Funny lines!

i love that anya quote!! it always makes me laugh!!

i also love the anya line from...funnily enough...Tabula Rasa

"oh, bugger off, you brolly"

it makes more sense if you actually know what a brolly is!!
 
Dia DeLa Muerte said:
Angel: "Rachel, are you alright?"
Rachel: "I..is he...?"
Angel: "It's okay, he's not getting up for awhile."
Rachel: "I can't believe he actually showed up."
Angel: "Well, that was the deal, right?"

Spike: "How can I thank you, you mysterious black-clad hunk of a
night thing?"
"No need, little lady.Your tears of gratitude are enough for me.
You see, I was once a bad-ass vampire, but love and a pesky
curse de-fanged me, and now I'm just a biiiig fluffy puppy with
bad teeth."
- no, not the hair, never the hair!
"Well, there must be some way I can show my appreciation?"
"Nope, helpin those in need's my job, and working up a load of
sexual tension and prancing away like a magnificent poof is truly
thanks enough."
"I understand, I have a nephew who's gay, so-"
"Say no more, evil's still afoot, and I'm almost out of that nancy-
boy hairgel I like so much. Quickly! To the Angel-mobile!
Away!"


Spike at his Evil Sarcy best....lol
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funniest thing on tv that year.
 
Hey I have a question does anyone remember a really funny line where Anya calls someone a penis? I think I remember a line like that and I laughed my head off, but I cant find it!
 
it's from the ep 'beneath you' when anya's in the bronze trying to get a girl to make a wish on her boyfriend, but the guys (buffy, spike, xander, and nancy) walk in to ask if she'd turned nancy's boyfriend into a giant worm.
when anya sees them coming, she grumbles, "oh, penis."
at least i think this is it...let me know, BEG, if this isn't the ep your looking for!
 
ANYA
See, honey, what I'm driving us towards here is sometimes, don't you just wish that"” Oh, penis!

Sees that Xander has walked in with Nancy, Buffy, and Spike in tow.

XANDER
(to Nancy) Is this the one you talked to?

Nancy nods.

Thank you, thank you, thank you. I have been looking for this for ages, It was so funny the way she said it. I went through so many eps looking for it, I completely blanked on this one 🙂 thank you!
 
you're very welcome!!
i love this line! it makes me giggle every time i think about it!!
 
I love this whole exchange between Buffy and Oz from Living Conditions. Some of Oz's lines are absolute gold.

Oz is walking with Buffy along a path.
Buffy: ...so then Kathy's like, 'It's share time.' And I'm like, 'Oh yeah? Share this!' (She punches at the air.)
Oz: So, either you hit her, or you did your wacky mime routine for her.
Buffy: Well, I didn't do either, actually. But she deserves it, don't you think?
Oz: Nobody deserves mime, Buffy.
Buffy: Hmm, Kathy does. She deserves to be locked in an invisible box and blown away by an imaginary wind and... and...
Oz: Forced to wear a binding unitard?
Buffy: Yeah, the itchy kind, it's perfect.
Oz: Just here to help.
Buffy: Which I appreciate. But you've never come on routine patrol with me before, Oz. So, what's the deal?
Oz: Seemed more interesting than homework.
Buffy: As long as it's an elective. I can handle myself alone, you know.
Oz: Not in question.
Buffy: Good. So then, I go into the refrigerator--right?--and the label queen has managed to put...
Oz: Just a, just a thought, Buffy, but do you think all this ranting is scaring away potential demons? (They stop.)
Buffy: You're right. Ooh! She's even affecting my work, now. She's the Titanic. She's a crawling black cancer. (She brings her foot up, around and down onto a bench, breaking it in two.) She's... other really bad things.
Oz: On the plus side you've killed the bench, which was looking shifty
 
Tucker's Cousin said:
I love this whole exchange between Buffy and Oz from Living Conditions. Some of Oz's lines are absolute gold.

