Question Do You Think...

[Deus Ex Machina]

Wow, my first thread (second if you want to get technical about it), and I hope I have an interesting topic for you all.

Typically I see during the great debate of "Oz vs Tara: Who was better for Willow" that people pick Tara over Oz because they make the claim that Willow only loved Oz because he loved her and admired her. That what she and Tara had was true, pure love because Tara didn't do that.

However, I think that's a bit false and I'm hoping others would agree. In both instances Oz and Tara seemed to idealize Willow at the beginning of their relationship, they both expressed concerns with her magic use, they both broke up with her only for Willow to pursue them and they both came back of their own free will and practically for the same reason (Willow kissage). To me it seems that the relationships were basically mirrors of one another with just a few minor differences.

If that is the case, then couldn't it be said that Tara was basically loved by Willow because Willow loved the attention? In which case then it could also be said that Willow has never really been in love with another person but with the attention given to her by the person at that time. Hell, even Kennedy is beginning to show the same similar steps Oz and Tara took. Willow mentions Oz is in a band and that's so cool, Tara practices magic which is also cool and Kennedy is a slayer, another cool thing! It just feels like Willow is using their attention and their status in the world to form connections.

Oh dear, then I think this would mean that the only true love she experienced was Xander!

So what say you fellow forumers? Did Willow love Oz/Tara because of who they were or because of the attention they gave? Or do you think it was one over the other?

 

[Chosen Enemy]

I'll start but saying I don't prefer one ship over another when it comes to Willow. Except Kennedy, but it didn't have anything to do with Willow, I just thought she wasn't a very good person and didn't deserve Willow. I don't mind of Willow is with Oz or Tara. I think they both made her happy, even very happy. And really really don't agree with the saying that Willow was with Oz just because he treated her nicely and showed affection towards her. Because I saw pure love between the two. But that doesn't mean she didn't feel that way with Tara as well. And I also don't think she was with Tara only because of those reasons.

I actually didn't see much difference beteen the two relationships. Yes, they were different in a way, but besides the fact that Tara was a woman, I think she loved both, and there were deep and honest feelings. Oz was good for her just like Tara.

Bottom line: everyone that makes Willow happy, and is a good person, is right for her.

 

[PrincessBuffy16]

I don't think their relathionships were similar, and I think their difference was kinda the point.

I'm more a Woz fan, but I don't hate Tillow. I love how Oz and Willow began, and how he fell in love with HER, and not in how she looks like. They were cute, and I would like to find that aspect of their relathionship in my own life. With Tillow I can't say so. I go 'awwww' to some of their scenes, and that's it.

 

[Deus Ex Machina]

I don't think their relathionships were similar, and I think their difference was kinda the point.

In what ways do you find their relationships different?

And I do like both ships but it always surprised me when people said that Willow was with Oz because of his admiration for her but quick to say Tara's admiration came from a place of love. It baffled me.

I hope no one takes my posts or questions as a "RAWR, COMBAT WITH ME MANNER" I do mean them in the most innocent, curious manners.

 

[Doppelgang]

I think with Oz, Willow liked the fact that she was with a cool person who was in a band; with Tara, it was a more personal and intimate connection, however, I think something was missing even there as we saw building up to the season 6 finale, in which it was only Xander who could get through to her.

 

[brinkster130]

So what say you fellow forumers? Did Willow love Oz/Tara because of who they were or because of the attention they gave? Or do you think it was one over the other?

Willow might have noticed Oz and Tara initially because they gave her attention, but I believe that Willow got to know each of them and fell in love with both of them. I never believed Willow loved one more than the other, her and Oz just didn't work out and the opened the door for Tara.

I do agree that both relationships have several similarities.

 

[Deus Ex Machina]

I think with Oz, Willow liked the fact that she was with a cool person who was in a band; with Tara, it was a more personal and intimate connection, however, I think something was missing even there as we saw building up to the season 6 finale, in which it was only Xander who could get through to her.

What do you think was missing? And I never understood Willow only liking Oz because he was in a band and cool. I think she also liked Tara because she was into magic and very recluse so she was all Willow's. If Tara wasn't into magic would then Willow and Tara even have gotten together?

 

[Dagenspear]

You make an interesting point. One that I never considered before.

 

[Skytteflickan88]

Typically I see during the great debate of "Oz vs Tara: Who was better for Willow" that people pick Tara over Oz because they make the claim that Willow only loved Oz because he loved her and admired her. That what she and Tara had was true, pure love because Tara didn't do that.

Wait, Tara didn't love and admire Willow? I assume I misunderstood.

 

[FlowerPower]

If that is the case, then couldn't it be said that Tara was basically loved by Willow because Willow loved the attention? In which case then it could also be said that Willow has never really been in love with another person but with the attention given to her by the person at that time. Hell, even Kennedy is beginning to show the same similar steps Oz and Tara took. Willow mentions Oz is in a band and that's so cool, Tara practices magic which is also cool and Kennedy is a slayer, another cool thing! It just feels like Willow is using their attention and their status in the world to form connections.

