It's taken me weeks to post this (I'm really terribly self-concious when it comes to my own writing, especially since I haven't written fanfiction in years!) but here goes...
My second entry for the BB Crossover competition contest, humor challenge (humor is so NOT my forte so be kind 😉)
"Look my information told me that something was going down here." Robin Wood spoke in a hushed tone, slowly skulking into a downtown alley in Los Angeles. Behind him vampire Slayer Faith Lehane sauntered casually.
"And all I'm sayin' is that your info hasn't been the most reliable as of late."
"Faith," he tried to tactfully shush her, knowing just what a pointless endeavor that was. Faith did not fear dark alleys or the things that lurked in them. If anything she looked more at home than ever, running a finger over a spray painted brick wall, doing that careless but thorough intake of the area that her Slayer senses helped her achieve.
Robin however had to focus. He was doing just that when a trash can nearby tipped over with a loud clang, a cat meowed loudly and in a whirl of fast movements Faith whipped forwards and towards a moving target in white.
"Faith no!" Catching up to what was going on Robin wrapped his hand around the raised wrist of the Slayer, staying it mid-air only by her near instant yield to his words.
"What?" With an irritated crinkle appearing between her brows Faith tossed her head around to give him a quizzical glare. "Bad guy in dark alley!"
"Bad guy?" Robin countered giving the man in front of them a sceptical eye.
He was slight of build, fair-haired, wore a long white doctor's coat, black goggles perched atop his head and big black gloves covering his hands. He was trembling slightly again
Lowering her stake wielding hand Faith wrinkled her nose at the sight. "Looks like one them dorks who likes to get their ya-ya's out watching Spock stare into space."
"Hey hey hey," the man objected instantly in an arrogant but whiny tone, "I do not look dorky. I wear a coat because I'm a doctor... " He said it with pride. "I have Ph.D in horribleness. You've probably heard of me "“ Dr. Horrible... I'm a... super villain."
Faith chuckled, relaxing her stance and putting her stake into the back of her pants. "Oh yeah, you're a doctor? Guess that means you're real smart. That why you got 'em big gloves on here in the filthy alley? And the goggles? You a science-wiz too?"
"As a matter of fact I am." Dr. Horrible jutted his chin out with defiant pride.
Robin cleared his throat, suffocating a chuckle. He tilted his head to see what was hiding behind the doctor's legs. "And that's why you're skulking in a dark alley with a bag of... Is that barley?"
"It's for Bad horse!" Dr. Horrible stood before it in protection of his loot. "He's the head of the Evil leage of Evil. He runs it with a..."
When the sentence trailed off the Slayer raised her brows. "With a what?" She taunted. "A loud neigh? A stack full of carrots? A good back-kick?" She looked back at Robin. "Can I hit this guy now?"
"Don't do that!" Dr. Horrible raised his palms looking anxious enough to wet himself. "I mean "“ you eh... don't want to do that because I am very powerful and important to Bad Horse and... I have a card! Hold on." Reaching into his backpocket the man started to fumble his way through a tattered looking leather wallet.
After a few minutes he produced a white paper card that Faith skeptically accepted.
The Evil leauge of Evil
Dr. Horrible.
Ph.D in Horribleness.
She sent Robin a dubious glance over her shoulder, he rolled his shoulders in response.
"It's not even laminated." She drawled and with an eye-roll flicked the card into the air.
"No!" The doctor dove to the ground in order to retrieve it. "It's from Bad Horse himself, you don't know what that means."
"That you're a lackey?"
"No.That I'm a valued member and confidant. The evilest of them all."
Faith raised her fist. "Yeah I bet you bleed real easy too."
The Slayer advanced and the doctor back off rapidly. Robin cleared his throat.
She sighed impatiently but paused. "What? He's a bad guy! Evil league of Evil..."
"I'm not sure hitting him is the way to go, he's... pretty pathetic."
Faith stood down again, sneering in Dr. Horrible's direction. "So what then?"
Robin shrugged. "Cops?"
"You don't wanna do that." Dr. Horrible spoke rapidly but with a wavering confidence. "The armed forces stand futile against my will, their mediocre minds won't be able to keep me for long."
The Slayer approached again, grinning a little, like a cat playing with a mouse. "Are you...advocating for me to kill you?"
"What? No! God what are you people - animals? Kill... kill me?"
The Slayer laughed and arched one of her brows in question. "You got a better idea?"
Dr. Horrible hesitated, took a step back and looked between the two of them."Can't we just... sing a song about it?"
"Okay that's it!"
With a single punch Faith sent Dr. Horrible back against the dumpster and he sank down onto the ground with a vacant expression on his face. Head lolling to the side, his tongue falling out of his mouth.
Faith turned towards Robin with a victorious grin. "Non-hostile enough for you?" She took the lead up towards the mouth of the alley and Robin followed after throwing a languid gaze at the knocked out super-villain.
"I still say we should call the cops."
"Please, you really think that guy's a threat to anyone? He's taking orders from a horse!"
"He's pathetic but still..."
"Yeah yeah, we'll do it when we're on the next block. He'll be out longer than that I 'spect. See this is why I hate LA... all these weirdos."
Robin chuckled. "Dark alleys and monsters are preferrable to you?"
"Hells yeah. You ain't gonna catch me singing a little song or doing some dumb dance." Faith scoffed, ging his shoulder a light and affectionate punch.. "Guess your info went bust again, huh, Ro? Now how do you feel about ribs?"