Oz is walking with Buffy along a path.
Buffy: ...so then Kathy's like, 'It's share time.' And I'm like, 'Oh yeah? Share this!' (She punches at the air.)
Oz: So, either you hit her, or you did your wacky mime routine for her.
Buffy: Well, I didn't do either, actually. But she deserves it, don't you think?
Oz: Nobody deserves mime, Buffy.
Buffy: Hmm, Kathy does. She deserves to be locked in an invisible box and blown away by an imaginary wind and... and...
Oz: Forced to wear a binding unitard?
Buffy: Yeah, the itchy kind, it's perfect.
Oz: Just here to help.
Buffy: Which I appreciate. But you've never come on routine patrol with me before, Oz. So, what's the deal?
Oz: Seemed more interesting than homework.
Buffy: As long as it's an elective. I can handle myself alone, you know.
Oz: Not in question.
Buffy: Good. So then, I go into the refrigerator--right?--and the label queen has managed to put...
Oz: Just a, just a thought, Buffy, but do you think all this ranting is scaring away potential demons? (They stop.)
Buffy: You're right. Ooh! She's even affecting my work, now. She's the Titanic. She's a crawling black cancer. (She brings her foot up, around and down onto a bench, breaking it in two.) She's... other really bad things.
Oz: On the plus side you've killed the bench, which was looking shifty
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Oz was just funny whenever he said something! His delivery was absolutely perfect. Another of my favorite Oz lines, from Angel....when he comes to LA to give Angel the Gem of Amarra....."Sometimes we're laconic." LMAO!
 
I was watching Ground State and this line made me laugh.

ELLIOT: I thought I said 'discreet'.

GWEN: What? Do you see a nipple?
 
I am loving this thread, its remindind me of some of the best lines, like the one above, lol
 
Here's another favorite of mine.


CORDELIA: Go ahead. Say it.You ran like a woman.

XANDER: Hey, if you saw this thing,you'd run like a woman, too.

(Later)

XANDER: What about me?What can I do?

CORDELIA: Well,you can go out to the parking lot and practice running like a man.

I just love this.Cracks me up every time.
 
One line that I always thought was funny from "Not Fade Away".

Angel (getting beat down by Hamilton) "People who don't care about anything, will never understand the people who do"

Hamilton (tossing Angel aside) "Yeah but we won't care"

I know this isn't a hilarious line or anything, but I always laugh at it.
 
ok, i got one that's not even a line, but i think it's as funny as hell!! it always makes me crack up.

NANCY: So, is there anyone here who hasn't slept together?

XANDER and SPIKE exchange a nervous look.
Beneath You

OMG!! this is SO funny!!
 
M
Mulder22
that is was hilarious!!!
WATCHER 2: I, uh, I ... don't want a sword thrown at me, but, but, civilians, I - we're talking about children.

BUFFY: (looks up at her friends on the balcony) We're talking about two very powerful witches and a thousand-year-old ex-demon.

ANYA: Willow's a demon?!
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SPIKE: It's that guy... on TV ... what's his name?

GLORY: (frowns) On the television?

SPIKE: That show ... the prize show ... where they guess what stuff cost?

MURK: The Price Is Right?

JINX: Oh, Bob Barker!

MURK: We will bring you Bob Barker! We will bring you the limp and beaten body of Bob Bark-

GLORY: (jumps up) It is not Bob Barker, scabby morons! The key is new to this world ... (turns back to face Spike) and Bob Barker is as old as grit. (smiles) The vampire ... is lying to me.

SPIKE: (giggles weakly) Yeah ... but it was fun. And guess what, bitch. (Shot of his hands still trying to twist free) I'm not telling you jack. You're never gonna get your sodding key, 'cause you might be strong, but in our world, you're an idiot.

GLORY: I am a god.

SPIKE: The god of what, bad home perms?

GLORY: Shut up! (takes a few steps toward him, pats her hair) I command you, shut up!

