Dead Man's Party

[PrincessBuffy16]

I think the big difference with Angel taking off was that first of all, he was an "adult" so if up and decides to leave, he has the right. Second, Wes and all of them knew where he was and why he was there. Buffy was a minor and even though she is the slayer, legally she had no right to run away from home without her mother's permission. And the big thing was that by Anne, everyone assumed Buffy ran away and would be found when she wanted to be but before that, they didn't even know if she was dead or alive. She was just gone.

And I totally get that she is the slayer and no one could truly empathize with what she was going through, running away was fundementally selfish. Again, it's not as if I didn't have any sympathy for her, what she must have felt like must have been so difficult to deal with. And to want some time alone to cope is understandable, but to completely up and leave without any consideration for her friends and how they would react is still her focusing only on her pain and not how her friends must have felt as well.

So again, I sympathize with Buffy, but ultimately, I think Xander, Joyce etc. had a right to lay into her the way they did.

Legally, she shouldn't run away, emotionally, she had every right.

I don't think they did. I think Xander reacted the way he did because she ran away because of Angel, not because she ran away. Joyce had that right, because Buffy is her daughter, and like you said, she was the minor at the time, but she never had the right to blame Giles for Buffy running away.

 

[The Unspoken]

It seems to me like everybody thought that just because Buffy was the slayer, she shouldn't have taken off. Like if she was a regular person, it was okay to freak out. But she has a job that no one else in the would does, and she's kinda stuck. It's like she can't freak out, she can't leave, she just must stay there to do her job. I hate thinking that, and I don't know if I'm right. But Buffy is a person, not just a slayer. She should have some time off because her life is hell sometimes, and I get the feelings that her friends don't really undertand that completely. They don't know what it's like to be a slayer. No one does. Buffy was under a huge perssure that no one else does. Not them, not the entire world. It was really unfair, and I just don't think they get her enough. They say they do, they're her friends. But don't really get into Buffy's head sometimes. She's kinda alone and lonely. Because no one else in the world has that big of a pressure as she does. No one else is the slayer.

This works both ways, no? Why is Buffy the only one allowed to have an emotional breakdown (not that the others had one, mind you, but they were upset, and rightfully so)?
And Buffy's friends didn't know what she went through, because she ran away and didn't contact them for months. For the remainder of season 3, Willow is very much Buffy's confidante and even Xander supports her with her 'Angel stuff' in an episode like 'Amends'.
And on a more general note: well of course nobody experiences what Buffy goes through. The show exists to showcase her heroic journey and she's the 'one girl in all the world' that must overcome certain trials and tribulations. That doesn't give her carte blanche to alienate her friends though, especially when said friends picked up the slack when the heroine of the piece abandoned her duty.

I don't think they did. I think Xander reacted the way he did because she ran away because of Angel, not because she ran away.

What, you mean out of jealousy? That seems doubtful, considering he encourages her to date Scott Hope in the next episode. Buffy's accusations of jealousy are usually an attempt to derail whatever argument they're having. 🙂

Joyce had that right, because Buffy is her daughter, and like you said, she was the minor at the time, but she never had the right to blame Giles for Buffy running away.

If Joyce had been informed about Buffy's 'extracurricular activities', she wouldn't have reacted the way she did in 'Becoming', and seeing as how in this episode Buffy uses that reaction as a justification for running away...well, you do the math. 🙂