Gay Andrew

And also if you look at celebrities or famous figures "coming out," a lot of time that has been for the good, because many people say Ellen "coming out," is what propelled gay visibility on television and had it not been for here there may not have been a Will & Grace, the Xena situation with Gabriel, the network might not have allowed Willow to be gay, etc. If everyone were to just stay in the closet being gay might still be illegal.
 
Who said anything about staying in the closet.

As far as I'm concerned there should be no closet to come out of. It's kinda stupid that people just assume everyone is straight unless told otherwise. If people ask, then answer, like everyone else does/should. I'm not saying GAY PEOPLE MARK MY WORDS, DO NOT COME OUT! I'm saying there shouldn't be anything that needs to come out.

You are gay, so be gay.
but as EB has said, it's not really that way.
 
Yeah that's how it SHOULD BE but the reality of the situation is things are not that way and might not be that way for many years down the road
 
Exactly. The one way to start it is not "coming out" and just being you. It's not hiding that your gay it's just doing how you feel. When people come out I feel like they are being ashamed like they have to defend it and admit to it -- when thats not the case at all.
 
Harm's Way said:
Exactly. The one way to start it is not "coming out" and just being you. It's not hiding that your gay it's just doing how you feel. When people come out I feel like they are being ashamed like they have to defend it and admit to it -- when thats not the case at all.
Click to expand...

i agree with you, and have tried to live my life according to that fact, that there should be no closet to come out of in the first place. i never officially "came out," but my parents and the people who are closest to me know i'm gay without me "coming out." i wish the world made it easier for people and didn't sometimes require "coming out" as a necessary thing.
 
H
Harm
W00T! And view, example A... :D
Harm's Way agrees: W00T! And view, example A... 😀
Click to expand...
Thats the dream not the reality.
Hazzard, kudos to you and your family but no situation is the same.

I used to work in counselling for a LGBT 14-26 year olds group and let me tell you, coming out IS a big deal, still.
I remember one kid, must have been 15, I'd been working with for a year nearly.
He was gay. No one but myself, a few colleagues and one of his friends knew he was gay.
We helped him come to terms with his sexuality and one day he was ready to tell his parents - something we never suggest as counsel, we simply talk to them and when they are ready, they tell us.
Well he told his family in the way most people tell theirs(contrary to popular myth, its not some big party, just one loved one and another sat down discussing it), and they went ballistic.
I still remember the phonecall from him now asking me to find him somewhere to live for a few days.

Any counsellor that deals with the coming out process will have at least one, very probably more, stories that are similar.

The problem is, these are the reasons alot of the gay community shy away from just being honest about their orientation.

Can you imagine what it would feel like to be rejected by the ones you love because of something that is part of you?

This is why 'coming out' is important because its the moment when a person is willing to be strong and say to those they love that they are this person and they hope they can be accepted for it.

The thing is, we'll never, as a society, be abe to do that because the human race will always have the fear of rejection.
 
I understand, but if anyone ever wants it to happen, the only thing that will help is acting like it has.
 
How come? Why is everybody so worried about how other people feel about them?
 
Harm's Way said:
How come? Why is everybody so worried about how other people feel about them?
Click to expand...
Because we are social creatures. We need the respect, love and understanding of others.
We have evolved to need people around us so thelast thing we want is those people to not want to be with is, to reject us.
How would you feel is the person you loved dearly in the world hated you for something about you that you had no control over?
You would be devastated.
Sadly we do have people that behave in such a way when people 'come out' thats why alot of people have the issue.
Even the smallest chance of losing everyone you hold dear is enough to warrant a fear telling the loved ones who you are.
You're obviously trying to ask the questions you think we should be asking, the questions that 'would make the world a better place' but actually these ones will never be answered and you're showing complete ignorance and naivity by asking them.
 
Edmund Blackadder said:
Because we are social creatures. We need the respect, love and understanding of others.
Click to expand...

Not only that, but people's perceptions of us change how they treat us, which changes how other people perceive us . . . in a chain reaction that can make your life very difficult if nobody likes you.

It shouldn't matter what other people think of you. Unfortunately, it does. That's what we get for being social animals.
 
E
Edmund Blackadder
I'm that guy it takes ages to love but once you do, you never let go!!!
Sweetescape
Sweetescape
I love your sig!!! :D
I agree, and I don't know what it's like because I'm not gay and haven't had to come out about anything to anyone.
But someone I have loved dearly has hated me for something that I have no control over, and yes I agree, at first, I was a mess but you can't let other people control you and I didn't.

The world sucks, I know that and you know that, it's always going to suck. It's like one big sucking thing 😛
But anyway this is about Andrew, hahaha.
 
