Guilty as charged

[Angels baby101]

Have you ever felt like really guilty over something? Like you got straight A's for the first time in school and you parents promised you a night out for your achievements that weekend but like your aunt called and needed to borrow money for something like food... and then your parents told you they couldn't keep there promise? Well i feel majorly guilty because i'm selfish but i can't help it.... i mean not really

Ok My sweet 16 is On August 2nd and we had planned on going to Ohio to spend it with family we hadn't seen in years... we've been planning since like my 15th birthday and everthing was set we have Money.. and we have a checklist and we planned on staying with my Aunt cause she has a room for me that she made when i was a kid... anyways she could never turn me down or my mom and she is totally siked to see us and have us well My birthday is now officailly like a week away well the party anyways we're going to have it on the 31st cause its saturday and no one works anyways we just found out that my Aunts mom just had a stroke and she took all next week off to be with her and she might have to be with her for longer... So i'm totally upset because my birthday plans are being majorly screwed up and i've been crying all morning cause its the one thing i' wanted for my birthday and i might get it.... and now i've calmed down and feel really guilty cause i'm upset my birthday wont happen and yet my aunt's mother might not live on the count of her stroke...But i'm more worried about my birthday... :sneakout:

Ever feel like that?

 

[Jenny]

and now i've calmed down and feel really guilty cause i'm upset my birthday wont happen and yet my aunt's mother might not live on the count of her stroke...But i'm more worried about my birthday... :sneakout:

Sweets, it's perfectly ok that you had that kind of reaction. Birthdays should be a big deal for you, for everyone. It's a very special day. And you've been planning a sweet sixteen (which is a huge milestone birthday) for almost a year now.

It's very clear that you feel badly for you aunt's mom but it's perfectly okay to be upset that your birthday may be ruined.

To make you feel better, here's a quick little story. I was turning 29 on Sept 7th of last year. My sis was pregnant..and she's my younger sis (by 19 months) and everyone had been oohing and ahhhing because she was having the first grandchild.

Well Sydney (my niece) was born September 1st. And EVERYTHING was all about her..my birthday got shoved by the wayside and everyone was all about making things easier for my sis. I was so upset..I didn't get taken out at all for my birthday...it was a complete afterthought for my parents and even my hubby.

Now after I got over it a little I felt so silly and guilty that I, a 29 year old woman, was jealous of a baby whom I LOVE. Guess it was a combo of me getting older...me not having the first grandchild...all the attention she was getting, and me getting none.

So you are not alone by anymeans....everyone does little things like that or has feelings of anger/jealousy. It's human nature.

That being said, I hope you have a great birthday, I really hope your aunt's mom is okay and I'm sure your day will be special no matter what. You're turning 16!!! It's a wonderful thing! 🙂

 

[momentary_grace]

I've also felt like that many times... perhaps for smaller things however. One horrible, horrible time was when a friend wanted me to go with her to this thing (a competition or something) that I absolutely did not want to go to (it was so boring, so long, etc.), and I was honestly trying to find a way out of it. When I phoned her up, she was really upset and I asked her why, and she told me her grandfather had just died of cancer. I was sad for her, consoled her, etc., and then hung up. What surprised me then was is that I was actually relieved that I didn't have to go and I was 'off the hook'. I was totally shocked at how horrible I was! I felt and still feel like such a witch for thinking that!

 

[ana8]

I feel like this most of the time..But I accepted the fact I'm selfish lil ***** and try not to think bout it..As simple as that🙂

 

[BillieHunter]

Don't worry about it...everyone has thoughts like that from time to time....It's ok to be a little selfish sometimes...you feel guolty about it...but its normal...

 

[killerdwarf]

You're not some kind of monster or anything like that at all! You have a legitimate reason to feel bad, and to make it worse, it was completely out of anyone's control to stop the bad thing from happening. I think that may be why you feel bad about the loss of the b-day celebrations...you had no control over the events leading ot the cancellation, and that helplessness is translated into the feelings you are having. Perfectly legit. I have great hope for anyone who actually admits they feel guilt for having angry thoughts once they calm down. That fact shows that you are going to be the kind of person we all should be...compassionate and thoughtful. There is no shame in being upset about your loss! The real test is what you feel for the person who "caused" it...and you passed! You know it's not her fault, and you feel bad that she is ill. I hope your birthday turns out to be a happy one, even if it's not what you expected...even so, you're gonna be all right! 😉

Does this help? :bday: :cake:

If not, maybe OM will send you a cake or two...

Happy birthday! (when it comes)

 

[Rayne]

YOU'RE ALL SELFISH JERKS!

Did that make anyone feel better? Well, then STOP BEING SO HARD ON YOURSELVES!
We've ALL done things like this. You're just human. We're foul-able creatures all of us. Leave the perfection to angelic creatures...unless they're named Lucifer...then don't trust him...he's bad news...Anyway, Killerdwarf and Jenny put it beautifully. Listen to them. They know stuff. 😉

BTW Killerdwarf...STOP writing so many good posts...I keep trying to praise you with Karma and it keeps telling me I can only give ya so much! Old Master just explained to me how this works and now I'm Karma happy...I'm like a freggin' ADDICT!

 

[Angels baby101]

Well i still feel guilty even though i did go to ohio for my sweet 16th and had an awesome time with my family my aunt didn't show up her mom died and i was ticked off about it then calmed down and cried for her but i was still pretty D@mned upset about it...

 

[Jenny]

It's sad about your aunt's mom...but this made me happy...

i did go to ohio for my sweet 16th and had an awesome time with my family

You had a great birthday anways...even with the sadness. I'm glad you had fun sweetie!

 

[No Angel]

People are selfish. It's human nature. It's the unselfish ones that are hard to find.

 

[killerdwarf]

People are selfish. It's human nature. It's the unselfish ones that are hard to find.

You are so right. That's why when you do find them, you should support them whenever you can, and keep them in your life...

angels baby: Glad your sweet 16 went well, and sorry for the heartache.

Rayne: Sorry about the good post thing...How's about I go start another shallow "Which Buffy" thread over in the SMG forum...I won't be getting karma for that one, for sure!😉

 

[Rayne]

Rayne: Sorry about the good post thing...How's about I go start another shallow "Which Buffy" thread over in the SMG forum...I won't be getting karma for that one, for sure!😉

LMAO! It's worth a try...but I have a feeling that you would find a way to make it karma worthy just because you're you...you can't help but make things interesting.