Friendship after High School.

[Ms.Trick]

In the 4th season of Buffy, even tough they are still best friends, the Scoobies drift apart a bit. Buffy spends a lot of time with Riley, Willow spends a lot of time with Tara, Xander spends a lot of time with Anya.
They already had boyfriends and girlfriends in high school but back then, they were pretty much all the time all together.
At the time it seemed weird to me but now I kind of understand it. The Scoobies knew they would always have each other, but they spent less time together, Xander being Non-College guy, Buffy being Initiative girl and Willow being Witch almost maximus.

What happened with your friendships after High School? Do you find it easy to keep the same bound? Was it easy for you to 'move on' with your own lives? Do you still often see your high school friends? Are there people you really liked hanging around with in high school but don't see anymore and don't miss them even tough you'd be happy to see them, like say, in the street "Oh hey it's been a while" style?
Did you feel like the Scoobies, "We all continue our own lives, and we take different path but in the end of the day, our friendship will always be there?"

 

[Goldilocks]

I have not finished high school yet, but I doubt that I'm gonna keep in touch with the people here. We do talk, hang out in school.. But I do not consider them as my 'friends'.. we do not have much in common, apart from the fact that we're in the same class..

 

[Lyri]

I've pretty much lost contact with all the friends I had in high school, as well as those I had in college. I tend to live my life in stages, and, as I'm not in high school or college anymore, I've left those friends behind. It's not something I did intentionally, there was a lot of stuff that happened, bad stuff, especially with my college friends, that made me decide to move away from them, but it's not like I'm depressed about it, or friendless now.

I do have a lot of high school friends on my FaceBook, but we don't talk much, and I'm not going to go to my high school class's ten year reunion, because it's not like I'm aching to see anyone again.

I understand those people who've had the same friends since kindergarten, and that's great for them, and sometimes I wish I had that, but at the same time, I'm not upset that I don't.

 

[Zeppo]

I have this group of friends that started in daycare. It's a small bunch but they're my true Scooby's because we just all got together for Christmas again. 2 of us have moved away so it's only once or twice a year we can all get together but that bond has never, ever changed. I did venture off to hang with a new crowd during much of high school for my own reasons but I barely talk to any of them anymore. So I guess that's what's changed is I've gone back to my roots; the friends I'll have forever no matter what.

It was hard moving on to my own life but I knew if I factored in my friends there would be much I wouldn't accomplish. Those other people I hung around with were good for parties and were more active than my old friends but now that high school is over I really don't care about that anymore. They don't even know when I'm in town when I visit but my oldest friends in the world sure do.

Watch Dawson's Creek. It's my life. It was an angry revelation when I tried to create a teleplay myself based on my friends and realized DC did it all first. Haha. Good question!

 

[Angelic Slayer]

I finished High School a couple years ago now and like the Scoobies I've already managed to drift away from a lot of the people I spent time with when I was there. With a couple folks friendships had all but dissolved when we graduated already, but for the most part it's been a case of friends moving all over the place and neither of us having the time (or means!) to commute to see each other. That, and when I left high school I left so much drama behind that there were a lot of people I decided didn't need to be in my life anymore. I'll be friendly and pleasant if I see them walking down the street, but it's been nice to not have to deal with some of them on a regular basis anymore :silly:

No matter how far we drift though, I know that the people who really matter to me will always be there-- no matter how our lives might move along separately. I have a best friend that I've known for 12 years now, and we can go months and months without seeing each other and fall back right into routine as soon as we meet back up again. It's like no time passed at all, and always has been that way. 🙂


I think too falling "out of touch" with your peers just isn't as permanent as it used to be! Thanks to the invention of Facebook I have people from high school adding me every week and it really makes it difficult to be out of the loop! Even if I haven't actually talked to a friend in a while, I typically know what's happening with them because they've updated their Facebook page about it.

 

[Kean]

I finished secondary school about 5 years ago and I'd say I've lost contact with all but 4/5 of my friends.

There are a couple who, no matter how long we are apart, will always get back together and it will be like we never left but other than that I don't have contact with them (apart from being FB friends with them).

The thing was that it literally took only a few months for us to lose contact. The reason I find this interesting is that I graduated from college last August, my friends have all gone to various other parts of the world, and we still talk daily. When they come home we maintain our friendships.

It always strikes me as odd that that didn't happen with my secondary school friends.

 

[PrincessBuffy16]

I guess it's hard to stay in touch if you go away, in the different city or state to college. I don't think I'll stay good with my high school friends, I don't like them THAT much, we get along, but they're not my type..

 

[This Year's Girl]

High school doesn't really translate in to the swedish school system, we have "högstadiet" from ages 13 - 15 and the "gymnasiet" to age 16 - 18.

