Does Buffy (the show) attract a lot of people suffering serious confidence problems?

[Christopher]

Everybody knows that there is a lot of subtext, parallels and hidden messages in Buffy. Since coming onto this forum I've observed that a significant percentage of people here are more then willing to talk about their misfortune at great length and hold themselves in very low regard, even inserting these things into random threads on occasion. Could there be a link between the shows appealing to people with problems due to the issues it deals with, or is it just a byproduct of Buffy primarily being aimed at the group of people that would most likely have a lack of confidence and many anxieties regarding themselves?

Teenage/early twenties girls + internet message board = socially stilted demographic.

That is a generalisation but I can't believe how much people on here are down on themselves, other forums I've used in the past have not been like this. If you think I'm talking shit please let me know but I can't help but think that something about Buffy (beyond her being a girl that rises above others and her problems) makes it a huge form of escapism and sometimes unhealthy idolism to many socially awkward people, despite the real life issues often reflected in the storylines maybe being a bit too close to home.

 

[This Year's Girl]

I don't think it has to be about that. Simmels theory about "the stranger" brings an interesting dimension to it. According to Simmel the stranger is someone that are both close and far away and with a position in a relationship that is spatial - the stranger is always a potential wanderer and not someone who is "fixed". This makes people confide and tell things to the stranger that they usually wouldn't. The stranger doesn't have to be a specific type of person, Simmel believed that we are all strangers in various contexts. If you apply this to the internet I think it explains a lot - it's easier to open up to someone that you don't know. Like this:

Because he is not bound by roots to the particular constituents and partisan disputes of the group, he confronts all of these with a distinctly objective attitude, an attitude that does not signify mere detachment and nonparticipation, but is a distinct structure composed of remoteness and nearness, indifference and involvement. Confidences & secrets are thus more likely passed to Strangers.

In short, it can be easier to talk about difficult things with people that you have a "stranger"-relationship with. Note that the stranger isn't about someone being gone tomorrow or that the relationshio isn't meaningful or can form strong bonds, it's just another way of interaction. Not more postive or negative than other relationships.

 

[StarSlayer]

Everyone has problems, everyone goes through tough times. Some of us watch Buffy when we're down on ourselves or even when we're feeling happy. Yet, if some of us get inspiration or a new outlook on things from an iconic character or other characters in the show, where's the harm in that? That's what a lot of movies and TV shows do. Sure, there's some escapism involved, but at the same time, many of us relate to the characters because of personal things we've gone through, whether it be self-esteem and confident issues or other things. If watching Buffy or even Angel gives some of us a confidence boost (although they aren't the only TV shows that can do this), I don't see where that's a problem. 🙂

 

[Doppelgang]

There's an element of escapism in all fantasy programmes. But, I have to ask, escape from what? Doesn't that assume one reality relative to which everything is judged, but who decides this standard?

Buffy can be a source of strength and inspiration for people going through difficult times, it can help you to get through these times. I can say certainly it has helped me in my social life, not hindered me. 🙂

 

[StarSlayer]

Christopher agrees: Nobody said it was a problem.

You mentioned that something about Buffy could make it an unhealthy form of idolism to socially awkward people, and I was just saying I don't think it does. 🙂

 

[mayfever]

You know, this is actually something I have wondered myself. I don't post on too many other forums (two more, to be exact) and both of them are quite different from this one, especially regarding the amount of personal information that users volunteer. It's weird though, I actually catch myself sharing more on here than I would on the other two boards. However, I can assure you that I am definitely *not* socially awkward. I'll be the first to admit that I'm a geek in every sense of the word, but I do have a large circle of friends who have completely different interests and I go out a lot. I admit that I have some confidence issues (seriously, who doesn't?), but all in all I manage to hide it quite well.

 

[fly on the wall]

I'm not sure about this. On the one hand, it makes sense that a show about overcoming turmoil would attract people who..well, want to overcome turmoil. But I'm unsure about the specificity of confidence problems, insecurity, etc.

For me, I became a Buffy fan when I was eight years old. I was a pretty happy kid so I can safely say I wasn't attracted to the show for any darker reason. It was just funny and upbeat and interesting to me, that was it. I stopped watching Buffy when I was eleven or twelve, and didn't get back into it until I was seventeen. At the time, I was horribly depressed, and watched the show as a way to distract from that depression. It was therapeutic, honestly, to watch a show about someone fighting their demons. That wasn't the WHOLE thrall with the show...obviously I still found it funny and upbeat and interesting. I could just relate to it in a new way.

