My grandfather's sister is currently in hospital, and she doesn't know why, or where she lives, or who me and my sister and cousins are. My grandfather himself walks to the front door when he wants to go to the kitchen and literally doesn't remember five minutes ago. It's more than just forgetfulness, it's dementia.
We've always known that this would happen, since my grandfather's two other siblings were also losing their grip on reality completely in the years before their deaths. Their father probably had some form of dementia, although it was never actually diagnosed. But the fact that at one point he didn't recognise his wife or children anymore says enough.
My father and aunts will probably also get it. And me, too (I've always looked more, behaved more and thought more like my father's part of the family).
My brain has always been the only thing that sort of made me stand out, the only part of my body that has done some good things for me. And the thought of losing just that part that makes me little bit more than ordinary, or that makes me me for that matter, is one I can't stand (this, btw, is also one of the main reasons I'll never, ever, try anything more hallucinagenic than a cup of coffee, apart from probably pot, which only in some cases has this effect). I have no problem with ageing physically, as long as I have my brain doing what it should do, and as long as I can keep observing what's happening around me, relativise what's happening and so on; my grandmother is my great example here: she suffers terribly from arthritis but she still drives her car around, she took a computer course, she uses the internet, a mobile phone and watches the news everyday. My grandfather on the other hand, doesn't know how to use a normal phone, and everyday at work I see people who are completely freaked out by the mere existence of the pin/chip thingey. I don't want to become like that, but the chances are 25% (and probably even higher) that I will.
Now, I've always promised myself that I will get out before I don't recognise my sister or children (If I have any) anymore, and jump off some freakingly high building or something like that. But what if I forget that, too, in my shorter and shorter moments of lucidity? What if I completely lose myself, like my father's aunt, and only become a nuisance and a painful memory for the people I love? Seriously, I'd rather get cancer (no offence meant for people who have lost loved ones to this disease).
My question to you is, do you have any experience with dementia? Do you know people who have it? And please, please, can someone tell me it isn't as bad as I fear it is? (😉)
We've always known that this would happen, since my grandfather's two other siblings were also losing their grip on reality completely in the years before their deaths. Their father probably had some form of dementia, although it was never actually diagnosed. But the fact that at one point he didn't recognise his wife or children anymore says enough.
My father and aunts will probably also get it. And me, too (I've always looked more, behaved more and thought more like my father's part of the family).
My brain has always been the only thing that sort of made me stand out, the only part of my body that has done some good things for me. And the thought of losing just that part that makes me little bit more than ordinary, or that makes me me for that matter, is one I can't stand (this, btw, is also one of the main reasons I'll never, ever, try anything more hallucinagenic than a cup of coffee, apart from probably pot, which only in some cases has this effect). I have no problem with ageing physically, as long as I have my brain doing what it should do, and as long as I can keep observing what's happening around me, relativise what's happening and so on; my grandmother is my great example here: she suffers terribly from arthritis but she still drives her car around, she took a computer course, she uses the internet, a mobile phone and watches the news everyday. My grandfather on the other hand, doesn't know how to use a normal phone, and everyday at work I see people who are completely freaked out by the mere existence of the pin/chip thingey. I don't want to become like that, but the chances are 25% (and probably even higher) that I will.
Now, I've always promised myself that I will get out before I don't recognise my sister or children (If I have any) anymore, and jump off some freakingly high building or something like that. But what if I forget that, too, in my shorter and shorter moments of lucidity? What if I completely lose myself, like my father's aunt, and only become a nuisance and a painful memory for the people I love? Seriously, I'd rather get cancer (no offence meant for people who have lost loved ones to this disease).
My question to you is, do you have any experience with dementia? Do you know people who have it? And please, please, can someone tell me it isn't as bad as I fear it is? (😉)
Skanky Vamp
both my grandparents on my father's side had it, to varying degrees.. it is difficult.
