How do your favorite ships and characters reflect your personality?

[evilonion]

This is a really interesting topic and makes me wanna try this out for myself! It's ridiculously hard for me to pick one (or even a few) favorite character/s and while I love Buffy, Willow, Angel and the rest of the gang, I'd have to say my absolute favorite characters are Fred, Wesley and Xander.

So going with that, I can see how Fred relates to me. I've actually noticed before when watching Angel that I tend to have a lot of the same mannerisms and we sort of...move alike? It's actually hard to explain now that I'm trying to write it, lol. What I'm getting at is, we act alike and share some of the same personality traits (such as being awkward around people and stating random things you wouldn't expect). Of course, she's much much smarter than me, haha.

With Xander, I mostly just find him really funny. He's exactly the kind of person I'd hang around with. He's down to earth, got a good sense of humor and is basically a loyal friend so with him I think it's just more that I think he'd be a good match for me as a friend.

I'm not seeing myself in Wesley really, except that he seems to be somewhat of a romantic (It's the Angel series Wesley I really like, not so much on Buffy), and he had that crush on Fred for like years before he ever did anything about it. And even then it was her who had to finally make a move. So I guess I can relate to him there, haha.

I should also mention Anya but I really just think she's hilarious so there's probably no deep meaning there.

As for relationships, my fave are Fred/ Wesley and Oz/Willow. Oz and Willow just seems like such a cute, innocent but very loving relationship. I admire that. As for Fred and Wes, I just waited a reeeally long time for them to finally get together! Then they did and broke my heart 🙁, but that's a story for another day, haha.

Well, that was very long and I'm not sure if I learned anything or not...

 

[mayfever]

Interesting topic. I like!

Except I find it really hard to come up with an answer. I ship Bangel above everything, but reading all these clever posts makes me wonder why a little. I definitely agree with those who said that friendship is the basis for every successful relationship, and Buffy and Angel were never friends. What I love about them is that, how Joss put it, "their love transcends everything". It's all-consuming - they hurt each other so much, do the most horrific things to each other, and yet they will forgive each other over and over again.

It's a little scary to think about, but in a way I ended my last relationship because there was too little of that. We were the best of friends and it was a solid foundation, but at the end of the day there's more to a relationship than that.

Or maybe I'm just shallow and want to see two insanely pretty people make out.

 

[Kean]

Interesting topic. I like!

Except I find it really hard to come up with an answer. I ship Bangel above everything, but reading all these clever posts makes me wonder why a little. I definitely agree with those who said that friendship is the basis for every successful relationship, and Buffy and Angel were never friends.

I always take the "friendship as a the basis of love" thing with a pinch of salt. To me, a friendship that turns romantic is a friendship lost. The dynamic between friends is so magnificently opposite to the dynamic I want from a relationship. If you have a relationship with your best friend, who the Hell do you go to if things go wrong? What happens when you need your best friend, and not your boyfriend?

I just do not like the idea of it at all. I hold much more value on relationship that starts off romantic and you build that. From the get go.

What I love about them is that, how Joss put it, "their love transcends everything". It's all-consuming - they hurt each other so much, do the most horrific things to each other, and yet they will forgive each other over and over again.

Passion, and almost unconditional love. And I think it is important to note that even when they hurt each other it is never intentional. They have an immense loyalty and capacity to forgive. At their lowest points they still find a way to love each other. Most importantly though, they are balanced. Equal.

That's why I love them and that's why the reflect who I am. I seek that kind of love and that kind of balance.

I don't want a friend as a lover. I have friends.

 

[Taake]

Well I'm a Bangel as I'm sure few have missed 🙂 And I know exactly why.

In real life you'll have a hard time finding someone more cynical and unromantic then me, seriously, which is why I love Bangel. Their love is everything I wish I believed in, that I wish I thought could be true... I find their story and love touching and beautiful and completely unreal. That's part of the charm for me.

