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Faith's Sister: Hope
- Thread starter Lulladreamy
- Start date
Lulladreamy
Faith's past teller
- Joined
- Dec 1, 2003
- Messages
- 41
I'd like to hear some constructive comments about my story. Plz, don't hesitate to tell me what u liker & what u dislike, if there r too long or boring aspect, what I should develop or such. Anything that u think about it is welcome, coz since I'm writing my story while I post, I can change what u think is wrong when I go on writing.
🙂
February 16th 1999
I remained stunned for a few seconds. Everything was like suspended no noise, no movement. It was as if someone had stopped the time.
Helen's words echoed still in my mind. I heard them, most of all, and behind them, I could feel my sister's anger and pain. It took me less than a second to make up my mind. I knew what I had to do.
Helen was dead when she had been thrown but it was because she was already weak. It was high, but I could do it"¦ I had to try. If I didn't try, Kakistos would use Faith and then, he would kill me.
He had begun to talk to Faith, telling that next time she should be faster if she didn't want me to suffer the same fate. The guy keeping me wasn't really paying attention because he probably thought I was weak and I wouldn't move. I suddenly kicked him into the belly and with my hands tied in my back I began to run to the edge of the roof.
It was so quick and so sudden that no vampire had time to catch me. As I came closer to the edge and saw the edge, I began to doubt about jumping into the space, because it was about 40 feet high, but I had no other solution. Helen's words helped me to make the last step. As I fell I felt my sister's fear as she saw me jump. She hadn't had the time to move since it was all of sudden.
The crash was violent. I heard my right leg make an awful noise and then felt a nagging pain coming from it and spread in my whole body. Faith ran toward me, worrying that I could have died in this crash. I was close to faint cause the pain was unbearable, but I tried hard to remain conscious because if I had fainted, it would have been as if I had done this jump pointlessly, since I was sure Faith couldn't escape if she had to carry me.
As she told me that I was fool and asked me if I was ok, I tried to pick up myself.
The vampire on the roof were beginning to react, as they had understood was happened.
Faith supported me to stand up and then, to "˜run away' - I would say that I was more hobbling -. We both had a look at Helen's body before to leave. We felt bad to let her body in their hands"¦ but we couldn't take her with us.
I was jumping on one feet, and Faith enabled me to keep my balance. We were hardly a minute ahead of the vampire, and with me injured, they were coming closer.
We went round the corners every time we could, to make them lose our tracks. It had worked a little, because they had to divide themselves in two groups. They were about 15 to follow us now. It was still too much for Faith, because she was weakened by the day she had spent to bring back this thing. She hadn't eaten anything and hadn't rested.
For the first time in our lives, it seemed that we had some luck, because in one of the streets, which were -I remind you- in the industrial area, we found the entrance of another little dark street, and in it, there was a door that was open. I thought that kind of luck only existed in fairy tales, but I discovered it worked in real life as well.
We feared that the vampire could find us, but they never did. I was trying to focus on something else, but I couldn't help to feel my legs hurting so much. I fainted just as we had found this stash. When I came back to consciousness, Faith had put her jacket under my head as pillow, but she had disappeared. I looked around a bit worried, but I knew she wasn't here. She was outside but I was reassured to read into her mind that she was coming back. She brought water, and had checked out where the vampire had been.
"˜Those bloodsucker gave up with us' she told when she saw I was awaked. She was trying to have a self-confident look, but inside she was scared. She had no idea about what to do, she was worrying about me and my broken leg, and the grief over Helen was so strong.
Then, Faith made me drink and asked me if I felt capable to walk till the hospital. I wanted to cry just thinking that I had to walk till there, cause it was so far and every little movement made the pain nagging much more, but I didn't and told my sister it wasn't a problem for me. I didn't want to add more problems to the situation. The thing was that we had no money to pay the hospital. I knew she was trying to find a way to get some bucks. There was a solution, but I didn't know if I would dare to utter it. Helen had money into her house. She had showed us were she was hiding it, just in case we would need it when she wouldn't be there. The day she had showed us, we were both very surprised, because it was the first time someone trusted us enough to share that kind of thing.
But with her death, I thought it could be an offence to take this money. I talked about it to Faith in the end, and she didn't hesitate. It was the only fast way to get money, and she didn't want me to suffer longer, so she decided to take this money.
We went out of this stash, and Faith led me to the hospital. It took about an hour to reach a road and we finally found someone to take us into his car and to drive us there.
I had fainted again in the car. I had tried not to, but couldn't prevent it, and my sister had to carry me on her back till the hospital's hall.
There, she told to the nurse that I had fallen from a high roof, and then, she left telling that they had to begin to heal me and that she would be back soon with the money.
My leg was put in a cast, I had been given crutches, Faith paid everything with Helen's money, and the day after, about 11 in the morning, we both were outside.
We first found a park, sat there and I began to tell to my sister every word that Helen had said. I told her about this other girl that we had to meet, who was living in a town called Sunnydale. I told her that Helen had told she knew we could go through ordeals cause we were strong and smart.
Faith had been very moved when she knew this. She remained silent for a while, and this time, I didn't try to read her mind, I respected her silence and wanted to let her think in peace.
After a while, she looked at me. Her look was like odd. I asked her why, but she didn't answer. I finally read her mind, but I was just able to catch her thought about me not having read her mind before she began to talk about going back in Helen's house to take some belongings. I stopped her and asked what I haven't read into her mind, and why she was looking at me that way, but she told me it was nothing. She kept making surface some plain things in her mind so that I couldn't guess what she had thought about. I insisted but she just made me shut up.
We went there, and we began to pack up. We had just begun when Faith told me to continue alone because she had something to do. She knew there was no risk for me since it was the day, and she added she would be back about one or two hours later.
She didn't let me time to react, and left before I had time to utter a word.
🙂
February 16th 1999
I remained stunned for a few seconds. Everything was like suspended no noise, no movement. It was as if someone had stopped the time.
Helen's words echoed still in my mind. I heard them, most of all, and behind them, I could feel my sister's anger and pain. It took me less than a second to make up my mind. I knew what I had to do.
Helen was dead when she had been thrown but it was because she was already weak. It was high, but I could do it"¦ I had to try. If I didn't try, Kakistos would use Faith and then, he would kill me.
He had begun to talk to Faith, telling that next time she should be faster if she didn't want me to suffer the same fate. The guy keeping me wasn't really paying attention because he probably thought I was weak and I wouldn't move. I suddenly kicked him into the belly and with my hands tied in my back I began to run to the edge of the roof.
It was so quick and so sudden that no vampire had time to catch me. As I came closer to the edge and saw the edge, I began to doubt about jumping into the space, because it was about 40 feet high, but I had no other solution. Helen's words helped me to make the last step. As I fell I felt my sister's fear as she saw me jump. She hadn't had the time to move since it was all of sudden.
The crash was violent. I heard my right leg make an awful noise and then felt a nagging pain coming from it and spread in my whole body. Faith ran toward me, worrying that I could have died in this crash. I was close to faint cause the pain was unbearable, but I tried hard to remain conscious because if I had fainted, it would have been as if I had done this jump pointlessly, since I was sure Faith couldn't escape if she had to carry me.
As she told me that I was fool and asked me if I was ok, I tried to pick up myself.
