JungleTelegraph
Townie
I just started my first fanfic, I'd appreciate some feedback. I'm not too sure about it.
Hope you enjoy!
It's up on fanfiction.net called Story of A Girl
I didn't really know what to say. I thought it best I just sat there and looked pretty, while I let the others talk about their fighting techniques and pre-thought puns. After all, I didn't have to do any of that stuff, I just had nothing else to do. School's closed, along with whatever else was considered entertaining in Sunnydale. Maybe I could go loot the supermarket with Andrew and Anya? That would be rather badass of me. Well, I would consider it badass if there was actually security guards, but there isn't any so I guess that means no badass Dawn. I decided to go anyway. The fresh air would do me good, Andrews Star Trek ramblings didn't do much good, however. I was so bored.
After the supermarket trip I lugged four grocery bags of goods and placed them on the counter. Andrew was close behind, running out of breath, and regaining it once he dumped the load on the counter next to the groceries I brought in.
"I told you it would of been easier to bring one of those shopping carts with us." grunted Anya, as she brought in the last of the groceries.
"And more fun." I added.
That would of made the trip a lot less boring. A smile beamed on my face as I thought of the fun I could of had with riding in the shopping carts.
"Hey, did you gu-" just then the backdoor swung open, leading in a troop of potentials with Faith following in behind. I guess my question of 'Did we get anymore toothpaste?' wasn't that important anyway.
"No! I'm telling you, you can never go wrong with a stake. It's a classic." blurted Rona.
"Whatever. Give me a crossbow any day." sighed Kennedy, while she raided through the groceries we hadn't put away yet. "You guys get any toothpaste? I'm tired of tasting last nights stew in my teeth."
Andrew looked up to the ceiling, slightly open mouthed, with a what looked to be an attempt at a studious look on his face. "Uh, y'know, I don't think the supermarket had any." He smiled, thinking his lame excuse had convinced Kennedy.
She arched an eyebrow in his direction.
"Okay! Fine! I'll go get your toothpaste." Andrew exclaimed.
"No, no, no. I'll go myself. I don't feel like settling for the cheap brands you steal."
Kennedy was a brat. Not in the bad sense, though. Maybe a little in the bad sense, actually. But she was a nice girl. She was accustomed to a certain way of living, but she wasn't stuck up about it. Not usually anyway. She was the only potential who had bothered to spend any time with me, other than Amanda. But she was forced to hang out with me during school hours, except school's closed now and I haven't had a conversation with her since.
"Anyone want anything else from the store?" she asked as she walked through to the dining room.
I tried to think if I needed to get anything I'd forgotten to pick up earlier.
"Hey, wait up! I need to pick up a few things." I shouted as I tried to push through the potentials who were all gathered in a cluster. What's up with that? There's a whole mass of kitchen space around but they all gather in the one corner. Kennedy wasn't like that. She wasn't dependent on the others, I liked that about her. She wasn't afraid to think for herself. Kennedy was waiting on the porch for me.
"Let's roll." she said as she slipped the rest of her jacket on. I didn't think anyone could actually say that in a serious tone, but apparently Kenneday can.
"I'ma rollin'."
Kennedy let out a laugh as we carried on down the sidewalk, "You do that, Dawn."
We reached the store and made sure neither of us trod on the broken glass that had been sweeped to the sides to clear a path. First time Xander and Andrew came to the store, Andrew threw a garbage can through one of the windows to gain entrance. That was ofcourse before either of them checked if the door was open. Everyone left town in such a hurry. Who had time to be locking doors?
"Alright," Kennedy started as she moved over to toiletries aisle, "I'll go get toothpaste and whatever else I can find, you go get what you needed and I'll meet you at the carts. I don't think they'll miss any of them if we take one." she smirked. I knew that smirk wasn't neccessarily aimed for me, but I had thought it would be good manners to smile back.
When Kennedy was away down the aisles, I turned on my heels and folding my arms I let out an exasperated sigh. Contrary to popular belief, I was happy. You wouldn't of guessed it by my body language at that time, but I was. I only came to the store to spend time with Kennedy again. We used to hang out a lot, watching movies when we couldn't sleep through Vi's snoring or the rest of the potentials constant negative babble about 'the end of the world'. They had all been training a lot harder recently with Buffy, so Kennedy really needed her sleep at night. I kind of missed our movie nights.
"God, what am I doing?" I said shallowly under my breath. I didn't need to get anything from the store. I had to pick up something so I didn't look like I had nothing better to do. I didn't want Kennedy to think I was lame enough to lie about wanting to spend time with her. Then, slowly but surely, a smile seeped into my mouth as I realised what I should do.