As for characters my favorite are Angel and Faith

Angel: reflects my own personality because I 'think' the world much like him though he tends to brood a wee bit more than I do 🙂 I also take out my frustrations via training/fighting.

Faith... well I relate a lot to her and not really in a good way. We have similar backgrounds and teen years (murder not counted of course) and are similiarly jaded yet inexperienced in certain matters. So yes, she reflects my own personality both in ways I like and don't like.

I like her a lot though because even more so than Buffy she's 'not done baking', we don't really know where Faith will end up in the future, what she'll do with her life... but she has the potential to do more or less anything now that she's matured enough to take responsibility for her own actions.
I like the hopefulness of that outlook. 🙂

I always take the "friendship as a the basis of love" thing with a pinch of salt. To me, a friendship that turns romantic is a friendship lost. The dynamic between friends is so magnificently opposite to the dynamic I want from a relationship.

I kind of agree. Mostly because I feel that ... you're friends for a reason. There was a reason as to why you didn't, at some point early on, feel an attraction to this person. If it's not there it's not there... and for something to 'blossom' later, for you to 'discover' something new in this person... I don't know. I have a hard time buying it.

 

[Kean]

I kind of agree. Mostly because I feel that ... you're friends for a reason. There was a reason as to why you didn't, at some point early on, feel an attraction to this person. If it's not there it's not there... and for something to 'blossom' later, for you to 'discover' something new in this person... I don't know. I have a hard time buying it.

I truly could not agree with this more. While I too "think" the world, when it comes to people, I'm run solely on my instincts and intuition. I trust my gut. And if it tells me this person is my friend, well then they are my friend. And I have never been wrong. In fact I have twice forced myself to have feelings for two of my closest friends because the people around us insisted we would be "perfect for each other". We weren't. We really really weren't.

I fundamentally believe the kind of love I want just is. It is not something that I want to create. I don't think I even could. I just don't believe in that.

[MENTION=10363]zobothehobo[/MENTION] and [MENTION=7924]InsaneMystic[/MENTION] Yup, I don't believe it is possible for us to be anymore different. Even if we tried! 😀 :lmao:

 

[InsaneMystic]

Mostly because I feel that ... you're friends for a reason. There was a reason as to why you didn't, at some point early on, feel an attraction to this person. If it's not there it's not there... and for something to 'blossom' later, for you to 'discover' something new in this person... I don't know. I have a hard time buying it.

See, that's a view I really don't understand. Why would being friends mean that you didn't feel that kind of attraction early on (or, in fact, all the time through)? I, for once, do feel such attraction to the vast majority of my female friends (and also did so for one or two of the males)... just because it's not acted on doesn't mean it isn't there, so it's not such a big leap to act on it later if the opportunity comes up.

Then again, I freely admit that I don't understand the appeal of romance. The best relationships, IMO, are utterly indistinguishable from "(best) friends with benefits". To me, the most surefire way to sink a ship is to add romance.

 

[zobothehobo]

I truly could not agree with this more. While I too "think" the world, when it comes to people, I'm run solely on my instincts and intuition. I trust my gut. And if it tells me this person is my friend, well then they are my friend. And I have never been wrong. In fact I have twice forced myself to have feelings for two of my closest friends because the people around us insisted we would be "perfect for each other". We weren't. We really really weren't.

I fundamentally believe the kind of love I want just is. It is not something that I want to create. I don't think I even could. I just don't believe in that.

While I totally understand wanting the kind of love that just is, I still feel like friendship has to be in a relationship. I mean... my friends are people I enjoy spending time with, who like the things I do, and who enjoy spending time with me... they also tend to have simlar views of the world. I want the person I'm in a relationship with to have all of those qualities too. I want to enjoy spending time with them, I want them to enjoy the things I do (so we can do things together), I want them to enjoy spending time with me, and I want them to have similar views of the world (so we really get each other).