SPIKE: Yeah, okay, sorry, but I just had no idea that gods were such prancing lightweights. (Glory scoffs in disbelief) Mark my words, the Slayer ... is going to kick your skanky, lopsided ass (Glory checks out her ass in dismay) back to whatever place would take a (sizing her up) cheap, whorish, fashion victim ex-god like you.
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ILLYRIA: All I am is what I am. I lived 7 lives at once. I was power and the ecstasy of death. I was god to a god. (looks down) Now... I'm trapped... on a roof. Just one roof... in this time and this place, with an unstable human who drinks too much whiskey and called me a Smurf.
Click to expand...

BUFFY: Hi. (awkwardly) How've you been?

AMY: Rat. You?

BUFFY: Dead.

AMY: Oh.
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XANDER: Amy, is she ... how is she adjusting?

WILLOW: It's hard to say. It's a lot to take in. I keep expecting her to do, like, ratty stuff, you know, licking her hands clean, shredding newspaper, leaving little pellets in the corner.

BUFFY: Let's definitely not leave her alone in the house too long.
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A lot, I know. Anyways, those are some of my favorites. 🙂
 
Aww, come on people lets keeps it going.

Buffy: Are you mad at me?
Riley: No, no, not at all. I'm plotting your death, but in a happy way.

[The gang discusses how best to dispose of evil dead guys, perhaps by burning them.]
Willow: I brought marshmallows!
[The others look at her oddly.]
Willow: Occasionally, I'm callous and strange.

[Doeppelgangland: Willow is confused that her friends are desperately glad to see she's okay.]
Willow: It's really nice that you guys missed me. Say, you all didn't happen to do a bunch of drugs, did ya?

[Willow advises Riley about catching Buffy's eye.]
Willow: Then talk. Keep eye contact. Funny is good, but don't be glib. And remember, if you hurt her, I will beat you to death with a shovel. A vague disclaimer is nobody's friend. Have fun.

[The Scoobie gang considers Buffy's plan to stop Mayor Richard Wilkins III's Ascension.]
Cordelia: I personally don't think it's possible to come up with a crazier plan.
Oz: We attack the Mayor with hummus.
Cordelia: I stand corrected.
Oz: Just trying to keep things in perspective.
[The gang discusses the Mayor's possible weaknesses.]
Angel: Well, he's not crazy about germs.
Cordelia: Of course. That's it! We'll attack him with germs!
Buffy: Great! We'll get him cornered, and then you can sneeze on him.
Cordelia: No! No. We'll get a container of Ebola virus, and… and, um… or — it doesn't even have to be real. We could just get a box that says "Ebola" on it, and, um… [snaps her fingers] chase him.
[Dead silence from the rest of the crowd.]
Cordelia: With the box.
Xander: I'm starting to lean towards the hummus offensive.
Oz: He'll never see it coming.

Willow: I wish Buffy was here.
Buffy: I'm here.
Willow: I wish I had a million dollars. [pause] Just checking

Angel: A lot of things that seem strong and good and powerful, they can be painful.
Buffy: Like say, immortality?
Angel: Exactly, I'm dying to get rid of that.
Buffy: Funny.
Angel: I'm a funny guy.

Willow: We can come by between classes. Usually I use that time to copy over my class notes with a system of different colored pens, but it's been pointed out to me that that's, you know, insane.
Anya: Money. Did you hurt the money? [Opens the cash register and coughs as more smoke comes out] Money good? [takes out some money and shakes it at Xander] She endangered the money! [Xander shrugs]
Willow: Of course, that's what she cares about. [imitates Anya] "I like money better than people. People can so rarely be exchanged for goods and/or services."

Buffy: If you knew what I've done, what I've let myself become. My best friends don't even?You'd laugh, you heard some of the things I've done to them.
Holden Webster: Buffy, I'm here to kill you, not to judge you.

I could just go on and on... but I wont.
 
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