The vampire on the roof were beginning to react, as they had understood was happened.
Faith supported me to stand up and then, to "˜run away' - I would say that I was more hobbling -. We both had a look at Helen's body before to leave. We felt bad to let her body in their hands"¦ but we couldn't take her with us.
I was jumping on one feet, and Faith enabled me to keep my balance. We were hardly a minute ahead of the vampire, and with me injured, they were coming closer.
We went round the corners every time we could, to make them lose our tracks. It had worked a little, because they had to divide themselves in two groups. They were about 15 to follow us now. It was still too much for Faith, because she was weakened by the day she had spent to bring back this thing. She hadn't eaten anything and hadn't rested.
For the first time in our lives, it seemed that we had some luck, because in one of the streets, which were -I remind you- in the industrial area, we found the entrance of another little dark street, and in it, there was a door that was open. I thought that kind of luck only existed in fairy tales, but I discovered it worked in real life as well.
We feared that the vampire could find us, but they never did. I was trying to focus on something else, but I couldn't help to feel my legs hurting so much. I fainted just as we had found this stash. When I came back to consciousness, Faith had put her jacket under my head as pillow, but she had disappeared. I looked around a bit worried, but I knew she wasn't here. She was outside but I was reassured to read into her mind that she was coming back. She brought water, and had checked out where the vampire had been.
"˜Those bloodsucker gave up with us' she told when she saw I was awaked. She was trying to have a self-confident look, but inside she was scared. She had no idea about what to do, she was worrying about me and my broken leg, and the grief over Helen was so strong.
Then, Faith made me drink and asked me if I felt capable to walk till the hospital. I wanted to cry just thinking that I had to walk till there, cause it was so far and every little movement made the pain nagging much more, but I didn't and told my sister it wasn't a problem for me. I didn't want to add more problems to the situation. The thing was that we had no money to pay the hospital. I knew she was trying to find a way to get some bucks. There was a solution, but I didn't know if I would dare to utter it. Helen had money into her house. She had showed us were she was hiding it, just in case we would need it when she wouldn't be there. The day she had showed us, we were both very surprised, because it was the first time someone trusted us enough to share that kind of thing.
But with her death, I thought it could be an offence to take this money. I talked about it to Faith in the end, and she didn't hesitate. It was the only fast way to get money, and she didn't want me to suffer longer, so she decided to take this money.
We went out of this stash, and Faith led me to the hospital. It took about an hour to reach a road and we finally found someone to take us into his car and to drive us there.
I had fainted again in the car. I had tried not to, but couldn't prevent it, and my sister had to carry me on her back till the hospital's hall.
There, she told to the nurse that I had fallen from a high roof, and then, she left telling that they had to begin to heal me and that she would be back soon with the money.
My leg was put in a cast, I had been given crutches, Faith paid everything with Helen's money, and the day after, about 11 in the morning, we both were outside.
We first found a park, sat there and I began to tell to my sister every word that Helen had said. I told her about this other girl that we had to meet, who was living in a town called Sunnydale. I told her that Helen had told she knew we could go through ordeals cause we were strong and smart.
Faith had been very moved when she knew this. She remained silent for a while, and this time, I didn't try to read her mind, I respected her silence and wanted to let her think in peace.
After a while, she looked at me. Her look was like odd. I asked her why, but she didn't answer. I finally read her mind, but I was just able to catch her thought about me not having read her mind before she began to talk about going back in Helen's house to take some belongings. I stopped her and asked what I haven't read into her mind, and why she was looking at me that way, but she told me it was nothing. She kept making surface some plain things in her mind so that I couldn't guess what she had thought about. I insisted but she just made me shut up.
We went there, and we began to pack up. We had just begun when Faith told me to continue alone because she had something to do. She knew there was no risk for me since it was the day, and she added she would be back about one or two hours later.
She didn't let me time to react, and left before I had time to utter a word.
Lulladreamy
Faith's past teller
- Joined
- Dec 1, 2003
- Messages
- 41
Lulladreamy
Faith's past teller
- Joined
- Dec 1, 2003
- Messages
- 41
February 17th 1999
I got to stop to tell this story for a while because I think the more important for now is to tell what happen with Faith. Lots of things had happened, and I'm pissed off that I couldn't contact anyone to prevent this.
Since Faith killed this guy, she is very disturbed, but as I said before, she hid it, even to her.
The cops had interrogated her and B, and my sister appeared to them totally relax and they believed at once when she talked. But she worried that B couldn't bear this secret anymore, and that the menace about telling the cops she was here too wouldn't be enough to prevent her from talking. So Faith went to talk to Giles. Gosh, I would never have thought that she would do this. She told Giles B had killed the guy. Poor sister, she didn't see that he was pretending to believe her. Even without my "˜ability' I could have guessed it.
She thought it had worked.
And it's then that all went definitely bad. Xander came into her "˜room' to talk to her. I already told, my sister do really like him, it's just that"¦ with all that happened to her with guys, she just isn't ready to trust one yet.
She was glad to see him"¦ but when he talked about the "˜having heard this version' it just stunned her. She knew very deep inside of her that people were not gonna to trust her, because they always trusted B.
But she had hoped, and to see his plan failed made her lost again. The worst was that it was the guy she liked the most who came to tell her about it. She hated it. She hated that he knew she was bad, whereas she wanted him to like her.
That is why she did what she did after. She began to appeal him, but she didn't bear the fact that if she could "˜have it' in this way, she could never have him to trust her now, since he knew what she had done. So she began to strangle him. Meanwhile, she wanted something else, that is maybe more complicated to understand.
With what she had done, she felt that she was not on the "˜good side' anymore, but not yet on the "˜bad side' since she had not done this crime willingly. And being stuck between those two sides made her more lost when she already was before.
To see him here, she realized she would never be as good as B, and that every effort she would make wouldn't be enough to make the grade with her. In a few seconds, she had made up her mind, and decided to bent on the "˜bad side', to show them all that she wasn't just a sheep meant to be kept out of the limelight.
From this moment, she hated B so much for always having her friends to trust her. She hated that Xander wasn't on her side since they had "˜shared something'.
To read in her mind at this very moment was very hard for me. I was disgusted by so much hatred, seeing this guy about to die, and meanwhile, I understood her feelings so well that I could nearly share her way to think and agree with her.
But I reassure you, Xander didn't die. All of sudden, others came and clubbed her senseless.
They brought her into B's lover mansion. I never talked about him but I should though. I think Angel is from far the one that Faith wants to trust the more. It's a vampire, with a soul. In the beginning, my sister didn't like him. He had committed so much awful crimes, and despite his soul, he was still a vampire. But now, she feels quite close to him, cause she committed a murder as well. She wanted to go to talk to him, she hesitated a lot those past few days, but she never dared.
I do think that it could have worked. She had felt from the cliff, but I would say she had saved herself by catching hold of a branch. A fragile branch. And if someone came to rescue her, she could be taken back up. (I apologize for this lame metaphor, but it's really what I thought about when I think about how my sister went into all this sh*t).
