from Sweden, where dating really isn't that "big". This is just my perception, but even though we date here it seems to me that it isn't that common that you get asked out on a date unless the person is serious about it, you don't really date to find out if you like someone, you date because you know you do. This doesn't seem to be the case in America though? I see it as there it is much more common to date without it being an implication about you liking someone. Kind of? I don't know.

Anyway. I'm curious how the dating scene in your country/part of the country is! Tell me! 🙂

 

[PassionBecoming]

Well, I grew up in a small town (graduating class of 55!) so you pretty much knew everyone and everyone. I never dated someone I wasn't already interested in. I had a couple of boyfriends throughout school and some guys that I "dated" more casually. The husband and I started dating the spring of my senior year, and that was the end of that. 🙂

 

[Evil Angelus 95]

Considering that I've never, in my entire life, been in a relationship, I really wouldn't be able to say with a hundred percent certainty what the 'scene' around where I live is like.

From what I've observed? There are the typical people who have relationships who are really happy for awhile, and then something comes along and makes them break up. Others simply date for awhile, mainly for appearance, and then they drop each other at the drop of a hat.

It's not pretty

 

[btvsfanatic]

In my entire life I've only been with one person and that person is now my husband. So I never dated anyone else, but it seems like the way people date here these days, in one day their "in love" with each other and then the next day their with someone else and sleep around with each other. I'm thankful I'm not like kids these days and that my husband is old fashioned.

In my opinion we need more people who take relationships seriously and who are old fashioned!

 

[Tueuse de Vampires]

I've never really dated. In fact, the first and only time I ever had a date was while I was in the Unites States for my semester abroad. Until not too long ago I thought that was the norm here (well I still kinda think that), but I do have one friend who goes on lots of dates.
Maybe it's just really not my thing, but I do get the impression that dating is a pretty American concept.

I've never been in a relationship, but the way you get together here is more like you meet through friends or something, go to some parties together and at some point if you like each other you just make out or something.

Of course, I live in a student town, so things are in general more on a really casual base. Among my friends it's pretty normal I'd say just to hook up with friends of friends for a while casually no strings attached, until you move on to someone else.

 

[Gum Gnome33]

So, when it comes to American habits, there has definitely been a major change in how "dating" or "courtship" happens throughout the decades, (possibly more drastically so than in other countries). I think that even as recently as a couple of generations ago, there was more an emphasis on dating with the intent to enter into a relationship rather than dating simply based on the fact that you find someone attractive. Because of that, people dated fewer people and settled down quicker, (which is to say nothing about how successful those relationships were btw).

Nowadays, the traditional concept of "dating," ie dinner and a movie, is very often replaced with "hooking up." See someone you like, ask them out, get dinner and then probably, er, get physical, either on the first "date" or after only a couple. Often, people "date" more than one person at a time in order to decide who they like more, and basically the general assumption is that until a couple has a discussion about where the relationship is going, (Key phrase="Are we monogamous?") each partner is likely doing just that. Shopping around. It's sort of awful, but that's generally how it is among single people, at least where I'm from.

I was in the later half of college when I met my (now) husband but definitely before that I played the typical American singles' game, and it wasn't fun. I always wanted to fall in love whereas guys sometimes seemed to have another agenda. And I always fell for it. Think Buffy/Parker. Puh. But that situation is all too common, especially in college. People are running around hooking up with each other, not always focusing on just one person. Things are a bit different as you get older of course, but from what I observe, a lot of it is the same.

Btw, it's so interesting to hear that this isn't the case in Sweden!

 

[Robb Stark]

I think it depends quite a bit on the person. I mean, I'm from Vancouver, living in Tempe, Arizona, and there isn't really a noticeable difference in how dating happens. Or at least, if there is, I haven't noticed it.