I don't think that the overall attitude of one internet forum can be a good indicator of the fanbase as a whole, though. I mean, it could just be that we're all a lot more sensitive around these parts than other areas of the internet. 🙂

 

[Goldilocks]

I see your point.. But I when I watched Buffy for the first time, I was quite young and I had no issues.. In my case, I believe it is a coincidence..

 

[BuffyElevated]

I don't think this is necessarily true. When I was in high school, I had my issues just like every normal teenage girl, but I wasn't socially awkward; I had a lot of friends in all the different groups at school, and for the most part I was generally a well-adjusted girl.
If anything, I think watching the show gave me inspiration to be myself and always do what I thought was right, in any situation. I definitely identified with certain aspects of the show, such as Willow's hard-core crush on Xander that was not reciprocated (for a while at least). I definitely don't think, though, that ALL or even most people who are fans of the show are socially awkward people. In my experience, people who are hard-core fans of the show are highly intelligent people who appreciate it for its humor and characters, not because they overly identify with the underdogs of the show.

 

[Flannen]

Everybody knows that there is a lot of subtext, parallels and hidden messages in Buffy. Since coming onto this forum I've observed that a significant percentage of people here are more then willing to talk about their misfortune at great length and hold themselves in very low regard, even inserting these things into random threads on occasion. Could there be a link between the shows appealing to people with problems due to the issues it deals with, or is it just a byproduct of Buffy primarily being aimed at the group of people that would most likely have a lack of confidence and many anxieties regarding themselves?

Teenage/early twenties girls + internet message board = socially stilted demographic.

That is a generalisation but I can't believe how much people on here are down on themselves, other forums I've used in the past have not been like this. If you think I'm talking shit please let me know but I can't help but think that something about Buffy (beyond her being a girl that rises above others and her problems) makes it a huge form of escapism and sometimes unhealthy idolism to many socially awkward people, despite the real life issues often reflected in the storylines maybe being a bit too close to home.

Firstly, I think there's a little overreaction as to the 'state' of the members here. Some members do talk about their problems yes, problems they have because they are HUMAN not because they're Buffy fans. We all have problems and the extent to which we discuss them and support each other, for the most part, is a demonstration of the community we have here. We pick each other up and we offer each other support.

Some people may find it a form of escapism yes, but not all escapism is about feeling the need to leave your everday life because its so dreadful. I 'escape' into Harry Potter, not because of my mundane Muggle life, but because the story is awesome and I like to use my imagination sometimes. Some people have said that Buffy helps them to feel better when they're down or whatever, but I really struggle to think that many people sit up and think about their lives and their confidence issues or whatever and decide to watch Buffy, or any show, as a result. Teen dramas in their various formats come by the bucket load, it's a hugely popular demographic area for television but I don't think they set out to target or appeal to teenagers beyond the point of making a show that tends to deal with what most teenagers go through. Teen dramas happen to be some of my favourite shows but that has nothing to do with my confidence issues or any issues that I might have or have had in the past. It's mostly to do with the fact they ALWAYS have hot people in them...(sw)

 

[Washburne]

Here's my answer when the thread was first made.


I'd say that Buffy attracts smart (some of our younger members are amazing) and caring people, or maybe that's just bb. 😉

I do agree that the show seem to have a lot of fans that at some point or another have been helped/cheered up by it. Sometimes a lot. Not sure it attracts more of that kind of people than any other show. But the fans seem to be more open and honest about it and don't feel the need to put up a tough/strong face/identity that seem so common otherwise. Sure being quite anonymous on the internet might help but other sites clearly show that it doesn't have to mean that people open up.

 

[PrincessBuffy16]

I can see your point, but I don't agree. We all have our problems, and we're all unsatasfied with one part of our life. Maybe we do find some comfort in the show, we escape with her.. but I'm also a big fan of Gossip Girl, which is a complete opposite to Buffy, so I don't think I can agree with your theory.

 

[Washburne]

People "escape" in many different ways and for different reasons. It doesn't have to be a tv-show or movie. It can be by being creative (music, arts etc), play games, role playing, drinking, taking drugs, day dream, lie (often to make yourself "look" better but mostly to get attention), gambling or having sex. And there's of course even more.

If the escapes are unhealthy or not are much more about how you consume them than what they are.

 

[zobothehobo]

I'm the stereotypical socially awkward girl. But honestly, watching Buffy has made me less socially awkward. Watching Buffy has given me confidence I couldn't imagine having. Buffy is the only reason I actually went to school last semester.