I have lost contact with almost all of the friends from högstadiet. We don't dislike each other, after högstadiet was over we went on to go different programs in gymnasiet, even in different cities sometimes, so we just lost touch. We also developed different interests and started hanging out with different groups of people. I still talk to some of them, and some of them I take a cup of coffe with maybe once or twice a year, but that's about as far as it goes, which is pretty much fine with all of us. 🙂 I do have one girl that I'm still friends with from högstadiet. In högstadiet we hung out in the same gang, but we weren't that close. In gymnasiet we started hanging out more, and she's now one of my best friends. This fall we celebrated 11 years together as friends. 🙂

I've lost contact with some of the people I was friends with in gymnasiet too. Same thing there, nothing bad happened, we just developed in different ways. The 3 people I was closest to is still my best friends though. We've lived apart from each other in different cities for several years, some of us still do (right now I live in the same city as two of them, but before this summer I lived like 20 miles away), but we always stayed in touched, visited each other, and actually grew closer over the years. I seriously couldn't imagine my life without them. I love them so much.

 

[zobothehobo]

I had two main friend groups which had a central triangle. One was made up of Kyle, Livia, and me. The other was Rachel, Alisha, and me. In high school, I was closer to Kyle and Livia. Rachel and Alisha were still my best friends, but Kyle and Liv way more. Last year, Kyle became an ass and Liv became really superficial to me. With the discovery of the beauty of sci-fi and fantasy I became A LOT closer to Rachel and Alisha. Now, Kyle and Liv are my "former" friends and Rachel and Alisha are my best friends. I don't really mind my falling out with Kyle and Liv. I'm kind of amazed I was friends with them for so long. I told them everything. I trusted them. They've proven to me over the past year that they are not to be trusted and they never actually cared about me.

 

[msfantastico87]

Well, for me it was difficult. I moved schools so many times it was ridiculous. Ever since Elementary school, I had only one best friend. I was 5 yrs old when I met her and we have been friend ever since. She is like my sister. I have been able to find some of my high school friends via Facebook and once in a while we talk and what not. But it's not like the same bond we used to have. It's not such a bad thing in the end for me. There are certain "friends" I had that were a totally bad influence on me and caused me to have my "Faith phase". So glad I don't have that kind of relationship with them anymore. Every new chapter of your life, you have to clean out your friends list. Life after high school is one of those chapters 😉

 

[Abbeycat]

I didn't have that many friends to begin with. At some point in my sophomore year, I made some friends who liked Anime and Buffy. I hung out with them a little bit but after they graduated, we didn't keep in touch or anything.

In high school, I had acquaintances. I was tired of trying make friends and trying make plans with people who always told me they were busy. Blew me off everytime I made the effort.

 

[BuffyElevated]

I have a small group of girl friends that I've been friends with since junior high that are all still very close. My friend Melissa has been one of my very best friends now for almost 20 years. 🙂
My graduating class was VERY small, so a lot of us keep in contact on Facebook but I wouldn't say I've stayed in contact with everyone very well. I have a couple of people from high school that were my "best friend" in high school that I hardly ever speak to now, even though I've tried.
The sad, hard truth is that people change after high school and sometimes that means drifting apart from people you thought would always be there for you. My parents tried to tell me this in high school and I didn't listen, but now I wish I would have because I invested a lot of time into some "friendships" that weren't as solid as I thought they were and I'm sorry for it now.

 

[Ms.Trick]

Every new chapter of your life, you have to clean out your friends list. Life after high school is one of those chapters 😉

I'm with you on that one! Tough I don't really have to clean it, more to start it from the beginning. I always had to start over. In kindergarden, I was with people who knew each other since nursery (which is very young actually, so you can't really talk about 'knowing each other' 😛). Then after kindergarden, I went to primary school where I didn't know anyone while most people were together in kindergarden. Then after primary school, I went to high school (yeah, not the same system in Belgium) and then again, I was going to a school while most people were going in another school.
Then after High School, everybody went to the university while I went to...I don't know how you call that...It's the same academic level as university but it's more a school because it's smaller and specialized in one thing. I could have followed the flow and go to the university but I chose a different path, which was better for my studies but sadder for my relationships. Every time, I had to adjust, to make new friends because I was always going were the others were'nt, to places I didn't know anyone!

 

[fly on the wall]

After high school, I moved 500 miles away from Massachusetts to Pennsylvania. Nearly all of my high school friends stayed in Massachusetts, and none of them were within six or seven hours of me. We drifted a LOT, it was bound to happen.

We've still kept in touch, though. I've visited there several times, and a couple of them have come to see me here. Recently, we've gotten better at keeping in touch. I talk to my one friend semi-regularly now and I got a friendship tattoo with my other friend.

I do feel that these people will always be my friends even if we don't talk often. I mean, if I were to run into them years from now, I'd be glad about it. They helped shape who I am and although I feel that drifting apart is inevitable, I know that we'll always care about each other and mean something.

