And Buffy knew that Spike had genuine feelings for her back in Season 5. "The robot was gross, What you did for me and for Dawn, that was real. I won't forget it." Maybe she didn't feel anything but gratitude for him at that point, and maybe, as Miss K says, the attempted rape in Season 6 traumatized her severely, possibly permanently. But no more so than what Angelus did to her and her friends, and she managed, in both instances, to separate the monster who attacked her from the man with a soul who was her friend, ally, and someone who she genuinely loved, whether you want to qualify that with an "in" in front of it or not. She gave Spike the exact same "Get OUT Of Jail Free" pass that she gave Angel when both men were in possession of their souls. No more, but certainly no less.
(And I STILL don't have any idea what this has to do with "fat grandchildren,")
I've said several times that Buffy was never the same after Angel, once he lost his soul Buffy lost something of herself too. There is no question that Buffy was never ever the same after what she went through with Angel in those three years.
All I was saying is that Spike hurt her too and that has to be acknowledge. I wasn't implying that if Spike hurt her than Angel didn't.