depression

[elmo]

Thankyou... it does kinda make sense. Try to put the past behind you... is that what you mean? I understand that and i'm trying. I'm at university and i'm in a long-term relationship. I think that if i can settle my life down then i can settle the memories down. In theory it works anyway. 🙂

I had put it all behind me and was getting on with my life when I started getting these recurring dreams with all the memories from the past. It all kinda threw me off balance. So I went to see a councillor and she said that it was emotions that i had shut up and not accepted. So, i need to accept them before i can move on. I don't know if that's what you mean... but that's what she said. 🙂

Right now i live my life from day to day and sometimes it's hard but sometimes i have good days. On the bad days i try to speak to someone. Even if it's not about the past. Sometimes i don't want to but i make myself. Maybe that's not a good thing but i'm afraid that if i don't then i will be alone. you know?

Anyway, I feel better that i told you all that. And i thankyou for taking the time to read it and give me your advise. you are a very sweet person Frenchy Faith.

Thanks again,

*hugs*

H

I've been depressed since 4th grade. This past spring I was in the hospital for being suicidal and for cutting, the only way I got out was lying to the doctors. I'm still not over it. I feel nothing now, just numb. I'd take feeling depressed then numb any day.

I feel so bad for you. That must be terrible. I've never been at the stage where i've wanted to end my life. I don't know what it's like not to feel anything. I always feel emotional pain. I don't really know if there's anything anyone can say to make it better but just know that I'm here if you want someone to talk to. 🙂

Akasha: I hate people who beat people up. I'm glad that you left him and I'm sorry about what he did to you. I know how you feel about the boards. There's something about telling strangers your problems that helps. Depression can really ruin a person's life but it sounds like you have you own ways of beating it!

Rayne: you are so right about doctors throwing pills at you. It doesn't help most of the time. My aunt has been on and off so many pills that it completely changed her character. I don't agree with that. They aren't helping that way and need to give it more thought.

Angel's Girl 4eva: I hope you get better too. And I'm sure you will. You seem to have accepted that these things that happened in the past have scarred you and you will never forget them. But you will be able to push them aside. That's what I'm hoping to do. Take care... 🙂

The Loyal: I have a friend who is going through the same thing as you. She has no self esteem and takes everyone's criticism to heart. She seems to be spending all her time trying to keep everyone else happy. I think that if you try to please yourself and not so much other people then you might feel a bit better about yourself. 🙂 Don't know if that helped.

Parker Summers: I don't think you being a guy has anything to do with it. Anyone can suffer from depression. I hope you don't have it at the moment. 🙂

Michelle: I'm sorry about your dad. I've never lost someone so close to me so i don't know how you feel. But i can relate to you about the insomnia. There's nothing worse than not being able to sleep. You seem to think more when you're lying awake at night. It must be terrible for your Mum as well. 🙁 I can't imagine. But we're here for you to talk to.

Ok... I'll get back to this thread when i have more time. Take care all of you. I'm thinking of you all.

*hugs*

 

[Jonut]

wow, I've been away for a bit and missed a lot but hey I'm glad to see others talking about their problems.

Elmo - I'm very sorry to hear bout what happened to you, it must be awful and would never want that to happen to my worst enemy. You have to try and move on though and not feel so down about it, your dad shouldnt have the pleasure in ruining your life and I think you need to try and block it out of your mind, no matter how hard it will be and focus on positives and how its over now and things can only get better and in time the pain will fade and you won't feel as miserable.


Falcon - I know exactly how you feel, the tiredness, the apathy, the lack of will to go on. I remember watching a programme about depression and listening to a guy saying I would be in a car or bus and just wish it would crash and I would be incredulous about how anyone could feel so down and think that but last week I was driving with my sis and the car in front of us crashed badly and through all the shock and whatever a part of me wished it was our car and wished it was over. I understand you saying how hard it is to talk bout it to people close to you, I've hidden so much and its just made the cutting worse and the feeling worse. I went to a school consellor and didnt nswer the questions cos I felt like such a freak and gve answers I knew they wanted to hear and because I did that i cut more, and my friend caught glimpses of my scars and exploded. Now I wish I had just been honest from the start because I made her so angry and upset, in turn making me feel worse but now it seems better to have someone i dont have to hide anything round, so I would suggest you try and tell someone you care bout how you re feeling and maybe it will help the crap feeling you're experiencing go away.

 

[Frenchy Faith]

WB Jonut !!! :: wacko2
& I so agree with what you say to Falcon & glad that your friend know now. It might help you I guess somehow.

elmo : Thanky very much for what you wrote, ya made my day.

 

[Jonut]

Thanks Frenchy,

I guess it has helped that my friend knows, shes been trying to get me to talk bout stuff more which I find so hrd to do face to face and its just much easier to be honest instead of mking up excuses why im quiet or why i have stratches on me or whatever. I'm trying my best to get something done bout it, I really wnt rid of all the pain.

 

[Frenchy Faith]

Go go go !!! lol
It's so great that she is trying to make you talk. I know how hard it is, really, lol (it often take like 2 hours to my friend to make me tell her sommink & then, even if I began to talk, I can suddenly stop & she has to do again from the beginning her talk to make me talk), you've very lucky to have such a friend, like I am lucky to have mine.
It's very hard, & there are tons of stuff you would prolly never tell her, but even if it's hard & such then you'll feel better, I swear !
Good luck !!!

elmo : do you tell your dreams to someone ? or write them down at least ? Coz I have this theory (lol) that as long as you don't talk aboutthem, you can't really understand them & so, you can't get rid of them. Not sure tho.
& yep I know what you mean, about fearing to be alone if you don't speak. the hard thing is that the good person to talk to isn't always here when you need. (Like since I moved, I never talk anymore to anyone about wrong stuff, coz I trust only my friend which is in another town. That's why writing is so good I think.)
& when you don't speak, you got all those probs in your head, & other ppl think you got a prob & they go away coz they think you're crazy or sommink ?
Is that what you meant when you said you fear to be alone if you didn't force urself to talk ?

Anyway, take care all (& thanky again elmo *hugs*)