Giles/Buffy I had to leave

[RipperGilesFan]

I had to Leave

Chapter 1
She already knew he was there before she turned around. "Hey Wes, what brings you to this part of town on the Eve of yet another apocalypse?" Wesley smiled and walked into the room. "Hello Buffy". She turned around. "So. What brings you here? ". Wesley huffed. I suppose you wouldn't believe me if I told you I was in the neighborhood?", he tried another smile. Of her reaction he added, "I just wanted to know if there was anything else we could do from our side". Buffy shook her head. "No we've got everything covered". "Okay, so that's good then"¦.I guess I won't wish you luck because that usually"¦. I best be on my way then", he started to leave.

"You could just have called, you know?", Buffy said. Wesley turned around, "yes, I suppose I could have, but"¦.I needed to speak with my boss anyway and--, anyway I should get going". It took a minute to settle in, then Buffy said, "So it's official then?". Wesley looked puzzled. "Official?"

"Giles, he's officially the new leader of the Watchers Council?"she inquired. Wesley's puzzlement only grew. "Well, yes"¦.he has been"¦..ever since Quentin"¦.he seemed the obvious choice". He could read nothing in Buffy's reaction. "Since when?", she only asked. "Since when?....well let's see"¦I think three months"¦.four? "¦.Buffy, I'm sorry, I assumed you knew"

Buffy's laugh was forced, "yeah well, it seems there's a lot my watcher isn't telling me these days", it was not hard for Wesley to pick up on the bitterness in which she spoke the words. "I'm sure he meant to", he tried. "Yeah, he must have", she didn't sound convinced. Wesley walked back into the room. "I understand things have been a bit rocky between the two of you"”", Buffy scoffed, --"but it was my understanding things were a little better", Wesley continued as if he hadn't heard her.

"We manage", was her cool reply. "We have to work together on this". Wesley nodded, "Yes. Absolutely. We cannot afford a rift between the two of you now, Buffy, I can't emphasis this enough", Wesley stated, looking directly at her. "I know. He knows. We know. We'll get it done, don't worry. At least he won't be walking this time, that's the one thing I'm sure off. "I'm sorry.Walking?", Wesley asked, not quite understanding.
"You know, leave, but only for my own good", she explained. Wesley siged, "Ah, that". "Yes, that", she replied only barely able to keep the anger out of her voice.

"Buffy, I wasn't there, but I can assure you"”"That it was for my own good", she finished for him. "I know, I just said that. It was all for my benefit, no matter I was in dire straits, no matter everything was spinning out of control, oh yes, he did come back to stop Willow, but he couldn't leave again soon enough. All for my own good, of course"

"My God"¦.you still haven't figured it out, have you?", Wesley sounded both astonished and irritated. Now it was Buffy's time to look puzzled. "Figured out what?". "Why he left". "I told you , he left for my own"”" "that's the story he told you!", Wesley now did sound annoyed, "I would have thought you would have figured out by now there was a lot more to it!" Buffy just stared at him. "What are you talking about?', she finally asked. Wesley rubbed his eyes. "Forget it. Forget I said anything". "Like hell I'm not", Buffy walked closer. "What the hell are you talking about, Wes?". "It's not my place to tell. Talk to Giles", at that Wesley started to leave again, but Buffy blocked his path.

"Oh no you're not. You're not dropping this bombshell and leave. What more to it was there?!" Wesley sighed, turned back around and looked straight into her eye, "He left, because you were in grave danger. That's why he went back to England, to eliminate that danger" . For a second Buffy's mouth fell open, only for her to close it again quickly. "What "˜danger'? I'm always "˜in danger'", she said angrily, "what kind of reason would that be for him to leave?!"

"The kind of danger we had never faced before"¦..until recently", Wesley replied looking distantly. "Look Buffy, this really isn't up to me"¦.I already said too much. Talk- To- Giles", he said one more time and left. Leaving a bewildered Buffy in his wake.

Chapter two
Buffy waited on the porch when Giles came walking op to the house with a bunch of potentials in tow. "Well, I guess we're all set", he told her when the potentials walked into the house. When he wanted to follow them Buffy stopped him. "We need to talk". Giles looked at her, on guard. "Okay", he said after a slight hesitation and walked back onto the porch. "About what?"

Buffy closed the door and stood in front of it, folding her arms in front of her. "Were you ever going to tell me?". "Pardon?", Giles looked genuinely confused. "Or was this yet again one of those things you decided to keep from me, for my benefit, of course", she added with an edge. Giles sighed and ran a hand through his hair, clearly frustrated. "Okay, what have I done this time? ". "You tell me". "Buffy, I'm sorry, you're gonna have to be a little more specific on this", Giles irritation visibly grew.

