Discount COVID-19 vaccinations!! Get them while they're still available!!!

[Anyanka Bunny Slayer]

For the mere price of a newspaper, you can be free of your health concerns! There's no need to fear. You can trust me. 😊

I accept credit cards, sacrifical virgins and loads of other things. Never fear, I am a professional. And I want you to be healthy! ❤️
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Therefore, sign up down below if you're interested in this once in a lifetime offer!!!!! Remember, your health and well-being is IMPORTANT to me. 😈

 

[Stake fodder]

Oho! I can beat any price on the market! This offer has no time limit! Vaccinate yourself, your children, your dog all for the low, low price of Zero dollars!! Meet me at the corner pharmacy and I will set you up with the finest product available. Accept no substitutes!

Act now, and you will also receive for no extra charge this lovely proof-of-vaccination card, hand-printed and accepted at all international outlets! Fly anywhere, cross borders, impress your friends!!

BUT WAIT, THERE'S MORE!! Call in the next 15 minutes, and you will also receive a free lottery ticket, or marijuana joint, OR BOTH!!

Don't wait, folks! This offer is available only for a limited time. Call now, 1-800-anypharmacy. Don't be the last on your block to get this fabulous deal!!

(All taxes included. Offer available only for 12 and over. Eligibility for dogs TBD. Marijuana not available to those under 18. Border crossing not guaranteed. Offer available while supplies last.)

 

[TriBel]

(All taxes included. Offer available only for 12 and over. Eligibility for dogs TBD. Marijuana not available to those under 18. Border crossing not guaranteed. For ideological reasons, offer is only available to people resident in the US and while supplies last. Those who believe the earth is round should go through established channels).

Mended it for you. 😉

 

[ILLYRIAN]

There are times when I feel so worried, like why Anyanka Bunny Slayer crossed out the sacrificial virgins, why has she got enough sacrificial virgins. Were those sacrificial virgins male or female? Then there is the other concept, were the virgins ex sacrificial virgins or soon to be sacrificial virgins?
I won't even begin to guess on them being virgins of sacrificial intent! -- er yup, I think I said that right.