Got a Problem/Issue? Need Advice?

[mogwaid]

Do you have a crush on someone but don't know how to tell them?

Thinking about getting your haircut but don't know what style to do it?

Is someone bullying you for no reason at all?

Everyone has problems. I thought I'd make a thread so if you feel like you need someone to talk to, then ask for advice here.

I have to say that this thread is a serious topic, and not just for jokes. Also, the advice given here, is not from professionals , its just friendly advice, if you aren't ready to speak to a teacher/parent/friend/doctor. If the mods/admins feel that the thread is getting out of hand, then they'll close it, and there will be no advice for anyone.

Sweet? Ask Away.

 

[mogwaid]

Wow, no takers? I'll get the ball rolling!

I met this guy, who i like a lot (he doesnt know i like him, and im too shy to tell him), and hes new to the area. And he told me his birthday is coming up very soon.

1. Should I buy him something? Will that make it obvious that i like him? Should I add a card?

2. What do you buy a guy? Something sporty if i know what sport he likes? Or should i find out more about what he likes, and then buy him something?

 

[Buffy Summers]

How much time have you been spending together? Maybe instead of a gift you should suggest doing something for his birthday? Like planning for you and some friends and him to go out to the pub or something? So a) you get to spend more time with him in a relaxed situation where there are other people around and b) there's no embarassment about the giving of a gift if he wasn't expecting it but c) you're still doing something nice for him especially if he doesn't know the area well.

🙂

 

[mogwaid]

^

Sounds like a good idea except i already asked him if he wanted to do something for his birthday, and he said he wanted it to be low key. oh Also, im living in the middle east, no pubs here. But i dont drink now anyway.

Ive seen him on a few occasions, talked to him twice for long periods, getting to know him better. The reason i thought id get him a gift is coz i think no one else would because they might not know its his birthday, so hed be all "awwwww"-ed out.

Do guys work like that?

 

[Verrvemesh]

hey mog waid from across the globe,

in regards to your question, do guys work like that, depends, but either way, i wouldn't do give him a gift because of the simple fact that he'll probably figure out your into him and that he has power over you, not to say anything about you, but it is a general response when a guy gets a gift from a gurl he just met.

i think buff got a great idea. take him somewhere for a bite to eat, nothing fancy, cause that'll be even worse than getting him a gift. I'd go for something casual. That way you guys can talk and it can be under the pretext of just friends.

i think if you want to attract him, don't take him too seriously, eventhough its very counter-intuitive. And whatever you do, do not...

 

[Immortal_Slayer]

My problem is i don't know how i feel about my girlfriend anymore, we have been together for ten months and recently im not sure how i feel about her, when i think about what i want in a relationship she doesn't hold some of the important qualities, like i know i can't trust her to keep things personal between us and she's even brought up some things ive told her to her friend right infront of me and its awkward. She won't tell me how she feels about me and she doesn't do romantic and i do and i need romance and she just laughs at the idea she's also really hurtful without realising it and i sometimes think she should see it.
Yes im just rambling here i know i think my perfect woman would be paulie from lost and delirious lol she's like my dream woman at the moment.
It's ok if nobody answers i just needed to get it out 🙂

 

[definition of insane]

Probably not the best person to be dishing out advice (seeing as I'm in my own emotional turmoil on many occasions) but maybe you really need to sit down with her and make it known that what she's saying really upsets you and work through it together.

But then again if you're not sure about how you feel about your girlfriend anymore then perhaps you really need stop and think about whether it's worth it.

Either way, I hope it all works out for you. :hug:

My non-emotional-turmoil problem...I don't have anything to do at work. It's getting rather boring....

 

[mogwaid]

Immortal_Slayer,

I know exactly how you feel. Try to work it out if you think that it will be possible. Do you think you could love her? Sometimes because its been 10 months, some relationships lose that *spark*. Are you arguing with each other a lot? Have you thought about taking a break from each other for maybe a week. That way you can see how much you miss each other or not. Hope that helps.

definition of insane,

What do you do for a job? If you're getting paid to do nothing..*shakes fist* Do you have a computer? can you take a book? music? Can you continue writing that novel you've been working on? Do you like Rugby? Maybe you can think about how badly New Zealand is going to beat Australia in the world cup this year? 😛 Ok more info and i'll chuck some more suggestions.
[br][/br]
Edit:
[br][/br]

hey mog waid from across the globe,

in regards to your question, do guys work like that, depends, but either way, i wouldn't do give him a gift because of the simple fact that he'll probably figure out your into him and that he has power over you, not to say anything about you, but it is a general response when a guy gets a gift from a gurl he just met.

i think buff got a great idea. take him somewhere for a bite to eat, nothing fancy, cause that'll be even worse than getting him a gift. I'd go for something casual. That way you guys can talk and it can be under the pretext of just friends.

i think if you want to attract him, don't take him too seriously, eventhough its very counter-intuitive. And whatever you do, do not...