For me, I've never been in a real relationship, so maybe I'm not the best person to ask, but "dating" for me is hanging out with someone one-on-one, going to dinner, things like that. I know that isn't the case for some other guys though. There are plenty of guys (and girls, I'm sure) out there who are only interested in the physical parts of seeing someone, but that just isn't really the case for me. Don't get me wrong, I'm a big fan of the physical 😀, and if I'm totally honest here I'm not saying that I wouldn't hesitate to just "hook up" with a girl, but that's just not really all that I'm looking for. I'd like to have a girlfriend, a lot, not just for the sex but for the company as well. To have, well, a friend in someone I'm dating I guess.

But again, pretty much every potential relationship I've had has gone south fast (which, over time, isn't a lot of fun 🙁). It's a lot harder to make it work than T.V. makes it out to be, unfortunately.

More to the question, I think that dating here, in the U.S. and Canada, is pretty big.

 

[Washburne]

Like Angel I don't tan, date, or sing in public so all I'd have to say would be from an outside perspective and since I'm from Sweden as Miki I don't have much to add. Yes, meaningless post.

 

[Ianigsy]

I'm not sure either although I've thought for a while that there seemed to be a thing in America of dating somebody as part of getting to know them whereas in Europe it does seem to be the case that you already know quite a lot about somebody before you start going out with them. Perhaps it has to do with America being made up of people from lots of different backgrounds and nationalities so that if you're interested in somebody from a different group (let's say you're a Latino and the person you're interested in is Jewish) a dating culture evolved of getting to know people on neutral territory so you know whether you're serious enough about somebody to risk going against your community. Whereas until a couple of generations ago in England, there was a culture of being introduced to somebody (so you knew you were both from the same class) and spending time together as part of a social set until you decided to become exclusive.

But then what do I know? I'm still wounded from the speed dating I went to about eight years ago where I met 20 women and not one of them wanted to see me again as long as they lived!

 

[Steven123]

Hmm. Hard to describe it here. There seems to be a "crazy" to be pregnant by the age of 16 here now. There are a number of people who i see who can be no older than 18 that are pregnant and may already have children. Not to judge them, but it just seems to be the "thing to do" nowadays.

Even dating in it's self here isn't a typical thing. Most relationships break up because of what ever and then 2 days later they are with other people lol.

 

[Joan the Vampire Slayer]

Anyway. I'm curious how the dating scene in your country/part of the country is! Tell me! 🙂

In America, people date to get to know each other. For instance, if two people meet make a connection, and are both single, they'll make a date to see where it goes. This mostly based on how busy people are. Making a "date" is a good way to guarantee you'll see each other again. What you're describing sounds more natural, actually.

Savage U is hosted by Dan Savage, right? He's a sex advice columnist/journalist based in Seattle. Dan Savage is very popular. He has a nationwide sex advice column that runs in many nationwide newspapers.

And yes, in the South people are a lot more "traditional" - the men ask the woman out, pay for dates, and women are expected to wait to have sex until marriage, etc. Here in Seattle, Washington US, where I live, people are a lot more progressive - there is more of an acceptance of "alternative" relationships, such as poly or open for example.

 

[EvilBuffy]

People still date? From my experience either a) people who have known each other for many years (usually from school) get together or b) a random hook-up that ends in both parties wanting to hook-up more, so they start a relationship. A good majority of them in my area start that way from what I've seen.

As for the comments about the south, I think it varies from area to area or town to town. I live in the south myself and while a lot of people here aren't what you would call open-minded, there aren't many around here who are waiting for marriage or courting/dating.

 

[kittenpoker]

you don't really date to find out if you like someone, you date because you know you do. This doesn't seem to be the case in America though?🙂

I can't speak for america (I'm learning just to speak for myself and that alone is hard work) ;-) But this is the case for me. Exactly.

 

[Nix]

Well it's a tuff answer for me as most people I know are looking at online dating nowadays. Including myself...that's where I met my current boyfriend, online.

 

[sisterofmercy]

It's more prevalent in Bristol than London. It's far from the whole Skins dating scene stereotype though, but a lot of people tend to meet at house parties or sixth form. I haven't really experienced much of London even after 3 years here to know about the dating scene. I have a date lined up for next month though, going to a gig.

The people in my halls tend to couple up rather quickly though. It's a small uni so the bonds form straight away.