But you might wonder why it didn't work then? Well, this stupid little English squirt came out of the blue with his cohort and pushed Angel away to take Faith, willing to bring her to a disciplinary board. It was bound to fail. Understand, when she was with Angel, there was a little part in Faith that wanted to be brought back on the "˜good path'. They showed her that they cared about her at least a little. But this guy"¦ gosh, she doesn't bear him, and I totally understand her. I think nobody actually bear him in the whole group except for a silly bimbo girl that I didn't even mentioned since she doesn't seem important.
They took Faith into a van but since this guy was, as I said a little brat, he wasn't aware of her strength, and so it was easy for her to escape.
It's then that I regretted not had been able to contact Willow. Cause among everyone, she is the one who understand Faith the less. She wasn't "˜against' but she was not very cheerful to the idea of helping my sister. Had I talked to her, I'm sure I could have made her understand and even be more helpful. I would have given tips or such, I don't know, I would have done something useful. But she is too busy with what happen to go to chat on the Internet. It's a pity that she cannot get my menials' message. I thought she was the only one I could do talked to by mind, apart for my sister, thanks to her witch ability. But no.
Once Faith had escape from Wesley's hand, she wandered for a while. She was thinking, and I tried at this very moment to talk to her, because the thinking mind would have made it easier. I think she might have got that I was trying to talk to her, because for a few seconds, she thought about me, and wondered what I had become, and what I would say if I knew. Then she wondered if I knew, of whether I still read her mind, if the distance made it unable or not. I was close to have a hope (no pun) because I thought she might try to concentrate to catch what I was saying"¦ but she didn't. On the contrary, she convinced herself that I had forgotten her and she began to think about what she would do again.
She saw two choices in front of her. On one hand, she could leave, with a freighter and begin another life farther, and on the other hand, she could take her revenge on B, obeying to this feeling that had dawn when Xander had come earlier.
Unconsciously, her paces had led her to the port. A freighter was there, and thinking about fate, Faith went in it, to look how it was inside and maybe then to settle. But just as she went on the pontoon bridge, she heard someone walking down, on the docks.
She looked, hiding herself, to see who or what it was. B, as usual, she was where she wasn't wanted.
Faith shows up. Not for the entire world she would have avoided this meeting, because she would have appeared as a coward to her own eyes.
They had a talk, about their "˜friendship' and such crap, and Faith told something, about being a slayer and loving it, the killing and fight with demons. It was exactly what B thought. But she is so hypocritical, because I can see in her mind that she like it and she still denied it. I don't know why she doesn't admit it. I think it's because Faith told it, and B doesn't want to accept anything coming from her as true.
And then, B acted silly. She had no more words to defend her point of view - which is pretty normal, since it wasn't her point of view because she actually felt what my sister talked about - so she just hit Faith.
Wouldn't her dare to say that my sister is violent after that! But anyway, she felt she had won this time, because violence is the argument of the weak, the ones who have nothing else left. And this one time, my sister didn't burst into it the first.
As it got more intense, vampires suddenly came from nowhere. Mr. Trick himself was there. I don't remember if I pointed this out, but Trick was one of Kakistos' guys. Of course, my sister hated him because he reminds her of Helen's death.
Whatever"¦ the fight was going on with the vampires and Faith did well with them. She had energy to spare. Came the moment when she saw B about to be killed by Trick. She looked at the scene for a few seconds, hesitating. It was very disturbing. She had the occasion to let the one that she both admired and despised die. She wouldn't even have to kill her"¦ no other crime. It was tempting. But then, she saw Trick, and he remained her of Helen. Faith thought about what Helen would have said about this. She had died to save them, sacrificed her life, telling to resist to the vampires.
And another thought came. Darker thought. She realized she didn't want B to die, she wanted to show her that she could win, Faith wanted to show her that she could match up to her.
All flashed through her mind, very quick, and before he could reach B's neck, Trick was nothing anymore but dust.
Now you maybe think that Faith is ok, like B think. I wish it would be true.
Just after the fight, B went with my sister to her lame "˜room' and let her there. She went to Giles, claiming everything was ok, thanks to her. Bull****!
Faith went straight to the Mayor's office. She went to him, told him she had killed his "˜boy' and asked for a job.
I'm having some problem in my journey, which isn't great. I'll stop to tell here for today and try to find a way to deal with some things. My wrist hurt a bit after having written so much.
I'll probably go back to the story when we were still in Boston next time.
I got to stop to tell this story for a while because I think the more important for now is to tell what happen with Faith. Lots of things had happened, and I'm pissed off that I couldn't contact anyone to prevent this.
Since Faith killed this guy, she is very disturbed, but as I said before, she hid it, even to her.
The cops had interrogated her and B, and my sister appeared to them totally relax and they believed at once when she talked. But she worried that B couldn't bear this secret anymore, and that the menace about telling the cops she was here too wouldn't be enough to prevent her from talking. So Faith went to talk to Giles. Gosh, I would never have thought that she would do this. She told Giles B had killed the guy. Poor sister, she didn't see that he was pretending to believe her. Even without my "˜ability' I could have guessed it.
She thought it had worked.
And it's then that all went definitely bad. Xander came into her "˜room' to talk to her. I already told, my sister do really like him, it's just that"¦ with all that happened to her with guys, she just isn't ready to trust one yet.
She was glad to see him"¦ but when he talked about the "˜having heard this version' it just stunned her. She knew very deep inside of her that people were not gonna to trust her, because they always trusted B.
But she had hoped, and to see his plan failed made her lost again. The worst was that it was the guy she liked the most who came to tell her about it. She hated it. She hated that he knew she was bad, whereas she wanted him to like her.
That is why she did what she did after. She began to appeal him, but she didn't bear the fact that if she could "˜have it' in this way, she could never have him to trust her now, since he knew what she had done. So she began to strangle him. Meanwhile, she wanted something else, that is maybe more complicated to understand.
With what she had done, she felt that she was not on the "˜good side' anymore, but not yet on the "˜bad side' since she had not done this crime willingly. And being stuck between those two sides made her more lost when she already was before.
To see him here, she realized she would never be as good as B, and that every effort she would make wouldn't be enough to make the grade with her. In a few seconds, she had made up her mind, and decided to bent on the "˜bad side', to show them all that she wasn't just a sheep meant to be kept out of the limelight.
From this moment, she hated B so much for always having her friends to trust her. She hated that Xander wasn't on her side since they had "˜shared something'.
To read in her mind at this very moment was very hard for me. I was disgusted by so much hatred, seeing this guy about to die, and meanwhile, I understood her feelings so well that I could nearly share her way to think and agree with her.
But I reassure you, Xander didn't die. All of sudden, others came and clubbed her senseless.
They brought her into B's lover mansion. I never talked about him but I should though. I think Angel is from far the one that Faith wants to trust the more. It's a vampire, with a soul. In the beginning, my sister didn't like him. He had committed so much awful crimes, and despite his soul, he was still a vampire. But now, she feels quite close to him, cause she committed a murder as well. She wanted to go to talk to him, she hesitated a lot those past few days, but she never dared.
I do think that it could have worked. She had felt from the cliff, but I would say she had saved herself by catching hold of a branch. A fragile branch. And if someone came to rescue her, she could be taken back up. (I apologize for this lame metaphor, but it's really what I thought about when I think about how my sister went into all this sh*t).