Do not...?

I was talking to him, and suggesting things to do on his birthday, but he didnt want to go out. And i said i needed to see him, because i had a gift for him. And that completely changed his mind. Then he really wanted to go out and do something fun.

I guess the gift made him think that i was into him. Because I do want him to know, (just hints so it ok for him to make the first move) but im not going to let him have power over me.

Now i have to think of somewhere to go.

 

[alexa]

My problem is i don't know how i feel about my girlfriend anymore, we have been together for ten months and recently im not sure how i feel about her, when i think about what i want in a relationship she doesn't hold some of the important qualities, like i know i can't trust her to keep things personal between us and she's even brought up some things ive told her to her friend right infront of me and its awkward. She won't tell me how she feels about me and she doesn't do romantic and i do and i need romance and she just laughs at the idea she's also really hurtful without realising it and i sometimes think she should see it.
Yes im just rambling here i know i think my perfect woman would be paulie from lost and delirious lol she's like my dream woman at the moment.
It's ok if nobody answers i just needed to get it out 🙂

Hard situation, especially when you're 20 and working out who you are. She sounds like some of my ex-boyfriends 😉 I'd talk to her and tell her how you feel, if she doesn't respect that I'd think about moving on.. there's a lot of fish in the sea, you just have to look around sometimes. Of course that's easier said then done, but it usually is at first. Good luck hun *insert supportive smilie*

 

[definition of insane]

definition of insane,

What do you do for a job? If you're getting paid to do nothing..*shakes fist* Do you have a computer? can you take a book? music? Can you continue writing that novel you've been working on? Do you like Rugby? Maybe you can think about how badly New Zealand is going to beat Australia in the world cup this year? 😛 Ok more info and i'll chuck some more suggestions.

I work in admin on a construction job but my section has been a little slow this lately so I've been sitting at my computer surfing the web and reading my HR Monthly :lmao:....I think I'm starting to feel guilty about it is all.

I wish I could write a novel! The only thing I seem to really do is blog a lot and most of it is utter nonsense...Can't wait for the rugby world cup...I love world cup anything! Hooray us the Aussies for beating the Scots in the cricket (not that is was much of a fight really).

 

[Jenny]

My problem is i don't know how i feel about my girlfriend anymore, we have been together for ten months and recently im not sure how i feel about her, when i think about what i want in a relationship she doesn't hold some of the important qualities, like i know i can't trust her to keep things personal between us and she's even brought up some things ive told her to her friend right infront of me and its awkward. She won't tell me how she feels about me and she doesn't do romantic and i do and i need romance and she just laughs at the idea she's also really hurtful without realising it and i sometimes think she should see it.
Yes im just rambling here i know i think my perfect woman would be paulie from lost and delirious lol she's like my dream woman at the moment.
It's ok if nobody answers i just needed to get it out 🙂

Seems to me like you've already made your choice here 😉 the stuff you are describing are obviously deal-breakers for you...for instance the her not being romantic when you are thing. It just won't work if you aren't together on those kinds of philosophies. Trust me, you will eventually begin to resent her for not being the way you want her to be.

 

[Verrvemesh]

hehehe, good for you moggie, hope everything goes alright with you on his birthday

i tend to agree with jenny, cause she used deal breaker, and, that sounds like doctor phil. And doctor phil is my role model

 

[Immortal_Slayer]

The problem is no longer a problem, she took it out of my hands and ended it last night.
She was also kinda mean about it and said some nasty things the worst part is most of the stuff she said was true, I hate that i can never say the nasty stuff back even tho she makes me want to.
I need to be more Faith like!

People wonder why im always so quiet and shy and look moody alot and it's because i dont talk about my feelings and also if something happens like i break up with someone i have no one i can tell who i trust enough not even family so all they see is fake "BlackMagic"

*wanders back out*

 

[definition of insane]

Immortal_Slayer - I always found I was like that and still more likely to be aloof than to share my feelings but for some reason blogging helps me...I don't know how but I guess I just tend to express my frustrations over stuff easily and it just helps to let it out and also to actually voice what is frustrating me (probably the reason why I have too many blogs to begin with).

