Gay Straight and everything in between

[evo]

This is a spawn-off thread from the recent 'Prom canceled' one:

It's funny how such hatred can come from communities and individuals, to often do i tune into the news and see someone killed or attacked because of their sexual orientation.

Just thought it would be neat to have a thread for people to share stories of themselves/friends or family.

I'm a Gay man, (Sorry ladies what you have down there just doesn't interest me lol) I'm relatively in the closet, only coming out to some old good friends, one of which was my high school crush, he gave me a hit on the back of the head for not saying something sooner... He's gay himself but in a committed relationship.

So go ahead, do you agree/disagree? Do you hate/love... Do you know/heard about something... anything

 

[Wishing Oceans]

Well, I'm not Bi/Homosexual myself, but I also don't really factor gender into availability. If I meet a nice girl that I like, then of course I'll date her, I don't see why I shouldn't. 😀 In fact, I'm planning to once I'm older. 😀 I generally bond a LOT quicker with girls than guys, girls understand other girls better, and I wouldn't have to fear that she was just looking for a star on her bedpost, so it seems like a good deal to me. 😀

I really don't understand why anyone would hate something just because it's different. It's simply ludicrous to me. And in fact reminds me of the hate people had of african-american people not too long ago, the hate of women, then hate of atheists, etc. If someone is different in any way, shape, or form, society seems like it WILL find a way to make it seem "wrong".

Honestly, I find it horribly insulting. Doesn't America pride itself on being a free and fair country? Did anybody listen to "I Have A Dream" at ALL?

It's just ridiculous, it really is. What kind of time do we live in, where people aren't free to love? It's crazy, it's like saying that a Caucasian woman can't marry an African man because they're different races. Like saying that a Christian can't marry/ love an atheist.

It's like a lot of things, all which America has gotten past before. But really, the lengths people will go to to keep someone from love... How ridiculous.

Of course, this does raise another question: Incest and Polygamy. Which is kinda contradictory to my previous opinion. I don't believe in either one of those, does that make me a bad person? : erm : They just kinda... Odd me out would be the phrase, I suppose. Not to mention there are a number of factual reasons that disprove them. But still. Should I create a thread?

 

[BuffyBro]

hahaha

I am actually gay in a small Pa. Town full of hicks u would think hate gays, but I'm proud to say that i haven't had a run in with a hater yet, but one person. the world is changing more and more and I'm glade i live in a time where it is beginning to open up to gay men! GUYS ARE HOT!!!!!

 

[BuffyElevated]

I am bisexual. Out of everyone I consider family or my best friends, only 3 know, including my husband. It's very weird... I am so supportive of gay rights, and I have SO many friends who are gay and bi, and still my family continues to believe I'm completely straight. I've even hinted in front of some of my cousins before that I wouldn't be against a relationship with a woman if Josh and I divorced and the right woman came along, and they still don't get it. Or maybe they choose to ignore it. Besides me, every single person on both sides of my family is completely homophobic. They hate gay people and think they're an abomination, and don't understand why I would support that kind of "lifestyle choice". But whatever. I don't care. My husband knows I'm bisexual, as do 2 of my good friends, but I probably will never come out because I'd rather not deal with the drama that would bring to my life. It sucks, 'cause I'd rather be open about it and I hate lying about who I am.

 

[GrrArghx]

As WO said, I think it's utterly ridiculous to try and prevent someone from being able to get married or anything, regardless of their gender, race, orientation, or anything. It just really pisses me off, especially considering what our history is like and how all types of races and genders have had to fight for their freedom in the past... some us still have to deal with racism or sexism or discrimination even now. It's just really sad.

I wouldn't label myself straight or gay... even bisexual. I don't date because I'm attracted to a particular sex, I date because I'm attracted to the PERSON. I've never dated a girl though, but I would never say never, because if I meet someone I like then it doesn't matter if the person is a woman or a man.

 

[Lyri]

I'm sorta in the same boat as HisMrs.

I'm bi, and out of my friends and family, only my best friends know, a grand total of four people, two of whom are also bi. My sister likes to make jokes, 'cause she says I look 'butch' and so I must be a lesbian, but she's 16, she only thinks she's being funny, she doesn't know she's half right.

My dad is incredibly homophobic. He knows I support gay rights, but we just don't talk about it. It only causes arguments, so I try to ignore it as much as I can, which isn't often when he's yelling at something on the TV, and I'm yelling at him to join the 21st century already.

No one else even suspects, I don't think. I'm incredibly supportive of gay rights, and same-sex marriage, so I don't really see how they don't get it, but I honestly don't think I'll ever come out. I don't actually see myself ever settling down in a relationship, with a girl or a guy, so there's not really much point.

