First Love

[Chosen Enemy]

Okay, so this idea for a topic came from the fact that Angel was Buffy's first love. So that got me thinking on a few things.

Like, can and should a person love someone else after their first love; to marry and settle down with another person who isn't your first love?

Does first love mean you're not able to love another person as much as you loved your first love?

Do you still and will always love your first love even many years after?
Will this love always remain?

And what are the chances that you're not gonna fall in love with another person after your first love?

 

[This Year's Girl]

great topic, as usual. 🙂

I think first loves are special in many ways. I will never love someone the same way I loved my first boyfriend, but that goes for all of my relationships - they are all different. I think its difficult to measure love in how much you love someone because of that too, the people I've loved I've loved, I can't say that there's been a certain amount that I can later measure against each other.

I think it's very individual when it comes to setteling down, it depends on your relationship with your first love. But of course you can move on and find someone else! I'm really, really happy I didn't stay with my first love, we had a very destructive relationship. We loved each other, but I think we needed to evolve in other relationships to truly be happy. That's the danger with first loves sometimes I think - if none of you have been in a relationship before it can go downhill, 'cause none of you really know how to act or where to draw the line and stuff like that, because you've never done this before. But again, it depends on the people. 🙂

 

[Enemies]

I think your first love is extra special because it's the first time you've ever felt that passionate about someone else. I think you'll always have a fondness in your heart for your first love but you could never love them the same way again if it's ended badly. That's just my opinion.

I definitely think you can love another person just as much if not more but for different reasons. My boyfriend is my second love and I love him completely but for completely different reasons. I couldn't live without him so I believe that sometimes love can still be as strong the second third or fourth time around. I don't believe there's only one person for you in the world either. We were all made to love someone.

I can happily settle down with my boyfriend and plan to as well. I think I'll always have a thought for my first love but it would never hold me back.

 

[caritas08]

Are we talking about requited first love or unrequited first love? Because I imagine unrequited first love is probably a lot easier to get over and move on, but I can't say.

As for requited first love, I think that people aren't meant to have just one love or soulmate (maybe some people are) so I think that people should marry or whatever they want with future relationships without having the fear that they never got over their ex.

In Buffy/Angel's case I think it was more a problem of the writers not getting over their success and positive reception of the couple, than the characters not being able to move on.

 

[Cast No Shadow]

I've only ever had one boyfriend, and we've been together since I was 16, so I've never had a second love.

I feel like I'm lucky though, I don't think I'll ever be with anyone else, we were at school together and now we're at university together, so we've gone through all life's little hurdles and grown up together.

That's not to say that something might happen that will break us up, I can't predict the future, however I think that all love is different, and your first love doesn't always equal your best love.

Does that even make sense? Heh.

Also: [ame="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6A1xu0BSs2s&ob=av2e"]The Maccabees - First Love - YouTube[/ame]

 

[white avenger]

Can and should a person love someone else after their first love; to marry and settle down with another person who isn't your first love?

If no one ever loved, married, and settled down with anyone but their first love, there would be almost no one married and settled down.


Does first love mean you're not able to love another person as much as you loved your first love?

First love means that you have never loved anyone else before your current love. Absolutely nothing more


Do you still and will always love your first love even many years after?
Will this love always remain?

Almost always, unless it ends badly, yes, you will love, or at least having loving feelings and memories of that person for all of your life.


And what are the chances that you're not gonna fall in love with another person after your first love?

The chances of your first love being your only, or even your greatest, love are just one step short of nil. Never being able to love for a second, third, or even tenth, time would be a tragedy.

A person's first love serves one absolutely essential part in anyone's life. It provides a base, or a foundation, on which every subsequent love is built. Every relationship that you form after that first one will be, whether consciously or not, measured by and compared to, that first love. And almost always, some won't be as good, but some will be better. Hopefully, you will end up with the latter rather than the former.

 

[Joan the Vampire Slayer]

My only response to this is this; if I had married and settled down with my first love - my boyfriend in high school - I'd be miserable, as he was abusive, manipulative, and a cheater.

You can fall in love with many people over your lifetime.

 

[LoveLoveLovix]

Personally, I think it depends on many factors. How you love, what you believe, how things work out. My girlfriend and I work so well, I think, because we take love as we take a really intense friendship. There isn't as much of a distinction as I see some of my friends have, and that's important to me, and why I think Zo and I are more likely to get through stuff than some of my friends are. I can go to her with anything- there's absolutely nothing I wouldn't talk to her about. And then I see my friends talking about how they can't tell their boyfriends about this or that or something.

For some people, the way that she and I are in love wouldn't work. Some people have to have that great love romantic thing... I've dated people like that, and even though I've loved them, it wasn't really the kind of love that I could stick with. I'm young, and people don't seem to believe anything romantic can last because of that, but I know what sort of love fits me, and it's the friendship sort.

How this relates is that I think there are two kinds of first loves. There is the first time you ever love someone, and I think that's rare that it'll work, but very, very possible. And then, there's the first love that makes you see this whole other level to things and makes things click into place and makes you look back on your old "first love" and laugh because it wasn't as life changing as you thought. And maybe some people can have both loves at the same time. And maybe some people never get that second kind of love. And sometimes, if you get that second sort, people won't take it seriously.

I will always love my first (in the first definition) love, but not in the same way, and I think it's more that I love those memories- the person honestly annoys me more than anything else! But I couldn't marry her. Never.

I don't want to go into chances and percentages. Everyone is different. My aunt and uncle and my grandparents were both first love marriages who have stayed together. I think people are too cynical about how there's this little to no chance that you'll always be with the first person you love. It's not a huge chance, but it's very there. And a lot of the time, things can be prevented. I think that a lot of people don't want to put the work into working to stay together and just let things fall apart.

Well, that's my view.

 

[SlayerFest]

Yes yes yes a person can definitely marry someone who isn't their first love. Well, I sure as hell hope so, cause if not...I'm screwed. A person's first love is always special, slightly horrible, and...erm memorable. However, a lot of people would be divorced if they stuck to the "only marry your first love!" rule 😉

 

[November]

Aww all this is not making me very hopeful for my love life. I am my boyfriends first love, and he is my second (although it is nothing like the first so it may as well be my first love too). I will always have a special place in my heart for the first but there was no future for us, nor was there that desire to be *forever* like with this time round.

From my limited experience every love is different and special.

 

[Nix]

[MENTION=7738]OccaQuokka[/MENTION] From my limited experience every love is different and special.

This is so true in my opinion. Everyone is different so every relationship is different. We live, we grow, we change so our relationships so the same.

 

[hazzard]

i, too, agree that every love is different and people are perfectly capable of falling in love many times in a lifetime.
my first very intense love was my girlfriend i was with from ages 17 to 22 basically. we graduated high school together, went to college together; i grew and matured with her and she was and is an extremely important part of my life and my identity, for better or worse. things didn't end well or calmly--i know a part of me will never get over her, but i've come to terms with that. i don't think i want to ever devote myself so completely to another person again, but, that being said, i don't know how things will turn out in the future. i have a new partner right now, as of this summer, and although it doesn't even begin to compare (i don't think anything ever will), i try not to let that relationship hold me back.