:hug:

 

[Immortal_Slayer]

She's online now and obv has blocked me because she's talkin to a friend of mine and she's even tellin her how much ive hurt her and not been there for her recently when she knows aswell ive been through stuff too and not once asked me if im ok, she only sees that ive hurt her and it's just making me not like her more and part of me wants to blow up at her for not seeing how selfish she can be and everythings always about her and telling her family and friends how horrible i am when im not there to defend myself even tho i dont really like any of them i still want them to know im not like that its weird. Yes again i realise im ramblin and i apologise, feel free to throw soft things at me (soft!)

 

[mogwaid]

Awww Immortal_Slayer!

We arent going to throw things at you!! (Maybe with the exception of Miffed who has already started to), but this is what this thread is about...

I recently went through a break up, and it was somewhat similar to yours. And you know what? You did it because you knew it wasnt going to work, there was going to be more and more pain if you kept going because you werent right for each other. Maybe she doesnt see it that way, maybe she sees it as tho you have just stabbed her the back. You could explain it to her, she may not understand....but at the end of the day, thats it. Both of you are better off without each other. Pain will fade and you will find somebody who is right for you!

As for her making you sound evil, All you can do, is if it ever comes up, you deny being in the wrong, (not that there was any 'wrong' or 'right' really..) and you had your reasons to break up with her. And its not their business anyway. Let them think what they want to think about you, because you know what you did was right for you. They'll eventually move on from it.

 

[Immortal_Slayer]

Your all so sweet and thanks for listening :grouphug: and the marshmellows of course.I actualy feel alot lighter today and i kinda realise what my friends saw all along and i just chose not to, even tho i was dumped by her i think im better off least now i know what she can be like.
Bah now i'll need to find somethin else to complain about *does the winnie pooh head thinkage pose*

 

[Raiys]

I'm glad you feel better immortal slayer, she obviously wasn't right for you, saying those things about you and making you wonder about the relationship in the firts place.

I know exactly how you feel since I'm "kind of" in the same situation you were before you broke up, with my bf. In my case I 'm basically having a serious contradiction of the heart and the mind. Me and my bf have been together for almost 3 years and a half now. We've had some problems while we were both studying abroad together, I eventually came home early, it was really good for me to be away from him and get some perspective, all the while he kept emailing me every day telling me how much he missed me and he wanted to fix things, but then he came home and things have been weird ever since. I feel like I've been making all kinds of efforts to correct my wrongs for the good of our relationship but he never did that kind of self-evaluation and doesn't seems to want to change. Like he says he knows he's not being fair to me, or that he's being selfish and he says he's sorry, but nothing ever changes and all the while he's telling me that one day he's completely in love with me and is super-sweet and caring and devoted and the next he seems distant and self absorbed. Its like dating two people! Very confuzing.
So I am too doubting my relationship, some days I feel used and toyed with and others everything is roses and lollipops and its so hard because I can't do anything else to be a better girlfriend, yet I can't change the way he feels, nor the way I feel.
My mind is telling me it would be better to end it and find someone who does love me the way I deserve all the time or at least most of the time, but I still love him and I'm also so scared to be alone and afraid that my trust in love has been damaged to a point where I won't open up very easily to someone else and be able to love them, because I never have...loved anyone else.

See the predicament I'm in here? 😀
Wow that was so much more then I wanted to write initially, but all I basically wanted to say is that I know how you feel/felt and I'm sure you'll find someone worthy of you, it does sound like you're better off now!

as for the thread, I have an issue, not mentio^.^' I am wondering wether I should change my haircolour to rubyred and I just wanted some unbiased opinions ^.^'

first a fairly recent pic of me and my natural haircolour:its taken with my webcam so excuse the bad quality

A pic of the coulour I want, its red, but not really willowy red: check it out

I know its unclear I screencapped it from a music video from a Belgian artist called Kate Ryan, you'll probably get a much better idea from actually watching the video at youtube (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5D_X9SFc5Tg). She has multiple wigs on in the video, the colour I want comes near the end of the song when she's in and around the old car. at abt 2:35 min, if you don't want to listen to the whole song that is B)

 

[Immortal_Slayer]

Maybe you should talk to him he might have something on his mind, or if he's not the chat about his feelings type maybe it's because he's not sure how to express how he feels about you because he's never felt like that before and he's just as scared of losing you but doesn't know how to change.
Don't change who you are to be with him, you can't truely be happy that way :: teeth :

 

[Raiys]

I've talked to him a gazillion times, thats not the issue... He said that some days his feelings for me are the same as they always were, but some days he doesn't care for me at all, his words, not mine :s

And I only change for the better, things that will make me a better person, like stop being jealous and try to support him in everything he does, things like that