David Comments on His Affair/Marriage

[BuffyElevated]

I remember when this story first came out and I was shocked that DB would do it, but you know, at the end of the day, he's still a human being, and no human is perfect. I'm glad that David and Jaime have been able to work through their problems and that their marriage is stronger for it... It's a rare case that people can work through these kinds of things and stay together, but I'm really happy for them that they've been able to.
A few years ago, I found out my husband had been having a 5-month long affair and it shattered me. Not only was I completely devestated, it was completely shocking to find out that my husband, who I loved and put on such a high pedestal, was not perfect and had done something so atrocious. I was dead set on leaving him, and if he hadn't continuously begged and pleaded for me to give him another chance, we would be divorced right now.
I believe if the cheater is truly sorry for their actions and works hard to understand why they cheated so they and their partner can fix the problems that are going on to have caused them to feel they needed to cheat, it's possible for total reconciliation. It happened with us; we talked and talked until we both understood why and how it happened, and our marriage is much stronger today, after 10 years together, than it ever has been. It is possible to come through situations like this and be a better couple, and I'm happy for David that this seems to be the case.

 

[Dagenspear]

People have this tendancy to expect nothing but greatness from celebrities, which is an extremely unfair thing to expect from anybody REAL. Celebs aren't Gods, they're people, just like us, just like everyone. And to pass judgement on him when people do what he did everyday and aren't attacked like that, is wrong. People aren't trashed like that, but yet he is, because, like all celebs, have this perfect little image forced on them. But if they step out of it and actually be real people with real flaws and everything, then whoa, watch out, because that automatically makes them bad and us better than them apparently. It's not his duty to be perfect for anyone. And even if it was, it's impossible. He's a human being. He screwed up. And I'm sure there are a lot of issues as to why he did. As there always are. But those are private matters to be dealt with between him and his wife.

 

[Cast No Shadow]

People have this tendancy to expect nothing but greatness from celebrities, which is an extremely unfair thing to expect from anybody REAL. Celebs aren't Gods, they're people, just like us, just like everyone. And to pass judgement on him when people do what he did everyday and aren't attacked like that, is wrong. People aren't trashed like that, but yet he is, because, like all celebs, have this perfect little image forced on them. But if they step out of it and actually be real people with real flaws and everything, then whoa, watch out, because that automatically makes them bad and us better than them apparently. It's not his duty to be perfect for anyone. And even if it was, it's impossible. He's a human being. He screwed up. And I'm sure there are a lot of issues as to why he did. As there always are. But those are private matters to be dealt with between him and his wife.

I see what you're saying, I've had friends cheat on their respective partners before, and I've been of the same opinion I have of DB, NOT cool. However, if my friends were to tell their story to TV Week, then I'd expect them to be judged by the wider public, just as DB should.

If he wants it to stay private, then don't talk about it in a magazine. Especially not over and over again.

 

[Dagenspear]

I see what you're saying, I've had friends cheat on their respective partners before, and I've been of the same opinion I have of DB, NOT cool. However, if my friends were to tell their story to TV Week, then I'd expect them to be judged by the wider public, just as DB should.

If he wants it to stay private, then don't talk about it in a magazine. Especially not over and over again.

You ever think that maybe he's asked about it?

 

[Cast No Shadow]

You ever think that maybe he's asked about it?

I'm sure he is, but he's never interviewed alone, his press adviser can expressly ask that it is not discussed, and is there to interject if something on the topic comes up.

Regardless, if you're a celebrity, your personal life is scrutinised, and it's personal opinion when it comes to cheating. I think it's wrong in every sense, and if you're gonna be tempted then you shouldn't be in a relationship, certainly not married.

You might have different views, and that's up to you.

 

[ladydorotea]

if you're gonna be tempted then you shouldn't be in a relationship, certainly not married.

What about their children? If I got your meaning, you think their feelings are secondary to the general sense of moral outrage. I do not excuse cheating, but it is seriously the matter that the couple should resolve between themselves. And I have yet to met a healthy adult male of human species who would never be 'tempted'.

 

[Cast No Shadow]

What about their children? If I got your meaning, you think their feelings are secondary to the general sense of moral outrage. I do not excuse cheating, but it is seriously the matter that the couple should resolve between themselves. And I have yet to met a healthy adult male of human species who would never be 'tempted'.

