Got a Problem/Issue? Need Advice?

some days he doesn't care for you at all?? He said that?

wtf? Like hes in a part time relationship?

And he expects you to be a "Full time" suppportive girlfriend, never be jealous and upset at the fact that he can just turn his love off for you whenever he feels like?

That cant be right. esp after three years? Love like this should always be flowing. He either has to love you or not. Did he tell you about the times he "doesnt care for you at all?" is it something thats happening with you or with him?
 
Basically thats what he said, but he said it in Dutch so the exact nuance is hard to portray. Its not that he doesn't care and he's never mean or crude, sometimes I don't even notice when he's having a 'off' day, but it keeps me wondering at all times... He know that its wrong and unfair and all that, but he says he's too selfish to end it because he would miss me (He knows thats wrong too)and he doesn't want to lose me. And I just keep waiting for something to change, but its been a year now...

There's nothing I can do because he says its not me. He very well realizes he's the problem, but there doesn't seem to be any incentive for him to change. I know I'll probably be better off with someone else, but I'm still clinging to a glimmer of hope brought on by the days when everything is fine, and its not like the days that he doesn't seem to love me outnumber the ones that he does.

I know... I'm stubborn and naive, I know what I should do, but I'm still not sure its what I want to do
 
A
alexa
*comfort*
Ok he doesnt want to break up with you because he will miss you.

You want him to change. And you know what kinda man he can be because he use to be good.

Maybe you should let him know that if he doesnt make an effort to change, then you will leave him. Because a year is a long time to wait around to see if he will love you better.

I think you saying you will leave is a great incentive for him to change.
 
I
Immortal_Slayer
The guy needs a kick to realise how his world feels when your in it,maybe the thought of losing you is the kick he needs
Yeah it's easy for us to look objectively and know what the best thing to do is. It's so much harder when it's you, and you're the one left with feeling crappy... but the crappyness does pass... eventually. I hope you find the strength soon to honor yourself first hun. Maybe when you do that, everyone else will follow.
 
Thanks everyone, for your kindness!

I hate giving ultimatums, but I realize that now its the only way left to go. I guess I just needed a little push (or a lot of them ^.^') to actually do it, yesterday I kinda got him so far to tell me he would try to change, but I think I was still too nice about it so next time I feel underappreciated I will tell him whats the what *feels confident...for now* 🙂

sooo, noone has an opinion about my more common issue huh 😉 ok I'll leave my hair the way it is then
 
Oh yeah, you're hair looks nice now 😛 But I think you could easily do a natural reddy colour.
 
Oh yeah lol i was meaning to answer that in my post then forgot, your hair now is lovely and i think you'd suit the reddy colour also.
Doesn't help i know lol but both work!
 
lol thanks everyone!

I might just flip a coin or maybe use one of those colouring shampoos that wash right out after a couple of showers, just to try it and see what my environment thinks 🙂

merci!
 
Just keep in mind Raiys that red has a tendancy to dull quickly. But it would definately look pretty! 😀

My problem....after feeling incredibly flat and unmotivated for long I came to the conclusion I need something to strive for. And it came to me last night...the European trip I've been wanting to do ever since I got back from the New Zealand trip I did after I finished uni.

I have to do this! I'll wither and die if I don't do it while I'm still young (yes, gross exaggeration but what the hey).

Initial plan is up. Wanna go probably March-April next year, I'm hoping to scrimp and save to be able to stay over there for about 3-4 weeks. I'm just not sure where to start. I either want to start in London and travel down through to Greece or the other way around. Or even a loop starting at one or the other.

Probably will be going solo so I need a plan...or at least a general direction.

Anyone ever done this before? Or got any ideas?
 
Well, i left sydney around Feb...planning to go overseas for about a month, to be back in time for uni on March the 1st. But here i am, still in Qatar, loving the country and the friends i made, looking for a job! My initial plan was I would come to Qatar, go to London then go back home. But now im going to go check out Egypt, Turkey, Jordan and Bahrain. Maybe later travel up to Italy, France, Germany, Spain and Morocco.

its awesome, and it will really change your life. Def, whats your degree in? Also, London will drain most of your money. I spent more money in London, in one week, then i did when i stayed in Qatar for 3 weeks.
 
mogwaid, I did a 2 for 1 deal (so I like to call it anyway 😀) business and arts with majors in human resource management and sociology. Took me 4 long years which is why I did NZ as soon as I was finished...best 2 and a bit weeks of my life!