But you might wonder why it didn't work then? Well, this stupid little English squirt came out of the blue with his cohort and pushed Angel away to take Faith, willing to bring her to a disciplinary board. It was bound to fail. Understand, when she was with Angel, there was a little part in Faith that wanted to be brought back on the "˜good path'. They showed her that they cared about her at least a little. But this guy"¦ gosh, she doesn't bear him, and I totally understand her. I think nobody actually bear him in the whole group except for a silly bimbo girl that I didn't even mentioned since she doesn't seem important.
They took Faith into a van but since this guy was, as I said a little brat, he wasn't aware of her strength, and so it was easy for her to escape.
It's then that I regretted not had been able to contact Willow. Cause among everyone, she is the one who understand Faith the less. She wasn't "˜against' but she was not very cheerful to the idea of helping my sister. Had I talked to her, I'm sure I could have made her understand and even be more helpful. I would have given tips or such, I don't know, I would have done something useful. But she is too busy with what happen to go to chat on the Internet. It's a pity that she cannot get my menials' message. I thought she was the only one I could do talked to by mind, apart for my sister, thanks to her witch ability. But no.
Once Faith had escape from Wesley's hand, she wandered for a while. She was thinking, and I tried at this very moment to talk to her, because the thinking mind would have made it easier. I think she might have got that I was trying to talk to her, because for a few seconds, she thought about me, and wondered what I had become, and what I would say if I knew. Then she wondered if I knew, of whether I still read her mind, if the distance made it unable or not. I was close to have a hope (no pun) because I thought she might try to concentrate to catch what I was saying"¦ but she didn't. On the contrary, she convinced herself that I had forgotten her and she began to think about what she would do again.
She saw two choices in front of her. On one hand, she could leave, with a freighter and begin another life farther, and on the other hand, she could take her revenge on B, obeying to this feeling that had dawn when Xander had come earlier.
Unconsciously, her paces had led her to the port. A freighter was there, and thinking about fate, Faith went in it, to look how it was inside and maybe then to settle. But just as she went on the pontoon bridge, she heard someone walking down, on the docks.
She looked, hiding herself, to see who or what it was. B, as usual, she was where she wasn't wanted.
Faith shows up. Not for the entire world she would have avoided this meeting, because she would have appeared as a coward to her own eyes.
They had a talk, about their "˜friendship' and such crap, and Faith told something, about being a slayer and loving it, the killing and fight with demons. It was exactly what B thought. But she is so hypocritical, because I can see in her mind that she like it and she still denied it. I don't know why she doesn't admit it. I think it's because Faith told it, and B doesn't want to accept anything coming from her as true.
And then, B acted silly. She had no more words to defend her point of view - which is pretty normal, since it wasn't her point of view because she actually felt what my sister talked about - so she just hit Faith.
Wouldn't her dare to say that my sister is violent after that! But anyway, she felt she had won this time, because violence is the argument of the weak, the ones who have nothing else left. And this one time, my sister didn't burst into it the first.
As it got more intense, vampires suddenly came from nowhere. Mr. Trick himself was there. I don't remember if I pointed this out, but Trick was one of Kakistos' guys. Of course, my sister hated him because he reminds her of Helen's death.
Whatever"¦ the fight was going on with the vampires and Faith did well with them. She had energy to spare. Came the moment when she saw B about to be killed by Trick. She looked at the scene for a few seconds, hesitating. It was very disturbing. She had the occasion to let the one that she both admired and despised die. She wouldn't even have to kill her"¦ no other crime. It was tempting. But then, she saw Trick, and he remained her of Helen. Faith thought about what Helen would have said about this. She had died to save them, sacrificed her life, telling to resist to the vampires.
And another thought came. Darker thought. She realized she didn't want B to die, she wanted to show her that she could win, Faith wanted to show her that she could match up to her.
All flashed through her mind, very quick, and before he could reach B's neck, Trick was nothing anymore but dust.
Now you maybe think that Faith is ok, like B think. I wish it would be true.
Just after the fight, B went with my sister to her lame "˜room' and let her there. She went to Giles, claiming everything was ok, thanks to her. Bull****!
Faith went straight to the Mayor's office. She went to him, told him she had killed his "˜boy' and asked for a job.
I'm having some problem in my journey, which isn't great. I'll stop to tell here for today and try to find a way to deal with some things. My wrist hurt a bit after having written so much.
I'll probably go back to the story when we were still in Boston next time.
Lulladreamy
Faith's past teller
- Joined
- Dec 1, 2003
- Messages
- 41
Thanky Faithy !!! *hugs*
Really glad u like it, I thought it would seem crappy or such.
February 18th 1999
Ack!! Everything seems going wrong for me. I don't remember if I explained that I had some problems before, since I was so much involved in telling Faith's story with Kakistos.
I'll tell a bit about what happen to me because if Faith ever read this, I want her to know why it took me so long to arrive, if I ever arrive"¦
I began to have problems in El Paso. I had spent about 3 days there, to earn enough money to take a bus to the next big city, as I did since I began this trip.
I had found by some incredible chance, a job in a kind of little restaurant. I had to work as a dishwasher, and it was only for a few days, to replace the person who usually did this work.
The boss was a 50 oldish man, not very welcoming and I would dare to say that he was stinky. But well, I had to do this job, because I would earn more money than ever since I had began my trip, and it would enable me to faster my journey.
But during the 4th day, something went wrong. The man had already asked me questions cause I looked quite young, and I had tried to invent a story that could make him let me in peace. This day, I felt that something would happen, and I was careful with this boss because I had seen into his mind that he really wondered lots of thing about me.
As I enter by the back door of the restaurant I hurry cause I was late, I felt at once that something unusual was happening. I went into the boss' mind again, and he was actually in the main room, talking to two policemen. And of course, he was talking about me.
I don't know how I didn't see this coming; I should have seen it, with this ability.
But well, I still had a chance. Nobody had seen me yet, and I still could escape. Hopefully, I had money, because I had asked to the guy to pay me at the end of each day.
I slowly went back, and began to walk away from the area. But I was still in their minds, and I hear them think about checking out outside, since they didn't see me.
I began to run in the street and turned as soon as I could in a corner. They hadn't seen me but I had to leave the town ASAP!
The next bus to leave the town was about two hours ahead, and it went to Van Horn. Wong way, it was as if I went back, but I though it might be the better solution.
I wander for the two hours, being very careful, and then I went to the bus station"¦ but the two cops were there.
I began to worry a bit. They still had not seen me, but I could take the bus.
I had no other solution than to hitch, hoping that I would meet those two crazy guys once more, or some other crazy drivers.
It was about 6 in the afternoon, and the sun rose slowly behind the horizon.
A woman, who drives to Alamogordo, finally took me. But it wasn't for a long time. There was a roadblock, and this time, I couldn't escape.
They got me. And now, it's been 3 days that they keep me here, and they want to send me back in NY. In the beginning, I thought it wasn't a problem and that I could escape, but I begin to doubt about it now.
When I think that my sister is responsible for that!!!
Well, yes, cause I didn't explained yet the whole thing. You might think that to put roadblock for a little runaway is a bit, too much??
It's all because of my sister.
But they come to bring me back there, they want to put me into the plane I heard. I must find a way to escape, I MUST go to see Faith, to help her to get out of this thing, cause she really hasn't got a nasty streak, she has a huge kind heart, she just doesn't show it, and tends to let it be swallowed by anger.
