How has online negativity affected you?

[Buffy Summers]

Today I'd like to hear people's feelings about how negativity on the internet has affected their lives "“ not just online but off. So, how has the bad of the online impacted you?

🙂

 

[zobothehobo]

Well a couple years ago I was a really big member on the forums on taylorswift.com. Well it was really cool until about March. And then it got really bad. The moderation sucked there, but that's a different story. Bottom line is I ended up complaining so much about the negativity there (because it was the kind of negativity that completely devours you) that my friends and family pretty much stopped talking to me.

 

[LoveLoveLovix]

As I mentioned in another post, I was bullied on the first website I ever joined after calling it my online home for years. I had just started middle school, and between the cyberbullying I got on those boards and my daily life, I was really miserable. I started playing sick often, and I became extremely irritable and hard to be around. And the funny thing is that being online was like a drug... I didn't feel good when I got on those boards, but I kept coming back for a few months because I felt worse not knowing if they were saying anything about me at the moment, or what else was up. It was a horrible cycle.

Another way online negativity has affected me is kind of a mixture of the good and the bad. I have learned to stand up for myself more, but sometimes that means I do it when I should just be letting something go. It's still hard for me to find a balance. I've gotten in a lot of trouble for opening my mouth when I should shut it, which really is a trait I learned on the 'net!

 

[Nix]

If it is a big bundle of negativity, I always seem to be stuck in the middle and either have to chose a side or am lucky enough to remain neutral. It depends on the maturity of those involved and my position on the site(s) in question and my opinion on the matter. But, generally it makes me feel really bad and i dread going online and talking to people about the subject that has caused the negativity. Which I dislike as the net is normally my sanity and my escape, so having turn into a war zone has a big impact on me. I withdraw from things to avoid confrontation and try to keep my head down till it blows over and sorts itself out. Lame I know but it just causes me so much stress in real life (and with my bipolar, stress needs to be avoided).

If it is just a small amount of negativity I simply avoid a thread and do not get involved and it does not have a big impact on me and I can just choose to ignore it easily although it is disheartening to see it unfold.

 

[Ripper666]

Once I saw a really rude comment onto my Youtube-channel. I was more surprised than sad because it a was really, really rude comment. I visited the channel of the one who commented and saw that other members had the same comments. The rude Youtube-member just wanted to get clicks on his channel! Then I turned angry. So I deleted the comment and forget about it. Hope others will not be sad because of such comments.

 

[Tome]

I got so used to the bullshit that's being said online, it doesn't even bother me anymore. Sometimes it even makes me laugh. So many people you can't take seriously online. They release all their rage and frustration by being **********. What can you do about it really? I say just don't give them attention, because that's what they seek.

So all in all, it didn't affect me per say. I just learned to take stuff with a grain of salt on the internet. 😉

 

[BuffyElevated]

I have noticed that if I get stressed about something that's happened to me online, I carry the stress into my home life. I'll either be short with my kids or vent to my husband, who just stares and me and goes "Um, it's only the Internet. Calm down." LOL

Last year, I started an online fitness group on Facebook, to try to motivate myself and help others get motivated as well. A "friend" of mine sent me a very ugly message about how "no one wants to take fitness tips from a fatass" and told me to get over myself. It hurt my feelings a lot, and made me really question myself and my right to talk to anyone about health. It really shot my self esteem down, too, and made it hard for me to see myself in a mirror without having those words pop into my head. 🙁 I have since cut this "friend" completely out of my life, and I feel a lot better. I still don't know why she felt the need to be so mean, but I have finally gotten over it. It did take a long time, though, because people tend to dwell on negative thoughts a lot longer than positive ones.

 

[Kean]

I take it with me. I can't just leave it online. In some ways I find it even more stressful because it is nigh impossible to share your frustrations and upsets about what happens online with the people you would go to in your regular, day to day life.

I've had days when I have dreaded turning on the computer, nights when I couldn't sleep because I had knots in my stomach. I react the exact same way as if the negativity and nastiness was an RL issue.

In the end I simply begin to streamline where I go on the internet and what parts of it I see. Even on BB, there are sections I have hidden, like the Battleships forum, because I end up getting too stressed and upset when I see them all the time.

 

[Cast No Shadow]

I've never really had any terrible online experiences, because I've never really been a big forum user. I was a member of a Casualty (a UK tv show) forum for years before it shut down, and I absolutely loved it.

I was a member of a teen website (when I was a teen) that had a lot of trolls, but it didn't really bother me as such because stuff like that either makes me laugh, or I ignore it. I uploaded a couple of pics of myself and got some not so nice comments a couple of times, but such is life. I don't expect everyone to always like me.

If it's someone I don't care about it doesn't bother me if they say less than nice things about me, however if it's someone I like and respect, then it definitely has more of an effect. Thankfully the latter has very rarely happened.

 

[kittenpoker]

It gets to me. I know it *shouldn't*.... But it's a very visceral reaction that I cannot intellectualize away. I've cried a lot over internet stuff. I react exactly the same to negativity on the net as I do in face to face interactions. I think maybe that's not good but, I can't seem to help it.

