How does it make you feel?

[Buffy Summers]

So I'd like to open up a discussion about how seeing negative comments on the net, whether directed at you personally or at others, makes you feel.

I think if we see how the things we say affect other people, it will make us choose our words more carefully.

🙂

 

[Ripper666]

If I see negative comment I look who wrote it. Then I just think that the author is not able to discuss in a acceptable behave way, so he shouldn't even try it. But hey there is nothing against a little discussion with emotions and little jokes. It's just that there is a line which you shouldn't overcross.

 

[BananaBuffy]

When it comes to harsh words on the internet or negative comments whether directed at me or someone else I can't even describe how bad I feel. It is actually a horrible feeling. I open myself up to it by posting YouTube videos of myself singing. In this type of situation you are going to get mean comments and people who think you're terrible and it really hurts. I have gotten some horrific feedback before and I always find myself going back to the video and reading the comment just because it's on my mind and then it bothers me for days and I get this horrible feeling in the pit of my stomach.

When a comment is directed at someone else I get a similiar feeling. I hate the idea that other people could get upset by something said. When it's someone I care about it is obviously worse but the idea that someone's words whether intentially or not could hurt someone crushes me a little.

I do truly try, and this is something I'm working hard at, to think about what I am saying before I post it on the internet. I have this issue with twitter where I treat it like my personal diary and if you go through it you will find times where I have been irritated with my father or my sister or someone else and have tweeted something nasty about them. It doesn't matter that they won't ever read it, I know it's there and I also know that I really shouldn't have posted it. That kind of thing is not for the world to read.

 

[badwolf]

Sometimes I don't care one way or the other, other times it pisses me off. Especially when I check who the author is, and it's someone who has made quite a habit of it. I get the urge to write back and insult, but then it's that much sweeter just ignoring them, as in they are really not worth the time and effort.

 

[The Scourge]

I don't really care. If it's directed at someone else, its not my problem; if it's directed at me, well I don't really care what some faceless stranger has to say about me.

I guess I'm just indifferent to this kind of thing. And if the poster is persistent in trying to get a rise out of me... all the places I post have the Ignore function.

 

[wickedtiger86]

Hmm, this is tricky. If it's directed at me, yeah, I can feel bad, depending what it is, but I try not to let it bother me overly much. And that goes for online and offline.

But if I see someone being negative towards someone else . . I do, at the very least, feel some sympathy. It's never a good feeling when someone is mean to you. No matter what the medium is.

And, you know, I guess it can really bring down my mood for a little bit. I've gotten off of my computer, and stayed off it for a few days, because some people I knew on facebook were being really negative and rude to each other. . .

 

[zobothehobo]

For me it depends on the setting and situation. If it's negative words about an opinion of mine.. usually I'll rant and rave about it to my friends (online and off) and probably pace around my room ranting and raving (I do that a lot).. and maybe tell someone in my family if I really want to complain, but I rarely get seriously hurt by it. If it's negative words about an opinion of someone else's and I agree with the negative words, depending on how rude they are and the consequences of someone I care about who has that opinion that's being talked about seeing it, I'll either agree privately or agree publicly.

Then there's tumblr. Tumblr has created a whole new world of negativity on the internet for me. Most of my negativity stems from the Taylor Swift fandom. I'm not going to bore you all with the details, but I'm not going to lie... I can get pretty darn mean when it comes to the TS fandom. Mainly because I am very intolerant when it comes to stupidity. And I'm sorry, but sometimes people say stupid things. And it makes me want to throw my pillow at the wall and scream. I especially dislike it when people say stupid judgmental things. That is so much of the TS fandom. See the fandom is divided into two main groups: the close to Taylor's age fans, and the little kids (Swifties). And I am not always nice. Of course, the TS fandom has never been nice... well not since the release of Fearless.
And then there's the rare song thing... that will go down almost completely now that darkbluetennessee.com is gone! 🙂 (I'm super happy about that). But it still looms over my head. Negativity in that aspect of the fandom makes me really really sad. I share rare/unreleased songs to avoid negativity. (and sidenote... I kind of lead the sharing revolution on tumblr. Of course you wouldn't care about that if you're not in the TS fandom so I don't know why I said it... oh well)

And there's anon hate. I don't get much of it... but when I do, I shrug it off. To be honest, I don't care what people think of me. If you don't like me, fine. If you do, yay! But I'm totally fine if you don't. It's not the end of the world to me.