That's why I love Tillow so much. Their love just is. I feel very strongly that they were in love with each other in Hush, they just didn't know it yet. And they have the qualities of friends. They have the perfect "romantic friendship" as I like to call it.

I kind of agree. Mostly because I feel that ... you're friends for a reason. There was a reason as to why you didn't, at some point early on, feel an attraction to this person. If it's not there it's not there... and for something to 'blossom' later, for you to 'discover' something new in this person... I don't know. I have a hard time buying it.

So you've never changed your opinion of someone? This just feels so... rigid. People aren't rigid. They grow, they change. As you spend more time with someone... you do discover new things about them and in them that you didn't before. "Lives change like the weather" is the best way I know how to describe it. You can wake up one day and look at someone and see them in an entirely different light because things do change.

There's also my personal favorite change, where you wake up one day and realize you've actually been in love with someone for quite some time but didn't know it yet. As much as it pains me to admit it (because I don't much like him), that's what happened between my mother and her husband. He was in love with her and she kept saying she didn't have feelings for him... Then one day she woke up and was like "woah. I am in love with him." They got married 8 months later and on the 21st of this month, they will have been married for two years.

Bottom line: things change. People change. Feelings change.

 

[InsaneMystic]

While I too "think" the world, when it comes to people, I'm run solely on my instincts and intuition. I trust my gut.

Can I just say, that's a time of "Kean's 180° different to me" where I actually envy you for it? I've learned the hard way to never, ever, trust my guts with people. Guts are stupid evil liar organs, so I'll basically pull a Spock every time. Love is brains, kids. (<< I couldn't resist... this may be the one time you're a million times more Spikeish than me, lol!)

 

[Kean]

See, that's a view I really don't understand. Why would being friends mean that you didn't feel that kind of attraction early on (or, in fact, all the time through)? I, for once, do feel such attraction to the vast majority of my female friends (and also did so for one or two of the males)... just because it's not acted on doesn't mean it isn't there, so it's not such a big leap to act on it later if the opportunity comes up.

For me, even when I have found friends attractive it has never been anything more than the conscious and platonic appreciation of their looks and/or personality. There has never been anything beyond that. Even when I tried to make something.

The spark I feel with friendship is a totally different feeling to the spark I feel with a relationship.

Then again, I freely admit that I don't understand the appeal of romance. The best relationships, IMO, are utterly indistinguishable from "(best) friends with benefits". To me, the most surefire way to sink a ship is to add romance.

You pay the respect to romance that it deserves and it can be pure joy and magic. 😉

You don't believe me for a second. :hehe:

[MENTION=10363]zobothehobo[/MENTION] I think it's fun and interesting to have found someone so different from me...

Absolutely, if nothing else it makes us think a little deeper than perhaps we would have. Plus, the fact that we are amazing helps 😛 😛 😛 😛

 

[KellGreen]

So you've never changed your opinion of someone? This just feels so... rigid. People aren't rigid. They grow, they change. As you spend more time with someone... you do discover new things about them and in them that you didn't before. "Lives change like the weather" is the best way I know how to describe it. You can wake up one day and look at someone and see them in an entirely different light because things do change.

There's also my personal favorite change, where you wake up one day and realize you've actually been in love with someone for quite some time but didn't know it yet. As much as it pains me to admit it (because I don't much like him), that's what happened between my mother and her husband. He was in love with her and she kept saying she didn't have feelings for him... Then one day she woke up and was like "woah. I am in love with him." They got married 8 months later and on the 21st of this month, they will have been married for two years.

Bottom line: things change. People change. Feelings change.

Yep. I try to be rational and distance people in general since i have MAJOR trust issues. The only man i have ever loved, and by loved i mean Spike-type love's bitch love, i was friends with for 8 years before. i knew he had a thing for me, but i just didn't feel him, so to speak...then it just happened & i fell so hard there's just not words for it. didn't see it coming.

