Queen of Buffdom
Klutz-o-rama
I saw this and thought it was hilarious, so I couldn't help myself. I thought all you Brits would appreciate the humor. 😀 I hope it doesn't offend anyone. 🙂 Tell me what you think!
Depressed Man Diagnosed as "British"
George Farthing, an expatriate British man living in
America, was recently diagnosed as clinically
depressed, tanked up on anti-depressants and
scheduled for controversial Shock Therapy when
doctors realized he wasn't depressed at all - only British.
Not depressed, just "British"
Mr. Farthing, a British man whose characteristic
pessimism and gloomy perspective were interpreted as
serious clinical depression, was led on a nightmare
journey through the American psychiatric system.
Doctors described Farthing as suffering with Pervasive
Negative Anticipation - a belief that everything will
turn out for the worst, whether it's trains arriving
late, England's chances at winning any international
sports event or even his own prospects to get ahead
in life and achieve his dreams. "The satisfaction
Mr. Farthing seemed to get from his pessimism seemed
particularly pathological," reported the doctors.
"They put me on everything - Lithium, Prozac, St
John's Wort," said Mr. Farthing. "They even told me
to sit in front of a big light for an hour a day or
I'd become suicidal. I kept telling them this was all
pointless and they said that it was exactly that sort
of attitude that got me here in the first place."
Running out of ideas, his doctors finally resorted to a
course of "weapons grade MDMA", the only noticeable
effect of which was six hours of speedy repetitions
of the phrases "mustn't grumble" and "not too bad,
really". It was then that Mr. Farthing was referred
to a psychotherapist.
"Suicidal?"
Dr Isaac Horney explored Mr. Farthing's family
history and couldn't believe his ears. "His story of
a childhood growing up in a grey little town where it
rained every day, treeless streets of identical houses
and passionately backing a football team who never won,
seemed to be typical depressive ideation or false
memory. Mr. Farthing had six months of therapy but
seemed to mainly want to talk about the weather - how
miserable and cold it was in winter and later how
difficult and hot it was in summer. I felt he wasn't
responding to therapy at all and so I recommended
drastic action - namely ECT or shock treatment".
"Hopeless case"
"I was all strapped down on the table and they were
about to put the rubber bit in my mouth when the
psychiatric nurse picked up on my accent," said Mr.
Farthing. "I remember her saying 'Oh my God, I think
we're making a terrible mistake'." Nurse Alice
Sheen was a big fan of British comedy giving her an
understanding of the British psyche. "Classic comedy
characters like Tony Hancock, Albert Steptoe and
Frank Spencer are all hopeless cases with no chance of
ever doing well or escaping their circumstances," she
explained to the baffled US medics. "That's funny in
Britain and is not seen as pathological at all."
Identifying Mr. Farthing as British changed his
diagnosis from 'clinical depression' to 'rather
quaint and charming' and he was immediately discharged
from hospital, with a selection of brightly colored
leaflets and an "I love New York" T-shirt.
Depressed Man Diagnosed as "British"
George Farthing, an expatriate British man living in
America, was recently diagnosed as clinically
depressed, tanked up on anti-depressants and
scheduled for controversial Shock Therapy when
doctors realized he wasn't depressed at all - only British.
Not depressed, just "British"
Mr. Farthing, a British man whose characteristic
pessimism and gloomy perspective were interpreted as
serious clinical depression, was led on a nightmare
journey through the American psychiatric system.
Doctors described Farthing as suffering with Pervasive
Negative Anticipation - a belief that everything will
turn out for the worst, whether it's trains arriving
late, England's chances at winning any international
sports event or even his own prospects to get ahead
in life and achieve his dreams. "The satisfaction
Mr. Farthing seemed to get from his pessimism seemed
particularly pathological," reported the doctors.
"They put me on everything - Lithium, Prozac, St
John's Wort," said Mr. Farthing. "They even told me
to sit in front of a big light for an hour a day or
I'd become suicidal. I kept telling them this was all
pointless and they said that it was exactly that sort
of attitude that got me here in the first place."
Running out of ideas, his doctors finally resorted to a
course of "weapons grade MDMA", the only noticeable
effect of which was six hours of speedy repetitions
of the phrases "mustn't grumble" and "not too bad,
really". It was then that Mr. Farthing was referred
to a psychotherapist.
"Suicidal?"
Dr Isaac Horney explored Mr. Farthing's family
history and couldn't believe his ears. "His story of
a childhood growing up in a grey little town where it
rained every day, treeless streets of identical houses
and passionately backing a football team who never won,
seemed to be typical depressive ideation or false
memory. Mr. Farthing had six months of therapy but
seemed to mainly want to talk about the weather - how
miserable and cold it was in winter and later how
difficult and hot it was in summer. I felt he wasn't
responding to therapy at all and so I recommended
drastic action - namely ECT or shock treatment".
"Hopeless case"
"I was all strapped down on the table and they were
about to put the rubber bit in my mouth when the
psychiatric nurse picked up on my accent," said Mr.
Farthing. "I remember her saying 'Oh my God, I think
we're making a terrible mistake'." Nurse Alice
Sheen was a big fan of British comedy giving her an
understanding of the British psyche. "Classic comedy
characters like Tony Hancock, Albert Steptoe and
Frank Spencer are all hopeless cases with no chance of
ever doing well or escaping their circumstances," she
explained to the baffled US medics. "That's funny in
Britain and is not seen as pathological at all."
Identifying Mr. Farthing as British changed his
diagnosis from 'clinical depression' to 'rather
quaint and charming' and he was immediately discharged
from hospital, with a selection of brightly colored
leaflets and an "I love New York" T-shirt.