I don't go to rallies, or marches, or anything, but I do have my own little way for showing my support. I wear a rainbow bracelet that a friend made for me, which is innocent-enough looking that no one suspects. I also wear three rubber bracelets, two black and one pink, which is a inside joke from an old fandom. So if you see anyone wearing two black and one pink jelly bracelets, say hi!

 

[evo]

Oh i hate the lying part, and i especially hate that i feel more comfortable opening up to friends rather than my own family, thats why i want to tell them after i move out, it will give them time and space to deal with it rather than *Dinner Convo* I'm gay *and return to eating*

Australia isn't that bad i guess, there are a lot of new-breaks involving racism esp where I'm from, Religion plays its part, i am friends with one girl who was hit with the bible practically when she was born and already has condemned most of us to hell because we don't go to church (In a casual talk which was bizarre)... if i told her i imagine things would get very cold between us.

 

[Mumrik]

I seem to recall a thread about pretty much the same topic around the same time last year where I said I was identifying as straight for now. Well, how much can change in a year. Things changed, I fell in love and have become more honest with myself. Right now I simply identify as queer because I don't really like the words bi- or pansexual (or to be more specific, they don't really have the right ring (yet)), but, yeah, that's what I am. But to be honest, I never gave my sexuality that much thought until my now ex-girlfriend came around. I've been appreciative of women and men all my life but, well, I never really "got" that there might have been some sexual attraction as well. I've been quite the late bloomer, so I'm blaming it on that.

I went on a date with a rather lovely lady a short while ago until I found out she doesn't believe in any sexuality besides gay and straight and thinks of bi-/pansexuality as an easy way out or a sham of straight girls to seem more interesting to guys. Which was when I was out of there because it just is another kind of closed-mindedness and I don't need to be with someone who doesn't believe my sexuality really exists. It was kind of a mind-blowing and very disappointing experience.

I came out to a very good friend of mine whom I hadn't seen for more than half a year very recently because I wanted to do it in person. She was a little surprised but her reaction was nothing but positive. 🙂 As for my family, I believe my parents are suspecting my ex was more than just a friend but I haven't officially come out as bi yet. I'm planning to do so soon though. I'm still trying to find the right words to explain it to them. In theory, they have no problem with LGBT people but they don't really like to talk about "stuff like that" and never have had any real contact with, specifically, bisexual people either and I fear they won't know what to make of it. I think they'd have an easier time if I told them I was a lesbian. xD

But so far, it's all good. I'm not complaining.

 

[Black Eye Guy]

I'm straight, no problem with other peoples sexual orientation.

I'm all for gay rights, I think it's a joke that some people have rights that others don't.

The only area I'd be iffy on would be marriage as far as the church.
My personal views on religion is that it's all a load of crock, but I do understand where they may have a problem changing their laws. I probably don't know enough about it to form an actual proper opinion though.

But as far as the law goes, I think that should be changed.

 

[Cohen]

Bi-sexual here. Recently came out to a few friends/family. I pretty much tell people when I feel it's right. I feel it's so much easier just being able to be open with my friends and family then having to hide it. It relieves a lot of stress I don't need.

I feel as though it's becoming more and more accepting to be gay/bi. And I feel if more people came out, more people would be open minded because people don't want to see their loved ones being discriminated against. There are so many closeted people out of fear of what other people will think, that it's crazy. What I've come to realize is that those who truly love you just want you to be happy. Gay/Straight/Bi, those people that you claim as "family" will, generally, support your happiness.

Now, I havent really talked to my mom or sister about me being bi since I came out, I'm still kinda unsure about their true feelings. But I dont lie to them when I'm with my boy, because there's no point. They know I'm happy and love me for it.

As well, I'm not really into the pride parades and stuff because I don't feel like shoving it all in peoples face, kind of like a "F#$% You!" isn't exactly the right way to win people over. Everyone should have the right BY LAW to marry whomever they choose. Maybe the CHURCH itself cant condone it, but as a nation founded on INDIVIDUAL RIGHTS, and specifically NOT religion, the right to same-sex marriage should be granted, no matter how bigoted one is.

