I need a little advice and comfort...

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JustAnnie

~Annie~
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Not sure if this is the right place to post it, but oh well...

I have a friend, who's been my bestfriend for years, lets just call her C! It's been kinda hard keeping it up, since we've always lived far away from each other, but it's worked. But we have started to grow apart, and it mostly started when she moved even further away I think. Can't remember exactly. The ironic thing is that she's always around where I live, she just never comes to see me, except when she needs money for the buss cos she used them on something else.
The reason she's around where I live, is cos of a girl who used to be in my class, lets call her T, who she has become good friends with. And they have both gotten into some serious trouble now. it got worse when this girls mother died, and she somehow still could live alone (at the age of 16) in the apartment. child services were always after her, and my friend was arguing with her mom, so they ran away. Leaving me and my other bestfriend, Vida, really worried. We helped her mother find her, by calling people we knew they could be with, and it ended with them being found. C got really mad at Vida, mainly cos they weren't really that good friends before either. C must know I was involved to, but she never gets mad at me.
Anyway, friends of me and Vida have seen her take/smoke drugs, and at least one of them has no reason to lie about it. So my so called bestfriend is taking drugs, and running away from home.
The worst part is that she denies the drug part. She lied to me about it, and that made me really angry, but I don't wonna loose her, even though she's causing me nothing but grief, and she hasn't for a long time. All she seems to want from me is money, and that hurts me.
Anyway, the big problem is that this summer I'm going somewhere I go every year, and she always come with me. this could be the last year it's possible to go there, and I know this place means alot to her. I really wonna invite her with me, i know I'll regret it if I don't, but I also don't wonna ruin this last summer there. I know I won't manage to be natural around her, I'll just be annoyed with her and seem angry, and that will ruin everything. Anyone have any advice?
Sorry for going on and on, but it's a long complicated story...
 
Sweetie, It sounds like she's taking you for a ride! Sorry for the bluntness! I know how hard it is to let your friends go but I think maybe the best idea is for you to spend some time with other friends. Take another friend along to this summer thing. The time apart might make your friend realise how much you mean to her. The only other thing I can say to you is that maybe you should speak to her on her own and explain to her why you're angry with her. Maybe she'll come round and understand where you're coming from. 🙂

Hope I helped. 🙂

Take care...

*hugs*
 
It's really hard to advise you..But one on one talk in vital here..but if I were you I wouldn't take her with me....No need to spoil your summer and if she still wants to be your friend after the summer then good....Just make sure you expalain to her your reasons for not taking her with you and maybe you could try talking bout drugs and running away too if you feel like you can help
 
Well, we've had alot of time apart. I haven't talked much to her in months.
I think I have found some conclusion anyway...If she calls me or takes contact somehow before I leave, then maybe I'll invite, if she doesn't, she can forget it. I don't wonna ruin my summer just to avoid her being mad at me, or sad cos of it.
The thing that bothers me is that I love her, and I just really wish it could go back to the way it used to be. but she has changed too much, and I just feel like she's using me.
Sorry for going on about this...I just really needed to get it out. I'm so angry at her, and disappointed.

Thanks for the advice, elmo and ana8!😀 It did help!
 
yeah i agree with ana8 and elmo..you'll have to talk this over with her to make things right again..coz if she's really in troubles, sommer or later she'll need you're help..maybe if you try now, you can prevent more troubles..
hope i helped somehow..
 
I've tried talking to her. the thing is, she doesn't understand she's done anything wrong at all. And when she threatened to beat up my other bestfriend I just got so mad.
I have told her mother everything I know about the drugs and all, so hopefully she can do something.
I just really hope it'll work out...I don't wonna loose her...But then again, I already have...
 
i'll hope that everytrging work out all ritgh...just try not to give up her...people do stupid things to the people that care about them sometimes and don't realize it untill it's too late...one day she'll thank you for helping her and not giving up..
 
Everyone has given you great advice. Some people just don't want to be helped. But you know, it may not always be this way. She's going through some things obviously. And she may come to you for help one day, once she admits to herself that she has a problem. But it probably has to be self-realized. As in one day, she'll realize it on her own. By trying to tell her what to do (don't take drugs etc.) you may end up only pushing her farther away from you.

Just let her come to you in her own time. There's clearly something wrong if she's threatening to beat up people.

Sorry you're going through this hun. Just be true to youself though. You owe it to you, and you don't owe her anything. She should consider herself very lucky to have a friend who cares about her so much.
 
I'll let her come to me. There isn't much more I can do, then be here for her when she needs me. Thanks for all the advices guys! It really helped, and I'm feeling alot better about all this now!
 
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