So that's negativity directed at me. There's some negativity I can't handle though... and that's the kind of internet negativity that is so toxic that if you're around it long enough, you'll start viewing the world with black spots all over it. That's the kind of negativity on IMDb and youtube. The kind where people don't bother being negative about and opinion you have... they just skip to personally insulting you. It's the kind where people put others down to feel high and mighty. It's the kind where you feel like the person on the other end of that computer is laughing as they type such mean words that make you want to cry. That kind of internet negativity makes me sick. I ignore places I know it will because I can't deal with it.

 

[This Year's Girl]

I can react in different ways depending on the situation. But something that's always the same, doesn't matter if it's directed to me or someone else or what it is about, is that when someone's being mean I always feel it puts a damper on the situation. It makes it less fun. You could be having a great time, joking around and then someone takes it to far or is just being plain rude, and the fun stops.

And yeah, if it is something really mean, or I feel like people are ganging up on me or someone else I think the best word to describe how I feel is just sad. I don't cry, but I feel really tired, a kind of hopelessness, like "why would they do that? why can people be so mean to eachother?" and I have to go and talk to someone I know would understand me and make me feel better.

 

[Nix]

If it is directed at me it hurts and I quietly react to it trying not to allow people online to know how hurt I am feeling. I am a sensitive soul and take things very personally.

If it is at others like between friends online I feel very uncomfortable and try not to get involved as best I can because I do not want to make things worse between them.

I have seen a lot of nasty stuff happen online over the years and I just don't think people stop to think or care even that they might be hurting someone.

 

[Taake]

Either when directed at me or others I tend to get annoyed, get it in my head for a while, and usually I get quite defensive. I usually try to wait a while before responding though, so as not to let the defensive tone overpower my reply, sometimes I fail and sometimes I succeed. I try at least 🙂 Because it's rarely meant to be personal even though it can feel like it.

 

[PassionBecoming]

I don't really go to sites where comments and the like are posted. On Facebook, my friends list is very small and I am very picky about who I add on there. If people are acting out of line or posting things that I find offensive, I don't hesitate to delete them. I use Dogster/Catster a lot, and it is 99% friendly and happy and positive. On BB, I haven't personally received any hateful/negative comments, but I have seen some posts that could be taken badly. Mostly, I just think, "Wow, that person needs to calm down and chill out." Yes, we all have our opinions, we all love Buffy (or whatever is on YouTube, Tumblr, etc.), but there's no reason to get upset or rude about it. When banter like that starts, I just ignore and stay out of it, because it's not worth my time and energy.

 

[Fusions2]

I've had a few negative comments thrown at me in the past from people who thought at the time they knew better than me. It was hurtful but it only made me retaliate back and the arguments continued back and forth for a few months. I know I've dished out my fair share of negative comments in the past but I've learned not to put myself in those situations anymore.

Someone on a forum I run was asking for advice over a family friend who had put negative comments on Facebook about herself and her family and this is what I wrote.

When people like that decide to use you and stab you in the back it's usually because they have issues themselves. They want a reaction from you and your family so they can feel better about themselves. I know you feel angry and hurt and you want to react but don't. It may sound hard but the best thing you can do is just hold your head up high and carry on with your life. This person will get what they deserve one day. Some people just don't understand the words trust and loyalty and unfortunately there is a lot of people out there like this.

Another sad thing is Facebook is a big player in ruining friendships and relationships, one status or comment can change everything and I hate that because the majority believe what is being written. It's yet another way to boost egos and get "their friends" on their side when arguments happen. It's nothing more than a popularity contest. Like I said before you just have to stay quiet and not give them a reason to react. Eventually it will all die down and hopefully that person will realise how much you don't care and just stop.