 

[Taake]

So you've never changed your opinion of someone? This just feels so... rigid. People aren't rigid. They grow, they change. As you spend more time with someone... you do discover new things about them and in them that you didn't before.

Of course we grow and change, I'm not immune or blind to this but as [MENTION=7585]Kean[/MENTION] said

While I too "think" the world, when it comes to people, I'm run solely on my instincts and intuition. I trust my gut.

For me attraction is very much a chemical reaction. Something you feel or don't and if you're not compatible in that department it'll be clear from start. I don't think attraction will grow out of nothing just by seeing new sides to a person.

There's also my personal favorite change, where you wake up one day and realize you've actually been in love with someone for quite some time but didn't know it yet. As much as it pains me to admit it (because I don't much like him), that's what happened between my mother and her husband. He was in love with her and she kept saying she didn't have feelings for him... Then one day she woke up and was like "woah. I am in love with him." They got married 8 months later and on the 21st of this month, they will have been married for two years.

Well that's great! 🙂 But I would guess that she felt something for him before waking up to that realisation.

Bottom line: things change. People change. Feelings change.

Again, yes, I accept and understand this as well as the next person but yeah, for me see above I guess. To me, through all my changes in life, I've still had a core 'me' and though tastes and preferences have changed I still need to feel 'that' for someone to get involved with them. And if 'that' isn't there... then it won't be in the future either. Even if you try.

But this is all based on my personal experiences obviously and due to this I don't think we'll see each others points in any clearer of a light really because or experiences must be vastly different. 🙂

 

[Miss Kitty]

Interesting idea of topic 🙂

Hmm, for my part, my favorites characters are Buffy, Spike, Dawn and Cordelia (more in Angel than BTVS), and I think I relate more to Buffy (in the last seasons, more than in the first ones). Because I recognize a lot myself in her way of thinking, taking responsabilities and she had to grow very fast, without having really chosen it. My parents are both disabled, so I always had a lot of responsabilities to take, even when I was young (it began when I was 7 or 8) and these responsabilities became stronger when my little brother borned (I'm 11 years older than him), so the Buffy we know in season 5, 6 and 7, I felt really closer to her. In her way of taking care of Dawn, in her way of taking responsabilities, in her way of feeling a hiatus between her and people. Even in her character, I have a lot in common with her.

In the same way, I think I relate a lot to my favorite ship, Spuffy. Because they're there for each other at all the levels, in the lowest point of their lives as much as in the best moments, and they still accept each other like they are, in despite of their mistakes, in despite of everything, and that's that kind of love, support and level of understanding that make me believe in true love. The way two people are able to make each other better by believing in each other, trusting each other or understanding each other, in a relationship full of love in despite of the complexity, I found it so beautiful, and I'm really grateful to Joss and James & Sarah (among others) for that. And the point is, I relate to their relationship because they brought these elements to me when my life wasn't really full of joy and happiness, and I was alone, I didn't have any kind of support in any way, and even if their relationship is a fictive one, I felt their support to each other like a great comfort to me. Which probably sounds really weird, but well, that's it. Even in the way that Spike was looking after Dawn like Buffy would have done it. He helped her, and made her believe again in herself (among a lot of things), and again, because of the way I relate to Buffy, I relate to those elements of their story. They became really important to each other, as lovers, as allies, as friends, as partners and that's the kind of journey who lead them to an unique relationship, complete and deep. They make me believe in their love, in their story and bring me support indirectly, and I'm very grateful for this.

