Funny lines!

So often it's in the delivery, isn't it? You look at the lines on the page and you think it really doesn't seem that funny and you hope other people remember how the character delivered the line, the character's personality etc.
 
That's so true. Like, for instance, Angel's "I'm a funny guy" quote. He's normally so taciturn and broody, it's hilarious to hear him say he's funny. You don't think of him that way.
 
Here are a few more.

CORDELIA: Either you like them and they don’t like you. Or you can’t stand them which just guarantees that the're gonna hover around and never go away.

DOYLE: Uh, yeah, I hate guys like that. I’ll just check on...
-I Fall to Pieces


DOYLE: I don't know what we need evil for when we got you right here.

CORDELIA: I heard that!
-Hero


XANDER: (inside) Guys! Guys, wake up.

ANYA: Oh, Xander, I was scared, are you hurt? What happened?

XANDER: Guys ... demony kinds of guys. Buffy.

BUFFYBOT: Yes, that's me.

XANDER: The guys that work for Glory, you said they're kind of like hobbits with leprosy? Well this was a whole flock of hobbits, and they just grabbed Spike. I think they're taking him to Glory.

WILLOW: But he, he knows about Dawn.

(Xander nods)

BUFFYBOT: We have to get him back.

XANDER: So how do we find him?

(Everyone looks at the bot. She looks uncertain. )

BUFFYBOT: I fight with weapons.
-Intervention


ANYA: We're just kinda thrown by the you-having-sex-with-Spike.

BUFFY: The who whatting how with huh?

ANYA: Okay, that's denial. That usually comes before Anger.

BUFFY: I am not having sex with Spike!

ANYA: Anger.

XANDER: No one is judging you. It's understandable. Spike is strong & mysterious & sorta compact but well muscled.

BUFFY: I am *not* having sex with Spike! But I'm starting to think that *you* might be!

XANDER: Buffy, I saw you, Anya too. We saw you and Spike, with the straddling...

BUFFYBOT: Spike's mine! Who's straddling Spike?

BUFFY: Oh my god.

XANDER: And so say all of us.

BUFFYBOT: Say, look at you! You look just like me! We're very pretty.
-Intervention
 
Another one that has to be herd to be funny is in Doppelganger when Willow says "I'm not a vampire", its not funny when written but the way she says it cracks me up every time!
 
there's another line in doppleganger, where everyone's with the hugging of willow and then she says 'say, you guys didn't happen to do a buncha drugs, did ya?' that cracks me up!!

and also, when angel comes in and tells the guys that willow's dead, then sees her in the corner 'hey willow' the double take is SO funny!!
 
That entire scene is possibly one of my faves....just the way that Buffy and Xander hug her and she finnaly breaks free...looks to Giles for an adult responce and bam...he runs at her too.
But this line cracks me up

Giles: She was truly the finest of all of us.
Xander: Way better than me.
Giles: Much, much better.

infact lets face it...the whole frickin episode is hilarious....like when Willow as Vamp Willow walks in the Bronze and gives the wave to Oz...or the possible Willow Oz shenanigans...

Willow: Oh, right. Me and Oz play 'Mistress of Pain' every night.
Xander: Did anyone else just go to a scary visual place?
Buffy: Oh, yeah.

Pure Hilarity
 
All from The Yoko Factor:

ADAM: You feel smothered. Trapped like an animal. Pure in its ferocity, unable to actualize the urges within. Clinging to one truth. Like a flame struggling to burn within an enclosed glass. That a beast this powerful cannot be contained. Inevitably it will break free and savage the land again. I will make you whole again. Make you savage.
Moved, Spike has to blink back tears.
SPIKE: (awed) Wow. (composes himself) I mean, *yeah*. I get why the demons all fall in line with you. (sits up) You're like Tony Robbins. If he was a big scary . . Frankenstein looking-- (reconsiders) You're exactly like Tony Robbins.

SPIKE: (sighs) You're not exactly the whiz these days either. God, I'm never gonna get paid.
Effected by the offhanded remark, Willow shifts uncomfortably in her chair.
WILLOW: I am a whiz.
TARA: She is a whiz.
WILLOW: If ever a whiz there was.

WILLOW: And besides, when is there any "us two?" You two are the two who are the two. I'm the other one.

XANDER: No! It was bad before that! (he steps out in between them again) Since you two went off to college and forgot about me! Just left me in the basement to-- (turns on Willow in shock) Tara's your girlfriend?
GILES: (from upstairs) Bloody hellll! (the way he says this cracks me up everytime)
 
Come on people, let's keeps this wacky ball rolling!

COLONEL MCNAMARA: Shut up. You've got some nerve, lady. (unzips the bag) You think you and your friends can just keep waltzing into a government installation brandishing weapons like-- (He holds up the device.)
COLONEL MCNAMARA: Like--
WILLOW: It's a gourd.
GILES: Magic gourd.
COLONEL MCNAMARA: What kind of FREAKS are you people? (puts the gourd down)
The whole gourd bit starts me giggling then when McNamara says freaks I burst into hysterical laughter.

THE MASTER: "And one of the brethren shall go out hunting the night before and get himself killed, because he couldn't wait to finish his job before he ate. Oh, wait... that's not written anywhere."

WILLOW: "Okay, your name is Cordelia, you're not a cat, you're in high school, and we're your friends. Well, sort of."
CORDELIA: "That's nice, Willow. And you went mental when?"

BUFFY: What are you doing here? Five words or less.
(Spike counts the words on his fingers.)
SPIKE:Out... for... a... walk... bitch.
...
SPIKE: Oh, yeah, okay. Let me guess — you won't kill me? Ooh! The whole crowd-pleasing threats and swagger routine. Outstandingly original. You know, I'm just passing through. Satisfied? You know, I really hope so, because God knows you need some satisfaction in life besides shagging Captain Cardboard! And I never really liked you anyway. And you have stupid hair!
 
E
Edmund Blackadder
Out....for...a....walk.......Bitch - possibly my fave spike line ever
Both of these are from 'When she was Bad':

Buffy:
"Cordelia, your mouth is open and sound is coming from it. This
is never good."


Buffy (To Cordelia): "
Well, that works out great. You won't tell anyone that I'm the Slayer, and I won't tell anyone you're a moron."
 
From When She Was Bad.

Cordelia: So did you guys fight any demons this summer?

Willow: Yes our own personal demons.

Xander: Such as lust and thrift.

Cordelia: What are you guys talking about?I'm talking about big sqiggly demons that came from the ground.Remember prom night?!With all the vampires!

When Cordy says the squiggly demons line it cracks me up because she's so loud not caring who hears her.
 
From Halloween

Buffy: You know, there's this place you can go, right, and you sit in
the dark, and there are these moving pictures, right, and the pictures
tell a story.

Giles: Yes, yes, ha, ha, very droll.
 
Summers Blood said:
From Halloween

Buffy: You know, there's this place you can go, right, and you sit in
the dark, and there are these moving pictures, right, and the pictures
tell a story.

Giles: Yes, yes, ha, ha, very droll.
Click to expand...


I love that whole scene between Buffy/Giles. Especially when Buffy yells "Look at me when I'm talking to you!"
 
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