Fallig out of Love!

[*Lost Angel*]

My uncle and aunt (moms sister) got married 15 years ago and are now getting a divorce. For the last 2 years they have slept in different rooms and hates eachother secretly but stayed together for there kids.
I dont understand........why do people fall out of love?
Does love have and eperation date?

I think there wrong cuz now is the time there kids need them most, expecilay my cousin who is almost 16 and is pregnant (sp?) and their son who is turning in to an alchololic.....I think its wrong but now is not the time to hate each other.
I think the only reason there maried is for money, both are rich....but i guess the saying 'money cant buy love' finaly is proven.

 

[BillieHunter]

Yes, but this hate may be the cause of their children's problems. They can't stop the feelings of hate, and sometimes splitting up is for the best. In the long run, it may actually be better for their family situation. Although i feel two people who get divorced never really could have loved each other in the first place, people move on sometimes, but i don't ever really think you fall out of love with some one you truely loved.

 

[Allycat]

I don't know why people fall out of love. Maybe they weren't right for each other, but did the trouble not stir up in the beginning? And now that it has, they found out they didnt love each other.

 

[Xander]

People fall in love, all happy and joyful together, their relationship progresses as they learn more about each other. They find out little faults and try to fix them but dont, they get stuck into a routine, they get annoyed at partner about their faults and the routine. They argue and it gets worse and worse and worse until they eventually fall out of love.

But its a shame about you uncle and aunt, but it brings up the question would it be worse for the kids to have unhappy parents who argue and are together or fairly happy parents who are apart? A lot of couples divorce but still talk to each other, especially with kids involved. My uncle and aunt still see each other after divorcing. My mom's friend divorce her husband. Had a new relationship for a year or two and is now living with her husband for the kids, they get on but wouldn't marry again.

 

[*Lost Angel*]

Im just woried cuz my cousin is pregnant and is 15 and her brother is 18 and is getting in alot of trouble lately, and now that there parents are divorcing it could cause problems.

 

[Willow Rosenberg]

People change as they get older and sometimes in a relationship that can mean growing apart. As the months and years roll by you suddenly wake up one day and find that the person you married isn't the same person anymore, you don't know them anymore. This isn't always anybodys fault, sometimes it just happens and when it does it usually means the end of the relationship. Some people try to rediscover whatever it was that made them fall in love in the first place, and they may get lucky and fall in love all over again, mostly they just come to realise even more that they aren't in love anymore.

Staying together for the sake of the children is, in my experience, the worst thing you can do. My parents divorced when I was 14 and I lived in a home full of arguments and atmospheres that could of been cut with a knife. It was just horrible. When they divorced both my mum and my dad were so much happier which made for happier children. It was hard at first, getting used to living with just one parent but it was so nice not to have to worry about what I was going to go home to each day.

People don't realise what they have until it's too late to do anything about it. If only we all stopped each day and took stock of what we have maybe people wouldn't fall out of love so easily.

 

[Khaych]

Maybe if people weren't so focused on finding someone to 'make them feel special', and tried to focus more on mutually commiting and always being there for one another, things would go a little better.

What seperates family from friends? Answer: Your family (at least a healthy one) assumes their brothers/sisters/father/mother will always be there, whether angry or happy. Eventually, you can relax with your family, because they accept you for what you are, regardless of personal differences, and will always be there in your life.

I'm thinking when people marry and forget the whole part about being irrevocably joined as family, they are doomed to failure.

I've always been of the mind that you should think long and hard about your choice of a mate. Once you select one, consider it permanent. Failure to consider it permanent (on either side) creates a situation where you assume your partner might leave any day, and it spirals into defensiveness and distrust. The next thing you know, it is your partner's 'fault' that you don't feel special anymore, as if the entire content of your happiness was supposed to be wrapped up in a relationship with a single human being.

After all, commiting to a 'possibly temporary marriage' isn't committing at all. And it also isn't marriage, it's just dating with a legal document attached. These are my opinions anyway.