I'm not sure I understand you... I agree entirely that it should be resolved between themselves, which is why I think he shouldn't talk about it, however if he does talk about it, I think it's fair game for people to comment on it.

When it comes to being tempted, I don't mean tempted in the sense of, "Wow, that's a nice looking girl, if I was single I totally would", I mean tempted in the sense of, "Yeah, I'm gonna hit that."

 

[ladydorotea]

I'm not sure I understand you...

I simply meant that from my perspective keeping a family intact for the sake of the kids outweighs the sense of moral outrage. Therefore staying in the marriage by a man who cheated and regrets it is from my perspective a better choice than him walking away because he know 'he is gonna be tempted'. If they worked it out between themselves - it is their deal.

I agree entirely that it should be resolved between themselves, which is why I think he shouldn't talk about it, however if he does talk about it, I think it's fair game for people to comment on it.

Paparazzi feed on the celebs scandals. Staying silent for him would not have helped because it might be as easily interpreted as him being not remorseful enough, yada. Besides, his wife might have wanted him to comment because she feels better after him apologizing in public. I think he is doing it for her sake mostly.

 

[Cast No Shadow]

I simply meant that from my perspective keeping a family intact for the sake of the kids outweighs the sense of moral outrage. Therefore staying in the marriage by a man who cheated and regrets it is from my perspective a better choice than him walking away because he know 'he is gonna be tempted'. If they worked it out between themselves - it is their deal.



Paparazzi feed on the celebs scandals. Staying silent for him would not have helped because it might be as easily interpreted as him being not remorseful enough, yada. Besides, his wife might have wanted him to comment because she feels better after him apologizing in public. I think he is doing it for her sake mostly.

Oh right, yeah that makes sense, I understand your point. However, I think that staying in a relationship purely for the sake of children never leads to anything good, and that if you are going to be tempted, then getting married and having children is wrong anyway. It's not fair to put your mistakes on other people.

If I ever thought I'd cheat on my boyfriend, I wouldn't stay in the relationship. I think it is possible to know you'll never cheat, because it's selfish, you can overcome temptation.

Yeah, if they worked it out between themselves then that's cool, but that's not what's happening, on his part.

And I think by staying quiet, the speculation would die down much more quickly than if he spoke about it. For example there was that rumour regarding David Beckham and Rebecca Loos, she said it happened more than once, but he never officially confirmed it, so therefore no one knows for sure what did happen.

And yeah, perhaps he is doing it for her sake, neither of us will know, and your opinion does make sense, however I don't think he is, I think he's doing it to make himself feel less guilty, take away responsibility and play down what he did.

 

[Dagenspear]

Paparazzi feed on the celebs scandals. Staying silent for him would not have helped because it might be as easily interpreted as him being not remorseful enough, yada. Besides, his wife might have wanted him to comment because she feels better after him apologizing in public. I think he is doing it for her sake mostly.

Word. There's nothing he can do and have it not be scrutinized by those vultures. The Paparizzi are evil that way.

 

[kittenpoker]

I actually get the "demon" comment. I believe we all (but no, let me just speak for myself), I have in me potential to do good and potential to do bad.... let's say two dogs barking.... sometimes I choose to feed one or the other.... it's all symbols for the same concept, angel/devil on the shoulders - whatever. I get what he's trying to say. And I've had times when I've let the demon in me take control.

 

[VisionGirl]

I remember when this story first came out and I was shocked that DB would do it, but you know, at the end of the day, he's still a human being, and no human is perfect. I'm glad that David and Jaime have been able to work through their problems and that their marriage is stronger for it... It's a rare case that people can work through these kinds of things and stay together, but I'm really happy for them that they've been able to.
A few years ago, I found out my husband had been having a 5-month long affair and it shattered me. Not only was I completely devestated, it was completely shocking to find out that my husband, who I loved and put on such a high pedestal, was not perfect and had done something so atrocious. I was dead set on leaving him, and if he hadn't continuously begged and pleaded for me to give him another chance, we would be divorced right now.
I believe if the cheater is truly sorry for their actions and works hard to understand why they cheated so they and their partner can fix the problems that are going on to have caused them to feel they needed to cheat, it's possible for total reconciliation. It happened with us; we talked and talked until we both understood why and how it happened, and our marriage is much stronger today, after 10 years together, than it ever has been. It is possible to come through situations like this and be a better couple, and I'm happy for David that this seems to be the case.