 

[InsaneMystic]

I'd label myself Lesbian (yeah, bring out the Riley jokes) because, personally, I find any sex that involves male genitals gross and disturbing; so even if "superficially" one might consider me to be "straight", I've never identified with that label at all, and felt like a total oddball in the alignment game for all my post-pubescent life. (Getting ridicule for being physically virginal and intending to remain that way forever didn't help, either. By the way, 90% of that ridicule came from my family, not from peer pressure... which just goes to show again how "lucky" I was with my kin. :sigh: )

My personal disgust at penises aside, though, I'm cool with whatever sex life people feel to be comfortably fitting for themselves (as long as it's all consensual, of course - but that should go without saying). I'd sign the Wiccan motto of "And it harm none, do as thou wilt" any old day. 🙂

As for marriage - I'm not fond of the concept of commitment and monogamy, no matter who the participants are. If it were for me, the state wouldn't recognize marriage at all - be it straight, gay, or what have you - and leave the whole concept of commited matings to religious communities and to private vows. No matter if you made personal commitments to each other in your home room, or in front of some cleric of whatever faith, I really don't see the point where that's supposed to be the state's/secular law's business. And by doing away with any secular protection of marriage, you'd have perfect equality for everyone. 😉

 

[Professor Walsh]

Of course, this does raise another question: Incest and Polygamy. Which is kinda contradictory to my previous opinion. I don't believe in either one of those, does that make me a bad person? : erm : They just kinda... Odd me out would be the phrase, I suppose. Not to mention there are a number of factual reasons that disprove them. But still. Should I create a thread?

My laptop battery is dying on me, so I'll adress this first and then finish off my personal reply in Word so I don't loose it.

Wishing Oceans, my guideline for what's ok when it comes to romantic/sexual love is as follows:
If it involves only adult, consenting persons, I'm fine with it. There are a lot of lifestyles I would not adopt myself, but as long as all the participants are eqully comfortable with the arrangement, I don't mind other people doing it. Incest and otherwise having sex with minors breaks both the prerequisite of the involved parts being adults and consent (at least most often), polygamy often (but not always) breaks with the part where all involved persons give their (unrestrained) consent.

 

[Taake]

As for marriage - I'm not fond of the concept of commitment and monogamy, no matter who the participants are. If it were for me, the state wouldn't recognize marriage at all - be it straight, gay, or what have you - and leave the whole concept of commited matings to religious communities and to private vows. No matter if you made personal commitments to each other in your home room, or in front of some cleric of whatever faith, I really don't see the point where that's supposed to be the state's/secular law's business. And by doing away with any secular protection of marriage, you'd have perfect equality for everyone. 😉

now That I completely agree with.
I don't really believe in marriage but straight people, gay people and everywhere in between people should all have equal rights to it


I've dated girls, I've dated guys so I guess that make me bi. I'm not especially raa-raa about it and I don't really go to rallies.
I support the matters when I can and I am always equally shocked when you run into pigheaded close-mindedness (like a few months ago when my aunt, who is my female hero in life, absolutely shocked me by being very anti-gay marriage. I did not see that coming at all!):drunk:

 

[Tueuse de Vampires]

At this point, I identify as straight.
I've had many many MANY changes of mind in my teens, putting my everywhere on the spectrum at some point.
But at this point, I just couldn't imagine myself with a woman. I still think women can be hot, but they just don't do the same to me as guys.
Who knows, maybe I'll change my mind again at some point, but right now guys are just too attractive to me to not date them exclusively.

But to each their own.
My brother said something smart some time ago. No matter whether somebody is straight or gay, you should let everyone pick their own partners and let them be happy with them. A relationship doesn't concern anyone but the 2 people involved, and as long as they are happy, it's good.

 

[thevikingsgirl]

I've always been somewhere in between, though strangely enough since having kids I'm more straight than I used to be. I definitely see sexual orientation on a continuum, and I believe it can even shift back and forth over a lifetime. For me it's really been about individual people, not gender. As for other people, I'm in the "as long as they're consenting adults" crowd. I really couldn't care less what other people do, and I don't believe any particular orientation is wrong or unnatural (I actually sometimes think perhaps the more gay you are, the more evolved you are; nature's way of trying to get us to stop with the rampant reproduction). I'm not religious, and don't buy into the whole "sanctity of marriage" crap. I figure a 50% divorce rate among straight couples says all there is to say about that. if the government recognizes unions between men and women, they should recognize any union between adults. It should be all or none. And honestly, I'd rather it be none. I don't see why we need the government involved in marriage at all.

 

[Professor Walsh]

Now I'm been chewing on this thread all through my workday, and I still haven't decided on what to write. I don't really know what I am, except loyal and monogamous. All my relationships (as in all three of them) has been with the opposite sex, but that may very well be just because I was expecting to fall in love with a boy. Had I been born a decade or two later or grown up in a big city, I think I would have identified as bisexual or pansexual or something. I've had some major crushes on women, but to leave a relationship to explore a crush is just not something I would do.