Harm's Way said:
I agree, and I don't know what it's like because I'm not gay and haven't had to come out about anything to anyone.
But someone I have loved dearly has hated me for something that I have no control over, and yes I agree, at first, I was a mess but you can't let other people control you and I didn't.

The world sucks, I know that and you know that, it's always going to suck. It's like one big sucking thing 😛
But anyway this is about Andrew, hahaha.
Click to expand...

Its not a matter of getting over it, nor about others controlling you.
If someone you dearly love cannot come to terms with something that is part of your identity, then you potentially lose them and no one wants to lose someone they love - if that love should be unconditional.

And I absolutely hate it when people say the world sucks or is a bad place and yadda yadda, because it doesn't.
The world is an awesome place, filled with wonder, love and kindness.
Yes there are bad things in the world but that doesn't mean the world is a bad place. Its how you view it.
 
Its not a matter of getting over it, nor about others controlling you.
If someone you dearly love cannot come to terms with something that is part of your identity, then you potentially lose them and no one wants to lose someone they love - if that love should be unconditional.
Click to expand...

Well maybe we are just different . Because to me the pain that you experience when that happens to you is just that, pain.
You need to get over it because the pain is just hurt for something that you have no control over, then why let it bother you;
It's their loss not yours.

And I absolutely hate it when people say the world sucks or is a bad place and yadda yadda, because it doesn't.
The woa wonderful place, filled with wonder, love and kindness.
Yes there are bad things in the world but that doesn't mean the world is a bad place. Its how you view it.
Click to expand...

It's true that it's how you view it. And I view it as a really bad place.
 
Harm's Way said:
Well maybe we are just different . Because to me the pain that you experience when that happens to you is just that, pain.
You need to get over it because the pain is just hurt for something that you have no control over, then why let it bother you;
It's their loss not yours.
Click to expand...

No, it is your loss.
They may lose too, but you're losing that loved one as well.
Try as you might to cut the feelings, you are still losing and thats the problem.
But yes, it is pain, something we try our hardest to never face, deal with and sometimes we feel a lie without pain is better than truth with alot.

Its another pathetic retort that really annoys me because when intelligence should tell otherwise.

Your entire argument shows an absolute naivity towards the world, something that will soon be broken, in some sense I actually am jealous of the fact you can still live in such a naive state, in others, not so much because I wouldn't be who I am now without the harsh lessons that befell me.

It's true that it's how you view it. And I view it as a really bad place.
Click to expand...

Then whats the point of it all? If the world is really such a bad place, why bother?
 
Edmund Blackadder said:
Then whats the point of it all? If the world is really such a bad place, why bother?
Click to expand...

that's the million dollar question isn't it haha.

i agree generally with what you're saying, and i know no situation is the same when it comes to gay kids coming out. i was lucky, but some people aren't, and one can only hope that with work people like you seem to be doing (counseling, etc) that the world will continue to evolve and perhaps one day being gay will be equal to being straight in the eyes of the law, families, society, etc. as long as it isn't, gay kids are going to have tough times.

oh, and i'd love to come down on the side of one of you, with regards to the whole the world is inherently bad/good argument, but i honestly don't think i can. i haven't figured it out myself yet haha.
 
E
Edmund Blackadder
Never give up, never surrender my dear
hazzard said:
that's the million dollar question isn't it haha.

oh, and i'd love to come down on the side of one of you, with regards to the whole the world is inherently bad/good argument, but i honestly don't think i can. i haven't figured it out myself yet haha.
Click to expand...

Well for every bad thing someone shows me I can trump them with something wonderful, something great, something awe inspiring.

There is always one more reason to live🙂
 
H
hazzard
i admire your conviction
I think the world is about equally balanced when it comes to goodness vs evil. But whatever your situation I think it all depends on how you choose to view your situation and the world around you. Someone in a position that most people would be jealous of can be miserable and someone who's dirt poor can be happy in their life. So mainly even if you see tons of ugliness around you, if you choose to notice the good and alter your perceptions and attitude the world isn't as bad a place to live in.
 
I mean sometimes you have to come out... because you do it for others sometimes, not yourself. Pretend you're gay but never really mentioned it to your parents, if you just bring your new gf/bf home, they may be like uuuugh wot? I think that would even be kinda rude, so you have to "come out". Like if no one cared, then you wouldn't need to come out.

Also about Andrew... do the scoobies think he's gay is a big question. He doesn't need to come out, but I wonder if the OP meant instead of "come out" maybe meant "get a love interest". In a lot of ways, that's coming out, because it brings the sexuality to the forefront.
 
S
Silum
thats a good point since noone seems to recognize him as gay
You must log in or register to reply here.
Back
Top Bottom