Do you think you can be in love with a T.V. character?

[Robb Stark]

Kind of a silly question, I know, but I'm asking. Do you think you can? I just finished re-watching the entire Buffy series, and being totally honest here, I don't think I could come up with someone more perfect to be with than Buffy if I tried. Just everything about her is exactly, almost to the letter, what I'd want in someone I'm with. Do you know what I mean?

 

[BuffyElevated]

How do I put this without hurting feelings? Hmmm... I think it's normal to fall in love with the idea of a character, with the personality traits that make that character who they are, but if someone is actually in love with a fictional character, I think that person needs an intervention or something to help them realize that there is a line between fantasy and reality.

 

[white avenger]

I think that person needs an intervention or something to help them realize that there is a line between fantasy and reality.

Yeah, fantasy is usually much more fun. But fantasy can't kiss you good night or stand by your side when you face a crisis.

I think that it's okay to fantasize about a fictional character. I've been having an imaginary affair with Vampirella for decades now. But I do recognize the difference between what that fantasy and the love that I feel for my wife. As long as you can keep fantasy and reality in their proper place, I don't see any real harm in it.

 

[Nix]

I don't think you can fall in love with a character in real life. I think you can appreciate and like a character a lot and fantasize about one in your dream world but not in reality. You have to keep fantasy and reality totally separate. Does that make any sense?

 

[Jodast]

It's fun thinking about why you like a character as they are portrayed on screen and what makes them likeable. Even thinking that someone would make an ideal friend, partner or whatever, but to actually fall in love with a character which you know from the outset is fictitious and being played by an actor or coming from the imagination of a writer is a bit on the unhealthy side.

 

[Robb Stark]

How do I put this without hurting feelings? Hmmm... I think it's normal to fall in love with the idea of a character, with the personality traits that make that character who they are, but if someone is actually in love with a fictional character, I think that person needs an intervention or something to help them realize that there is a line between fantasy and reality.

No, believe me, I get it. I liked what you said, falling in love with the idea of a character. I think that's what I was shooting for. Trust me, I know the fiction/reality line (really).

I suppose that's what I'm doing, falling in love with the idea of Buffy. Trouble is, ugh (trying to figure out a way to word this without sounding like an idiot, which I'm now recognizing is quite the task), to me she's just the perfect ideal. Like, I was seeing this girl not too long ago, and I was finding that whenever we were making out, I um...wasn't thinking about her (okay, I think I officially failed at the not sounding like an idiot objective).

Maybe part of the problem is that it's been a while now since I've had a real relationship that I've started just, I don't know, fantasizing about what the perfect one would be to me. Really hope that doesn't sound too lame.

 

[Jodast]

Maybe part of the problem is that it's been a while now since I've had a real relationship that I've started just, I don't know, fantasizing about what the perfect one would be to me. Really hope that doesn't sound too lame.

What's the hurry? Assuming that the info you gave that shows at the sides of posts is accurate, you're 23 years old. There is PLENTY of time to meet the person who is right for you. That's what dating is for; you meet someone, you see if you're what the other is looking for. If so all well and good and if not, then you both move on. Obviously it's a little more complicated than that but that's the general idea. I get that if you have been hurt in the past fantasy is a way to shield yourself from the harsh reality of painful experiences.. Don't worry we've all been there.

But trust me, when you find the one that is right for you, you won't be fantasizing about anyone else when you're making out.

 

[EVIL UU]

Sure you can, look at Japan, they've built an entire industry on that alone. Never underestimate human capacity to love.

Of course these feelings will last as long as your brain keeps bombarding you with those wonderful chemicals ( around 6 months ) though I have to say, certain fans of a certain peroxide-loving animated corpse seem to be immune to that process.

So have fun, enjoy it while it lasts because weird love is better than no love.

 

[kittenpoker]

No, believe me, I get it. I liked what you said, falling in love with the idea of a character. I think that's what I was shooting for. Trust me, I know the fiction/reality line (really).

I suppose that's what I'm doing, falling in love with the idea of Buffy. Trouble is, ugh (trying to figure out a way to word this without sounding like an idiot, which I'm now recognizing is quite the task), to me she's just the perfect ideal. Like, I was seeing this girl not too long ago, and I was finding that whenever we were making out, I um...wasn't thinking about her (okay, I think I officially failed at the not sounding like an idiot objective).

Maybe part of the problem is that it's been a while now since I've had a real relationship that I've started just, I don't know, fantasizing about what the perfect one would be to me. Really hope that doesn't sound too lame.

First of all, Buffy is totally my ideal woman too! Secondly, you're being way too hard on yourself - if I may say so. You don't sound like an idiot at all.

And thirdly I can just echo what Jodast said. Patience grasshopper. You'll meet the person who best fits with you when the time is right. We cannot rush or force these things - even though sometimes I know we want to. It's kinda out of our control (I believe)

and in the meantime, totally fantasize about buffy - also you might want to ask yourself what it is - precisely - about her that turns you on - and then you may more easily recognize those qualities in the people you meet.

