Perhaps this list can be of some assistance to you. :teeth: :teeth:
Things to Do on a Long Airplane Ride
1. Fart loudly and act shocked, looking around to see who did it.
2. Fiddle around with the emergency exit, then ask a fellow passenger if he has a crowbar.
3. Hijack the cockpit and, over the loudspeaker, anounce that the first class passengers and luggage are to switch places.
4. Run down the aisle screaming, "The pilot's drunk! The pilot's drunk!!"
5. Go into the bathroom and make rude bodily noises, then come out looking refreshed.
6. In your best William Shatner voice, proclaim to the person sitting next to you, "There's....something on the wing!"
7. Go up to someone and ask loudly if they wouldn't mind applying *Preparation H* to your hemorrhoids.
8. Tap at the windows, saying "Looks pretty tough" then ask somone if they have a bat you could use to test it.
9. Disco dance in the aisle.
10. Mess up your hair, untuck your shirt, basically look crude, and mingle with a first class guy as if you were long-lost friends.
11. Go into the bathroom, drop your pants, then come out, yelling "We're out of toilet paper! Stewardess!"
12. Describe your sex life in great detail to the really old person next to you.
13. Try to lead the passengers in song, "Oh I wish I was an Oscar Myer Weiner!"
14. Lead a revolt against the first class passengers.
15. Start a hot dog stand.
16. Steal businessman's laptop, play solitaire on it.
17. During the inflight movie, ask to share headphones with someone.
18. When two people kiss in the film, belch real loud.
19. When there's any nudity, say "Hey! He/she must be real cold!"
20. Tell the person next to you your life story, from DNA to that afternoon.
21. With the person next to you, discuss cannabilism among airline crash passengers on deserted islands.
22. Remark that perhaps you shouldn't have put superglue in your undies that morning.
23. Pick your nose and pat the person next to you.
24. Show off your Batman underwear.
25. Ask the guy next to you to hold your dentures (senior citizens only).
26. Switch accents and see if anyone notices.
27. During the meal, loudly explain that one time you ate shark fin soup
and proceeded to puke all over the airplane, spewing chunks of shark on the other passengers.
28. Sneak into the cockpit and hit the warning alarm.
29. Explain how, one time, the plane was crashing and the oxygen masks didn't come out, 'cause they aren't really reliable, and that if the plane was to crash, everyone would die.
30. Put on a ten foot diameter sombrero and slouch in your seat, whacking everyone on the head.
31. Go into the cockpit, flick on the intercom light, then loudly inquire as to why the fuel dial says "e".
32. Go into the cockpit, ask the pilot in an obnoxious voice "Why do the call it the cockpit?" then snort as if it's the funniest thing in the world.
33. Don't use deoderant, then "accidently" stick your armpit in someone's face.
34. Sneeze, using somebody's sleeve instead of your hand to cover it.
35. Tell corny jokes and laugh like it's absolutely hilarious, then expect others to do the same.
36. Loudly sing a really irritating song.
37. Hum the Monty Python theme song.
38. Act like a movie star.
39. Scream and dive under your seat for no apparent reason.
40. Ride carry-on luggage down the aisle, yelling "Yeee-ha!"
41. With a desperate look, ask the stewardess where the bathroom is, then look relieved and say "Nevermind. Do you have any towels?"
42. Jump up and scream "AAAHHH!! I left the stove on!!"
43. Ask someone for their autograph, pretending that you think they're Kevin Costner or Goldie Hawn (This best when the person looks nothing like the movie star in question).
44. Start talking Korean.
45. If someone has a bad toupee, whack it off.
46. Pretend you're flying the plane.
47. With a fellow passenger, Re-enact the disco scene in "Airplane!"
48. Wear a hairpiece and switch it often, seeing if anyone notices.
49. To the person next to you, say "It's amazing that they didn't notice the grenade in my luggage".
😛😛
