How do I handle a potentially UNPLEASANT Mother's Day lunch?

[Anyanka Bunny Slayer]

Situation: My brother (who I'm fond of) and step-father (whom I despise) have arranged a lovely celebration for mum on Mother's Day. Naturally, she wants ALL of her children there, and since we're all within 40 miles of each other, its not really a problem.

However, the restaurant this will be held at is extraordinarily expensive. I mean, really, really over the top. The problem is, there is NO WAY I can afford it. My brother said I should eat before I go, and just have coffee when I get there. That seems ridiculous to me, and I'd prefer to just NOT go. Unfortunately, I'm the oldest, and mum is INSISTING that we all be there...she's getting old, and she loves having her children gathered around her (we don't!).

So, any suggestions on how to bow out gracefully? My family can be like a...cult sometimes. (Last year, when I declined to go, mum told my sister that I could just KEEP the gift I'd bought for her)

 

[nightshade]

Say you're going, then fake illness?

 

[Anyanka Bunny Slayer]

I HAD thought of a visit to the ER for a migraine...

 

[Taake]

I feel like the answer is glaringly obvious... go into the water. Wait for the sharks.

I mean just like a foot or something! Not for them to eat you up entirely!

Otherwise, hm, family can be tricky cause they know all your tricks. Any chance of pretending to be out of town for that date?

 

[Anyanka Bunny Slayer]

Unfortunately, no. And you're SO right about family knowing our tricks. Plus, my uncle and sister live next door.

 

[BuffyBot22]

I second just pretend you are sick, can't fault a sick person.

But, if you just hate your step dad and love your mom who is getting old, maybe you should go and just eat soup or salad.

I can't stand my dad's wife, but I wouldn't miss out on time with him because he is great. (Just some extra most likely unwanted advice lol)

 

[DeadlyDuo]

Could you maybe just have an appetiser for your meal? They're normally cheaper.

Either that or get drunk and fall down the stairs without breaking your neck.

New plan: As you're getting ready to "go" to the meal, fall down the stairs then call your sister on the mobile that you conveniently had with you. Tell her what you did and how much "pain" you're in. You've got two choices: Either let her take you to the ER and tell her you're fine to wait on your own as you don't want her missing the mother's day meal or say that you should be fine if you stay still and thus are unable to go to the meal. Either way, you then face time your mother on your phone so that you're still at the meal even though you couldn't be there in person.

 

[Anyanka Bunny Slayer]

Okay, some good news from my brother! He's considering having it at his house; holy crap, his timing is creepy. I'd suggested this a few days ago, but the idea was quickly shot down. Yay me!

All we have to do is decorate and provide her favourite food...but hopefully NO wine. Nope and hell no.

Looks like this thread can be closed now. Or not. Either option is fine with me. 🙂

 

[sosa lola]

I'm glad things worked out for you. 🙂 Since your mom is getting old, I think it's best to be around her as much as you can.

 

[ILLYRIAN]

I can't see the problem,
generally speaking people do not like it when you touch their food.
Or did you mean something different, ie not a literal, 'how do I handle the mothers day lunch?