Really glad u like it, I thought it would seem crappy or such.
February 18th 1999
Ack!! Everything seems going wrong for me. I don't remember if I explained that I had some problems before, since I was so much involved in telling Faith's story with Kakistos.
I'll tell a bit about what happen to me because if Faith ever read this, I want her to know why it took me so long to arrive, if I ever arrive"¦
I began to have problems in El Paso. I had spent about 3 days there, to earn enough money to take a bus to the next big city, as I did since I began this trip.
I had found by some incredible chance, a job in a kind of little restaurant. I had to work as a dishwasher, and it was only for a few days, to replace the person who usually did this work.
The boss was a 50 oldish man, not very welcoming and I would dare to say that he was stinky. But well, I had to do this job, because I would earn more money than ever since I had began my trip, and it would enable me to faster my journey.
But during the 4th day, something went wrong. The man had already asked me questions cause I looked quite young, and I had tried to invent a story that could make him let me in peace. This day, I felt that something would happen, and I was careful with this boss because I had seen into his mind that he really wondered lots of thing about me.
As I enter by the back door of the restaurant I hurry cause I was late, I felt at once that something unusual was happening. I went into the boss' mind again, and he was actually in the main room, talking to two policemen. And of course, he was talking about me.
I don't know how I didn't see this coming; I should have seen it, with this ability.
But well, I still had a chance. Nobody had seen me yet, and I still could escape. Hopefully, I had money, because I had asked to the guy to pay me at the end of each day.
I slowly went back, and began to walk away from the area. But I was still in their minds, and I hear them think about checking out outside, since they didn't see me.
I began to run in the street and turned as soon as I could in a corner. They hadn't seen me but I had to leave the town ASAP!
The next bus to leave the town was about two hours ahead, and it went to Van Horn. Wong way, it was as if I went back, but I though it might be the better solution.
I wander for the two hours, being very careful, and then I went to the bus station"¦ but the two cops were there.
I began to worry a bit. They still had not seen me, but I could take the bus.
I had no other solution than to hitch, hoping that I would meet those two crazy guys once more, or some other crazy drivers.
It was about 6 in the afternoon, and the sun rose slowly behind the horizon.
A woman, who drives to Alamogordo, finally took me. But it wasn't for a long time. There was a roadblock, and this time, I couldn't escape.
They got me. And now, it's been 3 days that they keep me here, and they want to send me back in NY. In the beginning, I thought it wasn't a problem and that I could escape, but I begin to doubt about it now.
When I think that my sister is responsible for that!!!
Well, yes, cause I didn't explained yet the whole thing. You might think that to put roadblock for a little runaway is a bit, too much??
It's all because of my sister.
But they come to bring me back there, they want to put me into the plane I heard. I must find a way to escape, I MUST go to see Faith, to help her to get out of this thing, cause she really hasn't got a nasty streak, she has a huge kind heart, she just doesn't show it, and tends to let it be swallowed by anger.
Lulladreamy
Faith's past teller
- Joined
- Dec 1, 2003
- Messages
- 41
February 19th 1999
Dang it, they put me into the plane, and there is nothing I can do for now. I will escape again, there is nothing they can do to prevent me from this, I'll never give up.
So that you could understand why I was so much looked for, I should go on the story where I let it.
Faith had left all of sudden when we were in Helen's house to pick up our belongings.
I hadn't time to do anything that she was already far. I probed her mind, but she kept thinking of plain things as if she wanted to conceal something from me.
She went by bus, till the high skyscraper and entered one of them.
I was rummaging in the house, and I thought about taking the money from where Helen had told she hid it. But there was nothing, it was empty. I understood that Faith had taken it already.
Back in her mind, I tried to figure out what she intended to do with it. It came as a bombshell: Faith, my sister, the person I had spent my life with till this day, was talking to a woman, working in a fostering center.
I heard the whole talk between them. Faith gave every slightest dollar saved by Helen, in order to have me taken in a foster family and to make sure that I would be safe and under surveillance so that I would be unable to try to escape and catch her up - cause of course she knew I would do it -.
Helen had saved much more money than what I thought, and Faith had no problem to get what she wanted granted.
I was so much worked up to see this. She betrayed me; she just got rid of me, like she would do with an old knife. Anger overwhelmed me and I ran away from the house, stopping to read her mind"¦ the mind of this traitor.
How could she do this to me? What would she become if I weren't by her side, to make her feel better, with my ability to take the torment from her chest? And how would I survive without her? What would I become?
The anger turned slowly in sorrow as I was running further. I couldn't live without her, I had never had anyone else to take care of me but Helen, and she was dead.
Unintentionally, I had run to our secret place, the one where we used to hide when we lived with our mother. I sat on the floor, and finally went back into my sister's mind. I was so much focused on myself before, that I hadn't see further than the facts, I hadn't looked how she felt about all of this.
I should have known though, that it was one of the hardest things to do for her. It was like the first time she had fought against me, to teach me.
She was pretending so well again. She looked perfectly calm in front of the woman, whereas inside, she was ripped.
I don't know how she guessed, but when she came back, she hesitated a second, and headed toward our hiding-place, instead of going back to Helen's house.
She amazed like that more than once, because she hadn't my ability, but sometimes she guessed things.
I was staring into space, still reading her thoughts when she arrived. She didn't say anything, and just sat on my side, and put her arm around my shoulders. She remained still for a while, thinking to Helen, and then, she began to explain me mentally, why she did it. Words would have been pointless, and she knew it. Had she talked, I would have argued with her, I would have found reason to prevent her to put me in a foster family.
She explained to me that it was the best for me, that it would be safer.
It was too much dangerous for me to live with her, because she would spend her life surrounded by demons and such, and the example of Kakistos showed that she couldn't protect me enough.
In a family, I would be safe, and I would go to school, and maybe, I would find a parental love.
She told I had to forget her, and to forget everything in my past, and that I would start a new life.
But I broke the silence. She would never make me forget her. So far, I knew she had thought what really was in her mind, but this"¦ was too much. She didn't really want me to forget her.
'You can't ask me that, you don't even mean it' I shouted. She looked at me, and kept being silent. By mind, she repeated that I had to forget her, so that I could build a new life on good basis.
I just told her that she couldn't force me to do so, and that I knew she didn't want it.
She smiled because thought that we were alike in being stubborn.
We remained there for some hours, first without moving. Faith left her thought wandering, in the memories of our childhood and I was following every little thought.
I felt her tiredness, and I realized that she had not slept for a long time. I remembered what I used to do when I was younger, and I began to comb her hair with my hands. As a child, I loved to comb hair, and since it relaxed my sister, I used to do this often, when she was anxious or worrying. And this time again it was working, as it had always did"¦ Faith fell asleep about 10 minutes after I had begun.
At that moment, I felt that she was the youngest, and that I had to take care of her. I put my coat on her, and go on combing. I made the decision to accept for now what she wanted, and to let her leave alone. I thought that if I came later, she wouldn't send me back when she would see me there.
She needed to be alone, to escape to Kakistos, without having me as a burden. But then, once she would have crossed the whole country and killed him, I was sure there she would agree to let me live with her again.