When I was thirteen and a child on the brink of youth (yeah, I was rather late), my life was quite a mess due to family issues. I was a pretty physical kid, up to a moment I can't place in time but remember the feel of very, very clearly. The school counsellor came and took me out of class for a talk. With the look of a very sad dog, she told me that some of my friends "were worried that I was a lesbian", because of childish habits of touching people's hair, hugging, taking a hand.

Looking back at the years from then until I was in my mid-twenties, I think my youth could have played out differently if this had been handled in a better way. As it was, I felt very out of place and became very self-conscious about how I act around people. People I met later helped me get out of my shell again, but I still struggle with judging the "appropriateness" of touch.

 

[Wesley]

I'm straight, no problem with other peoples sexual orientation.

I'm all for gay rights, I think it's a joke that some people have rights that others don't.

The only area I'd be iffy on would be marriage as far as the church.
My personal views on religion is that it's all a load of crock, but I do understand where they may have a problem changing their laws. I probably don't know enough about it to form an actual proper opinion though.

But as far as the law goes, I think that should be changed.

Black Eye Guy, I have a confession. I also am straight. We are the minority here but we shouldn't feel alone. We can still live perfectly happy and normal lives in Buffy-Boards while being attracted to members of the opposite sex.


Seriously though, what I never get is why the government even calls it 'Marriage' in the first place. A marriage takes place at a church and it's a religious ceremony. I think the government should just call all pairings of people 'civil unions' and allow it to be man/man, man/woman, or woman/woman. This will take the word 'marriage' out of the lexicon of government business where it shouldn't exist anyway, and also make everyone equal under the eyes of the law.

If a church doesn't want to 'marry' two people well that's the churches decision and I guess we can vote with our pocketbooks and go to a different church right. The state should be more accepting and accommodating to it's citizens. If as they say 10% of all humanity is gay, then we are doing a disservice to 10% of our citizens, that's a failure of government and should be fixed.

 

[Washburne]

Up to this point if labels are needed I'm straight. But since I'm a firm believer that you can't choose who you fall in love with who knows what gender the next person I fall in love with will be. I've thought quite a bit about being gay. Maybe since I can be seen as quite feminin at times. Not the "so gay" exaggerated way but having more typically female traits. I've been accused of being gay. How awful is that? To use it as if gay was something bad. But sadly that's how it's been meant. I can admit when I think a guy is good looking. I can think males are charming and they can have cute smiles but I've never felt attracted to one. Yet.

I have a problem with marriage but not the same as the majority here, judging by the posts so far. But this isn't the place to bring it up so I'll just agree with that it should be the same for everyone no matter who you love. Scratch that. I do have problem with incest. Call me narrowminded if you want.

I judge (I'm not saying it's good to judge but I do.) people on how they are not what they are. And if I get disappointed, disappointed not thinking it's wrong, in people sexuality it is when they're straight. I want to know (more) gay and bi people in real life.

I actually sometimes think perhaps the more gay you are, the more evolved you are; nature's way of trying to get us to stop with the rampant reproduction.

I think I like this just a little more than I should. 😛

 

[Karol]

I agree with all gay things and I love gay people! I think they are brave to admit, even for themselves, to be different from the major opinion.

I believe that probably all of us are bisexual, like society was in the beginning.

I think women are better looking than man... BUT... I know I´m straight.. I don´t have what it takes to want women... guys are my thing 🙂

 

[Kali]

Black Eye Guy, I have a confession. I also am straight. We are the minority here but we shouldn't feel alone. We can still live perfectly happy and normal lives in Buffy-Boards while being attracted to members of the opposite sex.

Lol! I know, I feel so incredibly repressed and ashamed. Its true. I too am straight. No use denying it.

Seriously, though (and not in any way detracting from the seriousness of those who have bared their souls) I do have a gay 'second husband' and a few gay and bi friends, and I am a strong supporter of gay rights - I am not homophobic in the slightest. Live and let live I say.

I do sometimes feel though (throws in hand grenade, prepare yourselves) that whereas I am quite prepared to accept that people may have a different orientation to me, sometimes (very occasionally) I am challenged for being too rigid and not bowing to peer pressure and saying 'if the right woman came along...' which hardly seems fair. It's a little condescending to be honest - like by my age I don't know my own orientation.

Now I'm not suggesting every gay person I know does that, but it has happened more than once. Usually from women. Just my two penneth worth.

Someone hit me with a dose of male pheromones please, just so I can be sure.