Grrrrr.... arrrrg....

E

elmo

Anyone here speak Whale?!
Joined
Sep 26, 2003
Messages
2,652
Age
42
Location
2nd star 2 the right
Sorry to bother you guys but i am sooo mad and i need to get this off my chest so here goes...

My boyfriend doesn't trust me!

I was on night out with a load of my friends and my friend Gemma introduced us all to her friend, Ian from Shetland.

Anyway, the club closed and when I came out my friends were nowhere to be seen, the only person who was there was Ian! I phoned round everyone but noone was answering their mobiles so Ian said he would walk me to a taxi! So we're walking down the street and I looked across the road to see my boyfriend standing watching me (He'd been out with his friends). So i said goodbye to Ian and crossed the road to go get him. When I got to him he looked at me angrily and walked off! 🙁

I followed him and when i caught up with him we had a big argument and he tried to tell me that he's not jealous! We haven't spoken about it since and it's really bugging me! I don't think he trusts me although i've told him that he has nothing to worry about!

I feel so trapped! I don't feel comfortable talking to any men incase he gets the wrong idea and i lose him! I hate this and i don't know what to do! 🙁

Ok... rant over...

has anyone got any sound advice for me?
 
First, wait a bit that he & u calm down.
Then, try to have a talk with him. I know it's not the best idea ever, but I don't see other way for u to do.
U can just try to convince him that u really love him but it's not for this reason that u must live only by him & for him !!!
I mean, u'r allow to live a life when he isn't here yes or no ???

U have to put some conditions to go on ur relationship with him I think. OK, it's kinda normal that he is be jealous, it means he loves u, but he had to learn to control his feeling.
I think u could tell him that if he doesn't trust u enough, so what does he expect from ur relationship in the future ?

Ok, I donno if I give good advises & I totally know that it's easier to tell than to do, but I hope it helps somehow.

Give us news bout what's going on ok ? :-D
 
Thanks for that...

I am allowed a life when he isn't there or at least i should hope so... we've been going out for 10 months! I think you do give some good advice and i'll definately calm down before i speak to him! The problem will be bringing it up! I'm no good a that! I hate arguements.

Thankyou for your help! 🙂 I'll let you know!
 
If I thought that he would just listen to what i have to say then i would just tell him but i know there's gonna be an argument! I hate this! How can i avoid an argument? Is there an easy way of telling him how i feel?
 
Confrontation is never a good thing but talking to him will help. If he gets jealous (even though he says he doesn't) because you talk to a guy it will drive you insane! And it puts a lot of pressure on you to try and do what he wants...........it should be about what you want to do and you shouldn't get cussed cause you talk to another human being!

Its very hard but you should tell him as it will eat you up inside until something will happen and it will all come flooding out and that is NEVER good.
 
I hear ya! I always seem to let things brew up and explode in a burst of tears and anger! I can't help it! I think it's just because i don't like confrontation!

You're right though... i should talk to him about it! I just need to get some guts first and find the right words! I think that if a can explain it right then he'll understand!
 
No no no. First you tranq his drink so he succumbs to unconciousness. Then you tie him up and force him to listen to you. If that doesn't work, drug him again and do a sexy dance for him. He'll be all yours. When he wakes up and asks you 'what the hell happened?' simply tell him he came over to apoligize but must of been really tired cause he feel asleep, and whatever he remembers claim it must have been a dream.

Sounds like it might work.

Or you could listen to the others.... (ya right). lol.
 
Originally posted by *Lost Angel*
Tell him the whole story....and after kiss him and tell him you love him lol
Click to expand...

I do agree with LA on this one. Talking/communicating is always important. If you truly cares he will listen to what you have to say and let you finish. You should convey to him that you luv him and that he is most important to you.

Don't let him make you feel guilty about something you never did. I don't know your relationship and what you both have agreed upon, but in my opinion, he should trust you. People who love eachother trust eachother. As long as you have not broken this trust bond before, I should see no reason as to why he does not.
 
Honestly, he should be grateful that you have friends willing to walk you to a taxi late at night, no matter what sex they are!
Would your boyfriend rather let you wander around drunk and alone when you come out of a club?
 
Originally posted by LazyDolphin
Honestly, he should be grateful that you have friends willing to walk you to a taxi late at night, no matter what sex they are!
Would your boyfriend rather let you wander around drunk and alone when you come out of a club?
Click to expand...

That's what i told him! (Not to mention the fact that he walked away and left me alone in the street too) Then he went on about how he was coming to get me and i should have stayed put! I then said that, if that was the case, he should have called me to let me know he was coming for me otherwise, how would i know? I'm not a mind reader! But thanks for that LazyDolphin, you're too right!

Thanks everyone for your sound advice! I'm slowly plucking up the courage! Thanks *LostAngel* and Chasity, I will bear that in mind! I have never done anything to hurt him before! I'm a very loyal and loving girlfriend! I'm just surprised that he doesn't know that yet! So I will explain to him (guilt free) and tell him that i love him very much!

You're a funny guy Xand! I think yours might work best of all! And if it doesn't, I'll have fun trying... lol. Thankyou, you really cheered me up with that one!

This might take me a few days to get the guts to say something, so please bear with me! I will let you all know what happens!

::wave::
 
Hey guys, i got the guts! I spoke to him last night...

It didn't go as well as i hoped it would! He was sympathetic at first...

He still didn't admit that he's jealous and told me, in the end, that i didn't have a proper reason to start an argument! 🙁 I told him that i didn't want to argue and that i just feel like he doesn't trust me!

In the end, we made a deal that if we love each other then we'll try to make space for each other! He says that he'll try not to seem jealous(still not admitting it) so long as i make sure that i stay faithful to him! (that's easy... i love him!) 🙂

I'm not sure if this one will work though! It just seems like it's gonna go straight back to the way it was before! He hasn't even admitted that he doesn't trust me! He also hasn't said that he does trust me!

I'll wait and see what happens!
 
Well I think you did the right thing by talking to him. But I don't see why he got upset at you. I have allot of friends who are guys and girls. And I know I wouldn't want my boyfriend to get mad at me for hanging out with one of them. I mean, if he hung out with girls I wouldn't care, cause I would trust him. The only way I wouldn't trust him is if he actually broke that trust.

I think he should have been more worried about you being out alone at night, rather than if a guy was just walking with you. But please do let us know what happens. I hope everything goes well. 😀
 
Finally...

Right, It's sorted! I let myself worry for weeks about whether he trusted me and even loved me at all! Finally i spoke to him about it again! This time there were a lot more tears! I told him how trapped i felt and that all i really needed to know is if he trusted me or not! This is what he said...

"I trust you 110% and this if i make you feel trapped i don't mean to! I just don't trust other guys! I was drunk and didn't really think about it when i stormed off! What went through my head, i don't remember! What really pissed me off was the fact that he could've been thinking about you in that way! I don't like that! A girlfriend has cheated on me in the past and i find it hard to trust people! But i trust you with all my heart!"

I told him that he need not worry about trusting other guys because i'm not stupid enough to talk to random people when i'm drunk! The only reason i was with Ian was because my friend has known him for years! I trust her judgement that he is a good man! I asked Mike if he would have some faith in me and trust my judgement as well as my loyalty! ::huh::

He promised that he would try, in future, and do that! I feel soooo much better now! 🙂

I went out yesterday and bought him a card and some chocolates for understanding me and hearing me out!

I love him!!!! ::love::

PS: Thankyou all, once again, for helping and supporting me! U R ALL STARS!!!! :: tu ::
 
You must log in or register to reply here.
Back
Top Bottom