"When were you going to tell me the reason of why you left after me friends pulled me out of heaven?", she now asked sharply. Giles blinked, "I already told you that". "yeah, yeach, you gave me the whole song and dance, about me depending to much on you, you standing in the way"¦ yada yada yada"¦.but I'm talking about the real reason here, Giles". "Buffy, I really don't know what you're talking about", Giles replied walked up to the door and again wanted to walk inside. But Buffy didn't move an inch.

"What treat made you travel to England. What could possibly be more dangerous than the danger surrounding me every day you had to pack your bags and personally take care of this threat?", she asked never taking her eyes of him. She could see he startled, but he covered quickly. "I don't know what you're talking about", he said, but his eyes avoided hers. "I'm talking about a little bird who told me you traveled to England, to eliminate a danger that was bigger than ever before", she matter of factly informed him.

"Idiot!'Giles cursed. "He had no right to tell you!". "I think I had every right to know ", she shot back. "Since I apparently very much was the target of this danger. But yet you decided to keep it from me, like you kept your new employment from me". Giles just shook his head in frustration. "Giles, talk to me", Buffy yelled. "What is going on with you, why are you keeping al this stuff from me?".

"What is it you want from me!?', he yelled back now. "The truth!", she called in desperation. "I want you to talk to me, to stop shutting me out, stop keeping things from me", then --softer, "I want you to stop being so cold and distant"¦.I want the Giles I know and love back". "I'm afraid it's a little too late for that", he replied and walked away from her.

Buffy walked over and laid a hand on his shoulder. "Giles, please, I'm not here to judge you, or"¦.I just want you to talk to me, tell me what's going on"¦.I know something's been of for a long time. Even when back you came home to help us stop Willow"¦.I knew something was wrong and I"¦.I blame myself for not forcing you to"¦.please Giles"¦talk to me". Giles sighed, then turned around to look at her. "The truth? ", he asked and smiled an empty smile. "The truth", she answered and tried a sincere smile.
Giles sighed once more and walked over to one of the chairs. "You may want to take a seat yourself", he said and smiled his empty smile again.

He searched the inside pocket of his jacket and lit up a igarette. "I thought you quit a long time ago", Buffy said while taking the other chair. "I did"¦.I quit drinking too", was his answer, "three times already in the last few months". He inhaled deeply, closed his eyes and let the smoke out slowly. "the truth", he repeated.

"What happened when you went back to England?', Buffy asked softly. Giles opened his eyes. "I took care of the threat"¦. Or rather, I eliminated the threat", he answered looking directly at her. For a minute Buffy felt her head spinning and she was glad she had taken his advice to make use of the second chair. When she looked back at him he was smiling his awful empty smile once more. `You sure you still want to the truth?" he asked.

Still polishing on the final chapter a bit will add it just a bit later

 

[RipperGilesFan]

Chapter 3
Giles took another drag from the cigarette; Buffy saw his hand shaking, the look in his eyes distant and as empty as his smile, and for the first time she really took note of how tired and old he looked as if since the last time she saw him he aged ten years. “What made you go back”, she asked trying to clear her head. Giles looked at her. “I few days before I left I had a visitor, a rather surprising visitor, I might add. Travers”, he finished after her questioning look.

“He said he needed my help”, he laughed shortly. “You can imagine my surprise when I heard him say it”, his face grew grim again a second later. “It appeared Quentin had come under fire.....quite literally in fact, but that was much later....anyway, he’d come under fire within the council, people were trying to topple him as Council leader. They weren’t exactly happy with his leadership”. “I know how that feels”, Buffy tried a joke. Giles smiled briefly. “yes, normally I would agree…were it not that the people trying to topple him, and you might find it hard to believe, were a lot worse than even him.

A group of watchers within the council had struck up an alliance outside the council. A mysterious group, powerful….strong magical abilities. They felt they would make a strong asset in the fight against the forces of darkness`, Giles fell silent and his mind seemed to drift away. `Let me Guess, Travers did not agree`, Buffy said in an attempt to get him to focus again. `”To say the least”, Giles continued, “and he was far from alone.

More than a few Council members were distrustful of this group, and even more of the magic’s they used. But once they started having success with their way of demon hunting and destroying, pressure on Quinten and his trusties mounted , especially when several of the watchers bringing the alliance about managed to get seats within the council.”