I'm not sure that I have correctly answer to the thread, but anyway 😱

And for reacting to what's have been said before, I think friendship is an essential part to a relationship personnaly 🙂 The first example which came to my mind is How I Met Your Mother, Lily tell to Marshall the day of their wedding that she loves him, but that foremost, he's her best friend (something like that, I don't remember the exact line). I agree that you need to have friends to discuss some things you won't necessary discuss with your boyfriend or girlfriend, that's what friends are made for, and these kind of relationship remain platonic. But at some levels, friendship has to be a part of a romantic relationship, in the way of sharing with this person some things you won't share with anyone, the complicity, the communication and desire to know each other... I think that's an important part. A couple where the romance is the only foundation of the relationship won't last very long in my opinion, because passion is too ephemeral. In my way of seeing it, it has to be completed by a lot of friendship's elements. The difference is that you're attracted to this person physically and romantically, and that she brought to you something else. But in my opinion, knowing to be friend with your boyfriend/girlfriend is essential to the relationship health. Even if that's not the same kind of love. Of course, that's only my way of seeing it, there's a lot of different ways of seeing romance 🙂

 

[Kean]

I mean... my friends are people I enjoy spending time with, who like the things I do, and who enjoy spending time with me... they also tend to have simlar views of the world. I want the person I'm in a relationship with to have all of those qualities too. I want to enjoy spending time with them, I want them to enjoy the things I do (so we can do things together), I want them to enjoy spending time with me, and I want them to have similar views of the world (so we really get each other).

Do all of your friends like all the things you do? Mine certainly don't. What I share with all my friends, I think anyway, is sense of humour. I can't say that any of my friends care for any of the things I do, or if they do like them, not as much. However, when I think of the person who I will end up with they share my main interests, in terms of desire to travel, academia and things like that. Or, even if they don't share those things they want to share them with me. For me. The same way I would love to be introduced something new by someone I loved.

I kind of feel that you and I want the exact same things but in very different ways. 🙂

 

[zobothehobo]

Do all of your friends like all the things you do? Mine certainly don't. What I share with all my friends, I think anyway, is sense of humour. I can't say that any of my friends care for any of the things I do, or if they do like them, not as much. However, when I think of the person who I will end up with they share my main interests, in terms of desire to travel, academia and things like that. Or, even if they don't share those things they want to share them with me. For me. The same way I would love to be introduced something new by someone I loved.

I kind of feel that you and I want the exact same things but in very different ways. 🙂

I mean obviously not every friend is going to enjoy everything that I enjoy. But they do for the most part enjoy a good amount of the things I enjoy.

I, too, feel we want the exact same thing but in different ways. I think we look for different things in our friends, and I think we define friendship and romance differently. Very differently. haha

---------- Post added at 06:08 PM ---------- Previous post was at 06:00 PM ----------

For me attraction is very much a chemical reaction. Something you feel or don't and if you're not compatible in that department it'll be clear from start. I don't think attraction will grow out of nothing just by seeing new sides to a person.

Well see I don't think seeing new sides of a person is nothing. I also think if you already love someone as your friend, for romantic love to grow, it wouldn't be growing out of nothing. Honestly, I feel like Bangel's love was out of nothing. There was no foundation... just physical attraction at first. That kind of love feels like it grew out of nothing to me.

And I'm not just talking about physical attraction. I'm talking about love. Love is more than physical attraction... which is a chemical reaction. Love is so much more than that.

Well that's great! 🙂 But I would guess that she felt something for him before waking up to that realisation.

She did. But the point is she didn't know it. He was her best friend for two and a half years. And sometime in that two and a half years, she fell in love with him. But she didn't know it. And she wasn't in love with him when she first met him. Actually, she really didn't like him much when she first met him.

Again, yes, I accept and understand this as well as the next person but yeah, for me see above I guess. To me, through all my changes in life, I've still had a core 'me' and though tastes and preferences have changed I still need to feel 'that' for someone to get involved with them. And if 'that' isn't there... then it won't be in the future either. Even if you try.

My point is though, what if you don't realize 'that' is there? It is possible (as it happens every day) that people wake up one day and realize 'that' is there. My mother did it. And realizing and discovering that 'that' is there IS discovering something new in someone you didn't realize was there before.

But this is all based on my personal experiences obviously and due to this I don't think we'll see each others points in any clearer of a light really because or experiences must be vastly different. 🙂

Oh yes, of course. I completely agree.