 

[sisterofmercy]

I have a group of friends that I've known for years now and we've managed to stay friends since secondary school 3 years ago. A couple of us go to uni in different parts of the country but when we come back we always meet up and it's like we'd never been away. I do have a couple of other friends that I'd only known since college and as soon as we went to uni that was it. We completely grew apart and my best friend completely forgot I existed.

I think growing up is a definite test to see who your real friends are.

 

[Marisa]

I talk to some people but for the most part I don't think we will be friends in years to come. We are different I have my interests they have theirs. Plus I don't feel like I can tell my friends anything very personal so yeah I don't see us being friends in the future.
^^ I agree with that last line as well. You learn who your true friends are. I learned that just because you have fun with some people does not make them your true friends you have to look at more than just that. That was my confusion at some times in the past.

 

[Deus Ex Machina]

No, I don't. Massive falling out about ...mm..I wanna say...3 years after high school ended. I left on my own accord because I knew they didn't care about me (plus other stuff).

Since college I made one friend, trying to make more..but I talked about that in the old vent thread.

 

[xfivebyfive]

I had 4 really good friends throughout High school. One was friends only with me. The other three we were all best friends kind of like the scoobies. We did everything together were always hanging out. We had our silly teenage drama but were good friends. Even when others joined and left our group the four of us always ended up just sticking together.

One of them had been my best friend since 6th grade and we were so close. At the end of 11th grade she stopped speaking to me. I didn't know what I had done or why she wouldn't speak to me. One of my other friends followed her and stopped speaking to me as well. Part of me believes it was because they started drinking heavily and I wouldn't drink.

Throughout all of senior year neither of them would speak to me. It was like the past three or in her case 6 years of friendship hadn't happened. Which made Senior year suck completely. I hate her now even though we talked and supposedly cleared things up, I still hate her. We talked maybe twice since graduating. But sadly I still can't help but care about her when I hear what a mess she's made with her life now.

Anyway my other friend from that group my bestie! She stuck with me though. She didn't leave me like them. And we are still friends two and half years after graduating. We don't talk nearly as much as we used to or see each other enough. But we're both terrible at keeping touch. It's harder when you don't see each other everyday. It was hard enough in school cause she rarely showed up lol.

My best guy friend and I are still good friends. Talk all the time online as much as we used to anyway lol just don't see him as often cause not in school with him.

So It's possible to keep friendships from high school. But if you even keep your friends all four years that's a blessing, and then people drift apart once you're not face to face everyday. Its a test of true friendship if you can keep it up past High school.

 

[brinkster130]

There are only three people that I went to high school with that I am still friends with. One of them I have known since I was five years old and the other two I knew in high school but were never really good friends with while we were there. I think its natural to grow apart from friends, especially during times of big change (like the transition from HS to college).

It is definitely possible to keep in touch and maintain friendships post high school, but I think it takes work and that more often than not those friendships change.

 

[Marisa]

I had 4 really good friends throughout High school. One was friends only with me. The other three we were all best friends kind of like the scoobies. We did everything together were always hanging out. We had our silly teenage drama but were good friends. Even when others joined and left our group the four of us always ended up just sticking together.

One of them had been my best friend since 6th grade and we were so close. At the end of 11th grade she stopped speaking to me. I didn't know what I had done or why she wouldn't speak to me. One of my other friends followed her and stopped speaking to me as well. Part of me believes it was because they started drinking heavily and I wouldn't drink.

Throughout all of senior year neither of them would speak to me. It was like the past three or in her case 6 years of friendship hadn't happened. Which made Senior year suck completely. I hate her now even though we talked and supposedly cleared things up, I still hate her. We talked maybe twice since graduating. But sadly I still can't help but care about her when I hear what a mess she's made with her life now.

Anyway my other friend from that group my bestie! She stuck with me though. She didn't leave me like them. And we are still friends two and half years after graduating. We don't talk nearly as much as we used to or see each other enough. But we're both terrible at keeping touch. It's harder when you don't see each other everyday. It was hard enough in school cause she rarely showed up lol.

My best guy friend and I are still good friends. Talk all the time online as much as we used to anyway lol just don't see him as often cause not in school with him.

So It's possible to keep friendships from high school. But if you even keep your friends all four years that's a blessing, and then people drift apart once you're not face to face everyday. Its a test of true friendship if you can keep it up past High school.

I had a similar thing I stopped talking we just drifted with one of my best friends since childhood.
Then I was really close with my one friend we were always together then she started hanging with other people and got into serious drugs. At the time it seemed like a good thing to stay away since she would not listen or want to hear it but then she died and now even though I thought it was right to stop talking because I didn't want to be in those situations I regret that. It sucks when things like alcohol and drugs come between friendships and bring such horrible things.