Dang it, they put me into the plane, and there is nothing I can do for now. I will escape again, there is nothing they can do to prevent me from this, I'll never give up.
So that you could understand why I was so much looked for, I should go on the story where I let it.
Faith had left all of sudden when we were in Helen's house to pick up our belongings.
I hadn't time to do anything that she was already far. I probed her mind, but she kept thinking of plain things as if she wanted to conceal something from me.
She went by bus, till the high skyscraper and entered one of them.
I was rummaging in the house, and I thought about taking the money from where Helen had told she hid it. But there was nothing, it was empty. I understood that Faith had taken it already.
Back in her mind, I tried to figure out what she intended to do with it. It came as a bombshell: Faith, my sister, the person I had spent my life with till this day, was talking to a woman, working in a fostering center.
I heard the whole talk between them. Faith gave every slightest dollar saved by Helen, in order to have me taken in a foster family and to make sure that I would be safe and under surveillance so that I would be unable to try to escape and catch her up - cause of course she knew I would do it -.
Helen had saved much more money than what I thought, and Faith had no problem to get what she wanted granted.
I was so much worked up to see this. She betrayed me; she just got rid of me, like she would do with an old knife. Anger overwhelmed me and I ran away from the house, stopping to read her mind"¦ the mind of this traitor.
How could she do this to me? What would she become if I weren't by her side, to make her feel better, with my ability to take the torment from her chest? And how would I survive without her? What would I become?
The anger turned slowly in sorrow as I was running further. I couldn't live without her, I had never had anyone else to take care of me but Helen, and she was dead.
Unintentionally, I had run to our secret place, the one where we used to hide when we lived with our mother. I sat on the floor, and finally went back into my sister's mind. I was so much focused on myself before, that I hadn't see further than the facts, I hadn't looked how she felt about all of this.
I should have known though, that it was one of the hardest things to do for her. It was like the first time she had fought against me, to teach me.
She was pretending so well again. She looked perfectly calm in front of the woman, whereas inside, she was ripped.
I don't know how she guessed, but when she came back, she hesitated a second, and headed toward our hiding-place, instead of going back to Helen's house.
She amazed like that more than once, because she hadn't my ability, but sometimes she guessed things.
I was staring into space, still reading her thoughts when she arrived. She didn't say anything, and just sat on my side, and put her arm around my shoulders. She remained still for a while, thinking to Helen, and then, she began to explain me mentally, why she did it. Words would have been pointless, and she knew it. Had she talked, I would have argued with her, I would have found reason to prevent her to put me in a foster family.
She explained to me that it was the best for me, that it would be safer.
It was too much dangerous for me to live with her, because she would spend her life surrounded by demons and such, and the example of Kakistos showed that she couldn't protect me enough.
In a family, I would be safe, and I would go to school, and maybe, I would find a parental love.
She told I had to forget her, and to forget everything in my past, and that I would start a new life.
But I broke the silence. She would never make me forget her. So far, I knew she had thought what really was in her mind, but this"¦ was too much. She didn't really want me to forget her.
'You can't ask me that, you don't even mean it' I shouted. She looked at me, and kept being silent. By mind, she repeated that I had to forget her, so that I could build a new life on good basis.
I just told her that she couldn't force me to do so, and that I knew she didn't want it.
She smiled because thought that we were alike in being stubborn.
We remained there for some hours, first without moving. Faith left her thought wandering, in the memories of our childhood and I was following every little thought.
I felt her tiredness, and I realized that she had not slept for a long time. I remembered what I used to do when I was younger, and I began to comb her hair with my hands. As a child, I loved to comb hair, and since it relaxed my sister, I used to do this often, when she was anxious or worrying. And this time again it was working, as it had always did"¦ Faith fell asleep about 10 minutes after I had begun.
At that moment, I felt that she was the youngest, and that I had to take care of her. I put my coat on her, and go on combing. I made the decision to accept for now what she wanted, and to let her leave alone. I thought that if I came later, she wouldn't send me back when she would see me there.
She needed to be alone, to escape to Kakistos, without having me as a burden. But then, once she would have crossed the whole country and killed him, I was sure there she would agree to let me live with her again.
Lulladreamy
Faith's past teller
- Joined
- Dec 1, 2003
- Messages
- 41
February 19th 1999
- a few hours later, i.e. during the night. I'm in New York; they put me into this white room, waiting to find another family. I cannot sleep, this whiteness freak me out.-
Before to leave to New York - Faith had been told to bring me there because the head office was there or something - remained a last thing to do… we had to say bye to our mother.
I'm sure that some people don't understand why we kept thinking of her, and why we still wanted to see her a last time. I'm not sure I can explain… it's different depending on people… let's just say that despite the whole sh*t we had to go through because of her… well, she remained our mother.
I already explained it kinda. For example let me tell you that if anyone insulted our mother at school, both Faith and I fought with the little bugger. We allowed no one to say anything bad about her.
I might explain first what happen with her when we had left to live with Helen.
Actually, out mother and Helen had a talk, a few days after that Faith decided to tell to Helen a part of our story. Helen threatened a little our mother to make her let us go. She told her that if she persisted to keep us, she would have to alert children protection services, and that they would put us into foster family.
Our mother finally said it was ok when Helen gave her some money, and promised to take care of us -I let you guess what of the two interested the more out mother -.
We lived with Helen for nine months, and went to visit our mother twice. Each time, Helen had to give her some money to make her let us leave, because she said that she couldn't live without us -which was kind of true since she hadn't Faith anymore to bring her money and alcohol -.
When all of the story with Kakistos happened, we hadn't seen our mother for about five months.
We went in our old and crappy neighborhood and to our old and crappy house -did I dare to call it a house? -
At once, we noticed something quite unusual the shutters were open. Our mother used to let them closed all the time since she drank at night and slept it off during the day. I told Faith that it was weird, because I didn't feel our mother's mind. Oddly I found it neither in the house, nor anywhere else. I hadn't tried to see our mother's mind during all this time, and now it was like she had disappeared. I thought something might be wrong with me… but then, another idea dawned on me. Anyway, I just rejected the idea, cause it seems impossible to me.
We passed the gate, and then the door of the house, trying to be as quiet as possible in case she would have been sleeping.
Everything had changed inside of the house. Instead of the old dirty sofa were two plain but clean armchairs. All over the main room had changed.
The door slammed quite loudly behind us, and a voice asked from what was our bedroom, if it was 'you darling'.
Faith and I looked at each other quite stunned. It wasn't our mother's voice; it was a meek and mild female voice. The woman appeared in the doorway of the room, and looked at us very surprised. A frown came on her lovely face and she shouted 'get out you little thieves!'
We stepped back a little, but then Faith decided to explain to her that we weren't thieves but that we used to live in this house with our mother, and that we were actually looking for her. The woman calmed down at once. She apologized, telling that there were a lot of thieves all around. Then she explained us that she lived in this house for more than two months already. My sister asked her if she had any idea about where the former inhabitant lived, and the woman gave us a look than meant 'Aww poor child I'm sorry'.
Faith thought she was sorry because she didn't know where to find her… for my concern, I knew already that the feeling I had had earlier was actually true.
The woman came at us, knelt in front of us and told us with a pathetic tone 'You must be strong children, you're mother is happy in another place now, she is safe with God'.