Hope you enjoy!
It's up on fanfiction.net called Story of A Girl
I didn't really know what to say. I thought it best I just sat there and looked pretty, while I let the others talk about their fighting techniques and pre-thought puns. After all, I didn't have to do any of that stuff, I just had nothing else to do. School's closed, along with whatever else was considered entertaining in Sunnydale. Maybe I could go loot the supermarket with Andrew and Anya? That would be rather badass of me. Well, I would consider it badass if there was actually security guards, but there isn't any so I guess that means no badass Dawn. I decided to go anyway. The fresh air would do me good, Andrews Star Trek ramblings didn't do much good, however. I was so bored.
After the supermarket trip I lugged four grocery bags of goods and placed them on the counter. Andrew was close behind, running out of breath, and regaining it once he dumped the load on the counter next to the groceries I brought in.
"I told you it would of been easier to bring one of those shopping carts with us." grunted Anya, as she brought in the last of the groceries.
"And more fun." I added.
That would of made the trip a lot less boring. A smile beamed on my face as I thought of the fun I could of had with riding in the shopping carts.
"Hey, did you gu-" just then the backdoor swung open, leading in a troop of potentials with Faith following in behind. I guess my question of 'Did we get anymore toothpaste?' wasn't that important anyway.
"No! I'm telling you, you can never go wrong with a stake. It's a classic." blurted Rona.
"Whatever. Give me a crossbow any day." sighed Kennedy, while she raided through the groceries we hadn't put away yet. "You guys get any toothpaste? I'm tired of tasting last nights stew in my teeth."
Andrew looked up to the ceiling, slightly open mouthed, with a what looked to be an attempt at a studious look on his face. "Uh, y'know, I don't think the supermarket had any." He smiled, thinking his lame excuse had convinced Kennedy.
She arched an eyebrow in his direction.
"Okay! Fine! I'll go get your toothpaste." Andrew exclaimed.
"No, no, no. I'll go myself. I don't feel like settling for the cheap brands you steal."
Kennedy was a brat. Not in the bad sense, though. Maybe a little in the bad sense, actually. But she was a nice girl. She was accustomed to a certain way of living, but she wasn't stuck up about it. Not usually anyway. She was the only potential who had bothered to spend any time with me, other than Amanda. But she was forced to hang out with me during school hours, except school's closed now and I haven't had a conversation with her since.
"Anyone want anything else from the store?" she asked as she walked through to the dining room.
I tried to think if I needed to get anything I'd forgotten to pick up earlier.
"Hey, wait up! I need to pick up a few things." I shouted as I tried to push through the potentials who were all gathered in a cluster. What's up with that? There's a whole mass of kitchen space around but they all gather in the one corner. Kennedy wasn't like that. She wasn't dependent on the others, I liked that about her. She wasn't afraid to think for herself. Kennedy was waiting on the porch for me.
"Let's roll." she said as she slipped the rest of her jacket on. I didn't think anyone could actually say that in a serious tone, but apparently Kenneday can.
"I'ma rollin'."
Kennedy let out a laugh as we carried on down the sidewalk, "You do that, Dawn."
We reached the store and made sure neither of us trod on the broken glass that had been sweeped to the sides to clear a path. First time Xander and Andrew came to the store, Andrew threw a garbage can through one of the windows to gain entrance. That was ofcourse before either of them checked if the door was open. Everyone left town in such a hurry. Who had time to be locking doors?
"Alright," Kennedy started as she moved over to toiletries aisle, "I'll go get toothpaste and whatever else I can find, you go get what you needed and I'll meet you at the carts. I don't think they'll miss any of them if we take one." she smirked. I knew that smirk wasn't neccessarily aimed for me, but I had thought it would be good manners to smile back.
When Kennedy was away down the aisles, I turned on my heels and folding my arms I let out an exasperated sigh. Contrary to popular belief, I was happy. You wouldn't of guessed it by my body language at that time, but I was. I only came to the store to spend time with Kennedy again. We used to hang out a lot, watching movies when we couldn't sleep through Vi's snoring or the rest of the potentials constant negative babble about 'the end of the world'. They had all been training a lot harder recently with Buffy, so Kennedy really needed her sleep at night. I kind of missed our movie nights.
"God, what am I doing?" I said shallowly under my breath. I didn't need to get anything from the store. I had to pick up something so I didn't look like I had nothing better to do. I didn't want Kennedy to think I was lame enough to lie about wanting to spend time with her. Then, slowly but surely, a smile seeped into my mouth as I realised what I should do.
S
Skytteflickan88
This is good. Keep writing.