The UK part is definately worrying me but I want to go though Ireland and Scotland as well so I hopefully won't be in the major centres for long. I have a friend who has been working in London for the past couple of years and she's said that you basically lose money as quickly as you earn it.

I don't know why but Greece has always been a place I want to go so that's on my list...so everything along the way would be great. Wondering at the moment what sort of legal, quick cash I can pick up along the way to keep the money going.
 
If you get a TEFL English teaching Certificate (do it online within a month) you can teach in countries and make ALOT of money. Sometimes tax free. Like people here, are making AU$4000 a month (no tax, free housing, car and bills paid) teaching, and its not even long hours.

I wanted to update on my situation:

That guy that i like, we went out on a date kinda thing, but i dont know if im the type of girl he likes. I kinda did a bit of snooping, and found out that he hangs out with party type girls (which im so not). So how do i know he's just doing this because he's sick of those type of girls and wants someone different, or if hes just hoping to get lucky?
 
London is very expensive especialy in the center where everythings going on,it cost £10 to go to the cinema for one person :buble_eye normaly about £5 everywhere else.

and mogwaid i think if the guys just after one thing you'll be able to tell soon enough, i suggest you go out with him some more and see if he's the right kinda guy for you. 🙂
 
mogwaid, I'd agree with Immortal_Slayer...if you do really like him you should see him a bit more to see whether or not there's a hidden agenda....maybe it's not so much that he's after a change or trying to get lucky but he could just really like how you are as a person 😀

Good luck! :hug:
 
I have a tendancy to blow minor problems way out of proportion and turn the tiniest comment into an hour long fight that usually ends in me crying because I realize how stupid I am. This happens a lot between me and Mike, and I hate fighting with him. I know its slowly pushing him away, and I think that is why I subconsciously do it, to run away, and he knows this, he's the one that told me I was doing it. I don't know how to get over this. Any suggestions? I don't want to lose him.
 
freakydorky, I think I kinda do the same thing but it's more that I pick little fights or at least say things that I think will pick fights and it's not because I don't love him but it's just that a lot of the time I think he can do better but that's my own personal turmoil that I'm working with.

I don't know if I'm a good person to suggest anything but maybe what you could do is just before you let something get to you just step back and think about what he's really saying. Not what you think he's saying but the actual words that are coming out of his mouth.

My boy tells me often enough that I need to stop overthinking. It's good advice. Good luck with it all :hug:
 
So yeah, I'm like torn between a) staying home tonight and writing on a manuscript for a novel contest that according to my personal deadline should be already finished and postmarked or b) going to this allegedly great radio party some good friends (from said college radio station) invited me at some night club not that far away from where I live.
Of course, should I decide to party, no writing and half the morning of tomorrow completely wasted (pun intented!).
Though then again, I have no self control whatsoever and I think I know the answer to this already.
 
definition of insane
definition of insane
lol...Party?
freakydorky said:
I have a tendancy to blow minor problems way out of proportion and turn the tiniest comment into an hour long fight that usually ends in me crying because I realize how stupid I am. This happens a lot between me and Mike, and I hate fighting with him. I know its slowly pushing him away, and I think that is why I subconsciously do it, to run away, and he knows this, he's the one that told me I was doing it. I don't know how to get over this. Any suggestions? I don't want to lose him.
Click to expand...

omg, did he find out about us!

wait no, i shouldnt joke, this is serious. i have been in a relationship sorta like this, obviously what i did.. didnt work out.. so maybe TRY and not stress over the little things in life... i mean its natural to argue ... and fight but not all the time.. and you shouldnt over little things, but at least you realise you know its wrong, thats whats important.. but dont change who you are.. just try and change the communication between you...

none of that made sense to you but it did to me LOL.
 
Light hearted advice needed...

Do I want to go to Albania?

Pros: pretty, slightly Meditterian, slightly mediveal, could do it in a day if I was feeling rushed.
Cons: possibility of being blown up by land mines near to the Kosovo border

I think I'm gonna do one or two of these a week....try and get through all the countries 😀

So, should I go to Albania?
 
Go to as many places as you can while your still young!

advice: Dont go to the border if you're scared of land mines. 😛 I think most touristy areas will be land mine free.
 
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