My second entry for the BB Crossover competition contest, humor challenge (humor is so NOT my forte so be kind 😉)
Faith & the Horrible
"Look my information told me that something was going down here." Robin Wood spoke in a hushed tone, slowly skulking into a downtown alley in Los Angeles. Behind him vampire Slayer Faith Lehane sauntered casually.
"And all I'm sayin' is that your info hasn't been the most reliable as of late."
"Faith," he tried to tactfully shush her, knowing just what a pointless endeavor that was. Faith did not fear dark alleys or the things that lurked in them. If anything she looked more at home than ever, running a finger over a spray painted brick wall, doing that careless but thorough intake of the area that her Slayer senses helped her achieve.
Robin however had to focus. He was doing just that when a trash can nearby tipped over with a loud clang, a cat meowed loudly and in a whirl of fast movements Faith whipped forwards and towards a moving target in white.
"Faith no!" Catching up to what was going on Robin wrapped his hand around the raised wrist of the Slayer, staying it mid-air only by her near instant yield to his words.
"What?" With an irritated crinkle appearing between her brows Faith tossed her head around to give him a quizzical glare. "Bad guy in dark alley!"
"Bad guy?" Robin countered giving the man in front of them a sceptical eye.
He was slight of build, fair-haired, wore a long white doctor's coat, black goggles perched atop his head and big black gloves covering his hands. He was trembling slightly again
Lowering her stake wielding hand Faith wrinkled her nose at the sight. "Looks like one them dorks who likes to get their ya-ya's out watching Spock stare into space."
"Hey hey hey," the man objected instantly in an arrogant but whiny tone, "I do not look dorky. I wear a coat because I'm a doctor... " He said it with pride. "I have Ph.D in horribleness. You've probably heard of me "“ Dr. Horrible... I'm a... super villain."
Faith chuckled, relaxing her stance and putting her stake into the back of her pants. "Oh yeah, you're a doctor? Guess that means you're real smart. That why you got 'em big gloves on here in the filthy alley? And the goggles? You a science-wiz too?"
"As a matter of fact I am." Dr. Horrible jutted his chin out with defiant pride.
Robin cleared his throat, suffocating a chuckle. He tilted his head to see what was hiding behind the doctor's legs. "And that's why you're skulking in a dark alley with a bag of... Is that barley?"
"It's for Bad horse!" Dr. Horrible stood before it in protection of his loot. "He's the head of the Evil leage of Evil. He runs it with a..."
When the sentence trailed off the Slayer raised her brows. "With a what?" She taunted. "A loud neigh? A stack full of carrots? A good back-kick?" She looked back at Robin. "Can I hit this guy now?"
"Don't do that!" Dr. Horrible raised his palms looking anxious enough to wet himself. "I mean "“ you eh... don't want to do that because I am very powerful and important to Bad Horse and... I have a card! Hold on." Reaching into his backpocket the man started to fumble his way through a tattered looking leather wallet.
After a few minutes he produced a white paper card that Faith skeptically accepted.
The Evil leauge of Evil
Dr. Horrible.
Ph.D in Horribleness.
She sent Robin a dubious glance over her shoulder, he rolled his shoulders in response.
"It's not even laminated." She drawled and with an eye-roll flicked the card into the air.
"No!" The doctor dove to the ground in order to retrieve it. "It's from Bad Horse himself, you don't know what that means."
"That you're a lackey?"
"No.That I'm a valued member and confidant. The evilest of them all."
Faith raised her fist. "Yeah I bet you bleed real easy too."
The Slayer advanced and the doctor back off rapidly. Robin cleared his throat.
She sighed impatiently but paused. "What? He's a bad guy! Evil league of Evil..."
"I'm not sure hitting him is the way to go, he's... pretty pathetic."
Faith stood down again, sneering in Dr. Horrible's direction. "So what then?"
Robin shrugged. "Cops?"
"You don't wanna do that." Dr. Horrible spoke rapidly but with a wavering confidence. "The armed forces stand futile against my will, their mediocre minds won't be able to keep me for long."
The Slayer approached again, grinning a little, like a cat playing with a mouse. "Are you...advocating for me to kill you?"
"What? No! God what are you people - animals? Kill... kill me?"
The Slayer laughed and arched one of her brows in question. "You got a better idea?"
Dr. Horrible hesitated, took a step back and looked between the two of them."Can't we just... sing a song about it?"
"Okay that's it!"
With a single punch Faith sent Dr. Horrible back against the dumpster and he sank down onto the ground with a vacant expression on his face. Head lolling to the side, his tongue falling out of his mouth.
Faith turned towards Robin with a victorious grin. "Non-hostile enough for you?" She took the lead up towards the mouth of the alley and Robin followed after throwing a languid gaze at the knocked out super-villain.
"I still say we should call the cops."
"Please, you really think that guy's a threat to anyone? He's taking orders from a horse!"
"He's pathetic but still..."
"Yeah yeah, we'll do it when we're on the next block. He'll be out longer than that I 'spect. See this is why I hate LA... all these weirdos."
Robin chuckled. "Dark alleys and monsters are preferrable to you?"
"Hells yeah. You ain't gonna catch me singing a little song or doing some dumb dance." Faith scoffed, ging his shoulder a light and affectionate punch.. "Guess your info went bust again, huh, Ro? Now how do you feel about ribs?"
-END-