Help?

[Willow02]

Ok I'm kind of in a predicament at the moment with a friend. Not so much my problem as it is hers but I'm kind of at a loss for what to say to her. She was pretty much shot down by her crush today and she thinks it was because of his friend, who also likes him. So being as this is going to be hard enough to explain I'm gonna give some random names for them. So my friend - Tiffany, girl who likes her crush or ex crush - Brittany.

Ok so anyway Tiffany is kind of a very dramatic person, the type who blows things up, and well her and Brittany are kind of going at it, verbally, and Brittany told Tiffany that she is dramatic and she takes things way to seriously. Which I see when it comes to certain things. Its never really happened with me and her though, because I've known her for so long and I know how she is so I watch what I say around her. I wanna be the good friend and back her and everything but I don't want to get tangled into this web of drama. She sent me an e-mail with the conversation she had with the girl and she said to Brittany that she might 'do something' if she sees the girl at school (Brittany does independent studies and she comes to the high school like once a week to see everyone) Now I don't know if her 'do something' is something really stupid that she's going to regret and going to get in major trouble for, or she was just blowing hot air. I'm honestly at the end of my rope of not knowing.

I find it kind of stupid that this is all over some guy, I've never been on to fight over a guy so I wouldn't know. But with every passing conversation with her I'm finding it harder and harder not to say something, but I know if I do I'm going to get a big slap in the face, not literally, but still. It seems little by little her friends are abandoning her, and I don't wanna leave her alone in this, I have a feeling she might do something to her self if I do. She was cutting herself a while back and I was really scared for her then and I don't want her to go back to it, or something worse. And yeah she's already seeing someone about depression, but I get the feeling it might not working.

Sorry for the long read, just really looking for some advice. So any words of wisdom?

 

[Jenny]

Wow hon...that's ALOT of pressure you've been put under there. For what seems to be nothing really (a crush..I know it's not really 'nothing' ... but in the big scheme of things.....).

I think this sentence is key on...

I wanna be the good friend and back her and everything but I don't want to get tangled into this web of drama.

I guess my words of wisdom (or non-wisdom as they may be) 😉 are to just support her to the best of your ability. But you can't live your own life in fear of your actions sending her on a downward spiral and possibly hurting herself (you know?). Because then that's not fair to you. Or her.

Oh and as for the 'do something' threat...it sounds to me like she was just talking...can't say for sure of course but that's how it sounded to me. Have you broached the subject with her maybe? Just feel her out and see what she was thinking at the time?

Also - do her parents know about the cutting? It's just worrisome and it generally is an attention thing and I was just wondering if they knew or not. I'm glad she's getting some sort of help though. It's a strong person who admits they need help.

Sorry I'm not of more help...but if you ever need to vent...I'm here! 🙂

 

[Willow02]

Thanks Jenny 🙂 Yeah its just sometimes really stressful with her and I try to be there for her as much as I can but sometimes its not as easy as it sounds. I'm not sure. She had a doctors appointment a while back to get a shot and the doctor saw the marks but she just said it was the cat that got her so i'm not sure if the doctor said something or not. And from what I see her mom pays attention, her dads gone, but from the way she makes it sound her mom only makes her do things she doesn't want to, like chores or something, but we're teenagers, what teenager does like chores.

 

[Faldor]

dont worry about her cutting herself, if your worried your best bet is to make sure she knows what she's doing and dosent cut in the wrong place or too deep.

loads of kids do it and most just grow out of it.

just saying "no dont do that it... silly" dosent get a reaction.