This board has also helped me too. I have been a member of several message boards in my life time. I mean, I am the typical socially awkward teenager. I get really obsessive about the things I like so I go online to find people who want to talk to me about them. I didn't ever really open up and try to share a lot about my life until last year when I found the Taylor Swift board I "frequent" (I don't really frequent it now, it's gotten stale). I used to spend my LIFE on it. Like way more time than I spend on here (which is A LOT of time). I was constantly on TC and I told those people everything. They were like my family. But over time they got less and less accepting of me and the website changed. It used to be that you could share something serious and deep down and people wouldn't judge you and try to help you (like on here). But then the pre-teens took over and now I don't want to go there because I can't have anything but superficial discussion. Even about Taylor's music. But more importantly, I can't talk about me or the other members without feeling I might be crossing a line.

I have a problem. I tend to give out WAY more information than people ask for from me. I tend to tell too much about my life way to early after meeting someone to form a lasting friendship with them. That's why I love the internet so much... because those social rules of conduct of how early you can tell people stuff don't exist. My answers to questions tend to be really long winded and in real life that's kind of a turn off. Online, it's encouraged. And now I'm wondering if my long winded reply went off topic... I think just a little so I'll stop here. haha

 

[Tasha]

haha, i can be socially awkward sometimes, but it just depends, most times i'm a hoot ^.< hahah.
When i was going through my so called 'depression' phase i went back to watching Buffy and joined this board. I suppose it helped in some ways. I love BB anyways. And i suppose the whole internet is an escape from reality anyways. mmmm i'm not even sure where i was going with this. Oaft oh well.
😛

 

[BuffyElevated]

About people on this board "oversharing".... I don't think that's a problem. Most of the people who give out a lot of details about their personal lives do so because we've been here a long time and this board feels like our online safe-haven. I don't know; maybe I'm speaking for myself in that I feel like BB is sort of like an online home to me. I spend so much time posting here and talking with the other members that I feel comfortable to share some details about my personal life.
MOST of the things people tell on this board are things that the people closest to them already know anyway, so it's not a big deal if it gets "out", so to speak. But there are some things here that people have told that are probably very private parts of these peoples' lives, and I feel priveledged to know that the members here feel so comfortable with the rest of us to share it.

 

[Crazy Flakes]

It has nothing to do with Buffy - it has to do with the anonymity of the Internet. On almost every message board (particularly those more popular with women), you're bound see a lot of people talking about feeling self-conscious or depressed, since the Internet allows them to talk about their emotions and insecurities without fear of judgment.

 

[Goby]

One of the things about this board is the total anonymity of everyone. There are no personal avatars. We don't share photos. I have no idea who any of you are. 🙂

That leads to being able to say things that we wouldn't say in "real life." I haven't seen any bullies or trolls on this board, but I'm sure they exist. It also means that people share personal thoughts without the fallout of telling their family or "real life" friends.

Some of us escape to Buffy. I love Buffy and consider it the finest TV show ever (along with The Simpson's). Is that wrong?

Personally, Buffy doesn't come close to my personal favorite, Ernest Hemingway. Words such as these have changed my life forever:

I have fought for what I believed in for a year now. If we win here we will win everywhere. The world is a fine place and worth the fighting for and I hate very much to leave it. And you had a lot of luck, he told himself, to have had such a good life. You've had just as good life as grandfather's, though not as long. You've had just as good a life as anyone because of these last days. You don't want to complain when you have been so lucky.

I remember the first time I read "For Whom The Bell Tolls." It had a profound effect on my life, and Hemingway still does. But just because I think Hemingway is the greatest, doesn't mean that if someone thinks Buffy is the greatest he/she is wrong. That is the beauty of art. And Buffy really is great art.

 

[caitaintdead]

I can only speak for myself here, but I do not have kind of confidence problems, and I'm definitely not socially awkward. I'm generally the person running around crazy at a party or in any social situation wanted to meet, chat and have shots at the bar with everyone!

When it comes to 'oversharing' on the Buffy Boards, I don't really feel like I do to much, I'm always pretty careful to not give out to much personal information these days, but it's important to remember that some people (such as myself) have found great friends on the Buffy Boards, so it's hardly sharing with strangers! On Boxing Day I spent all day and night hanging out with a girl that I know through the Buffy Boards, so it would feel weird NOT sharing with her the fact that my fiance and I broke up, or if I'm having issues at work...

 

[Black Eye Guy]

I don't think the show attracts it anymore then any other show would.

As for over-sharing, I think it's because allot of people have been here for so long, there is anonymity to it, but allot of people befriend each other on Facebook and the like, so I think allot of it is the comfortability factor around here.

We're one of the best (the best in my opinion) for getting rid of trolls and stuff, and although some people have a problem with how strict we are on some topics or what people say, it's only to keep this place actually fun to be around, so everyone does feel comfortable.

Although everyone should remember not to give out to much personal info in the open!