I'm just going to try and be completely honest with this post.
The past week has been extremely hard on me. But unfortunately it's not just this week or this year. I keep finding myself at this place, upset over BB, and just not wanting to be here anymore. But this was the worst it's ever been and the first time I've truly been able to say, "I'm ready to give the board up."
I've spent the week talking to a lot of people I trust. And reading a lot of posts by you members. And having a lot of good pm conversations. I started to list people I wanted to invite to AD if I closed the board. And that was when I realized that there are more good members here that I want to keep talking to than there are members that make me feel like I can't be here.
Faith and I have been working together on this board and elsewhere more than ten years. BB is her's just as much as mine. So the decision of what to do rested with the two of us, and we both ended up feeling the same way. And that was that the staff here and the good members deserved one more try from us. But that we needed to really DO something, not just hope that it would get better. So here we are. And it's this or close the board.
The infighting has to go. It HAS to. It makes everyone miserable and has no positive impact on anything. Again, I'm being perfectly honest in this thread, we are at a place where there are certain members who I feel are just not good for this board. And I can't be on here if they are here too. At first, I thought it was people that I disliked, and then looking at the list we had made I decided I didn't hate any of these people, but the way they act on the board brings everyone else to a bad place.
You'll notice this thread is closed. This is because this subject is not up for discussion. I was serious when I said it was them or me, and I chose me.
Having said that, I know that these people are many of your friends and I understand that and I do sympathize. I understand if you feel you need to leave with them. I understand if you think this is wrong and you feel the need to leave the board. Each person has the right to make their own decision whether to stay or go. This is what we felt we had to do to keep the board open. We're not going to go twenty rounds about this decision. We're not going to let everyone say their piece on it. It is how it must be. And the options are to live with it and do what you're here to do, or leave the board. We're not going to perpetuate the bad feelings by revisiting this again and again round and round in circles of fighting about it. And this goes for Facebook/Twitter as well: if you try to take the fight there, we will unfriend/follow you.
I do feel bad to have had to ban these people. It's not easy to do. I don't want them to be upset though I know some of them will be. It's not that I think they're bad people, but I do think they are bad for BB right now.
Now I'm going to move on from that, because it is now in the past.
From my perspective, there is an expectation by some that they should be able to say whatever they want on this board, be it to staff or to another member, and that it should be okay because it is their "opinion", and that no one should be able to say anything in return about it. We do not agree with this. And the staff is no longer going to take a back seat.
You can expect to be treated the same way you treat others. I do not mean that nastyness will be met with nastyness from the staff. But the staff will not tolerate or just "take it" when a member acts uncivilized. Threads will be closed or the person will be asked to restate themselves in a calmer manner. If you want something, you need to be civil about it. We are not going to fight with you. In return the staff promises to try to be kindlier and less formal in official replies.
Mods will give one warning and one warning only in threads where members are treating each other disrespectfully and then the thread will be closed. As we are not going to go twenty rounds about board announcements, we are too not going to watch members go twenty rounds of foolishness disrespecting each other. Either people will learn how to have a civil discussion with differing opinions or they won't have them at all.
We have been criticized for giving too many second chances here. So we have instituted a three strikes system for failure to respect fellow members of the community. Members will be informed of each strike against them and the specific reason & post/karma/pm. After three strikes that person will be banned. All members of staff will be able to review a strike before it is given and have the opportunity to disagree, so that personal bias will be removed from it. Honestly, I think our old way of doing everything possible to help a member change so they stay is better, and I think others will find that to be true as well, but if fairness is a perceived problem we will try to remove it.
Hopefully, we will be left with a good core group here who is here for the right reasons and who can slowly get their trust in the staff back when they see for themselves how they are treated.
Along with having a good core group, we are going to try and get the community feeling back for everyone, staff and members. To this end, we are temporarily - TEMPORARILY - closing the private dorm forums. We are not getting rid of the dorms. Members will still be sorted, prefects will still be there, dorm activities will still be held. But it's not a secret that a lot of people were only posting in their dorm. That and the fact that it's something hidden from the rest of the board I think has an effect on community. We want people to interact with the whole community again so they can get that spirit back.
I like the dorms, I don't want to get rid of them, I think they serve a good purpose BUT we do need a bit of time spent getting the community back. I envision this lasting about a month. I know this is going to anger some of you, but it is for a good reason, it's only temporary, it's only the hidden posting, the dorm is not the reason the board is here, and this is not up for discussion. If you feel the need to leave because of this, then that is your right and your decision to make. Going round and round saying the same thing over and over ("I miss the dorms!" "It's only temporary!" "I miss the dorms!" "It's only temporary!" "I miss the dorms!" "It's only temporary!") isn't going to help anyone.
Hopefully one day (soon) people will again be able to speak their mind because it will happen in a civil way, but in order to get this place back to ship shape we are making the decisions and doing what is necessary. And that way people's board time can be spent in Buffy discussions rather than arguing.
I do want to remind everyone that we have the Member Issues and Concerns forum inside the Help forum, where you guys can bring up any problems you're having privately, and that includes with both members and staff. Again, though, calmly and rationally is the key.
It truly saddens me that it has come to this, but it has come to this. The number one rule of this board is to treat each other with respect, and either we get back there or the board dies. It shouldn't be a problem for anyone to be a member of this board without problems, because everyone should be able to respect each other. Please show that you're here to talk Buffy and not to fight and troll or have a "cause" against the staff just because they are staff. There are bigger problems in this world and I know I'd like to be able to leave them at the doorstep when I come onto BB.
