I think my mom's prejudice to my one of my friends...

A

ashley*marie

Runs With Scissors!
Joined
Mar 3, 2002
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205
Age
37
Location
Chicago, IL, USA
I am white. My whole entire family is white. My friend is black, not white. I invited my friend Allegra (the black one) to come and celebrate 4th of July at a beach party I'm having this 4th of July weekend with the rest of my family (I get pretty bored around my family and so I always have to have a friend to play with at family gatherings because I don't have any relatives my age). So, I called her and I let her know she was invited and she said that she accepted the invation and she was coming. And now just right after American Idol (please let Christina win) my mom calls me up 2 days after I invited Allegra and asks me to invite another friend and cancel Allegra and tell her she can't come. Then I asked why and my mom really wasn't giving me an answer. All she said was just invite another friend. I must've asked her at least 5 times and I got the same reply. Finally, on the 6th time my mom said, "I wouldn't appreciate it with someone being a different culture than us at the beach." And what I think my mom means by different culture is by the fact that I'm white and Allegra's black and my mom's predjudice towards African-Americans. Help...
 
prejudice is hard to take .more so if its from a parent.i suppose you need to try and point out to your mum how people of your age are far more culturally diverse than her generation.that multi-culturilism is going to be an integral part of your life.you need to convince her why its right without telling her she's wrong.there's no point falling out with your mum about it you'd never be able to change her mind that way.
 
Ok, but how will I brake to my friend that she can't come to the party. I really want her to come, but if you saw the look in my mom's eyes then you would know not to mess with her...

My mom did say I could invite her for a sleepover. Just me and her. At my house. "So that way we aren't in public."
 
Explain to them that no one thinks it's odd or out of place for a white person to hang around with a black person. If your mom is worried about other peoples reaction tell her no one will comment because nowadays it's really not unusual for a black person to hang out with a white person. If she's still not allowed to go, tell her your plans have changed. It's sorta lie but you don't need to hurt her feelings. She's done nothing wrong.
 
you could not go yourself to show the depth of your feelings on the matter.telling your friend is going to be difficult.make sure she knows its not the way you feel.
 
You could try and explain to your mother that you feel uncomfortable telling your friend Allegra that she isn't able to come to the beach with you, that she's your good friend and the only friend that you really want to be there with you. I'm a mum myself and i think your mother is being a little unkind in un-inviting your friend. I hope that it gets sorted out soon 🙂
 
If I were you, I would just boycott the party. Or, maybe before the day of the partyu you could invite your friend over so your mom can get to know her and see that she really is a nice girl.

Personally, I like the first idea.

Sorry. Can't stand racists.
 
I hate racists. I've got friends who come from Surinam, India, Marocco, Turkey, Pakistan and my parents love them. I don't know any people who are Afro-American but I love to meet one.
If I were you I would bring your friend anyway..so that is my advice to you🙂
 
Invite her anyway! I don't get why people who differ in colour are considered to be a different species or something. If I were you I would go skitz at my mum, but then it depends what your mum is like i guess. Don't back down, make her give you 1 good reason why her colour would be a problem.
 
Not to be hasty, but I'd do one of Two things. Tell your mom you won't invite her then do it anyways, or give your mum an ultimatium, if your friend doesn't go, you don't go.
 
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