 

[Robb Stark]

What's the hurry? Assuming that the info you gave that shows at the sides of posts is accurate, you're 23 years old. There is PLENTY of time to meet the person who is right for you. That's what dating is for; you meet someone, you see if you're what the other is looking for. If so all well and good and if not, then you both move on. Obviously it's a little more complicated than that but that's the general idea. I get that if you have been hurt in the past fantasy is a way to shield yourself from the harsh reality of painful experiences.. Don't worry we've all been there.

But trust me, when you find the one that is right for you, you won't be fantasizing about anyone else when you're making out.

Ya, I know (I'm actually 22. I screwed up when I input my age on the sign up). I know that there's no hurry. I know we're straying a bit into therapy territory here, but you kind of hit the nail on the head I guess. I guess, in a way, Buffy, the show, the character, whatever, has been a bit of an escape, a shield. I know it's nothing permanent, but hell, it helps.

 

[Robb Stark]

First of all, Buffy is totally my ideal woman too! Secondly, you're being way too hard on yourself - if I may say so. You don't sound like an idiot at all.

And thirdly I can just echo what Jodast said. Patience grasshopper. You'll meet the person who best fits with you when the time is right. We cannot rush or force these things - even though sometimes I know we want to. It's kinda out of our control (I believe)

and in the meantime, totally fantasize about buffy - also you might want to ask yourself what it is - precisely - about her that turns you on - and then you may more easily recognize those qualities in the people you meet.

Thanks. It's actually been nice to hear the responses. You and Jodast have been great. I think that's a good idea, identifying what it is that gets me about Buffy and trying to find those traits in people I date.

I also liked what you said, until then, I don't think there's a problem having Buffy on the mind. I kinda said this in a post to Jodast, it's just nice to fantasize about her and, I don't know, as crazy as this might sound, imagining that I'm with her just makes me feel better. When things get tough (and again like Jodast said, they inevitably do), it's just comforting, dreaming about her, you know?

I really do need to find someone like Buffy. 😱

 

[Jodast]

I really do need to find someone like Buffy. 😱

You're not the first guy to think that a capable, strong-minded, beautiful woman is ideal girlfriend material 🙂 Have faith (she's kind of like Buffy but with more 'tude🙂 ), sorry what I mean is you'll find her and you'll know it when you do. For now keep the dream alive and keep looking 😉

 

[sosa lola]

I think you get obsessed with a character; you think about the character all the time, you mainly wanna post about it in the net, you write fics and do fanart mostly about this character. I'm like that with Xander, even though it started it wear out lately. I think it's normal, as long as you don't go overboard with it like I did. Man, I'm a one obsessed Xander junkie. 😀

 

[Groge]

Not sure about 'love' exactly but you can certainly have a huge crush on them. Almost to the point of obsession, but I wouldn't call it love. I think you just get really attached to the character and care about them so much that they seem real.

 

[ChrissTheFreak]

Yes. It's more of an obsession tho. lol. You can't breathe, You can't sleep and you can't stop thinking about them. It's not a bad thing. Sometimes characters are better than real life. At least they will never let you down.. 🙂 In my case it's not like I want to be with a particular character, it's more of a friendship... If you know what I mean.

 

[SinisterPledge]

It's not for anyone to say you can or can't be in love with a character from a TV-series. However, you might misinterpret those feelings you have for Buffy. You might just be really hooked on the show, the character. Like, really looking upto her and liking the idea/characteristics/looks. Buffy's personality might be the very personaliy that you prefer and one day you'll meet someone who is like that. Add that with the fact that SMG is attractive and you got yourself a crush of sorts.

I really don't think it's weird at all. Although the character doesn't physically exist, she exists mentally, as a thought and that thought has been presented by the series and the actress. Sure you can't make physical love to her, but love isn't all physical...

 

[Washburne]

People define love in different ways so I don't think anyone can say what you can or can't be. There's different kind of love. Most of the time love doesn't include sex and that kind of attraction. Attraction is another thing. When looking for a partner mixing both is the best obviously. From love attraction can be found and initial attraction can prove to be pretty useless once you get to know them. Feels like that got off topic.

The thing is, in the real world no one is perfect. Even if it sure can feel that way for some or a long time. I think many, if not all, have their image of a perfect partner at one point or another in their life. Nothing wrong with that. Got to have something to aim for. The pro with made up people is that we can limit them to what we see/read/think hence they seem perfect. The problem being, love isn't as easy as that. You don't calculate love. You don't decide who to fall for, or what sex they are which some seem to think. Attraction, lust and loneliness among others (being under the influence can also be of "help") can definitely screw with our emotions and we're back to what your definition of love is. I don't expect everyone to agree with me. Just a one person opinion. I know we got members that don't think they can't be in love with fat and/or ugly person. To me though, if you're in love you'll always find beauty them.

As been said, keeping to that imaginary person can be a way to shield oneself from getting harmed. Trust me, I know a lot about that. But once/when/if you find someone in real life nothing can compare to it. At least during the honeymon phase when everything's easy and you're on cloud 9.

Who have patience, who wants to wait for the "one" or at least one that'll do? Not many. Doesn't matter if you're 15 or 40. Sometimes reality sucks. You'll learn to live with it.

Not sure any of that made much sense.