Help! Adult content! Please be mature!!

Glorificuz

Just because
Joined
Apr 17, 2005
Messages
7
Alright, this is kind of hard for me to say, since I've never said it out loud. Ok, here it goes..... Alright, I think that I might be gay, but I don't know how to tell my parents. Could I please have your opinions? And maybe people who have gone through the same thing? Thanks a bunch, I just had to get it off of my chest!! Thanks for reading this!


(P.S- And if this is in the wrong place, then feel free to move it!!)
 
What is it that makes you think that? If you are going through the hormonal trauma that is adolesence, it is a perfectly natural question to ask of oneself.

Sexuality, in my experience, is never black and white, especially when you are younger, and runs along a continuum from totally gay to totally straight - with most of us falling somewhere in between...

I'm not going to bang the drum for either end of that spectrum but I would say that you should always endeavour to be yourself and feel happy with your choices...
 
J
Jaded
fabulously clear and simple analogy, points for expression as well as content! :)
Well if you're saying you think you might be gay its obvious your not sure of it at the moment. I agree with pointy sexuallity isn't black and white especially during adolecence, I shouldn't talk lol I'll be 18 in a few weeks so I'm still on the hormonal side. Which is why I myself havn't yet told most of my family, but I know I'm gay, I made that choice a long time ago.

I don't know how old you are but assuming your still quite young but I think you should explore a bit more before you make such a big step. I don't mean that kind of exploring! 😛 lol Just make sure you know yourself that you are gay before you tell your family+friends.
 
Well, I think that my choice of words there were wrong! :banghead: I actually do know that I am gay, I have actually thought that I have been for a couple of years now, but I finally realized it. I really appreciate both of your guy's support, and Feigenbaum's also!! I'm just not sure really how to approach the next step, or even really what exactly to tell my parents.... *sigh* All of it is so confusing and a little bit scary!! :: wacko2
 
I know I'm gay, I made that choice a long time ago.
Choice really? I've always thought it wasn't one. I guess it's different for everybody then, lol

Glorificuz, you have your whole life in front of you you know. I mean, I'm not telling you not to tell it but take your time, it's not like there is a deadline or something. Maybe wait to be in a relationship with someone who will help you if you find it hard to tell to your family.
Friends on the other hand, if they are great friends & if you feel you can trust them then go for it, they will react well most of time, & even better than you would think. & later on you'll laugh together with them about your fear of telling them. Plus, if they are close friends they might have guessed already, or they might think you're weird because you're not interested in boys nor speak about how hot someone is... 😛 ... therefore when you will tell them they'll be reassured because they'll see that you're "normal" after all, you can find someone hot or whatever, lol 😀
 
Gay is yay! Let's celebrate!
Pointy, Pyro and Frenchy have made some very good points. Adolescence is practically synonymous with confusion. I agree that sexuality is never black/white when you're young, I myself have been postergirl for the sexually ambiguous.
Don't stress about "finding out" or deciding what you are because there's no time limit on how much time you can spend trying to find out who you really are. Doesn't matter if you find yourself tomorrow or in ten years, as long as you are happy with what you find.
 
Frenchy Faith said:
Choice really? I've always thought it wasn't one. I guess it's different for everybody then, lol

lol sorry I supose I wouldn't say choice then just acceptance. I don't really know how to explain it but I suppose when I was younger I always thought it was just a phase and that it would go away, seeing other girls around me dating boys made me feel like what I felt was 'wrong'. So I guess it was less a choice and more of a realisation that it's not a bad thing and just natural and I can't exactly change myself 😛.
 
I see it this way: It's a choice when it comes to chose between being true to yourself and living a lie. You can chose to live in totall denyal and date/marry a guy even if you feel super gay, I don't know if that makes you less gay but... Still living a lie.
 
Everyone has good points and should take all that into consideration....it seems that you want to tell your parents. It's really hard to be completely certain about sexuality. It's funny yet extremely frustrating.

You don't say why you're worried about telling your parents, so, might help knowing why, but....pretty much, you just have to come to peace with yourself, let you be you, even if you don't say anything to anyone around. Just think of everything and relax and just,...get used to it fully?
Once you get a sort of confidence about it, it's easier, the rest of the stuff. Not that it's easy at all, even if you know for sure that parents or friends will be ok with it. It's scary because there's still that chance, because you aren't what you thought you were, and you might not be what you're expected anymore.

Next steps vary for everyone, just try to go with the flow of life, it all works out eventually, though if you feel the need to say for some reason, just, try to gauge their opinions on it, bring up all the samesex marriage articles or something, just, hint maybe? eh, it's what I was doing. I just need the guts to tell my parents, who, already know, and already like my girlfriend, they just aren't officially in the know. I'm just...scared of the questions.

It's different for every person, but..it does help to talk about it, or write about it. I'm a good listener if you'd like, I'm not so great with the advice but...it'll all work out in the end...It kinda has to. 🙂
 
pyro said:
lol sorry I supose I wouldn't say choice then just acceptance.

doppel said:
I see it this way: It's a choice when it comes to chose between being true to yourself and living a lie.
Yeah, I totally agree with you both on that point!


faiths5x5 said:
you just have to come to peace with yourself, let you be you, even if you don't say anything to anyone around. Just think of everything and relax and just,...get used to it fully?
So greatly said! :happy30: :thumbs_up
 
telling your friends (providing you trust them of course) is a good idea in my opinion. i told my friends i was bi and they didnt bother in the slightest. that way you have at least got it off your chest in the least scary way.