 

[Evil Angelus 95]

I have noticed that if I get stressed about something that's happened to me online, I carry the stress into my home life. I'll either be short with my kids or vent to my husband, who just stares and me and goes "Um, it's only the Internet. Calm down." LOL

Last year, I started an online fitness group on Facebook, to try to motivate myself and help others get motivated as well. A "friend" of mine sent me a very ugly message about how "no one wants to take fitness tips from a fatass" and told me to get over myself. It hurt my feelings a lot, and made me really question myself and my right to talk to anyone about health. It really shot my self esteem down, too, and made it hard for me to see myself in a mirror without having those words pop into my head. 🙁 I have since cut this "friend" completely out of my life, and I feel a lot better. I still don't know why she felt the need to be so mean, but I have finally gotten over it. It did take a long time, though, because people tend to dwell on negative thoughts a lot longer than positive ones.

😱Oh my gosh, that's just awful!!

I had a friend like that once, he seemed to go out of his way to make fun of me and put me down for things i liked, and yet he continued to hang out with me. During my 7th grade year, he went out of his way to get a bunch of people to constantly make fun of me. Every.Single.Day. I came close to getting depressed over it.

Since i stopped hanging out with him, I've felt a lot better. Not to mention that I finally spoke to my school's guidence counciler about it, and It all seemed to wind down. I'm a lot happier now than i was back then, that's for sure!

 

[OhWow]

I'm a sensitive person, so when it comes to insults it hurts pretty bad. I've never really experienced negativity on forums and such, considering this is really the only one I'm a member of.

I have had incidents on Xbox LIVE though. The only live I play is Call of Duty, and it's crazy how mean people are on it. Most of the time, I just talk to my friends in game chat and people recognize that I'm a girl, and then comes a slew of insults. I've been called "tranny" and "whore" a couple times.

Then it becomes me and my friends v. the rest of the lobby. We generally just leave.

 

[Enemies]

The only negativity I've ever experienced was on Facebook regarding on of my RL 'friends' she would basically use her status' to be cruel and exclude me from nights out etc. She'd purposefully write hurtful comments at times on my status and then try to pass it off as a joke when I asked her about it. Overall it stressed me out but in the end I just realised that I had plenty of friends without her bringing me down so I kind of snubbed her out of my life. That may sound mean of me but she'd make digs at me constantly IRL as well and it all got a bit much.

 

[Mr Giles]

Imho people shouldnt get upset over the internet. Some people can be really insulting on the net simply because they're unidentifiable. No one knows what the persons really like. Honestly people that let internet negativity get to them deserve it, because its so weak.

 

[Enemies]

Imho people shouldnt get upset over the internet. Some people can be really insulting on the net simply because they're unidentifiable. No one knows what the persons really like. Honestly people that let internet negativity get to them deserve it, because its so weak.

I agree with the first three sentences however what's highlighted in bold above is not only negative but completely unnecessary on this thread or anywhere else on the board. Although I respect that that may be your opinion I do not think its appropriate to air it in this thread.

Please remember this week is about being nice to your fellow online friends.

 

[OhWow]

Honestly people that let internet negativity get to them deserve it, because its so weak.

This is exactly what this week is trying to prevent.

 

[A Flawed Fashion]

My negative internet experiences have largely been with fandom. Luckily, I haven't had any personal attacks on the internet. That can be scary.

I was on a Smallville message board for a long time and hung out with a bunch of people who all shipped Chloe and Oliver who weren't all that popular with some people. And people who did not like it were very passionate that it should not be happening. And at first its hard not to want to snap back and then you end up in an argument. The problem with the internet is that some people might just be saying "i really don't like this" thinking nothing of it, but then someone takes it very seriously and then more people jump in.

Now, I try really hard to stay out of internet arguments. They aren't good for you. Every once in a while, I get pulled into it, but I just leave a single post with my opinion and move on with life. I think the biggest effect of internet negativity on me is that I am much better at ignoring it. I'm here to have fun and not to argue with people. Fandom negativity is something I found most people learn to ignore by getting sucked into an argument at least once.

There are a bunch of people I talk to regularly where we can say whatever we want about whatever show or ship without feeling too insulted because we know each other. Internet anonymity makes that much harder on forums where you don't know anyone and people pop out of nowhere insulting something you like.

 

[Mr Giles]

So if someone is a bully online, why give them the power by letting it affect you?
They cant actually do anything to you, so you know, and every other sane person knows, whoevers acting 'tough' online is probably some lameo that would never attempt it in real life!

 

[OhWow]

So if someone is a bully online, why give them the power by letting it affect you?
They cant actually do anything to you, so you know, and every other sane person knows, whoevers acting 'tough' online is probably some lameo that would never attempt it in real life!

Easier said than done is all I'm saying. Sure, people shouldn't take cyber-bullying or negativity to heart, but when it happens it's tough to just shrug it off. Sticks and stones is just not a saying that is accurate to everyone.

 

[BuffyElevated]

So if someone is a bully online, why give them the power by letting it affect you?
They cant actually do anything to you, so you know, and every other sane person knows, whoevers acting 'tough' online is probably some lameo that would never attempt it in real life!

Not everyone is a strong enough person to make their mind up that something someone says to them online, they're not going to let it affect their life. I wish everyone was strong enough and confident enough to realize that the opinion of a stranger doesn't matter, but the point is that some people are more mentally fragile than others, and words can hurt worse than a fist.