First Dates... Actual dates, not the episode!

[caitaintdead]

Right, so for the first time in a very long time I have been asked out on a date and I have actually said yes.

I'm not exactly a stranger to interactions with men, but my experience with actual dates is very limited! We're going to a casual but very 'in' bar. We all know the type. Wall art, vintage furniture and chunky wood benches. Craft beers and expensive cheese platters.

Everyone always seems to go by the age old 'jeans and a nice shirt' for a first date but I don't even own jeans! I also don't want to go too hipster-cool-kid with this guy, he's more of an ex country boy that watches football. I'm thinking black boots, stockings, black tee and black and white striped a-line skirt.

So, to keep my mind off the nerves that are bubbling, entertain me BB!

What outfits have you worn on first dates that have been successful (or been total disasters)?

Ever been on a blind date?

Give me your best stories!

 

[Nix]

The last date I went on was jeans and black low cut top... successful and I felt comfy.... 2nd date was long skirt and top.... disaster for feeling comfy....skirt kept rising and when it wasn't doing that I was tripping over it lol. Dress to be comfy or it will be a nightmare. All you have to do is add in a small amount of effort, a small amount of make-up and be yourself. Good luck hun xx

 

[Skanky Vamp]

Non non non no.. I would recommend you NOT be yourself. Just sit there all quiet like. Since most people like to only talk about themselves, just sit there and let him talk about himself. Then if he actually stops to ask about you, and it's not just an attempt to segue into another topic which he can dominate the conversation, then you know you have a winner. If he dominates the conversation whilst you sit idly by watching the paint dry at least you will have gotten a free meal out of it and don't have to worry about a second date.

Never be yourself on the first date. No good can ever come of it.

 

[Vigeous]

Dude perspective here.

I agree with Nix. If he asked you out chances are he's going to think you look nice in whatever you decide to wear. That's not to say show up in your pj's, obviously, but be comfortable.

Good luck!

As for my stories; I haven't done too much asking lately either. My last first date I wore a casual dress shirt and jeans. It wasn't a disaster or a huge success but it was fun. Never been on a blind date though.

 

[Fuffy]

Don't really have any experience in the date department, but just be yourself and the date should be ok because guys (and girls) like it when their date is being themselves.
Hopefully, you will enjoy it 🙂 (and good luck)

 

[thetopher]

Be yourself because really what's the alternative? Lie, that's what. Nobody wants to date a big fibber, at least not knowingly.

Be comfortable, remember that they're almost certainly in the same boat you are (wondering, worrying, trying on multiple outfits or whatever) so it won't really be that bad.
Be casual, listen to what they say and take note of how often they want to talk about themselves or when they ask about you- it's a good indicator of their personality.

If you're not liking the date (or the person) then to hell with it, have fun, lie or do whatever. Enjoy the meal and the drinks if not the company.

 

[Taake]

HA! The only date-outfit I can remember was one that I wore for a blind date (jeans and an Alice in Chains t-shirt), and I mostly remember it because the guy in question - after swearing they were his favorite band - stated very proudly; "Did you know that Kurt Cobain is in the band again? They're releasing a new album!"

Mind this was like in 2007...

Not too politely I pointed out that Cobain had kind of been dead for a while and that he was in Nirvana, not AIC, and dude got flustered but insisted that Cobain was back in AIC and that I had it wrong.

There was no second date...


Hope you had fun on yours though and that you ate some good cheese and felt comfortable in your clothes 😀

 

[brinkster130]

On my last first date we went to a football game (Oregon/Flordia State Rosebowl game, so it was outside and in the low 50's once the sun went down) so I dressed very casually and warm. Jeans, grey sweater, Nikes and of course a OU hat. I did spend some time worrying about hair and makeup because I wanted to look good even though we were in a very casual setting. The date and game both went well!

I've been on one blind date and it was horribly awkward. I don't exactly remember what I wore but I know I spent a lot of time worrying about it. I remember my date saying something negative about girls who liked sports and he made a vague comment about wishing I had worn something more girly....needless to say I never spoke to the guy again.

 

[Skanky Vamp]

two things:

On my last first date

What a pessimistic attitude! you have sworn off first dates

we went to a football game Oregon/Flordia State Rosebowl game

That would be an amazing first date.

 

[Fuffy Baith]

Well congrats on getting a date! I agree with every one else though, just be yourself. Put some effort into the way you look, but don't over do it. Just enough to look good but not so much that he thinks you've spent hour getting ready. That's too fake, and high maintenance.

As for my first dates, I don't wear or really own any skirts or dresses, so I always just wear some nice jeans and a nice top, not too low cut. Probably wear my converse though. lol. Some make up and n ice earrings. But really it's all about how well you two get along and how comfortable you are with each other that makes a date good or bad. Although sometimes I do question a guy outfit, like put some effort into looking nice for me. The last date I went on was ok, but we didnt go on a second date, it's either there or it's not. But I totally understand about being nervous, just have a few drinks (not too many) and try to relax.

 

[caitaintdead]

On my last first date we went to a football game (Oregon/Flordia State Rosebowl game, so it was outside and in the low 50's once the sun went down) so I dressed very casually and warm. Jeans, grey sweater, Nikes and of course a OU hat. I did spend some time worrying about hair and makeup because I wanted to look good even though we were in a very casual setting. The date and game both went well!

