who sits on her a** all day, living off the child support and alimony she steals from him every month.
Yes, it does need to be addressed. And people using child support should, at the very least, produce receipts to show how they use it from time to time.
😡
My mom didn't get alimony, but she did win the house...and his beloved Mustang (the kind some people enter into parades and shows, and perhaps the one thing he truly loved), which Mom made no secret from us that she did out of spite because she knew it would sting. It wouldn't surprise me if her feminist lawyer didn't suggest it as they gave her other really bad advice to provoke Dad into attacking us, including the one time I was sure he was going to kill me and Mom both in a drunk rage...and might've had he been less drunk & stupid at the time, and had the neighbors not called the police (while I hid under my bed cowering and crying in which no one ever came for me). That said, the law typically ignored the restraining order against him (to my knowledge that was the only time the cops showed up fast and took him to jail, probably more for public drunkenness as well as assault), but it would bite him in the butt in divorce court. (But using us like that is evil, it's promoting an agenda while knowingly harming innocents to do so, which is why I call those specific feminists evil, and don't doubt that they're capable of worse--and I'd shared in detail how abusive Mom was but that didn't make a difference, so it was evil of them to put me into an abusive home in the name of feminist politics--apparently designed more for women rather than underage girls.)
I saw very little of the child support, and most was incidental (like paper products Mom got for herself, or getting the food Mom got for herself, though some of that came from welfare). Most of it went to her addictions, though I stole some of her brandy at time to trade with friends for food (unfortunately, no one was willing to trade for the Virginia Slims cigarettes she also got with child support). And I got into the habit of going to stores and the mall when they were likely to have free samples for food, though I had to be careful as they learned to guard against me (as it wasn't about sampling for me, it was about survival).
And then I ran away from home for about 6 months, before the school year ended and returning after the new school year began. She never asked what happened to me or why I came back. I, in turn, was shocked that no one knew or cared. Shocked, and extremely saddened...I know I ran away, but that HURT. Though Mom wasn't being completely honest which I'd find out when I was almost 22.
I was sent back to school and put through a bunch of tests as they weren't sure what to do with me. They knew I'd ran away, and I also learned that Mom had said I'd gone back to Granny's (hundreds of miles away), but they didn't care, and they were hostile to me. This is only
part of the reason why I displayed extreme cynicism toward CPS in another BB thread: supposedly abuse against me was revealed in court, and later I supposedly transferred to another school without any school records requested, and when I come back and say what really happened, there are still no reports and no interviews by CPS.
I ran away a second time and didn't return (for a visit) until I was almost 22, and this is when I compared notes with others (and was also the first time I talked to Dad since the child custody hearings began back when I was 14), and he was mad to learn I was gone for so long while he was paying child support. Yeah, too bad he didn't try to have any contact with me, then he could've known. He didn't care about me, why should I care about him? (But still, Mom should not have gotten away with the crap she did, either.)
Though I shouldn't be too harsh on him. Granny called Mom while I was on the streets and Mom just told Granny that I didn't want to speak with her. The courts gave Mom custody of me ("best interest of the child" my ass), and for some reason believed it. After I returned from my first stint as a runaway, I'd asked about Granny and heard she didn't want to talk to me and would be furious over what I did, and I believed her as well. Granny and I both felt stupid once we compared notes when I was an adult and realized how Mom played us both...and we both should've known better (I can't even excuse myself for being a child at the time then, that was inexcusably stupid on my part).
Though if Mom lost her child support when I ran away, that would be fine by me...though then Mom would try to get me back which made my own position even more precarious (for all the flaws of being a runaway, I still found it preferable to the alternative, at least the second time I ran). I was 17 when I overheard 2 women in a convenience store talking. As best I recall, one woman had just gotten her child support check and wanted to use it somehow with the cashier to buy a case of beer and get change back. Both women commiserated on how little responsibility men had in rearing of children, ignoring that this was about a case of beer! I was so filled with rage that I wanted to destroy the beer, but I knew that would not only draw police attention to me which could get me sent back to Texas, but that the mom would take it out on her children...her victims.
In retrospect, I wish I'd made a deal with Dad to push really hard to live with him during the child custody hearings in exchange for him letting me stay with Granny later. I know he'd accept that deal as it would get him out of paying child support (he was still out of house and car, though, but it's something), and that would put me into a home that was actually loving and stable rather than abusive and exploitative. But I was only 14 with no real understanding of the legal system for that to occur to me. Pity that it didn't occur to Granny, Dad, or Dad's family as my life would've been very different and I'd have been spared some serious traumatic events.
I hate how all that is still going on for children today.
🙁
