"The dead lesbian "“ Tara
The breakdown of women without a male partner or when the male partner leaves "“ Buffy, Anya, Willow and on and on "“ in a way where we rarely if ever saw the reverse with Xander and Giles.
There's a way in which Joss likes to consistently pair physical strength in girls with emotional weakness or ****ed-up-ness, almost as if they have to exist side by side and that's what pissed me off more than anything."
They were just listing a few problems they had with the series.
"As someone whose feminism has a very sex-positive emphasis, I'm honestly disturbed by Joss's treatment of sexuality in general, at least in Buffy and Angel: you do get the attitude that sex is a horrible destructive force, that it's something Evil Men want and Good Girls don't, that women who *do* enjoy sex, particularly casual or kinky sex, are damaged (Faith and S6 Buffy) and so forth. I mean, I can get, and celebrate in an ironic way, the "love makes NOTHING better" theme, but there's a specific anti-sexual element in some of this stuff that creeps me out. "
"One thing I would add to the problem list is Willow's magical addition "“ simply having her get hooked, as if it were a drug, made her a victim of her own power "“ when she's powerful, she's evil and mad, when she's weak (not using magic), she's good (and she gets captured in the episode she does significant non-magical work, emphasising her reduced power)."
As for Tara being the dead lesbian, I refer back to a previous comment of mine... Tara wasn't a dead lesbian; she was a dead person. And her death sparked the most BA Big Bad ever... Dark Willow. No one can say that girl doesn't have power!
The women don't break down when a male partner leaves... people break down when people-partners leave. Buffy, Anya, and Willow all had their hearts broken by men. But Willow was crying and went off the deepend with magick when Tara left (Tabula Rasa+) and again, became DARK WILLOW when Tara died. Buffy was a wreck when Angel left her, but Angel wasn't in such great shape himself (not when he was Angelous of course, but on Angel, his feelings for Buffy and the angst it gets him in are mentioned on a number of occasions.). After ditching Anya at the alter, Xander disappears for days, wandering about in the rain. If that's not a breakdown, I'm not entirely sure what is. And Giles when Jenny died? He went crazy and tried to kill Angelous (Passion). And his feelings about the incident remained (I Only Have Eyes for You, a large part of Season 3). The guys get just as shaken up when the girls leave them and the girls get shaken up when the girl leaves them. I'm not seeing the gender-inequality here.
Physical strength and emotional weakness aren't linked, in my opinion. *Everyone* on Buffy had emotional issues... not just the women. And everyone had strength, too, although the men's was a bit more subtle. And I can't think about calling the women of the Buffyverse emotionally "weak." Yeah, they had issues... but let's think:
Season1: Buffy faces the master even though she knows she's gonna die.
Season2: Willow begins to get over Xander and into a successful relationship with Oz. Buffy kills Angel, the love of her life, even when she knows his soul was back.
Season3: Buffy comes back to accept her identity. She saves Angel at risk to herself even though he broke her heart. Willow comes to terms with her good and dark sides (sorta). Cordy thanks Xander even when *he* broke her heart.
Season4: Buffy, in a cavewoman state, both saves Parker (who broke her heart) and gets her revenge at the same time (hits him over the head with a stick). She gets into a non-hurtful relationship. The Scoobies are all friends again. Willow suffers from Oz, but that opens the door for Tara and Willow chooses her.
Season5: Checkpoint. The Body. The Gift... what else can be said?? In case that doesn't help so much, in Checkpoint, Buffy gets tired of being used for her strength and so takes control. In the Body, all of the women display such emotional strength- they get through it. They were "strong like Amazons." It should also be noted that this was the first gay/lesbian kiss aired on a major network. The Gift... Buffy sacrifices herself to save Dawn.
Season6: Willow overcomes her addiction. Buffy deals with being back. Anya is in the process of dealing with Xander leaving her. Tara has the strength to leave Willow when she knows the relationship isn't good. Dawn and Buffy develop a closer relationship. Buffy gets out of a destructive relationship.
Season7: Basically a summing up of the previous points of previous seasons.
As for the sex... I don't see a sexual double standard. I don't think Joss is trying to say that sex leads to relationship ends. I think he's trying to say that sex is in relationships and relationships end. Correlation is not causation. Any sex with a negative outcome was negative for both parties. The sex in the lesbian relationships don't end badly (Tara does get shot, but see my previous point about Tara). Kinky sex isn't looked down on either. When Anya and Xander get it on in Season 7- Storyteller, they say that they wish they had chains, a sentiment which is repeated in the next episode. Spike and Buffy's relationship ended badly because a) Spike was souless/Buffy didn't love him at the time and b) she was using him. Using people for sex is looked down on- not sex itself.
With Willow... strength and magick are NOT synonymous. I think Willow was VERY strong to get off the magicks. And she did use her "strength" of magic for good. She turned the Potentials into Slayers (becoming a freakin Goddess!), messed with Glory and a number of other things. Magick isn't looked down on; addiction is. And again I have to refer to my people argument... Willow wasn't a woman whose "strength" correlated with goodness. She was a person. But again, I'm not seeing how strength and magick are the same thing.
I hope this helped and I certainly enjoy discussing this (it's something I think a lot about... obviously. lol) I'm afraid this one might be a bit hard to understand because I'm insanely tired at the moment, but I think it's clear and I hope it helps. And that it causes interesting discussion.
