Entropy...did Xander and Buffy have a right to be angry?

S

Sunnydale Siren

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hate what Zander did to Anya, but can see how he would be truly hurt and angry.

She shags the one person he hates the most...Spike

However, Buffy is in no position to be angry or say anything.


Don't think there was any malicious intent of their part, just two hurt people seeking comfort in one another.


any thoughts?
 
R
Rayne
Hell, they should have made a second go at it!
I understand Xander's anger, but Anya had the right to seek comfort with Spike.

Same with Spike, he hadn't promised Buffy anything.

But I still get why Buffy was hurt. Maybe she already loved him a little bit and that's why it hurt. Or maybe she trusted him and thought that he was hers, in a way. She thought he'd be "faithful" to her.(I could be wrong about this, because when Spike brought a date to the almost-wedding, she seemed cool with it. Of course, she didn't see them have sex on a table.)

So it might more have been Spike sleeping with her friends ex. Sleeping with someone she knew.

Or maybe she was angry on Xander's behalf(is that the right word?).
 
I
itsxpaperdoll
Of course Buffy loved Spike! She's loved him from the very beginning! (sw)
T
TheChosenTwo
[No message]
I think that the problem here is that both both Xander AND Buffy took their former lovers for granted. Neither Anya nor Spike were under any obligation to anyone but themselves. They did nothing other than what seemed to be a good idea at the moment, none of anybody's business but their own. It was way too late for Xander to be jealous and entireli inappropriate for Buffy to feel hurt or betrayed.
 
S
StuckinTraffic
[No message]
I
itsxpaperdoll
[No message]
Who is Zander? 😉

I don't think so. Xander hurt Anya terribly, and Buffy was using Spike. They were both hurt. And drunk. They wanted comfort, they got it.
 
This is actually one of the few issues I actually get angry at Buffy about. She's just told the guy to move on and then gets all angry when he does.

Xander I understand a little more because he still wanted to try to make it work with Anya. This was like the big slap in the face to him, that she wasn't anywhere near as eager as he was to try and fix things. I mean, I think she still loved him but I think she also knew that they couldn't be together at that point.
 
I think neither one had a right to be angry and it always bothered me how they reacted.

Anya wanted to spend her life with Xander and he was the one that called it off. What gives him the right to be angry here? It's none of his business anyway, as she is really nothing but his ex now.

Buffy has said that she's done using Spike, and let's face it, that's all she was doing. If he moves on to someone else, then who is she to say anything?
 
B
Buffanator
Exactamundo!
And how about Dawn going and giving him grief for it. I swear those two really piss me off sometimes...
 
Sunnydale Siren said:
hate what Zander did to Anya, but can see how he would be truly hurt and angry.

She shags the one person he hates the most...Spike

However, Buffy is in no position to be angry or say anything.


Don't think there was any malicious intent of their part, just two hurt people seeking comfort in one another.


any thoughts?
Click to expand...

I agree. Buffy was in no position to be angry for what he did with Anya. They weren't together and she had to claim on him. After all, she did leave him.

Yet, emotions are tricky things. It's hard to not be upset when your ex sleeps with your friend, or for that matter, your best friend's ex-fiance whom he's not over yet. I think Buffy was more angry that what effect Spike's actions had on Xander then the effect it had on her. I could be wrong. Also, at that point, Buffy did have feelings for Spike - she just wasn't ready to admit it. And what she saw between Spike and Anya really hot home for her. It was at the point she realized she felt something for Spike so in typical Buffy-style, she get's angry at someone else so she can be in denial of how she really feels.

---------- Post added at 09:27 PM ---------- Previous post was at 09:23 PM ----------

Rayne said:
And how about Dawn going and giving him grief for it. I swear those two really piss me off sometimes...
Click to expand...

I know, right? How was it even Dawn's business? It was sad, though, the effect that had on their friendship. I always enjoyed Spike's fatherly relationship with Dawn. I don't know if Dawn ever forgave him for that. And then he tries to rape Buffy...which completely threw out the window the rest of the trust Dawn had in Spike.

*sigh

I love my Spikey but he doesn't make the best decisions sometimes.
 
R
Rayne
I know...and try arguing in his favor to an 8 year old...can't believe I gave birth to a Bangle!
I don't think they had the right to be angry, but I would've been too. Especially in Xander's case. If I broke up with a longtime girlfriend and that night she slept with someone else, well that just stinks. I know I have no right to say anything, I gave up that right, but it would still feel like being betrayed, and that the relationship meant nothing to them. You cant just instantly stop having feelings for someone if you just broke up. Emotions are still high. There should always be a grace period where both parties can straighten themselves.
 
itsxpaperdoll agrees: Of course Buffy loved Spike! She's loved him from the very beginning! (sw)
Click to expand...

I'm so bad at net speak. What does "sw" stand for?
 
P
Perny
I call him the sleazy wanker, but I dunno if it's right
I don't think either of them had the "right to be angry", but that doesn't mean that their anger was justified. It's the whole heart v head thing - just because you know that what you've had with someone is over (whether you instigated it or not) & that they are perfectly allowed to go off and do whatever they want, doesn't mean you have to like it, be okay with it, or downright not hate it.

Plus, they saw the whole thing. Which is very different from just knowing that someone's moved on. Think back to your last ex, or whoever. If, less than a week after you'd ended things (even if you were arguing or hated each other) you saw a video of them and someone having sex, you would be hurt, and probably angry too.
 
S
Skytteflickan88
Exactly, the camera made it worse.
I think they didn't have a right to be angry because they already broke up. But I understand that Xander still loves Anya. In Buffy case, I guess she's hurt because she thought Spike loves her so much that he would never sleep with anyone else like that.
 
You can't control how you feel. Xander and Buffy's anger and hurt was because they loved Anya and Spike. Maybe it's more "having feelings" for Spike in Buffy's case. If they didn't, they wouldn't have cared.

But they way Xander reacted was wrong on so many levels, he had no right taking that axe and trying to kill Spike. Buffy, on the other hand, reacted maturely about it. Just went to sulk in the backyard. She even stopped Xander from killing Spike.

I think Buffy was trying so hard to tell herself that she didn't care for Spike, and seeing him with Anya showed her that she actually does care. And that shocked her and scared her... she has feelings for Spike. When she broke up with him, she didn't think so, until she saw him with someone else.
 
I don't think Buffy acted wrong at all, she just acted hurt.
Xander had every right to be pissed off, i mean Anya didn't do anything fundamentaly wrong, but if Xander didn't so happen to catch the show, would she have been happy for him to find out? Hell no. You could tell from Anyas expression afterwards she regretted it. Id have been annoyed too in Xanders position.
 
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