Faith and I answered in our head the same thing at the same time when we heard this 'in Hell you mean!'
Faith had for a second her so particular look that make people think that her mind is miles away from where she actually stands, and then, she uttered a 'thanks' and left. I followed her, running away from the woman that began to yell at us to wait.
It was strange to know she was dead. I was very surprised that I didn't feel anything when she died. I thought that I would at least be aware of something, have a little clue, that would told me 'your mother is dead'. But there had been nothing coming from her during those happy months we lived with Helen. My 'ability' had like left me for this concern.
For me, it wasn't really an awful loss, though I realized she was my mother. But it was different for Faith … you can understand it if you've read what I said about the relation between Faith and our mother.
It was melt and odd in her mind. There was a kind of relief, but going with a grief. Faith had lost her two parental figures in less than a week. Of course, Helen was the more important one to her eyes, but our mother still remained a big part into my sister's life. As I said before, Faith knew her more than I did since she was older and she cared about her more than I did, because she hadn't an older sister to take as a model, and took this model on the older chick around, i.e. our mother.
- a few hours later, i.e. during the night. I'm in New York; they put me into this white room, waiting to find another family. I cannot sleep, this whiteness freak me out.-
Before to leave to New York - Faith had been told to bring me there because the head office was there or something - remained a last thing to do… we had to say bye to our mother.
I'm sure that some people don't understand why we kept thinking of her, and why we still wanted to see her a last time. I'm not sure I can explain… it's different depending on people… let's just say that despite the whole sh*t we had to go through because of her… well, she remained our mother.
I already explained it kinda. For example let me tell you that if anyone insulted our mother at school, both Faith and I fought with the little bugger. We allowed no one to say anything bad about her.
I might explain first what happen with her when we had left to live with Helen.
Actually, out mother and Helen had a talk, a few days after that Faith decided to tell to Helen a part of our story. Helen threatened a little our mother to make her let us go. She told her that if she persisted to keep us, she would have to alert children protection services, and that they would put us into foster family.
Our mother finally said it was ok when Helen gave her some money, and promised to take care of us -I let you guess what of the two interested the more out mother -.
We lived with Helen for nine months, and went to visit our mother twice. Each time, Helen had to give her some money to make her let us leave, because she said that she couldn't live without us -which was kind of true since she hadn't Faith anymore to bring her money and alcohol -.
When all of the story with Kakistos happened, we hadn't seen our mother for about five months.
We went in our old and crappy neighborhood and to our old and crappy house -did I dare to call it a house? -
At once, we noticed something quite unusual the shutters were open. Our mother used to let them closed all the time since she drank at night and slept it off during the day. I told Faith that it was weird, because I didn't feel our mother's mind. Oddly I found it neither in the house, nor anywhere else. I hadn't tried to see our mother's mind during all this time, and now it was like she had disappeared. I thought something might be wrong with me… but then, another idea dawned on me. Anyway, I just rejected the idea, cause it seems impossible to me.
We passed the gate, and then the door of the house, trying to be as quiet as possible in case she would have been sleeping.
Everything had changed inside of the house. Instead of the old dirty sofa were two plain but clean armchairs. All over the main room had changed.
The door slammed quite loudly behind us, and a voice asked from what was our bedroom, if it was 'you darling'.
Faith and I looked at each other quite stunned. It wasn't our mother's voice; it was a meek and mild female voice. The woman appeared in the doorway of the room, and looked at us very surprised. A frown came on her lovely face and she shouted 'get out you little thieves!'
We stepped back a little, but then Faith decided to explain to her that we weren't thieves but that we used to live in this house with our mother, and that we were actually looking for her. The woman calmed down at once. She apologized, telling that there were a lot of thieves all around. Then she explained us that she lived in this house for more than two months already. My sister asked her if she had any idea about where the former inhabitant lived, and the woman gave us a look than meant 'Aww poor child I'm sorry'.
Faith thought she was sorry because she didn't know where to find her… for my concern, I knew already that the feeling I had had earlier was actually true.
The woman came at us, knelt in front of us and told us with a pathetic tone 'You must be strong children, you're mother is happy in another place now, she is safe with God'.
Faith and I answered in our head the same thing at the same time when we heard this 'in Hell you mean!'
Faith had for a second her so particular look that make people think that her mind is miles away from where she actually stands, and then, she uttered a 'thanks' and left. I followed her, running away from the woman that began to yell at us to wait.
It was strange to know she was dead. I was very surprised that I didn't feel anything when she died. I thought that I would at least be aware of something, have a little clue, that would told me 'your mother is dead'. But there had been nothing coming from her during those happy months we lived with Helen. My 'ability' had like left me for this concern.
For me, it wasn't really an awful loss, though I realized she was my mother. But it was different for Faith … you can understand it if you've read what I said about the relation between Faith and our mother.
It was melt and odd in her mind. There was a kind of relief, but going with a grief. Faith had lost her two parental figures in less than a week. Of course, Helen was the more important one to her eyes, but our mother still remained a big part into my sister's life. As I said before, Faith knew her more than I did since she was older and she cared about her more than I did, because she hadn't an older sister to take as a model, and took this model on the older chick around, i.e. our mother.
Lulladreamy
Faith's past teller
- Joined
- Dec 1, 2003
- Messages
- 41
February 20th 1999
We left the same day, in bus, and headed to New York. Faith was silence. I wanted to do something for her, but I couldn't find anything that would make her feel better.
The only was thing she asked me during the journey, was to know if I had read anything in the woman's head that let me know why our mother was dead. But I was unable to answer this question though I guessed it was probably linked to alcohol.
We spent about a week in the Big Apple, just together, waiting that they find me a family. We had Helen's money and so, not to worry about how to find a place to sleep or how to eat. I think it was the best week I ever spent, if I forget the sadness I felt because I knew she would leave.
Faith tried to make me forget it; she wanted us to spend a great last week together. Kakistos didn't seem to have followed us, and we didn't have to hide.
I keep the vivid memory of each second. We wandered in the streets of Manhattan, in Central Park, we went into those places to play virtual game, and we went to the cinema"¦ we were just normal sisters, having a kind of normal life. That was the first time I saw Faith laugh so much, and it was not the laugh she has when she pretends to be happy.
We were in a hotel, not in a luxurious one, but at least, it wasn't a crappy one either.
The last night of the week, the day before she had to go, we tried for the first time a TV-pop-corn evening. We watched a crappy show, or more exactly a crappy show was on and we spent an hour to criticize it, making fun of every person. Then, for the first time since a long time, we played this game, that we played often when we were still in Boston with our mother. I had to read her mind and tell aloud everything I could see. With this game, I often realized, and so did she, that mind was actually very complex. Sometimes I misunderstood some things, some other times, I pointed out true things that were in her unconscious. The thing was to argue, (just speaking) to know what was true and what I had misunderstood. This time, like before, we began on trivial point, and went little by little to more important things. We came to talk about Faith's departure and me, having to be in a foster family.
I wanted to make her tell that she didn't really want me to stay here, while she would go to Sunnydale alone. And on this point, I managed to do well. She finally admitted it, but it didn't change anything. She told so much reasons why I had to stay here. I would be safe, I would have a good schooling, and I would have a chance to lead a 'normal' life"¦
In the beginning, I tried to trick Faith with what she thought but didn't' tell. But in the end, she was so convinced by what she was saying that I knew I couldn't make her change her mind on the subject.