People have this tendancy to expect nothing but greatness from celebrities, which is an extremely unfair thing to expect from anybody REAL. Celebs aren't Gods, they're people, just like us, just like everyone. And to pass judgement on him when people do what he did everyday and aren't attacked like that, is wrong. People aren't trashed like that, but yet he is, because, like all celebs, have this perfect little image forced on them. But if they step out of it and actually be real people with real flaws and everything, then whoa, watch out, because that automatically makes them bad and us better than them apparently. It's not his duty to be perfect for anyone. And even if it was, it's impossible. He's a human being. He screwed up. And I'm sure there are a lot of issues as to why he did. As there always are. But those are private matters to be dealt with between him and his wife.

I don't think I have ever weighed in on this topic before, so I'll do it this one and only time. I agree with the above sentiments. The bottom line is that I don't personally know the man, I don't know his wife, I don't know the details of this situation, his marriage, or the affair(s). No, the referenced article doesn't have the best comments, but it's not like it's an in-depth conversation.

Adultery/cheating is never right. I have been married 13 years and I would be devestated to find out that my husband had cheated. But I've been married long enough and watched other people long enough now to know that decisions about how to handle things after an affair are complicated. When I was single I would have said that it was a deal-breaker for me. Now, 13 years and 3 children later, with a life built together, I don't know what I would do. It's not that simple anymore. If it was a one-time thing, if the cheater can admit his/her wrong-doing, change his/her ways, and seek help, maybe the marriage would survive. For me it would probably be worth taking a chance on it. But it's hard to say unless you're in this very situation.

We like to think he's a dirt-bag, but the thing is that we have absolutely no idea what happens in the lives of these Buffy actors we think we "love". How do you guys know that James Marsters, SMG, Alexis Denisof, or Tony Head have ever cheated on their spouse? We have absolutely no idea. The only way we know about DB is because it was publicized.

In fact, maybe this isn't right, but I kind of go to default mode when it comes to Hollywood types and assume that everybody cheats, & someone who is faithful is actually an anomaly. It's part of the culture, party of celebrity. Is it right? Hell no! But really, it isn't my life, I'm not married to that person.

All we can do is take things at face value, what's publicly presented. He had an affair, it was publicized by the other person, DB & his wife have stayed together, he has said they are working on their marriage and getting counseling, and there have been no other mentions of further affairs. Believe me, I do not think I have the "whole story." I do not know him, he's not my friend IRL. If they're trying to work things out, great for them! Other than that, I don't have much of an opinion. It doesn't affect my life, and it doesn't affect my love for his characters (or not if I'm not a fan- I am), or my drooling over various photographs of him LOL.

 

[EvilWillow]

There is never an excuse to cheat, and nothing ever makes it okay. I didn't know about this, but it just makes me like DB even less.

And he obviously has horrible taste in women, because the tramp he had an affair with is ruthlessly unattractive and has also had an affair with Tiger Woods. Homewrecker.

 

[Mr Giles]

Lol David Boreanez trying to justify it, my god.

 

[EvilWillow]

[MENTION=8715]miromurr[/MENTION] agrees: Homewrecker? It's not as if she forced them to cheat, is it?

No, but this woman likes to sleep with men that are married. Which means she does it on purpose. She is a homewrecker. I never said David was innocent, in fact I said he was the opposite, rather colorfully, I believe.

 

[Mr Giles]

Homewrecker? More like temptress. Was his marriage so weak that he was that easily tempted? Fair play to DB though, what a playa. Rich and hunky, he can do what he wants.

 

[Professor Walsh]

No, but this woman likes to sleep with men that are married. Which means she does it on purpose. She is a homewrecker. I never said David was innocent, in fact I said he was the opposite, rather colorfully, I believe.

Oh, I didn't really think you thought that, I just had a knee-jerk reaction to the "homewrecker". To me, it's the one in a relationship who has to know how to toe the line. That said, I haven't really been sufficiently interested in this to figure out who she is apart from what you just wrote. I followed the link now, though, and "There could be a demon that kind of comes out and overtakes you"? Spare me. :sick4:

 

[EvilWillow]

I think it's such a cop out for him to use that defense. He made the conscious choice to have an affair. There was no little monster inside him, controlling what he did.

I wouldn't be surprised if he claimed that it was Angelus that made him. LMAO.