I have found following my own experiences that it is best to say little or nothing at all, even if you do want to stand up for yourself. Which is a human instinct but is it really all worth it? Thats what I ask myself if I ever get in to a negative situation.

 

[Chosen Enemy]

A few years ago I'd get really offended. But thankfully I grew some thicker skin and have no problem holding my own. Obviously I don't like it when I feel an attack, either on someone or myself. But I try not to let it get to me so much. I've grown to be outspoken, which means I would usually say my opinion (always kindly, I believe), so I expect other people to sometimes lash on me. And you know what, it's okay. But when someone say what they say as an attack, that mostly pisses me off and I'd reply, but I'd try not to hurt by my words. So it mostly pisses me off.

I grew up as a child with honest parents. They've never lied to me if I made something... not so pretty, like a painting for example. They'd tell me if it's wrong and would try to guide me how to make it better. And I'm thankful for that, for having honest parents. That helped me in life, to get better.
My point is, honesty is good as long as it's made to get you to better things. But sometimes you can feel when this honesty is an attack, and not out of kind intention to help. That's when I'd react. Because that case it wouldn't be okay, out of purely cruelness. These are trolls who are meant to say mean things just for the sake of it. I mean, you can say the truth with kinder words. I wouldn't blame a person if they say what they think out of kindness, I'd cheer for it, people should say the truth, but only if their intention is good.

Wow, that came out as a long ranting, hope you got my point 🙂

 

[kittenpoker]

Good topic!

I definitely take negative comments (and probably positive ones too) waaaayyy too personally. I feel sometimes like I have no barrier....like everything just sticks to my heart.

 

[brinkster130]

If it is directed at me it hurts and I quietly react to it trying not to allow people online to know how hurt I am feeling. I am a sensitive soul and take things very personally.

I am the exact same way. It's really hard for me to step back and not take things personally.

Sometimes, when I see how nasty people can be, it makes me grateful I don't know them in real life. Having to put up with someone so petty would be exhausting and emotionally draining.

 

[Tueuse de Vampires]

I don't really care. It's the internet. It's not like the people who write something negative actually know me. Most the time someone insults me or something over the internet, I find it more amusing than anything else, especially knowing that a lot of those people would never dare to speak up to me to my face.

 

[Buffy Summers]

When it's me, I usually just take it. But when it's someone else it's very important to me to defend that person.

 

[white avenger]

I've done my best to ignore sarcasm and ill feelings aimed at me by others on the internet, and have pretty well managed to succeed in keeping my temper under control. If I find myself beginning to get angry, I usually just leave that site or ignore the person being rude. If that doesn't work, or for some reason I find myself metaphorically backed into a corner where I have no other choice, when I constantly run into that person every time that I come to a site, I just take my computer outside and empty my .45 automatic into it. By the time that I've saved up enough money to buy a new one, either the argument is completely forgotten, or my tormentor nas moved on to a new target.

Luckily, in the past 15 years, I've only had to buy two replacement computers.

 

[sk]

Think it would depend a lot on who it is.
If it's someone that usually is a nice person and has my respect I can imagine becoming a bit upset.

On the other hand, if it would be that guy who always is acting like a moron I would probably just laugh.

But I don't know actually. Luckily it hasn't really happened to me. Can't recall it anyway.
I have a tendency to not having so strong opinions about stuff that I get into heated debates.

When I see negative stuff in general it makes me a bit sad though.
I browse around the net, on different boards and stuff for fun and as a relaxation. Seeing people arguing, calling each other names or just being very negative in general isn't either fun or relaxing so I just don't appreciate it.

/SK

 

[Flannen]

If it's directed at me I associate it with the feeling you used to get at school if you got a comment like "Please see me" from a teacher who'd marked your work, lol. I have been known to take things personally and I used to be terrible for biting back impulsively but I try to be better with that now, or just make someone else feel as bad you do.

I think it does bother me when I see it happening to others, though. We can be so flippant with words and I don't think it takes a lot to try and rephrase what you want to say in a more positive way.