The past week has been extremely hard on me. But unfortunately it's not just this week or this year. I keep finding myself at this place, upset over BB, and just not wanting to be here anymore. But this was the worst it's ever been and the first time I've truly been able to say, "I'm ready to give the board up."
I've spent the week talking to a lot of people I trust. And reading a lot of posts by you members. And having a lot of good pm conversations. I started to list people I wanted to invite to AD if I closed the board. And that was when I realized that there are more good members here that I want to keep talking to than there are members that make me feel like I can't be here.
Faith and I have been working together on this board and elsewhere more than ten years. BB is her's just as much as mine. So the decision of what to do rested with the two of us, and we both ended up feeling the same way. And that was that the staff here and the good members deserved one more try from us. But that we needed to really DO something, not just hope that it would get better. So here we are. And it's this or close the board.
The infighting has to go. It HAS to. It makes everyone miserable and has no positive impact on anything. Again, I'm being perfectly honest in this thread, we are at a place where there are certain members who I feel are just not good for this board. And I can't be on here if they are here too. At first, I thought it was people that I disliked, and then looking at the list we had made I decided I didn't hate any of these people, but the way they act on the board brings everyone else to a bad place.
You'll notice this thread is closed. This is because this subject is not up for discussion. I was serious when I said it was them or me, and I chose me.
Having said that, I know that these people are many of your friends and I understand that and I do sympathize. I understand if you feel you need to leave with them. I understand if you think this is wrong and you feel the need to leave the board. Each person has the right to make their own decision whether to stay or go. This is what we felt we had to do to keep the board open. We're not going to go twenty rounds about this decision. We're not going to let everyone say their piece on it. It is how it must be. And the options are to live with it and do what you're here to do, or leave the board. We're not going to perpetuate the bad feelings by revisiting this again and again round and round in circles of fighting about it. And this goes for Facebook/Twitter as well: if you try to take the fight there, we will unfriend/follow you.
I do feel bad to have had to ban these people. It's not easy to do. I don't want them to be upset though I know some of them will be. It's not that I think they're bad people, but I do think they are bad for BB right now.
Now I'm going to move on from that, because it is now in the past.
From my perspective, there is an expectation by some that they should be able to say whatever they want on this board, be it to staff or to another member, and that it should be okay because it is their "opinion", and that no one should be able to say anything in return about it. We do not agree with this. And the staff is no longer going to take a back seat.
You can expect to be treated the same way you treat others. I do not mean that nastyness will be met with nastyness from the staff. But the staff will not tolerate or just "take it" when a member acts uncivilized. Threads will be closed or the person will be asked to restate themselves in a calmer manner. If you want something, you need to be civil about it. We are not going to fight with you. In return the staff promises to try to be kindlier and less formal in official replies.
Mods will give one warning and one warning only in threads where members are treating each other disrespectfully and then the thread will be closed. As we are not going to go twenty rounds about board announcements, we are too not going to watch members go twenty rounds of foolishness disrespecting each other. Either people will learn how to have a civil discussion with differing opinions or they won't have them at all.
We have been criticized for giving too many second chances here. So we have instituted a three strikes system for failure to respect fellow members of the community. Members will be informed of each strike against them and the specific reason & post/karma/pm. After three strikes that person will be banned. All members of staff will be able to review a strike before it is given and have the opportunity to disagree, so that personal bias will be removed from it. Honestly, I think our old way of doing everything possible to help a member change so they stay is better, and I think others will find that to be true as well, but if fairness is a perceived problem we will try to remove it.
Hopefully, we will be left with a good core group here who is here for the right reasons and who can slowly get their trust in the staff back when they see for themselves how they are treated.
Along with having a good core group, we are going to try and get the community feeling back for everyone, staff and members. To this end, we are temporarily - TEMPORARILY - closing the private dorm forums. We are not getting rid of the dorms. Members will still be sorted, prefects will still be there, dorm activities will still be held. But it's not a secret that a lot of people were only posting in their dorm. That and the fact that it's something hidden from the rest of the board I think has an effect on community. We want people to interact with the whole community again so they can get that spirit back.
I like the dorms, I don't want to get rid of them, I think they serve a good purpose BUT we do need a bit of time spent getting the community back. I envision this lasting about a month. I know this is going to anger some of you, but it is for a good reason, it's only temporary, it's only the hidden posting, the dorm is not the reason the board is here, and this is not up for discussion. If you feel the need to leave because of this, then that is your right and your decision to make. Going round and round saying the same thing over and over ("I miss the dorms!" "It's only temporary!" "I miss the dorms!" "It's only temporary!" "I miss the dorms!" "It's only temporary!") isn't going to help anyone.
Hopefully one day (soon) people will again be able to speak their mind because it will happen in a civil way, but in order to get this place back to ship shape we are making the decisions and doing what is necessary. And that way people's board time can be spent in Buffy discussions rather than arguing.
I do want to remind everyone that we have the Member Issues and Concerns forum inside the Help forum, where you guys can bring up any problems you're having privately, and that includes with both members and staff. Again, though, calmly and rationally is the key.
It truly saddens me that it has come to this, but it has come to this. The number one rule of this board is to treat each other with respect, and either we get back there or the board dies. It shouldn't be a problem for anyone to be a member of this board without problems, because everyone should be able to respect each other. Please show that you're here to talk Buffy and not to fight and troll or have a "cause" against the staff just because they are staff. There are bigger problems in this world and I know I'd like to be able to leave them at the doorstep when I come onto BB.