`I’m not sure I understand`, Buffy said, `”I mean, if they were successful, okay….maybe using a bit of black magic, bad…but if it did the job….what was the threat they brought? Especially to me?”. “I’m getting there”, Giles smiled a small smile at her impatience. “Quinten’s fears really rose once you....once they had resurrected you......By this time, the watchers in strong favor of the alliance had a strong position within the council, and the group of outsiders labeled you….a threat”

“Me?”, Buffy asked somewhat dumbfounded. Giles nodded. “You did not belong to this world anymore, bringing you back made you a threat to all mankind and the world we live on”…. “They weren’t completely wrong about that”, Buffy said softly. Giles pretended not to have heard it and carried on. “first it was just talk, but Quinten had the strong feeling a group was moving beyond words.....that they were actually preparing plans to eliminate you….”, he was silent for a while. “Then….some of his most trusted allies started to swing and sided with the alliance….there was a complete change of attitude and opinion of their part about many things….he became more and more isolated”

Buffy wanted to protest when Giles paused to light another cigarette, but decided now was not the time.”Then one of his remaining loyal aides warned him….it was a matter of time before a team would be dispatched to Sunnydale to…..to eliminate that what they saw as the biggest threat to mankind”, he stopped to take inhale deeply once more. “Me”, buffy finished the thought for him. Giles just nodded. “and that’s when he came to you”.

Again Giles nodded. “He was extremely weary of the motives of the alliance, what could did they think would come of killing the slayer….why did they want you out of the way?”…..

“So what did he want you to do?’, Buffy asked when Giles fell silent again. “He gave me chart blanc…do whatever was necessary to eliminate that…those who posed a threat to you. So….I went to England….and did just that”. For a long time Buffy did not know what to say, he hadn’t said it out loud, but she knew exactly what he had just told her. When she finally was able to look at him again, he smiled once more, “You wanted to truth”, he said.

“If it makes you feel better….even though it’s failed to do so for me thus far….many of them weren’t human anymore….that is, most of them had died months before they took their place within the council and teams…..They wore the faces of people I had known for many years, some of them I would even have called friends, but it wasn’t them I---“, his voice faltered.

“The first”, Buffy whispered and closed her eyes. Giles smiled sadly, “it infiltrated us long before we even realized, before we even knew what was going on….they’re probably still….it’s hard to tell who you can and cannot trust anymore these days—“
Buffy swallowed, “God, Giles….I’m so….”, than angrily, “why didn’t you tell me any of this?!”. “You had enough to deal with already”, Giles said avoiding eye contact.

“My point is, Buffy…..these people were deeply embedded within the council, trusted man and women….but when time came they did not hesitate to kill dozens and dozens of those who trusted them….they never never saw it coming….never had a chance----“ “I know where you’re going with this”, Buffy interrupted him. Then after a silence, “Spike”. But he wouldn’t, he’s—“. “he’s dead Buffy, soul or no soul, and the first could use him against—“ “He won’t let that happen!”, Buffy countered. “He won’t”, she repeated when Giles just sighed.

“I wish you would have….I would have understood where you were coming from so much better….I still disagree with you about Spike, but---“ Giles just stared into the distance “At least now you know, why I had to leave”, he stated and got out of his chair. “It doesn’t matter anyway…..once this is over….I’ll leave”, he said turning back around to face her. The statement angered her and she shot out of her own chair. “Leaving once more, Giles?” He just looked at her sadly and said nothing.

“And how long do you plan on keep running? “ Again, no answer. “Giles, the last thing you should be doing now is….you can’t leave, not like this. You need your friends, you need people who love you around you, to fix what’s broken”. “it’s too late for that”, he said again. “So it’s not!”, she spat. “Look, I know…I know now what this has been doing to you, but you had no choice…they gave you no choice”. “You seem to be rather sure of that”, he said without facing her. “Yes I do! And I am because I know you! I know you are a good man, through and through! You could never take a life if there was the slightest chance to avoid that. This is war! It’s them or us! And if they should win…..”, she didn’t need to end that sentence.

“Do you have any idea….how many people I’ve killed?”, he asked taking every effort to keep his voice from breaking. “Not people”, she answered without hesitation, you said so yourself. “They were dead long before—“ “But I didn’t know….not then”, he said softly, “and….some of them were human still—“ “Signing up with some very inhuman forces. Again; they gave you no other choice!” Again, he did not reply.

“You can’t leave Giles, I won’t let you”, Buffy said once more. “I’m not giving up on this ….or you. Not ever”. Giles turned around and entered the house. Not saying a word.
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