Then, we talk for the first time about what happened, when Faith was able to hear me talking to her into her mind. She asked me how I managed to do it, but I returned her the question. I wanted to try again, while we were just in front of each other, but she refused. She didn't want me to practice, because she guessed I planed to do it when she would be away. Actually, I told her clearly that I wanted to do it, and go on talking to her when I wouldn't see her anymore. And there again, she reminded me she wanted me to forget her, to stop to read her mind. She tried to make me promise to do so, for like an hour. Nicely in the beginning, then trying to afraid me, then threatening me, and even with a desperate tone of voice. But I resisted, she gave up and I never made the promise.
We actually didn't sleep at all this night, and when the dawn appeared, we were still talking. I wanted to stop the time, and to prevent the sun to go on its road in the sky.
We took our breakfast silently this morning, the head full of the talk of the night. While we were riding to the building Faith had been told to go, she tried to cheer me up. She made some of these remarks so typical to her, that I was used to find funny. Despite all the reasons she had told, I bore a grudge against her to let me down here. It wasn't fair for her, because she did it for me, though it was hard, because she knew that in the end, SHE would be alone while I would be in a family. But I was mean; the sadness prevented me to be kind with her. I thought so much to the night-talk we just had, and I didn't understand how she could still want me to be away from her. My behavior hurt her more, and I'm ashamed to say that I wanted her to be very sad. I wanted her to suffer to let me. Today, this is one thing I'd like to change in the past. I was so childish at this very moment. I hoped that she would change her mind because of my behavior, but I actually knew she wouldn't. This is the meanest thing I ever did to her. Till this end, I remained stubborn. Till the very end, till she left, I sulked, like a f*cking little brat!!! I regret so much what I did.
And despite my meanness, she told in her head - because she knew I was reading hers- that she loved me but that I had to forget everything and lead a new life. The last time I saw her, she was smiling at me, though she was sadden by my behavior, and she told me '5x5 huh?' before to disappear behind the door. Those last words stroke me deeply. I remained without moving for a few second, but then I decided to run after her to apologize and to tell her bye"¦ as I opened the door of the office I was in, I saw the door of the lift to close"¦ too late. I wanted to follow, to go down by the staircase, but the woman of the office grabbed me by the arm, and they prevent me to go. My stupid behavior had wasted the last moment I had spent with my sister, and I wasn't even sure to ever see her again.
I kept following her in her mind, I tried to talk to her, but she didn't listen to me. Sorrow dwelt in her, and though she knew where she had to go, she was lost and lonely.
We left the same day, in bus, and headed to New York. Faith was silence. I wanted to do something for her, but I couldn't find anything that would make her feel better.
The only was thing she asked me during the journey, was to know if I had read anything in the woman's head that let me know why our mother was dead. But I was unable to answer this question though I guessed it was probably linked to alcohol.
We spent about a week in the Big Apple, just together, waiting that they find me a family. We had Helen's money and so, not to worry about how to find a place to sleep or how to eat. I think it was the best week I ever spent, if I forget the sadness I felt because I knew she would leave.
Faith tried to make me forget it; she wanted us to spend a great last week together. Kakistos didn't seem to have followed us, and we didn't have to hide.
I keep the vivid memory of each second. We wandered in the streets of Manhattan, in Central Park, we went into those places to play virtual game, and we went to the cinema"¦ we were just normal sisters, having a kind of normal life. That was the first time I saw Faith laugh so much, and it was not the laugh she has when she pretends to be happy.
We were in a hotel, not in a luxurious one, but at least, it wasn't a crappy one either.
The last night of the week, the day before she had to go, we tried for the first time a TV-pop-corn evening. We watched a crappy show, or more exactly a crappy show was on and we spent an hour to criticize it, making fun of every person. Then, for the first time since a long time, we played this game, that we played often when we were still in Boston with our mother. I had to read her mind and tell aloud everything I could see. With this game, I often realized, and so did she, that mind was actually very complex. Sometimes I misunderstood some things, some other times, I pointed out true things that were in her unconscious. The thing was to argue, (just speaking) to know what was true and what I had misunderstood. This time, like before, we began on trivial point, and went little by little to more important things. We came to talk about Faith's departure and me, having to be in a foster family.
I wanted to make her tell that she didn't really want me to stay here, while she would go to Sunnydale alone. And on this point, I managed to do well. She finally admitted it, but it didn't change anything. She told so much reasons why I had to stay here. I would be safe, I would have a good schooling, and I would have a chance to lead a 'normal' life"¦
In the beginning, I tried to trick Faith with what she thought but didn't' tell. But in the end, she was so convinced by what she was saying that I knew I couldn't make her change her mind on the subject.
Then, we talk for the first time about what happened, when Faith was able to hear me talking to her into her mind. She asked me how I managed to do it, but I returned her the question. I wanted to try again, while we were just in front of each other, but she refused. She didn't want me to practice, because she guessed I planed to do it when she would be away. Actually, I told her clearly that I wanted to do it, and go on talking to her when I wouldn't see her anymore. And there again, she reminded me she wanted me to forget her, to stop to read her mind. She tried to make me promise to do so, for like an hour. Nicely in the beginning, then trying to afraid me, then threatening me, and even with a desperate tone of voice. But I resisted, she gave up and I never made the promise.
We actually didn't sleep at all this night, and when the dawn appeared, we were still talking. I wanted to stop the time, and to prevent the sun to go on its road in the sky.
We took our breakfast silently this morning, the head full of the talk of the night. While we were riding to the building Faith had been told to go, she tried to cheer me up. She made some of these remarks so typical to her, that I was used to find funny. Despite all the reasons she had told, I bore a grudge against her to let me down here. It wasn't fair for her, because she did it for me, though it was hard, because she knew that in the end, SHE would be alone while I would be in a family. But I was mean; the sadness prevented me to be kind with her. I thought so much to the night-talk we just had, and I didn't understand how she could still want me to be away from her. My behavior hurt her more, and I'm ashamed to say that I wanted her to be very sad. I wanted her to suffer to let me. Today, this is one thing I'd like to change in the past. I was so childish at this very moment. I hoped that she would change her mind because of my behavior, but I actually knew she wouldn't. This is the meanest thing I ever did to her. Till this end, I remained stubborn. Till the very end, till she left, I sulked, like a f*cking little brat!!! I regret so much what I did.
And despite my meanness, she told in her head - because she knew I was reading hers- that she loved me but that I had to forget everything and lead a new life. The last time I saw her, she was smiling at me, though she was sadden by my behavior, and she told me '5x5 huh?' before to disappear behind the door. Those last words stroke me deeply. I remained without moving for a few second, but then I decided to run after her to apologize and to tell her bye"¦ as I opened the door of the office I was in, I saw the door of the lift to close"¦ too late. I wanted to follow, to go down by the staircase, but the woman of the office grabbed me by the arm, and they prevent me to go. My stupid behavior had wasted the last moment I had spent with my sister, and I wasn't even sure to ever see her again.
I kept following her in her mind, I tried to talk to her, but she didn't listen to me. Sorrow dwelt in her, and though she knew where she had to go, she was lost and lonely.