 

[mayfever]

I'm not kidding Kean, I think you just gave me an epiphany. This is a whole new perspective on the whole friendship/romance thing that I never considered, but now that I did, you're making an awful lot of sense.

I guess because I'm surrounded by rock solid "best friends" type couples, I never questioned that this is how relationships are supposed to work. Maybe that's the entire reason why my last relationship didn't work out. I kept saying that I was friends with all of my boyfriends before we started going out, but come to think of it, that isn't entirely true - I've known and hung out with all of them for a while before something happened, but it wasn't friendship in the purest sense, more "a solid foundation for future bliss" (sorry, couldn't resist either 😉 ).

Either the attraction is there, or it isn't. Another reason why my "friends with benefits" scenario two years ago didn't work out, I suppose.

Wow. I love the way your brain works, Kean.

 

[Kairos]

I started watching Buffy when I was in a long-term relationship that had been slowly growing sour for a long time. I certainly didn't think that I was in a receptive state for a TV romance, but I was quickly drawn to Buffy/Angel without really knowing why, or thinking about how it related, or didn't, to my own life.

After Angel broke up with Buffy (and I got over my angst at him leaving the show), I figured it out. I had always held that giving up one's life for another was the greatest possible act of love, and I believed that my boyfriend would have died for me. Honestly, even with this much hindsight, I still believe it.

But he never, ever would have left me for the sake of my own happiness.

So, that's what my ship says about me. I do want a protector, but protecting someone, to my mind, means more than guarding them from harm; it means wanting the best for them and doing whatever it takes to make that happen. It's the love of looking right at someone. My boyfriend had the "side-by-side" kind of love, in which he wanted to be near me but had never actually put much thought into who I was.

My favorite characters, on the other hand, probably don't say jack about me. Buffy and Angel are my top dogs, and Oz and Lorne are my favorite non-title-characters, and none of them are much like me at all. My actual personality is some kind of weird mix between Anya and Dawn. Well, maybe a little Oz in there too. There ya go.

 

[wickedtiger86]

This thread is awesome.

My favorite ship? I love Spuffy. I always will and it's mostly because of season 7. Spike doesn't just love Buffy. He appreciates her and he supports her. His whole speech in Touched is about exactly that. That is what I want out of a relationship.

I am a very ambitious person. My house is basically a commune for anyone who needs a home and I take care of them all. I am starting a business and pursuing music and my husband is supportive of it all. It's a very important aspect of a relationship. Particularly if the woman is the breadwinner. I need a good man to back me up and help me when I get overwhelmed. Spike does that for Buffy and it's a beautiful thing.

Favorite characters? Giles, Spike, Buffy and Willow.

Giles? I have a library in my house that has over 1,500 books. Most of which are mine. Some belong to my housemates as well. But I practically live in that room. Reading and learning.

Spike? Sometimes I think Spike has his front because he wants to hide that fact that he's actually kind of a nice guy. He just got stomped on when he was nice and so puts out this image. I can related to that for sure. I don't do it so much anymore but I did used to hide behind an attitude so I wouldn't get hurt.

Buffy? I want to be strong. She's one of the strongest women portrayed in television. She sent the man she loved to hell in order to save the world. That's intense.

Willow? Geeky girl that reads? Yeah, basically me.

I guess the characters and ships you like really do say something about the person you are. I never would have thought . . .

 

[caritas08]

Okay this is probably TMI but here goes....

I am like Buffy if she was attracted to and in love with Lorne but his interest in her was only platonic and the strongest friendships in her life were Tara and Giles and her ex boyfriends consisted of Oz and Riley and Angel was kind of a peer mentor but there was nothing romantic between them ever and Willow was her little sister not Dawn and Xander was her dad, oh and she and Gunn were really good friends and he sometimes flirted with her but she was too in love with Lorne to really be interested.

I know that sounds silly but that is exactly what my life is like.