Oh dear, then I think this would mean that the only true love she experienced was Xander!

So what say you fellow forumers? Did Willow love Oz/Tara because of who they were or because of the attention they gave? Or do you think it was one over the other?

I don't get how Willow didn't love Oz and Tara for them. If Willow's love for Oz was just about validation, I don't see her babying him on wolf nights to the point of feedings and readings of Call of the Wild or being unable to sleep at the thought of him possibly hurting someone in Beauty and the Beasts or her move to try to protect him when the Mayor was all threatening in Graduation Day or calling when they had sex the best night of her life and on and on. D'Hoffryn, himself, said that Willow's pain at losing Oz pierces interdimensional walls and we saw how utterly devastated Willow was when he left. Not the attitude of someone who's just missing her yes-man.

As for Tara, Willow was willing to take care of a permanently brainsucked Tara for the rest of her life. No "Willow gets a worshipful magic partner" there. Willow risked possibly friendship-ending disapproval from her best pals TWICE- in coming out and standing up for Possibly!Demon!Tara, seconds after Tara messed with the Scoobies' heads and almost killed them in Family. (Willow was already on the "She just made a mistake" train while Buffy is is still on, "She almost got us killed.")

If any of those three were into the other just because of magic and validation, it was the basis for Tara being into Willow.

 

[zobothehobo]

I am a Tillow shipper. I don't think Willow only loved Oz because he admired her. I think he fit where she was in her life. He was more "cool" than her... and he helped her to come out of her "I'm so not cool" shell.. be more unfiltered. I think people forget that she also admired him. He was so cool... and he didn't say much. But what he did say was always so interesting. He was different... smart, but an underachiver. Not a jock, but still not "uncool." I think Willow envied him. It made sense to me that their relationship didn't work well in college... because the dynamic of it had totally changed. That part, the part where she looked up to him... that part changed. That and he cheated on her and then left town.

 

[FlowerPower]

I think people forget that she also admired him. He was so cool... and he didn't say much. But what he did say was always so interesting. He was different... smart, but an underachiver. Not a jock, but still not "uncool." I think Willow envied him. It made sense to me that their relationship didn't work well in college... because the dynamic of it had totally changed. That part, the part where she looked up to him... that part changed. That and he cheated on her and then left town.

She did admire him and that fed into love. When Oz gives his "Willow-kissage" speech in Innocence, you can really see Willow see him in a totally different way. She saw him before as just a reasonably attractive and nice guy to go out with and possibly make Xander jealous. After Oz gives that speech, she realizes what an amazing person he is. She realized that Oz is an incredibly honest, deep person and won't just give her what she wants if it's not authentic and deeply felt. It was incredibly appealing to Willow who is besieged by fakeness from superficial classmates to insincere, ice-cold parents to the fact that she has to lie about fighting evil and hacking all the time. Through S2-3, Oz constantly showed why he was an amazing person and his wolf problems brought out Willow's protective instincts so I really think that she started to fall in love with him in Innocence and fell progressively deeper in love from Innocence to Graduation Day.

I think that Willow continued to admire him in S4. Even after everything that he did to her, I put a lot of weight in her fond response to Oz keeping his cool, "Good, because you were such a spaz before" and her admiration of his complete mind-transformation compared to her just being in Sunnydale. I also think that Willow was cognizant of his flaws going back to yelling at him from playing hot and cold in Phases. However, there were seeds of them growing apart in S4, aside from the cheating, when Oz cut class repeatedly in Beer Bad and ignored Willow giving him the bullet points of the class he missed because he was enraptured with Veruca. I think Willow thought that they would be much more of a Power Couple in college. ;-)

 

[BuffyElevated]

I like both relationships for Willow, but I definitely prefer Woz. I don't think she loved Tara more than Oz; I think the connection she shared with each of them was just different. With Oz, he was her first love and he was partially responsible for the more confident Willow we see starting in Season 4. He encouraged and supported her, and that was exactly the kind of love that Willow needed at that point in her life.
Willow's relationship with Tara started over their magical bond. It definitely progressed into something deeper, but that was always the root of their relationship; the fact that they did magic together, which was very seductive to Willow.

 

[Dagenspear]

I am a Tillow shipper. I don't think Willow only loved Oz because he admired her. I think he fit where she was in her life. He was more "cool" than her... and he helped her to come out of her "I'm so not cool" shell.. be more unfiltered. I think people forget that she also admired him. He was so cool... and he didn't say much. But what he did say was always so interesting. He was different... smart, but an underachiver. Not a jock, but still not "uncool." I think Willow envied him. It made sense to me that their relationship didn't work well in college... because the dynamic of it had totally changed. That part, the part where she looked up to him... that part changed. That and he cheated on her and then left town.

Why bring that up? Lol.