I've been on one blind date and it was horribly awkward. I don't exactly remember what I wore but I know I spent a lot of time worrying about it. I remember my date saying something negative about girls who liked sports and he made a vague comment about wishing I had worn something more girly....needless to say I never spoke to the guy again.

Going to a football game sounds like an awesome first date!

I had a first date once that made sly comments about my clothes as well! We went on the first date and it was pretty good. Picked me up in an expensive car and was dressed immaculately. He took me to this posh restaurant and at the very end of the meal pieced together that he actually owned the restaurant and he admitted that his family had a decent amount of money. The date went well, I insisted that I pick up the bill for the cheap ice cream parlor that we went to after dinner. There was a kiss at the door.

About 3 or 4 days later I bumped into him after I had finished a shift and he asked if I was keen to get a drink with him and his friends and I said yes.

We got to the club and he started making comments about the fact that he had already seen me wearing that dress (it was a plain black knitted dress, styled differently) and condescendingly told me that he thought it was very brave of me to be so different, as the girls he knows would never be seen wearing the same dress twice on a night out. Needless to say, I felt very out of my depth, he thought I was too working class and that was the end of that!

Sheesh, no wonder I have a complex about clothing on the first date!!!

 

[The Bronze]

I agree with @Mr. Pole never be yourself.

Be someone else and if you like him and he likes who you're pretending to be just keep going and live happily ever after.

 

[caitaintdead]

I agree with @Mr. Pole never be yourself.

Be someone else and if you like him and he likes who you're pretending to be just keep going and live happily ever after.

Perhaps I shall try a social experiment and put into practise my acting skills. Each date I can be a different person.

I'll go to one dressed in a power suit and be all stern and work focused.
Then for the next I'll go wearing a girly floral dress and be a girly-girl.
I can perfect a perfect bogan wearing a denim skirt, Aus flag shirt and thongs and talk about cars.

 

[thetopher]

Then you can pretend to be a spy. And then on another date night a cat burglar/jewel thief. That's what I always do anyway. 🙂

 

[Skanky Vamp]

@caitaintdead "Haha, yeah, subtly drop a fake gun and balaclava out of bag and say 'Oh this? Don't you worry...'"
That would be awesome!! 
Here's more inspiration if you need it why to not be yourself. Link. It's like lying on a resume. All the successful people do it.

 

[caitaintdead]

@caitaintdead "Haha, yeah, subtly drop a fake gun and balaclava out of bag and say 'Oh this? Don't you worry...'"
That would be awesome!! 
Here's more inspiration if you need it why to not be yourself. Link. It's like lying on a resume. All the successful people do it.

I love that a girl called 'Alissa' happened to think that Pia, Polly & Penny are 'silly'. Irony is not a strong enough word.

Honestly, I don't think I ever really lie or present myself differently on first dates. Annnnd. I'm single. Time to start up with the lying!

 

[Riderofapocalypse]

If an opinion of a member of the male species means anything, then maybe you'll look at what I'm saying.
- Unless your going clubbing or something outdoors or sports related, (so basically im talking bar/coffee or movies), Do your hair and make up all fancy and you can get his attention looking at your gorgeous hair and beautiful fatch. Unless your wearing a low cut top, he won't care what your wearing as long as he is thinking 'Damn I can stare at her face all day' (Granted he could be thinking about wanting to kiss you, but better than staring at those 'tig ol' bitties') . Also, wearing a normal pair of regular fit jeans and regular shirt/blouse while you got your hair and make-up done all pretty and such, kind of makes him have to make eye contact with you and stare and appreciate only the pretty-ness that is your face/head.

I tell you this as past experiences on dates, the woman in question always wore normal or non provocative clothes and did her make up and hair so well that I couldn't stop looking at her from the.....ok occasional glance at the boobs, but for the most part, the beautiful face and hair.

good luck

 

[Blaze]

Man, people still do dates nowadays? I think I got unlucky, every person I've "dated" didn't actually bother with the dating part. Not that I entirely mind, I'm more of a "let's watch Netlfix" or "let's go play in the mud with our quads" kind of person anyway.

But going out is always fun. Not a fan of being somebody that you're not though. I'd rather someone just take me to a casual coffee place where I can dress in my regular cloth than someone bring me to a fancy restaurant where I gotta act equally as fancy. It's just not very me.

 

[Skanky Vamp]

"let's go play in the mud with our quads" kind of person anyway.

Now if you can just borrow @caitaintdead gun then thats almost perfect!

 

[GentlyBenevolnt]

Ooh in the olden days, it's so long ago....
I'd try to mix a bit of glam with some comfort: a low cut top is easier to walk round in than sky scraper heels, layer things up so you can choose how much to reveal and when (like a pashmina covering your cleavage up till you arrive), and think about fabrics that are nice to touch - velvet and silk or satin work wonders (dump the polyester!)
To be honest, in most settings, he's not going to be looking at your whole outfit all evening, so it's worth being happy with your hair and makeup and not worrying too much about further down.
Because I get anxious, I used to bring a multitude of little things in my bag to stop me fretting too - makeup, blister plaster, small hair brush, blotting tissues for your nose etc
This tip I got given for public speaking, is handy for date nerves too, where you breathe really slowly for a minute and if you're anxious, it calms you down. Maybe something like that will help you enjoy it if you're nervous. Hope you have fun 🙂 xxx