🙂
 
Well, some people say there's no rush in telling... And of course they're totally right.. But as long as they don't know, you'll be feeling like you're keeping this huge secret from them, you'll feel like you're lying whether you have to actually tell lies or not... And that is not a very pleasent feeling (at least I didn't like it too much). It's almost always hard to tell someone.. I mean I knew it wouldn't bother my parents at all, I still actually never told them (they just found out anyway, or guessed, or something).
The "coming out" thing was never that hard for me, since no one reacted in a bad way, and I never even had to tell anyone, really... But I still can't talk about these things with my parents, and I still feel silly talking about my girlfriend and stuff.. Even though I know they don't think it's weird at all.. It's just me being silly...

Hm, so you haven't told anyone? Do you know how they will react and what they think about "these things"? And what are your biggest worries and so on...?
 
J
Jill_Valentine
As always, perfect.
Thanks again everybody for sharing, and supporting me!! It just feels so great to get it off of my chest, and have it out in the open!! Well, eponinethen, I don't even know WHY I'm afraid to tell my parents. Because, it's not like they are against gay people. And the weirdest part is, they have always supported me with everything that I have done, and I'm like 90% sure that they would support me with this also. So, I just think that I'm going to come out and say it, but I'm going to hint around a little, like you said Faith5*5, I think I'm going to hint around a little with gay marriages and so forth. Plus, like many of you have said, I think that I'm just going to get comfortable with it, and maybe even date around a little, who knows! But, you guys have NO IDEA how much it means to me that you are all just so kind, caring, and supportive!! Thanks again!!!
 
any time, and it could help, could get you more comfy too, the hinting around.

need anything else, you know where to find me/us. 😉 I have that too, sort of with the parents, I'm not...They'll be ok, and all supportive and know and all, just...I can't say yet?..might be because I'm not concrete but....eh...it all works out in the end. 🙂
 
Speaking from my experience of when my brother announced that he was gay a couple years ago.... (he was twenty then, so a little past the adolescent stage, but still kind of in it). My family and I were totally shocked, this was the boy who had tons of girlfriends in school (although he never stayed with one, which is explained now). It was something that everyone really needed to adjust to. So, be prepared for that. But, in time, most likely everyone will probably adjust to it, and next thing you know, you're family is setting you up with people that they think are good for you.

It will be rough, but every thing will probably work out. My husband and I needed to decide if we were going to expose our children to it, and that was a big decision to make. We decided that we weren't going to say anything, and when they brought the questions themselves, then we would talk about it.
 
Glorificuz said:
Well, eponinethen, I don't even know WHY I'm afraid to tell my parents. Because, it's not like they are against gay people. And the weirdest part is, they have always supported me with everything that I have done, and I'm like 90% sure that they would support me with this also.
That's pretty much exactly what my situation was like.. Except I was like 99.9% sure they would totally support me. (And really, that 0.1% was just being silly 'cause I really knew.)
Anyway I wish you all the luck hun, I'm sure it'll go perfectly good and they'll be as supportive as they possibly can, I really hope so.
 
It sounds like you've got some great parents that will most likely support you. I know that I'm one of the lucky ones that didn't get kicked out or left on their own because of it. But oh, the stories I could tell you of my coming out mishaps! I simply had the worst decision-making skills. Not to scare you or anything, (because I was probably just a "coming-out-klutz" or something,) but I just chose the most inappropriate times, when I in fact thought to myself: "aha! an opportunity!"

I'll just let you in on one of my dumb stories. So I was talking to a friend whom I've known since high school and she said something like, "..that was so gay!" (And not in an negative way, mind you, but that's a whole other topic.) And now insert the "AHA!" thought, and I began, "Oh, by the way..."

The end!

Oh, and if you haven't already come out to anyone, let me tell you this: for me, it had a kind of snowball effect on me. (I'm not sure that's the correct term..but I'll go with it.) Once I told one person, and then the next, it kind of got addicting! But I finally came to my senses when I was talking to my cousin and he told me that I didn't have to tell EVERYONE in sight. Which in my situation is true. Oops. I think sharing time for me is over!
 
Well, I told my parents today that I was gay, and I guess I was wrong about them being supportive. They kicked me out of the house, and right now I'm staying at my aunt's house, who must be the only sane, and "love you no matter what" person in my family. I just hate it, because they told me how dissapointed they were in me, and just some other crap.... I don't know what to do now.... :bluesad:
 
They might come around in time. It might be kind of shocking to them, and even if they're good friends with gay ppl, it's...different with it being your kid...did you ever watch, I believe it was The truth About Jane, with Ellen Muth (george from the reaper show?) might help a little?
Just relax and let people mull this over, let it settle in their minds and try to talk to them calmly and reasonably about it when you can, talk to your aunt, see if maybe she can help, or if worst comes to worst, you have a place to stay.
Hopefully they'll come around, and realize that its real and important and that you're their daughter.
It might just be the shock of it that caused them to react, its wrong and I disagree with it, but, maybe in a day or two after they have time to think it over and calm down, things will get better....

I hope they come around for you, and if you need anything, I'm here. I wish I could help more.
 
Glorificuz said:
Well, I told my parents today that I was gay, and I guess I was wrong about them being supportive. They kicked me out of the house, and right now I'm staying at my aunt's house, who must be the only sane, and "love you no matter what" person in my family. I just hate it, because they told me how dissapointed they were in me, and just some other crap.... I don't know what to do now.... :bluesad:
Wow are you serious? God I'm so sorry for you hun, can't believe they did that..! Um, how are you feeling...? Stupid question, I know, but still....
 
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